wondering about this virgo i like

First off I am a cancer and she is a Virgo. I met her about 5 years ago and I could tell instantly she was in to me. I wasn't really feeling her the way she was me but we still kept in contact over the next few years. She ended up moving away and then even further away, but we still kept in touch. Her personality is unlike anyone's I have ever met. It's like once we start up a convo we talk for months and then out of no where we will stop, usually b/c I stop. To make a very long story short she asked me to visit her several times over the years, but I never did. I didn't wanna start up a relationship/dating someone long distance. But again we kept in touch mostly off and on. She actually had a bf for about a year while she moved away and even in that time she was still asking me to come visit. She ended up breaking up with him, but was still very hurt by the whole break up. It seemed like once they broke up our convos really started to take off. We would talk everyday all day and never stop. She always says that she doesn't wanna stop texting me before she goes to bed and will eventually fall asleep mid text. lol
She eventually moved back home b/c she missed her friends and needed to be around them again. This was about 8-9 months ago. Something I failed to mention that for about the last 2 years I have been traveling a lot outside the US. I come home for about 2-3 months and then leave for 4 months. Another reason not to get involved for me. Once we started talking after her breakup I felt like I 100% had feelings for her. The more I talk to her the more I like her even to this day. Everything about her is amazing. Things became kinda real and a little scary for me once she moved home, but I was only home when she was home for about a month and we only hung out once. It was a good time, nothing much happened. Then I left the country and we talked daily and things really started to heat up b/c I was coming home again and we both knew we liked each other and were actually gonna get to spend some time together. Problem was I was only gonna be home for a month and then leave again. We hung the first time after I was home for about 2 weeks and it was great. We kissed for the first time and I knew I really liked her, but again I was leaving. For the next 2-3 weeks she was fully in go mode. I kept telling her I was leaving and I didnt wanna complicate things, but she would just say IDC. I wanna live in the now and enjoy the moment

... con't...I really didn't know what to do. I cared so much about her I didn't wanna hurt her feelings or mine. I didn't want to leave and then constantly be thinking about her. When I care about someone I seem to really care. Very protective and hold them very close to my heart. I never want to hurt them at all.
SO she would ask me to come over almost daily. Say she misses me. Say things like "i forget what you look like" All kids of stuff. But I really never budged but a few times I went over to see her knowing it wasnt a good idea and would just complicate things. I never made any moves on her. No kissing. No sex. I just kept it simple.
Eventually we got in a fight almost the day after she said she was basically falling for me and neither of us spoke to each other for about 10 days. The next time we hung out was in a large group and she made out with some other guy in front of me. The next day I called her up to express my anger and how she broke my trust. Her response was that she didnt feel like i liked her and she would never do anything hurt me on purpose. NOw she knew I cared about her for really the first time b/c I actually showed it by calling her and complaining about another guy as oppose to just telling her i like you. The next week was hell. I tried to hang with her and show I liked her and the further she got from me it seemed. I told her I would stay home longer, but nothing worked and we didnt speak for a few days so I left. As soon as I leave she text me. We text for a bit and i said im driving just call me. SHe says ok and never calls. The next morning she text me. I had just had enough of the hold and cold. Care then not Care. SO i ignored her for about a week then wrote her a long email explaining why I acted how I acted at home. SHe responded quickly and everything was ok. I then was in the mindset of I finally got off my chest exactly how I feel about her and if she wants to talk to me she can. About a month goes by and she writes me to PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH. the whole idea of her message to me was that she missed and and really wanted to talk. I knew from that point on that we would slowly but surely get back to talking on a regular basis. I just kinda let her come to me and it seemed to work just fine. IT got to the point where I brought up some serious stuff and the past and it seemed like she would go right back in her shell. So again I would just wait for her to write me and eventualy she

con't...would. I started to make convos light and fun and worry free so I could take her mind off all the problems we or she was having with everything. It got to the point where she wrote me everyday. To the point where I would have a text when I got up everyday and we would talk every day again.
Out of the blue I decided to leave and come back home. I talked to her everyday of the drive home. She would call me after work... after she worked out... before bed and I loved it. THings felt so right again. SHe did say things like I seem much more open now and that im nicer. Once I got home I was eager to see her but I didnt wanna rush things too fast. I didnt have any expectations. I just knew I wanted to see her and see where this whole thing goes. I was home for 2 days and she asked me to meet her and her 2 friends at a bar and I was too beat to go so I said ill pass. And she said "your laziness is already kicking back in,but i wont take it personally lol" That was true I was just beat. I said lets just get dinner tom. she said ok sounds good. THe next day I wrote her I'm going to run some errands let me know if you wanna hang still. She wrote back "lmk what you wanna do, if not hang imma go to gym" i was like i said i wanted to hang and then she asked about 40 questions of details about what we were gonna do. I Just called her and she didnt answer. I then texted her and said im done talking about this we can just hang about another time plus its getting late. She said its not late, but w/e. I honestly just felt like she wanted to hang but was being overly complicated about it. Its a very simple task. since that time things have been awful. We talked the next couple days but I could tell us kinda pulling apart and her becoming more distant. I havent spoke to her in 3 days now. I text her last during a convo and she ignored it and we havent spoke sense. Im not the chasing type and idk if that is what she wants me to do. Or if she is analyzing me and everything about me. Analyzing how she feels about me or what. I dont know how someone can go from being so completely on to just nothing now. I really like her and she knows this and i know she does too. we are all going out this weekend so we'll see how it goes. Just wondering ppls thoughts and what i should do. I am trying to remain calm and cool but its hard for me being a cancer lol...thanks

