solidarity with a virgo trying to understand a cap

y'all, help me put together this puzzle, please

i met a capricorn on new year's eve

i traveled to another country to spend days with her and a couple of friends in common. our friends left and we spent 12 days together without previously knowing each other. it was indeed great. sometimes she would get distant, but it's okay - i'd give her space. we really hit it off

when i came back home, we texted a lot, although i was the one initiating the most

somewhere along the way i felt she was not reciprocating and was distant, so i got insecure and vanished. she didn't initiated communication via whatsapp, but tried to engage with me via instagram. i ignored her because i thought she was playing me. fast forward a few days later, i realized my defense mechanism was activated and decided to text her explaining why i was distancing myself

she responded openly, saying that was thinking about me, that i closed off probably because she was closed off first, but that she really likes me and is missing me

so everything got great again and i suggested a video call, so we can talk properly

i shared the days i'm free, asked what days work for her, but she left me hanging for three days now

i'm getting insecure again, asking myself if i shouldn't have presented the days i'm off, as it might seem i'm not that available to her, and all that jazz. i also feel like i'm the one putting the most effort and don't know if she likes me as much as i like her ugh

what do y'all think? should i texted her again or wait her reply?

i really appreciate any insight

Sometimes a vacation fling is just that.

Having to schedule a time to chat is a bit of a departure from the carefree spur of the moment way you met and spent time.

At this point pull back and see if she is going to reach out. And if not no worries. You did ignore her in the past so there is that. Can’t be mad if she returns the favor.

Posted by Lionheart917

You will always be the one putting in the effort with CAP females. Ask yourself if that’s the type of relationship you want to be in.

sometimes it's difficult because i'm not sure if she really likes me or like the attention

if it's the former, okay

but the latter would be sad

Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes a vacation fling is just that.

Having to schedule a time to chat is a bit of a departure from the carefree spur of the moment way you met and spent time.

At this point pull back and see if she is going to reach out. And if not no worries. You did ignore her in the past so there is that. Can’t be mad if she returns the favor.

thank you for replying

i ended up texting her with something she would like

but it's getting to me the fact that i'm the one pursuing this and she's responding

i read that caps at the beginning are like this but idk

we're long distance as well, although i'm visiting in june

Posted by paranoidandroid

Posted by Lionheart917

You will always be the one putting in the effort with CAP females. Ask yourself if that’s the type of relationship you want to be in.

sometimes it's difficult because i'm not sure if she really likes me or like the attention

if it's the former, okay

but the latter would be sad

click to expand

I'm confused. She says she is interested and so do you. Both of you said to the other you intentionally closed yourself off and explained why. Then started talking and progressing after that discussion.

That all sounds like progress in developing your relationship.

Unless you have more info, or can clearly explain why you feel the different ways you do, I don't see what the problem is.

Lionheart's common asking what kind of relationship you want is on point.

What kind of chemistry is it, emotional, intellectual, love?

Expanding on all of that what she wants AND what you want in this.

Posted by Jan12girl
A Capricorn here. From the fact that she clearly said she likes you and is missing you , I think her lack of communication has more to do with inner guarded nature and insecurities that may dominate during initial stage of a probable relationship. Some of us are not in rush , we take things slow and are not sure if too much communication can make the other person feel suffocated .

thank you, i really appreciate your perspective

sometimes i feel insecure with her irresponsive ways, although she do reciprocate (as in saying she likes and misses me)

i tried to schedule a specific time for a call and she was elusive about it, which is fine. the ball is in her court now, no problem

she shared one of her accomplishments online and i congratulated her & said i admire her

she didn't replied my comment about admiring her. am i being too much?

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by paranoidandroid

Posted by Lionheart917

You will always be the one putting in the effort with CAP females. Ask yourself if that’s the type of relationship you want to be in.

sometimes it's difficult because i'm not sure if she really likes me or like the attention

if it's the former, okay

but the latter would be sad
click to expand

I'm confused. She says she is interested and so do you. Both of you said to the other you intentionally closed yourself off and explained why. Then started talking and progressing after that discussion.

That all sounds like progress in developing your relationship.

Unless you have more info, or can clearly explain why you feel the different ways you do, I don't see what the problem is.

Lionheart's common asking what kind of relationship you want is on point.

What kind of chemistry is it, emotional, intellectual, love?

