@virgoOPPP
7 Years10,000+ Posts
how do i improve
it's not that i don't make the effort to communicate and express my views about it to him. but he makes it out as if i'm always neglecting him. in fact, this often comes up as an 'issue' between us. it's not that i forget, it's just i do it on purpose. i'm all for lovebombing but i rarely come across clingy via technology. i feel more comfortable being around in person. and being a disappointment deflates me even more. btw he's a pisces moon. i feel like i've had this same problem with a cardinal sun/water moon in the past as well (aries sun/cancer moon) like legit this dude tires me with all the videochats. it just feels so unnecessary sometimes. one of the main reasons that didn't work out. and now i'm facing the same issue so i MUST be the problem obvi.
I think they secretly like disappointment. It brings out their daddy vibes. Plus a lot of them wouldn't know what to do with an overly communicative partner, despite what they say.
you need a little bit of negging into your couple.
one hour of negging a day saves couples
I think they secretly like disappointment. It brings out their daddy vibes. Plus a lot of them wouldn't know what to do with an overly communicative partner, despite what they say.
omg lol he's such a dad yeah
and look i'm mercurial like i can keep up convos with geminis
but i'd talk more in depth with redditors than i would loved ones
coz i'm more 'tactile' in relationships coz talk is real cheap to me
but he really went full dad mode when i told him straight up that making me feel like a constant disappointment's only making me... well, become even MORE of a constant disappointment. like i don't know if it's on purpose but dude's always making me cry. i've never cried this much over someone before. he tires me out with his accusations of neglect and it often ends with me crying over it. coz i'm a virgo and i'm FAILING. i'm so blunt about how i'm utilitarian about communicating and he just can't accept it. he says he forced himself to distance from me but it kills him so he can't stop but reach out. i react the complete opposite of him, handling it by going the other direction.
i give so much space and.... he doesn't like that.
you need a little bit of negging into your couple.
one hour of negging a day saves couples
eww
we're both lovebombers
i love yous on the first date menu
plus we already tend to mentally beat ourselves up
negging is for people who needs go down a peg
not for people convinced they're operating rock-bottom
You are not the one to blame. This man does not know you well enough to understand or respect your needs. Changing yourself to pleasure another leads to disappointment, self doubt and lower self worth in ones self.
Improving yourself comes from understanding and respecting yourself, regardless of outside influence. If he cannot accept you for you, that's a him problem...
Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.
This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.
it's not that i don't make the effort to communicate and express my views about it to him. but he makes it out as if i'm always neglecting him. in fact, this often comes up as an 'issue' between us. it's not that i forget, it's just i do it on purpose. i'm all for lovebombing but i rarely come across clingy via technology. i feel more comfortable being around in person. and being a disappointment deflates me even more. btw he's a pisces moon. i feel like i've had this same problem with a cardinal sun/water moon in the past as well (aries sun/cancer moon) like legit this dude tires me with all the videochats. it just feels so unnecessary sometimes. one of the main reasons that didn't work out. and now i'm facing the same issue so i MUST be the problem obvi.
He wants a favour from you. More of a good thing. If it wasn't a good thing what you gave him, he wouldn't have asked for more.
Except that instead of asking nicely, enticing you, spiking your interest, driving your imagination wild, or any other tactics that would work, he started to belittle and gaslight you. Welcome to the devaluation phase!
So here you are...reduced to a insecure "schoolgirl", unable to trust your instincts and talents.
The question you should ask is "How does HE improve?"
Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.
This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.
that's exactly what i'm thinking
i really gotta push through with the whole living together
Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.
This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.
that's exactly what i'm thinking
i really gotta push through with the whole living together
click to expand
Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄
Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.
This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.
that's exactly what i'm thinking
i really gotta push through with the whole living together
Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄
click to expand
i already did but he just insists on more communication
told him we won't have this problem if we just lived together
no incessant texting or calling lol
Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.
This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.
that's exactly what i'm thinking
i really gotta push through with the whole living together
Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄
i already did but he just insists on more communication
told him we won't have this problem if we just lived together
no incessant texting or calling lol
click to expand
Then you'll fail to hear something he whispers into his chin, when you are frying the rice.
You'll fail to laugh at his joke...or do, but he isn't looking at you, so it doesn't count.
You'll fail to realise that he hasn't finished talking before you gave him an answer.
...................you silly, evil, ungrateful, "poor communicator" ! 😄
Compromise is the key here. If you can give him a few minutes a day on facetime chatting this might be better than utilitarian texts that get him in his feels.
This will be an entirely non-issue once you are living together. So its really about how do you both deal with it now until that point.
that's exactly what i'm thinking
i really gotta push through with the whole living together
Ah what....just ask him firstly about what he didn't like about you in person...expect to hear even more complaints 😄
i already did but he just insists on more communication
told him we won't have this problem if we just lived together
no incessant texting or calling lol
Then you'll fail to hear something he whispers into his chin, when you are frying the rice.
You'll fail to laugh at his joke...or do, but he isn't looking at you, so it doesn't count.
You'll fail to realise that he hasn't finished talking before you gave him an answer.
...................you silly, evil, ungrateful, "poor communicator" ! 😄
click to expand
*cries
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in a relationship with capricorn man?
i've come to terms with the fact that i'm like 300% a s h i t t y person to be in a relationship with
but i don't get it coz i've got a beautiful venus 11H
my communication sucksss so bad (as mentioned by cap) and i can feel his constant disappointment in this front
it's not that i'm not articulate but i'm an absolute utilitarian about it
and imagine how i feel about being a constant disappointment (not good)