Posted by Googly_girl
He's my husband. He's very caring and loving. But recently he started comparing me with other women. He will just say something and then laugh when i get angry. He doesn't appreciate what i do for him. But appreciate other women when they do same thing which i already did. I'm confused. What's wrong with him— He always goes out of his way to help me and always there for me whenever i need him. But when he compares me with other women it breaks my heart i hate that feeling.
Posted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
Posted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
I am a movie buff please say postman.click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
I am a movie buff please say postman.
I was going to say milkman 😀click to expand
Posted by LostthoughtsPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
I am a movie buff please say postman.
I was going to say milkman 😀
No no get with the times woman. The Amazon delivery guy😉click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by LostthoughtsPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
I am a movie buff please say postman.
I was going to say milkman 😀
No no get with the times woman. The Amazon delivery guy😉
I would have but the one who delivers to me is really creepy 🤣click to expand
Posted by LostthoughtsPosted by Googly_girl
He's my husband. He's very caring and loving. But recently he started comparing me with other women. He will just say something and then laugh when i get angry. He doesn't appreciate what i do for him. But appreciate other women when they do same thing which i already did. I'm confused. What's wrong with him— He always goes out of his way to help me and always there for me whenever i need him. But when he compares me with other women it breaks my heart i hate that feeling.
Put him in check a light hearted way. Humour is always a good way to go about it. Talking to him about it before these feelings build up and undermine your relationship is what is important here.
Can you give better detail? Because this could be a lot of things. It could be anywhere from mindless chatter to passive aggressive hinting.click to expand
Posted by CoffeeAndCream
Googly Girl
The understanding of self
ARe you a Pisces?
Posted by dOpehEad
Can you give an example?
Posted by RollergirlOrc
What have you and him been fighting over, if anything? Taurus in my exp is not subversive like that. They either get really angry or totally apathetic.
Posted by dOpehEad
He sounds insecure. Maybe he feels as if your attraction to him is waning or you're not as into him as you used to be.
Posted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃Lol 😹
Posted by Sunsetvirgo
Perhaps try to talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel. No one likes to be compared and feel less than. Especially if that person is your husband/wife. Hopefully he can understand☺️
BUT personally I can be a bit possessive and I hate the feeling of jealousy so I would probably just stare at him like so 😐
And then tell him “I dare you to do it again🔫
Posted by jeane
just talk to him about it. say it breaks my heart when you compare me to other women. i don't like it when i get upset you laugh. i feel unappreciated.
don't say what is wrong with you? you appreciate other women more.
don't use sentences that start with "you". use sentences that start with "i".
Posted by Googly_girlPosted by jeane
just talk to him about it. say it breaks my heart when you compare me to other women. i don't like it when i get upset you laugh. i feel unappreciated.
don't say what is wrong with you? you appreciate other women more.
don't use sentences that start with "you". use sentences that start with "i".
It's so difficult to stay calm when he compares me. I get super angry everytime.click to expand
Posted by Googly_girlPosted by Sunsetvirgo
Perhaps try to talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel. No one likes to be compared and feel less than. Especially if that person is your husband/wife. Hopefully he can understand☺️
BUT personally I can be a bit possessive and I hate the feeling of jealousy so I would probably just stare at him like so 😐
And then tell him “I dare you to do it again🔫
I got so angry and fought with him. He was just smiling all the time which made me angrier. Then he made watermelon juice for me.click to expand
Posted by Googly_girlPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by Googly_girl
He's my husband. He's very caring and loving. But recently he started comparing me with other women. He will just say something and then laugh when i get angry. He doesn't appreciate what i do for him. But appreciate other women when they do same thing which i already did. I'm confused. What's wrong with him— He always goes out of his way to help me and always there for me whenever i need him. But when he compares me with other women it breaks my heart i hate that feeling.
Put him in check a light hearted way. Humour is always a good way to go about it. Talking to him about it before these feelings build up and undermine your relationship is what is important here.
Can you give better detail? Because this could be a lot of things. It could be anywhere from mindless chatter to passive aggressive hinting.
