Worth working on or should i just let it go?

ok so yes i have posted about my relationship with my virgo man before on here. It seemed to have been improving because our communication got better. So i did feel it was working on because i trully do love him.
I really do love him and appreciate him as a man, Some problems that have arised though is his controlling, jelous nature. Its like he feels its his "right" for lack of a better word to know where i am at most of the time and who i'm with. Before him i do admit i had a lot of guy friends but a simple compliment on a text was enough to set him off, same with phone calls to hang out, see how im doing( which i don't see as a big deal because they know i'm happily with somebody, but a long friendship should be cut off because of it?) Anyways i eventually just got sick of his complaint's and got a new number.Another issue I was a teaching assistant and i wore a nice purple halter with a black sweater on top, i came back home and he flipped out saying who are you trying to impress, showing off your tits (it really was not that low) he sounds like my mother!!! Anyways but my biggest problem is the INFAMOUS virgo dissapearing act yet again. It will be a couple weeks here and there minimum contact a few texts within that whole time, only to come back like nothing happend to say he was working( he works in his uncles company from city to city as an electrician) only to have me of course try to act normal, then end up getting angry, only to break down and get emotional to him comforting me (very embarresing as an aries woman) He is currently in his dissapearing again, im just getting fed up. I no longer am going to be emotional with him, i am going to be perfectly normal and try not to let him faze me and see just how he reacts.

I really do believe he loves me when he says it, he treats me great and i feel safe secure with him. We have great conversations, great sex, great relationship dynamic. Its just these things above that drive me crazy, i feel like an insane emotional wreck when he dissapears which is totally a first for me and is very opposite from my aries personality to begin with. We have had very deep intimite conversations about our future, his past, his fear of me leaving him and his trouble with trusting people and his deep fear of being alone. He does seem insecure and likes constant attention which i realize i should give more of. He mentioned once that i dont tell him i love him that much, i said i thought it was understood i did

and that actions should speak louder then words. It just drives me crazy that he keeps dissapearing its so confusing and very draining. I just dont know what to think, he always says just because he goes away doesn;t mean he feels any less for me. But it just makes me feel like a hyprocrite when i listen to his words because "apparently" i believe actions speak louder then words, right?

The last time we saw eachother we had an argument in the morning which was really stupid but escalated i dont really remember what it was about but it ended with a pyhsical pushing on both are part to me feeling like i was having a panic attack, he lay back in bed with me and apoligized for making me feel that way and that im pretty sure said "see how your feeling, this is how you make me feel all the time" we ended up arguing about something further and him saying we haven't been good for a couple months now i said whatever just go to work. He went to work texted me saying he misses me a couple times... and i called over two of our guy friends/neibours to have a couple beers,(i was very upset) he came much earlier then expected(im guessing to spend some time with me) to see them at my house, we all chilled like nothing happend, talked, etc. i knew he was upset even though he was pretending not to be, everyone left, i left for a bit to take care of some family issues. then i came back only to have him kiss me bye saying he'll be back to not coming back, almost 2 weeks now, just the occasional text, i know his phone is dead now, his charger is here. he probably working.

i just really beleive me and him can work, he's helped me with a lot in my life not physically but he helped me grow as a person, helped me to calm down and helped me focus in my life.


"if" he comes back which i'm sure he will eventually do you belive its worth working on? any insight on his behaviour? advice? i just feel very dissrespected and left hanging when he does this, as well as worried, and he knows that, i feel like its a sort of punishment on his part. Funny how, we started this with him feeling like i was gonna screw him over(i never have) and he felt i was gonna play games. Seems like he's the only one playing games with my head now.

Have you told him you don't like it when he disappears for a long time?

@69- i wouldnt exactly consider you bad boys but you seem to really like compliments and attention lol
and i did your idea awhile ago, the good and the bad seem to be about the same

@cajunspirit- obviously i told him. He always does this long apolegetic thing after i scream at him then get all emotional(ughh!) i realized i really gotta stop this screaming then crying thing. He's soo insecure we will be doing fine then something that seems to have affected his ego(our 2 guy friends) coming over to have a couple drinks just made him leave, instead of trying to discuss our issues about the morning after they left.

am i just delusional does this guy even seem to give a shit, cause this disseapering shit is retarted, ive never dealt with something like this before

lol no not young he's 25

what exactly do u mean by pushing and pulling?
(Him leaving and coming back?)

I get a sense from your postings that he worries about his grasp or "control" on his environment slipping away. I would bet he usually responds to your screaming and crying with a quiet demeanor (at least at first) and then over time it would be a button-press too many and you would see an angrier side. I can only speak for my own Virgo self here but he sounds like a slightly younger me before I made a few "pacts" with myself. Until he can learn to let go and trust you, this is the side he will continue to display. I don't recommend playing into his control but working with it. The emotional outbursts on your part should be quelled slightly and replaced with a proper arguement. Riddle me this. Have you ever paid attention to one of your arguements (heck everyone can think about this one) and counted the number of times you utter the word "you"? I can't stand it when "you" do this. "You" always act like this. I hate it when "you" say this. You you you you & you. This is literally an attack on a person prompting the fight or flight response. Try this. Rather than attacking the person and citing their flaws, come together against the "ideas" that you do not desire. These leaves of absence with no word leave me _________.

I would not push any more buttons either. Honestly how did you expect the outcome of bringing over two guys to go when you knew how he felt about that? If he feels you're dressed too provocative for an event that does not call for that then talk to him about it. Guys like their girl to dress sexy when they have you to show off as "theirs". I know there's no literal ownership going on here it's just figuratively speaking. Everyone has a jealous side I believe. Others stronger. Let's gauge his irrational aspect of his jealousy but no longer feed it by doing things that obviously make him jealous. Hope any of this helps and none of it comes across as an attack. 😉

thanks. it's just a very emotionally destructive relationship. time to let it go. I'm the only one trying and it's draining me. It's his turn. Sometimes love is just not enough. If someone wanted to be in your life they will. I can't control every situation.