staying friends after a break up - capricorn m/scorpio f

Sooo to cut a long story short, we dated for some amazing 6 months ( a lot of texting, trips since we were LDR, spending an absolutely magical time whenever we were together) & he even went as far as asking if I'd like us to be exclusive. During the last month however we had both been dealing with quite a lot of stress which kinda brought out the worst in us and led to a lot of bickering and arguments, so after agreeing to get a week long break to just clear our heads, sort out our lives, relieve some of the stress, he decided out of the blue to call off the relationship (a lot of health, work, and family problems on my side, two big exams for him and an upcoming move after the break up).

He did say after the break up that he would like us to stay friends however, and after some more talking and going back and forth (we ended up discussing the break up for three weeks after the break up LOL), he told me he would just like us to go back to the way we were when weren't together and just be friends and chat about all the things we used to get excited about and share, hoping that after some time to cool off maybe he could regrow some feelings and when we met at the end of this summer (we're both going to a festival at the end of August) we could just see how things are then.

However since I was still pretty confused and hurt and just overall emotionally sensitive after the whole break up, and felt like there were a lot of things that both him and I had to process and think over, I told him that I think it's best we take a break for a while, let things cool off and move on with our lives. So fast forward two weeks, after going through all the emotions and getting some time to ponder over things by myself (it was already a month and a half since the actual break up) I decided that I valued the connection we had, and the ease and fun of the conversation more than necessarily having a relationship, so I decided to reach out to him.

I just sent him a plain message saying "boo" (that was our way of greeting each other usually), and two days later he replies saying he is confused, how he wasn't expecting to hear from me for a long time and he was getting a lot of bitter vibes, and that there's nothing more he has to say about the break up. I let him know that I didn't want to discuss the break up anymore either, but rather that I was just wondering how he's doing and that I'm ready to be friends and see where everything goes. So we talk that night and we have this really cute and fun and friendly chat just like during the old times, however I messaged him the next day about some song he recommended me and ever since what he basically does is: leave me on seen until midnight, sends like 10-15 texts then all at once (at really late hours when I'd never be up), I reply to him in the morning, sees my message in an hour most and then same thing all over. What is really frustrating is that I see him posting/commeting on fb/being online but he basically never replies.

This just leaves me feeling like he doesn't really want me around anymore and is rather just being nice to me, since even before being in a relationship our communication was very different from this? At the same time I know that the move in has kinda been stressing him out so I'm thinking that this withdrawal and avoidance may be his capricorn way of dealing with all the stress?

My question is if I should talk to him about it and make sure that we're both on the same page in terms of expectations or will that only push him away? cause with things going like this I'm just afraid that whatever there was left will basically die out in a few weeks and all we'll be left is just more distance and bitterness

Posted by Gobby

It sounds like your Scorpio bits are getting too overbearing for the Cap, regardless of the context of the relationship, hence why he'd much prefer (for now) to keep his word but contact you when you're less able to engage with him in real-time.

When Scorpios don't get their way, especially concerning matters of the heart, you lot can be a royal pain to deal with (and that's setting aside any form of manipulation)...

But can we agree, that it's not a nice move on his part to ask for friendship and to just be like they used to and then when she gives it to him, he's the one to not want it and fucks it up, keeping his promis but also sorta being a dick?

That's way more frustration to deal with, because now she doesn't know where she stands with him. At least she is honest and try to keep it clear at all times.

Different needs for these two, I guess.

Posted by starlord

Posted by Gobby

It sounds like your Scorpio bits are getting too overbearing for the Cap, regardless of the context of the relationship, hence why he'd much prefer (for now) to keep his word but contact you when you're less able to engage with him in real-time.

When Scorpios don't get their way, especially concerning matters of the heart, you lot can be a royal pain to deal with (and that's setting aside any form of manipulation)...

But can we agree, that it's not a nice move on his part to ask for friendship and to just be like they used to and then when she gives it to him, he's the one to not want it and fucks it up, keeping his promis but also sorta being a dick?

That's way more frustration to deal with, because now she doesn't know where she stands with him. At least she is honest and try to keep it clear at all times.

Different needs for these two, I guess.

click to expand

Yeah this is why I honestly thought that I'll just bring it up with him and not confront him or anything but rather tell him that I'd like us to be clear about how much we are expecting/willing to offer so that we know we're on the same page, otherwise from previous experience it will all just turn into a bitter mess in two-three weeks and I'd rather just not let it get there

Posted by Gobby

It sounds like your Scorpio bits are getting too overbearing for the Cap, regardless of the context of the relationship, hence why he'd much prefer (for now) to keep his word but contact you when you're less able to engage with him in real-time.

When Scorpios don't get their way, especially concerning matters of the heart, you lot can be a royal pain to deal with (and that's setting aside any form of manipulation)...

do not paint us all with a wide brush. I'm the Scorpio woman who trails off and disappears into my own life and hobbies. I have no time to chase anyone. I'm all about self. even my husband has to bring me back from self time every now and then. you have to remind me other ppl exist. I'm not tuned into others. cant be a pain if I'm always off doing my own thing.

Posted by maria2876

Posted by starlord

Posted by Gobby

It sounds like your Scorpio bits are getting too overbearing for the Cap, regardless of the context of the relationship, hence why he'd much prefer (for now) to keep his word but contact you when you're less able to engage with him in real-time.

When Scorpios don't get their way, especially concerning matters of the heart, you lot can be a royal pain to deal with (and that's setting aside any form of manipulation)...

But can we agree, that it's not a nice move on his part to ask for friendship and to just be like they used to and then when she gives it to him, he's the one to not want it and fucks it up, keeping his promis but also sorta being a dick?

That's way more frustration to deal with, because now she doesn't know where she stands with him. At least she is honest and try to keep it clear at all times.

Different needs for these two, I guess.

Yeah this is why I honestly thought that I'll just bring it up with him and not confront him or anything but rather tell him that I'd like us to be clear about how much we are expecting/willing to offer so that we know we're on the same page, otherwise from previous experience it will all just turn into a bitter mess in two-three weeks and I'd rather just not let it get there

click to expand

It's a shitry move on his part. Plain and simple. I hate it when people make me feel like, it's almost a chore to answer me or that I am annoying to them, especially when they are the ones to suggest friendship. Then be a friend!

But it's probably due to the two of you having different needs. I think maybe... For your own sake, you can voicw how you feel. But I think he's probably gonna find it annoying either way, because he is now closed off emotionally and so every kind of dealings with emotions, even some like this, is not what he wants. But possibly I am totally wrong. Either way take care of yourself and do what you feel like.

Posted by Caplove

Maybe he's just not ready to be friends yet, op? You did say that you both agreed to take a break and it's only been a few weeks. I'm thinking he's not there, explains his surprised reaction and the delayed responses. Perhaps he wants more time to get rid of the feels. 2 weeks, even a month or two isn't very long, but that's just me.

Yeah this is too rationel and functional for the kind of guy that guy seems to be right now. If that was the case, he would hve probably just communicated that, instead of saying one thing and doing another.

But that's just me being jaded 😂