Posted by LadyNeptune But... a breakup didn't happen. So that's why he is acting like it didn't... because it didn't. You have to be in a relationship in order to breakup.
Idk that I'd call him being his normal self around you as 'hanging on for dear life' type of behavior. Do you expect him to be an ass?
Seeking out second hand information from mutual friends, counting his likes on other peoples sm, you sure your not the one hanging on here?
Stick to your boundaries. He can't give you what you want. If that changes he can come to you directly and let it be known. Don't look for signs in his interactions with others.
I probably wasn’t clear. We were seeing each other at least once or twice a week, usually in group settings. We were regularly physically intimate with limits (all his). We texted regularly. Basically, we were a couple without the label. Everybody knew that we were “together.” All of that stopped and when I told him the situation was becoming too painful for me, and I went no contact. Maybe you don’t want to call it a technical break up, but a situationship can be ended by either party. We were definitely not acting like platonic friends. And as for him asking after me and talking about me and liking my stuff on other peoples posts, this is not information I have sought out. My friends have volunteered this information without me asking. I have worked so hard to physically avoid him, and it’s really difficult because we’re in the same circle of friends. Never once have I initiated contact with him in the last three months.
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You may have been fucking, hanging out, affectionate, etc etc. But the facts are, he made it very clear that he did not want a romantic relationship. I understand it wasn't platonic. That still doesn't make you distancing yourself from him a breakup.
Whether you sought out the info or not you seem to be reading into it, hoping for the outcome you desire. Again, if he has changed his mind he can be direct with you and let it be known. For your own peace of mind let this go completely. You can't control his actions and intentions, you can only control yours. Putting energy into interpreting him as 'hanging on' is not gonna help you let go.
I guess the lesson to learn here is to believe and accept people for where they are at, don't try to change someone. It'll just end in disappointment. Also maybe don't dip into the friend pool next time, awkward af when it implodes. Or if you do go there, take things slow very veeeery slow.
Living with my gbff was pretty amazing. His Gemini moon, my Aries moon, we got into lots of trouble lol. With a big enough place you can coexist with most anyone. He is way more social then me and there would constantly be people in our house, but we had our bedrooms on opposite sides of the house so you could disappear and do your own thing in privacy. That was a great rental, 3bd 3b and both of our bedrooms were equal size with equal sized ensuite bathrooms.
Idk about worst placements. But definitely whatever the psychos were who moved into the triplex I was living at. Up to that point it was me in the backhouse, a tiny 1 bd. And this cute older couple in the front house, they were delightful. Then these crazies moved in upstairs from them and terrorized EVERYONE. It got to the point where I had to move after bodily threats, property damage, and harassment. I bumped into that landlord a few months ago and he was saying his long time tenants, the older couple, also moved out because of them. They had been his tenants for over 15yrs. He's in the process of evicting them but it takes forever in la. They also only paid like the first few months of rent and then stopped because 'covid' even tho everyones back to work now. Makes you really second guess getting into that landlord game.
I do this too. I don't think its ADHD, its just too much to do too little time. And since there is no deadline staring me down for these kinda tasks its like, oh let me sweep this room. Hmmm how would this chair look over there? Next thing I know I'm rearranging furniture lol.
Just tell yourself at least things are getting closer to the finish line, right?
Doctor? About olive oil? You serious??? Now I had heard everything.
Or dietician or someone with some actual education on the subject.
You were influenced by someone online and are now asking others online to validify your health choices. Cyclical madness.
You base your conclusions on your own fantasies. And you have them wild, lady. BTW so you know - those people who making big online with their BS - having education and knowledge. So much of it so they can talk wisely and make a lot of money on those who trust 'dietitian is a doctor' myth.
I took what i wanted out of it and asked if Italians or Greeks can tell me - and which one are you, Lady?
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Good luck with your fb health plan gemitati, your gonna need it.
Posted by LadyNeptune So you haven't met one of his kids and he wants to still propose? Kinda backward progression but ok. That would definitely read as a red flag. Along with the red flag of him having multiple babies with multiple women.
Is he talking about the ring to shut you up about the fact he keeps you hidden and doesn't take you out in public? Idk talk is cheap.
Not to down play his trauma, because he could definitely be a recovering victim here. But also there is the possibility this is his go to victimhood card he plays with the new girl while bashing the ex and taking zero responsibility for the failed relationship. Have you actually seen them interact or seen abusive texts from her to him? Or is this just his word on things...
I wouldn't blame her for not wanting her kid around you if she is thinking he cheated on her with you when they were together.
Before you decide to marry someone you should know about their finances. He needs to be completely transparent, especially with 3 babies to feed. Is he paying court ordered child support? Or just has an agreement with his baby mom(s) to help out financially? What will that mean for you if and when you have children with him?
1. He is the one that has always mentioned the ring and wanting to marry me, I never brought it up. 2. I am not completely hidden, I have met his parents, siblings, 2 of the kids, and his friends. I am only hidden from her really. 3.I dont blame her about that too but that was not the case, its misundersood and when we were talking they were not together. 4.He is very transparents on money, what he owes on, and I know how much he makes. And he has 50/50 custody with the twins and pays child support. He currently isnt paying child support with the 3rd kid but he pays for things for the kid all the time and asks her if she needs money and supports any way he can financially, she has not taken him to court. This is his main concern as if she finds out about me and gets vengeful she will take advantage of him in court. 5. We have discussed future children and I am fine with not having any. I dont care to have any, i am indifferent. Plus he already has 3. He is getting a visectomy in august but he is going to save some sperm. He says "incase I change my mind" So he is doing it for me.
Also I know he is not trying to flip things on me and portray her as someone she isnt. His step mom and best friend have told me how she was as well and they told me she was abusive toward him as well.
He should go To court . I’ve known someone who paid support like this then ex wife took him too court saying he never paid anything! It’s better that it’s an agreed amount. He needs to write checks to prove it.
Wait! She is a psycho and he is giving her money that he can not prove he is giving? Are you both crazy? Nothing is right in this story.
Not necessarily giving money. But buying stuff for the kid
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Ooooff no wonder she is mad. I'd be mad too. Buying some diapers is not enough. What about utility bills, rent, groceries?
He only has the kid on the weekend which means the mother has only 2 days a week to work and make money and provide the necessities for their kid. Whereas he has the full 5 day work week of freedom. He needs to be paying a portion of her bills, her rent, providing money for groceries. Some stuff for the kid is simply not enough.
This dude has his priorities all wrong. Why is he taking you on dates and buying an engagement ring for you when he needs to be providing the basics for his child? Backward af.
No wonder he is hesitant to take her to court, he doesn't want to cough up his fair share. So he gives you the sob story about her being psycho blah blah blah. I wonder what version of the sob story he gives her to keep her content with some bs stuff. Its all starting to make sense.