He says it in a casual way. Like if someone cooked something he will say see how nicely she cooked. But he will never appreciate what i cook for him. We had a baby last year and i gained weight. He started making fun of me. You look like a bowl and he will laugh. So i started dieting and exercise and lost weight. Still he says you didn't lose any weight. Whatever he says he says in a very casual way and with a smile. But it hurts me. Why he never appreciate what i do for him? Is it so difficult to appreciate me and so easy to appreciate other women?click to expand
Posted by Googly_girlPosted by RollergirlOrc
What have you and him been fighting over, if anything? Taurus in my exp is not subversive like that. They either get really angry or totally apathetic.
But Taurus has lot of ego.click to expand
Posted by Timone
Talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't realize he's being an insensitive jerk. Two of my friends are pisces sun/ scorpio moon and they usually keep what their partner does that hurt them inside.
Either that or you could mirror what he's doing.
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
I am a movie buff please say postman.
I was going to say milkman 😀click to expand
Posted by jeanePosted by Timone
Talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't realize he's being an insensitive jerk. Two of my friends are pisces sun/ scorpio moon and they usually keep what their partner does that hurt them inside.
Either that or you could mirror what he's doing.
i don't think mirroring would work in this instance.
him: that woman is a great cook
her: that guy has a great set of teeth
would the likely response be?
a) him to himself: oh that smarts, i better stop comparing her to other women
or
b) him to himself: what a bitch. i'm going to stop doing nice things for her if she prefers other men over me.click to expand
Posted by dOpehEadPosted by Googly_girlPosted by dOpehEad
Can you give an example?
He says it in a casual way. Like if someone cooked something he will say see how nicely she cooked. But he will never appreciate what i cook for him. We had a baby last year and i gained weight. He started making fun of me. You look like a bowl and he will laugh. So i started dieting and exercise and lost weight. Still he says you didn't lose any weight. Whatever he says he says in a very casual way and with a smile. But it hurts me. Why he never appreciate what i do for him? Is it so difficult to appreciate me and so easy to appreciate other women?
I see, so he's just an asshole then. Does he have aries mercury? That sounds like their humor. Or a fire moon. They think they're funny, but they're mean. Can you think of things you can insult him for? Maybe start pointing out how other men are so nice to you? lol.click to expand
Posted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ParkourlerPosted by MyStarsShine
Just shout at him
"Well you're not as good as the window cleaner"
😂😅🙃
I am a movie buff please say postman.
I was going to say milkman 😀
Is it worth watching?click to expand
Posted by TimonePosted by jeanePosted by Timone
Talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't realize he's being an insensitive jerk. Two of my friends are pisces sun/ scorpio moon and they usually keep what their partner does that hurt them inside.
Either that or you could mirror what he's doing.
i don't think mirroring would work in this instance.
him: that woman is a great cook
her: that guy has a great set of teeth
would the likely response be?
a) him to himself: oh that smarts, i better stop comparing her to other women
or
b) him to himself: what a bitch. i'm going to stop doing nice things for her if she prefers other men over me.
If he's still that oblivious then he's an idiot.click to expand
Posted by Undine
I find his behaviour disgusting. It's interesting that it started to manifest as soon as you had his baby. What was he thinking..that you are now trapped and going to take his insults with a smile...?
Set your boundaries...everything he says on purpose, for the sadistic reason to see you upset, goes in there. Each time he crosses those lines, he needs to do something to make it up to you....like apologising and complimenting five different things about you (since people have a 5-time stronger reaction to insults and humiliation than to compliments), paying a hefty fee into your account, or another account for going out, etc.... Get creative!
Should he still disrespect you by ignoring your boundaries, and so practically bully you, sit down with him and have a serious talk. Prepare yourself to walk out. If he can't live without bullying and triangulating you, you certainly can live (much better) without him.
