Communicating with EX

How do divorced people do this.

Not sure if I should talk to Taurus people for me or Sagittarius people for ex opinion. Divorced over a year. She (Sagittarius) wanted it. Neither one of us has dated since. Went camping this summer for grandsons birthday. Shared tent with ex, no contact, she would have. After, she texts that she misses me and the cats. Went for grand daughters birthday and early Thanksgiving and they gave me Christmas goodies (they didn't last year). Ex texts me that she misses me and the cats. I am fine and glad I visited both times but I do not miss her. I do not want to not see them all but I also don't want her to call and need me to rescue her because she had a hard time. She has finally stopped asking for money. Also what if I actually ever (by some miracle) date someone. What will they think is ok?

Posted by Shy_Taurus

How do divorced people do this.

Not sure if I should talk to Taurus people for me or Sagittarius people for ex opinion. Divorced over a year. She (Sagittarius) wanted it. Neither one of us has dated since. Went camping this summer for grandsons birthday. Shared tent with ex, no contact, she would have. After, she texts that she misses me and the cats. Went for grand daughters birthday and early Thanksgiving and they gave me Christmas goodies (they didn't last year). Ex texts me that she misses me and the cats. I am fine and glad I visited both times but I do not miss her. I do not want to not see them all but I also don't want her to call and need me to rescue her because she had a hard time. She has finally stopped asking for money. Also what if I actually ever (by some miracle) date someone. What will they think is ok?

if it works it's because of the people involved and the circumstances and it doesn't always work - I tried at the Pisces request to be friends and just hang out once in awhile but before too long he was up to his old games so I had to shut it down

time, space/distance and not just finding your happy again because it sounds like you have but enough of that will carry you into the future - and who cares what they will think is ok - it will become ok because you still have life to live

I'm on a zero contact with ex husband. I had to cut him out of our life fully. He was abusive to me and our kids. So for me its easy. I can imagine that if there were no reasons for arguements and such, it would be a lot more difficult, especially if there are children involved. Set clear boundaries for eachother.

Posted by Shy_Taurus

Ex texts me that she misses me and the cats. I am fine and glad I visited both times but I do not miss her. I do not want to not see them all but I also don't want her to call and need me to rescue her because she had a hard time. She has finally stopped asking for money. Also what if I actually ever (by some miracle) date someone. What will they think is ok?

Are they your own grandchildren? If not, it depends upon their parents how much contact would they keep with you, now that you are not officially part of the family. It's not your choice....relax!

Do what it's good for you. Start thinking about your future without your ex in the picture. Why should it be "a miracle" to date someone, for a 57 yrs old male? Put yourself out there and meet new people. You might even find love again, who knows?

"Will they think it's OK?" YOU are the adult/parent! You decide what it's ok to do with YOUR life! Anyone who cares and appreciates you, should come to respect your decisions.

I would set boundaries with her. Tell her you’re doing fine and you don’t need her “I miss you’s” She seems to do it after she sees you so I’m wondering if she thinks you’re sad. She was the one who divorced you.

As for the dating thing, she may not tell you she is. Sag people like to keep up a front and she won’t want you thinking in a bad way about her.

But she divorced you for a reason. It most likely wasn't to remain single. I can understand you staying single for now, since she was the one who left.

Let her know- she wanted the divorce, she got the divorce, now she needs to stop bothering you with nonsense. Tell her you’re doing alright and trying to get settled into a life without her.

Edited to add- I didn’t admit to my ex husband that I was dating until he found a girlfriend. I hurt him already when I left, I didn’t want to hurt him again by shoving my dating in his face.

Date who you want. Don’t worry about what people will think. She will probably be happy for you.

Actually I believe the ex has not dated (not that it matters) she is happy to live with her kids and the grand kids and she got pissed when her dr. asked her if she was having sex. The kids and grand kids are not mine but they all care for me as if they were. Six year old grand daughter cried after I left. I really enjoyed seeing them all. Maybe because its not everyday now. But it made me wonder what happens if/when I date.

If you want to maintain a relationship with kids and grandkids, keep contact limited to related to kids.

I’m a Sag. When I’m done, I’m done. But my ex was always wanting to do things for me still when I left him. I had to stop allowing that, not keep the tie with his parents except friendly related to kids. It was a big adjustment but neither of us tried to get back together, just hard to stop certain things when you’re together 2 decades. But it was necessary.

Guys I date are fine with contact with ex as long as it’s related to kids. Now sleeping in a tent.. helping them out financially, ex saying they miss you, not so much.

"Guys I date are fine with contact with ex as long as it’s related to kids. Now sleeping in a tent.. helping them out financially, ex saying they miss you, not so much."

I agree.