Expanding on all of that what she wants AND what you want in this.

click to expand

thank you so much for you insight

the problem - aka confusion - is that she can be really elusive sometimes and i don't know where i stand with her, you know?

i tried to schedule a call in a specific time, but she didn't agree or disagree - so now i'm waiting for her move

i said i admire her and she didn't reply, so i feel i'm smothering her in some way

probably there's nothing wrong per se, but her reserved behavior throws me off sometimes

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by paranoidandroid

Posted by Lionheart917

You will always be the one putting in the effort with CAP females. Ask yourself if that’s the type of relationship you want to be in.

sometimes it's difficult because i'm not sure if she really likes me or like the attention

if it's the former, okay

but the latter would be sad
click to expand

I'm confused. She says she is interested and so do you. Both of you said to the other you intentionally closed yourself off and explained why. Then started talking and progressing after that discussion.

That all sounds like progress in developing your relationship.

Unless you have more info, or can clearly explain why you feel the different ways you do, I don't see what the problem is.

Lionheart's common asking what kind of relationship you want is on point.

What kind of chemistry is it, emotional, intellectual, love?

Expanding on all of that what she wants AND what you want in this.

click to expand

to answer your question, our compatibility is intellectual and, from my pov, emotional as well

we already had sex, but i guess we weren't that comfortable with each other yet

she's incredible, to me honest. really accomplished, intelligent, sweet but strong, humble, funny. i want her so bad

Posted by MonaLisa26
OOOOO

MYYYY

GOOOD!!!

You POSTED THE SAME WORDS BEFORE!

Spore ably she is finding you NOT funny and NOT intelligent and NOT awesome…

Or if she did - would she NOT want you—

Logic!!! Use your LOGIC!!!

hahah you're too crass for me to take you seriously

but thanks

Posted by Jan12girl

Posted by paranoidandroid

Posted by Jan12girl
A Capricorn here. From the fact that she clearly said she likes you and is missing you , I think her lack of communication has more to do with inner guarded nature and insecurities that may dominate during initial stage of a probable relationship. Some of us are not in rush , we take things slow and are not sure if too much communication can make the other person feel suffocated .

thank you, i really appreciate your perspective

sometimes i feel insecure with her irresponsive ways, although she do reciprocate (as in saying she likes and misses me)

i tried to schedule a specific time for a call and she was elusive about it, which is fine. the ball is in her court now, no problem

she shared one of her accomplishments online and i congratulated her & said i admire her

she didn't replied my comment about admiring her. am i being too much?
click to expand

Am I being too much

Yes and no. I said that some where else that a lot depends on the age, which has a lot to do with confidence and understanding of the other person. Sometimes people don’t reply when they want to hide the association. But she could also be sitting and reading your comment and smiling. Sometimes we are very very shy , specially when smitten. Totally depends on how she feels.

One thing I can say is that if she feels something and she is ready for it then she will make an effort even if it’s not right away.

If you are genuinely interested, I would say take a step back but don’t close the doors. And give it time . If it is going to turn into something then it may need time . I would say more but I don’t think all caps are same.

click to expand

she just got back to me LOL i'm totally overthinking this

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT

a question: how to keep a capricorn and how to make y'all open up?

Posted by paranoidandroid

Posted by LadyNeptune
Sometimes a vacation fling is just that.

Having to schedule a time to chat is a bit of a departure from the carefree spur of the moment way you met and spent time.

At this point pull back and see if she is going to reach out. And if not no worries. You did ignore her in the past so there is that. Can’t be mad if she returns the favor.

thank you for replying

i ended up texting her with something she would like

but it's getting to me the fact that i'm the one pursuing this and she's responding

i read that caps at the beginning are like this but idk

we're long distance as well, although i'm visiting in june

click to expand

The best way to approach this is keep your expectations non existent and don't reach out too often. Make tentative plans/make sure she knows you are visiting in June and would love to see her again. Once June comes around... if you are able to meet up with her and spend some quality time together then decide if you want to pursue something further. Make sure to discuss this with her IN PERSON so that you are both on the same page about what your mutual expectations are.

But in the meantime you should live your life as should she. A brief vaca encounter is not really enough time to fully invest yourself in someone who is long distance.

And presuming that some ones response time = interest level is silly. People have work, school, friends and family, lives outside of the person they are chatting with. Plus with the long distance thing I am guessing there is a time difference at play here which will make communication all the more difficult.

y'all we video chatted today it was perfect i.i

Posted by Midnite_Riser
The most boring couple ever..

you certainly don't know us lol

Posted by MonaLisa26

Posted by paranoidandroid

Posted by Midnite_Riser
The most boring couple ever..

you certainly don't know us lol
click to expand

YOU don’t know you! What is surprising that strangers don’t know you? So is it your fruit of imagination - chat with her OR we soon will have third post from series ‘She is awesome! I want her! What to do because she told me she is not interested?’

click to expand

WOMAN YOU ARE HILARIOUS

thanks for passing by