As a child, I lived with a bully mother (Taurus, what else?) and I know how horrible it feels even to EXPECT to be abused each day for no reason whatsoever. Once I won a top prize in a subject I was not usually excellent at (math). How did Taurus congratulate me? "A cretin like you would not be able to maintain such standard, would it?" Followed by her usual narcissistic rant about why was she punished to have such useless, stupid children, when ALL the other mothers had talented, brilliant offspring!
Posted by tctapp007Posted by Undine
I find his behaviour disgusting. It's interesting that it started to manifest as soon as you had his baby. What was he thinking..that you are now trapped and going to take his insults with a smile...?
Set your boundaries...everything he says on purpose, for the sadistic reason to see you upset, goes in there. Each time he crosses those lines, he needs to do something to make it up to you....like apologising and complimenting five different things about you (since people have a 5-time stronger reaction to insults and humiliation than to compliments), paying a hefty fee into your account, or another account for going out, etc.... Get creative!
Should he still disrespect you by ignoring your boundaries, and so practically bully you, sit down with him and have a serious talk. Prepare yourself to walk out. If he can't live without bullying and triangulating you, you certainly can live (much better) without him.
As a child, I lived with a bully mother (Taurus, what else?) and I know how horrible it feels even to EXPECT to be abused each day for no reason whatsoever. Once I won a top prize in a subject I was not usually excellent at (math). How did Taurus congratulate me? "A cretin like you would not be able to maintain such standard, would it?" Followed by her usual narcissistic rant about why was she punished to have such useless, stupid children, when ALL the other mothers had talented, brilliant offspring!
that's very bad and Taurus mothers are normally better than that - so sorry - I'm a Taurus and I had a verbally abusive and very narcissitic Leo for a motherclick to expand
Posted by NemDeuxPosted by jeanePosted by Googly_girlPosted by jeane
just talk to him about it. say it breaks my heart when you compare me to other women. i don't like it when i get upset you laugh. i feel unappreciated.
don't say what is wrong with you? you appreciate other women more.
don't use sentences that start with "you". use sentences that start with "i".
It's so difficult to stay calm when he compares me. I get super angry everytime.
I get that but that anger is actually masking other emotions like fear or frustration or hurt or possibly all three.
You'll get results if you explain what it does to you when he does that. He obviously loves and cares for you. He might be stupid enough to think its funny and he is having a joke with you. If he doesn't really grasp how much it hurts you then communicating in an angry way is not going to get yourself heard by him. He'll close his ears, get defensive, possibly blame you for being too sensitive and you'll be further away from your goal which is ultimately to get him to stop. Not because you yelled at him but because he understands how much he hurts you when he does it.
realllly curious: how is it obvious that he cares for and loves her?click to expand
Posted by UndinePosted by tctapp007Posted by Undine
I find his behaviour disgusting. It's interesting that it started to manifest as soon as you had his baby. What was he thinking..that you are now trapped and going to take his insults with a smile...?
Set your boundaries...everything he says on purpose, for the sadistic reason to see you upset, goes in there. Each time he crosses those lines, he needs to do something to make it up to you....like apologising and complimenting five different things about you (since people have a 5-time stronger reaction to insults and humiliation than to compliments), paying a hefty fee into your account, or another account for going out, etc.... Get creative!
Should he still disrespect you by ignoring your boundaries, and so practically bully you, sit down with him and have a serious talk. Prepare yourself to walk out. If he can't live without bullying and triangulating you, you certainly can live (much better) without him.
As a child, I lived with a bully mother (Taurus, what else?) and I know how horrible it feels even to EXPECT to be abused each day for no reason whatsoever. Once I won a top prize in a subject I was not usually excellent at (math). How did Taurus congratulate me? "A cretin like you would not be able to maintain such standard, would it?" Followed by her usual narcissistic rant about why was she punished to have such useless, stupid children, when ALL the other mothers had talented, brilliant offspring!
that's very bad and Taurus mothers are normally better than that - so sorry - I'm a Taurus and I had a verbally abusive and very narcissitic Leo for a mother
Hey, didn't mean to bash Taurus, I'm sure there are many good people under this sign. My mother in law, for example, also a Taurus, was a loving and down to earth person, in fact one of my favourite people in the world! One of my favourite apprentices of all times was a Taurus with Cap moon.