I wouldnt say it is laziness. I had my reasons to take things super slow and not get involved. I do agree not calling/texting her for 10 straight days was a mistake. What I am worried about now is that fact that I am home and planning on being home for awhile and she knows this. She goes from completely on to completely off in a matter of a few days. Idk if its bc she asked me to hang out after my first nights back and I didnt. Then I didnt go to dinner bc she made it almost impossible.
Idk if she is holding back to see if I actually do like her like I say. Testing me more or less. Or if she just wants her space right now. Basically Idk if I should give her the space I think she wants right now to think and organize everything or if I should write her and chat. I dont wanna speed things up or push her. I wanna talk to her and text her, but I'm not sure its the best idea. I could be over thinking things as well b/c we only havent spoke now for like 3 days. I'm just so used to talking non stop everyday that I freak a bit.
I feel the same way I did after she made out with that guy, which I failed to mention she dated for about a month. I feel like she knows I like her and I am making more of a effort, but then she goes right into her hole. It seems like the closer I get the further she gets away and idk why. Girl has liked me for years and years. Damn near loved me it seemed. Then I make a effort to see her and be nicer and she runs. Im not really being nicer either. Im just being myself now and it feels great. For the first time I can actually be open and honest about how I feel about her b/c I'm not globe trotting for once. THank you for the responses so far

Ah hell.

You blew it.

Just reading your post made me fall half-way asleep.

Do you like the damn girl or don't you?

This is exactly what I can't stand about the Virgo/Cancer connection. All the bloody 'round and 'round.

As moongirljj said, I would have given up too.



Peace

first off, this must be the first post i'm seeing where a man has poured his thoughts in long long text.. hmm, interesting to know there are such guys. with regards to the post, if a girl initiates contact, writes, calls too much, the guy takes it as her being needs, clingy, petty etc. so most all times, a girl wants the guy to reach out, just so she knows she is not coming across as needy, and still has her act together. she secretly wishes you pursued her if she likes you. don't think and sti analyzing like a girl whether you should or should not contact. do what you feel like, her responses will tell how she feels.

Posted by memyself
first off, this must be the first post i'm seeing where a man has poured his thoughts in long long text.. hmm, interesting to know there are such guys. with regards to the post, if a girl initiates contact, writes, calls too much, the guy takes it as her being needs, clingy, petty etc. so most all times, a girl wants the guy to reach out, just so she knows she is not coming across as needy, and still has her act together. she secretly wishes you pursued her if she likes you. don't think and sti analyzing like a girl whether you should or should not contact. do what you feel like, her responses will tell how she feels.

*needy

All I really want to know is if I should pursue this any further. I like her. Up until about 5 days ago she was acting like we were basically boyfriend and girlfriend. Then I didnt go see her at a bar and the whole dinner fiasco didnt work out. Idk if she is thinking - woe he was so on a min ago, said he wanted to see me and then didnt, so she is falling back. Or if she is thinking this guy has been home for 2 days and already asked me to hang out, what a freak. I know virgs like to take things slow, dont like to be pushed, etc I also know they liked to feel appreciated and needed as well. Basically I dont wanna overstep my boundries if she is trying to distance herself from me, that could be bad news I think.
Maybe I should just stop worrying about things and ask her why she is being distant and short with me as of late.

@memyself thank you for the response. I did write her today basically b/c I wanted too. I kept the convo light and fun. Convo started off normal. As loving as she usually is but the longer the convo went the shorter it seemed she got. No questions about any interest in anything I was doing.

You guys say I blew it and whatnot which I did at that time I suppose. I am wondering about what to do now. Again I will most likely see her tom when me and all my friends go out.

I always find it funny when the Cancer or the Virgo says the other is blowing hot & cold on them not realizing that they do the exact same thing as well. Talk about mirroring. Such a complicated, exhausting relationship this one, with the potential to be so amazing and beautiful if all the you love me, you love me not games would cease.

This young lady has given you many solid expressions of interest verbally, physically...so if you "really" like her as you say you do, you're gonna need to work on showing and proving. You say one thing yet do another. There's no consistency with you and it's obvious that she only began pulling back after being disappointed on several occassions.

And it almost sounds like you're blaming her for most of the hiccups when in fact, it's you. Hopefully you can restore her confidence if you get it together and stop being all over the place.

Sadly VirgoVixxx I agree with you. On my long drive home we both seemed to be fully "hot." She would say things like better stop over on your way home. I would only think she was kidding. After analyzing it like a Virgo would I think me being fully on and then not seeing her when she asked this past weekend plus kinda blowing dinner off made her take a step backwards. In my messed up head I think -well I asked her to dinner, that is showing interest. Then her asking me a million questions about it, detail after detail, over complicating things made me think she wasnt really into going and it was annoying so I said we can hang some other time. So its kinda like you are saying.. the drive home I was hot and then i have dos chances to see her and I dont. Prolly causing her to rethink what I said. Now she is back in her shell and I want to pull her out of it and get things back to at least communicating. Today we talked a bit.. off and on and she hasnt responded for about 2 hours. So my first intention is to let her be for now. I made contact with her today and as the convo went she got a bit shorter and shorter. I will see her tom and who the heck knows what will happen. lol..
THanks for your response.