Libra North Node and Chiron in the 12th House

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

People should just live and let experiences help them grow. If your detachment is something you see a problem with, start working on that.

You should never look at an astrology placement and assume you will feel a karmic curse your entire life. Have you considered therapy?

Posted by black773

People should just live and let experiences help them grow. If your detachment is something you see a problem with, start working on that.

You should never look at an astrology placement and assume you will feel a karmic curse your entire life. Have you considered therapy?

yeah been in therapy the last few years. and working through shadow stuff

Posted by themilkyway36

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

What do you want from others? A big part of the high functioning Libra archetype is mutuality.

And don't say nothing because if that was true, this wouldn't bother you.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by themilkyway36

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

What do you want from others? A big part of the high functioning Libra archetype is mutuality.

And don't say nothing because if that was true, this wouldn't bother you.

click to expand

Yeah I have 3 Libra placements and I disagree that Libra opting for mutuality is “high functioning”.

A high functioning Libra should be able to stand on his or her own, even with someone else. No one should aspire to be dependent. It is possible to do things on your own and enjoy achieving them on your own. Perhaps the OP should learn to love doing things independently. I just don’t find mutuality helping loneliness.

Posted by black773

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by themilkyway36

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

What do you want from others? A big part of the high functioning Libra archetype is mutuality.

And don't say nothing because if that was true, this wouldn't bother you.

Yeah I have 3 Libra placements and I disagree that Libra opting for mutuality is “high functioning”.

A high functioning Libra should be able to stand on his or her own, even with someone else. No one should aspire to be dependent. It is possible to do things on your own and enjoy achieving them on your own. Perhaps the OP should learn to love doing things independently. I just don’t find mutuality helping loneliness.

click to expand

Pretend I am fully aware of all of that and reread what I said. You know what never mind it's like this:

For the most part relationships are a give and take ie. "Mutuality". Yes you can give your EXTRA "insert anything" without expectations but that is a off topic atm.

Now establishing a healthy relationship involves understanding the others needs and desires and your own. Respecting this, is what "boundaries" actually are at it's core.

What the op describes are common with people who have been jaded by bad experiences or have trouble establishing relationships with others. OP doesn't have a "take it or leave it" attitude rather OP feels different and notices the difference and feels a since of "lose" ie. Loneliness. You don't feel this way about something you don't actually care about. Whether you are conscious of this desire or not doesn't matter, OP is feeling it and it is having a effect.

The OP isn't lacking independence. Rather feeling the lack healthy experiences with others, mutuality. By not speaking his mind out of fear of rejection, conflict, and being avoidant he will not naturally attract compatible people and be given what he desires from others.

Basically if you want to buy a bike, you have to ask for one, find someone selling one or a way for them to find you. A closeout doesn't get fed. If your already suffering what do you have to lose by opening your mouth vs. Gain by putting it out there. The other party doesn't have to agree or have things exactly your way. But you will never know until you try.

Posted by ImperfectStorm

I have Venus, Jupiter and Saturn all in my 12th house. I didn’t experience my first real relationship until I was 28, met my sons dad and we were together for over a decade. Still have a lot of issues im working through and like you said, typically turn to spirituality for solace.

The good news is, you are aware of these placements now and how they might affect you. I didn’t start really digging in my natal birth chart until this year. Before that, I was using astrology to better understand other people (my ex) when I should have been trying to understand myself.

that's a lot of 12th house placements - a lot of my inner planets are actually in the 3rd house but I find a lot of that 3rd house energy has been internalized my whole life. I guess I should find a way to express it healthily

Posted by Sagoxa

I'm a bit different approaching NN. I'm more into vedic when it comes to this one.

The thing about NN or in vedic they call it rahu, it's a dragon's head without its body. So you will greedily try to consume hoping it'll bring you fullfilment but you will never feel full.. rahu is obsession and indulgence while ketu is satisfaction (full stomach, lazy to do anything more).

With rahu in ur 12th and ketu in ur 6th, means that spirituality, isolation and living inside your head is what you're obsessed about and craving for and yet practicality is something that you're detached from.

You need to balance these 2 out.. balancing spirituality with practicality. Seeing that 12th house is something that you're already familiar with, you just need to add more of 6th house elements to be balanced. Like, working on routines, exercising/working out, farming, act of service etc.. since your ketu is aries i suggest more of a mars energy..

Btw, are you a libra rising or scorpio?

Oh yeah I had the 6th house side under my wing very naturally and effortlessly growing up until my young adulthood, surprisingly (maybe that's normal for exhibiting SN traits in the first part of life naturally since it comes from past life?) Then when I fell into an existential crisis I turned to my NN 12th and started neglecting the 6th. I guess I am somewhat detached from the 6th, although I've been trying to implement better routines for my overall wellness and health in the last year. That's helped tremendously. You're right balance is key...easier said than done

I'm a scorpio rising but libra in sidereal astrology

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by themilkyway36

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

What do you want from others? A big part of the high functioning Libra archetype is mutuality.