Mother was not normal, but one of the 0.5-1% people with NPD. I didn't know this was NPD, until about 5 years ago, after dating a man with NPD and reading a lot about the disorder. She has Leo moon and is Leo dominant in Pullen (no offence to Leos, lol)click to expand
Posted by Googly_girl
Thank you all for replies. We have been together for more than 10 yrs and married for 3 years. He has always been caring and loving to me. He started comparing me recently maybe it's just a phase. I noticed if i react angrily it doesn't affect him at all. He just starts smiling. So i have decided to just ignore it. Because i know he cares for me and loves me. I love him a lot can't imagine life without him. I tried talking to him about comparing thing but it doesn't seem to make any difference. So, whenever he compares me i will just accept it. I'll say yes she cooks better than me, yes their house is cleaner than ours etc.
Posted by Googly_girlPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by Googly_girl
He's my husband. He's very caring and loving. But recently he started comparing me with other women. He will just say something and then laugh when i get angry. He doesn't appreciate what i do for him. But appreciate other women when they do same thing which i already did. I'm confused. What's wrong with him— He always goes out of his way to help me and always there for me whenever i need him. But when he compares me with other women it breaks my heart i hate that feeling.
Put him in check a light hearted way. Humour is always a good way to go about it. Talking to him about it before these feelings build up and undermine your relationship is what is important here.
Can you give better detail? Because this could be a lot of things. It could be anywhere from mindless chatter to passive aggressive hinting.
He says it in a casual way. Like if someone cooked something he will say see how nicely she cooked. But he will never appreciate what i cook for him. We had a baby last year and i gained weight. He started making fun of me. You look like a bowl and he will laugh. So i started dieting and exercise and lost weight. Still he says you didn't lose any weight. Whatever he says he says in a very casual way and with a smile. But it hurts me. Why he never appreciate what i do for him? Is it so difficult to appreciate me and so easy to appreciate other women?click to expand
Posted by dOpehEadPosted by Googly_girlPosted by dOpehEad
Can you give an example?
He says it in a casual way. Like if someone cooked something he will say see how nicely she cooked. But he will never appreciate what i cook for him. We had a baby last year and i gained weight. He started making fun of me. You look like a bowl and he will laugh. So i started dieting and exercise and lost weight. Still he says you didn't lose any weight. Whatever he says he says in a very casual way and with a smile. But it hurts me. Why he never appreciate what i do for him? Is it so difficult to appreciate me and so easy to appreciate other women?
I see, so he's just an asshole then. Does he have aries mercury? That sounds like their humor. Or a fire moon. They think they're funny, but they're mean. Can you think of things you can insult him for? Maybe start pointing out how other men are so nice to you? lol.click to expand
Posted by bkbella86Posted by Googly_girlPosted by LostthoughtsPosted by Googly_girl
He's my husband. He's very caring and loving. But recently he started comparing me with other women. He will just say something and then laugh when i get angry. He doesn't appreciate what i do for him. But appreciate other women when they do same thing which i already did. I'm confused. What's wrong with him— He always goes out of his way to help me and always there for me whenever i need him. But when he compares me with other women it breaks my heart i hate that feeling.
Put him in check a light hearted way. Humour is always a good way to go about it. Talking to him about it before these feelings build up and undermine your relationship is what is important here.
Can you give better detail? Because this could be a lot of things. It could be anywhere from mindless chatter to passive aggressive hinting.
He says it in a casual way. Like if someone cooked something he will say see how nicely she cooked. But he will never appreciate what i cook for him. We had a baby last year and i gained weight. He started making fun of me. You look like a bowl and he will laugh. So i started dieting and exercise and lost weight. Still he says you didn't lose any weight. Whatever he says he says in a very casual way and with a smile. But it hurts me. Why he never appreciate what i do for him? Is it so difficult to appreciate me and so easy to appreciate other women?
This is abuse and grounds for divorce, fuck all the other bullshit.click to expand
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