And don't say nothing because if that was true, this wouldn't bother you.

click to expand

That is true. Good question though....I don't really know anymore.... I've always enjoyed people for the company and doing activities together, and when I do have deep and satisfying conversations with someone. I find myself craving attention and validation on a subconscious level from others, but on the surface I act like I am independent and don't need that. I crave meaningful and deep soul connections. I get disappointed when I try to obtain that and i don't get the reception. I've always wished to find someone that will "complete" me somehow, but I don't think that's a belief that holds healthy or true anymore. Not until I find and establish myself completely maybe. It's a weird inner conflict inside where i think i fear both being alone (though I definitely am more comfortable being alone except times where it feels so heavy like a burden I can't get myself out of) but at the same time fear losing myself in someone else/getting sucked into codependency.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by black773

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by themilkyway36

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

What do you want from others? A big part of the high functioning Libra archetype is mutuality.

And don't say nothing because if that was true, this wouldn't bother you.

Yeah I have 3 Libra placements and I disagree that Libra opting for mutuality is “high functioning”.

A high functioning Libra should be able to stand on his or her own, even with someone else. No one should aspire to be dependent. It is possible to do things on your own and enjoy achieving them on your own. Perhaps the OP should learn to love doing things independently. I just don’t find mutuality helping loneliness.

Pretend I am fully aware of all of that and reread what I said. You know what never mind it's like this:

For the most part relationships are a give and take ie. "Mutuality". Yes you can give your EXTRA "insert anything" without expectations but that is a off topic atm.

Now establishing a healthy relationship involves understanding the others needs and desires and your own. Respecting this, is what "boundaries" actually are at it's core.

What the op describes are common with people who have been jaded by bad experiences or have trouble establishing relationships with others. OP doesn't have a "take it or leave it" attitude rather OP feels different and notices the difference and feels a since of "lose" ie. Loneliness. You don't feel this way about something you don't actually care about. Whether you are conscious of this desire or not doesn't matter, OP is feeling it and it is having a effect.

The OP isn't lacking independence. Rather feeling the lack healthy experiences with others, mutuality. By not speaking his mind out of fear of rejection, conflict, and being avoidant he will not naturally attract compatible people and be given what he desires from others.

Basically if you want to buy a bike, you have to ask for one, find someone selling one or a way for them to find you. A closeout doesn't get fed. If your already suffering what do you have to lose by opening your mouth vs. Gain by putting it out there. The other party doesn't have to agree or have things exactly your way. But you will never know until you try.

click to expand

yep I never had a proper relationship with my parents/family growing up - it was all on a very practical/functional dynamic. I think I have a belief deep down that people will always leave somehow. You're right about the having to ask for what you want - I gotta figure that out. I feel like I have so many fears and wounds tied up in relationships that it will take me a while to work through. Maybe I gotta learn a healthy selfish/selfless balance..I'm afraid of people taking too much from me and having nothing to give back - yet I've been at both ends of that stick. It's interesting bc I do find myself super drawn to learning all about relationships through watching and analyzing other people/celebrities/influencers, watching videos/reading books and basically filling myself up with info. I have to admit all the info is just theory and not looking at what is inside me that immediately needs attention is crucial

Posted by Sagoxa

Watch this:

Yep relate to everything he said... except for my Leo MC makes me want a professional success that puts me in the spotlight and shows my talents off. But if I make a lot of money behind the scenes I'm good with that too.

I was always obsessively intrigued by forensics/criminals/serial killers in my younger years, read all about them. Considered briefly working in a detention center before. My deepest dark thoughts match the criminal attitude but thankfully my upbringing makes me want to live a good life.

Posted by themilkyway36

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by black773

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by themilkyway36

I've been thinking of this placement in my chart over the last year and been experiencing some heavy aspects of it.

On a personal level, it feels like this deeply internalized wound surrounding people and relationships. Being afraid of relational conflict/attachment issues, too much tying up own self-worth with relationships, a lot of relationship karma and external mirroring of my own wounds, never feeling like the relationships I have are enough, feeling a deep sense of spiritual/emotional/mental loneliness. Some of this could be from other areas of my chart too but I've felt these things my entire life. I have a deep fear of ending up alone, that's something I've feared since I was a young child - perhaps it's some past life trauma of being abandoned or something. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship yet, I've had commitment and intimacy/vulnerability issues that I've been forced to look at in the last year, and sometimes it feels hopeless like all this work is just going to lead me to somewhere that will end up disappointing me in the end. I feel so emotionally detached from most people, I have no more emotional care left about my family, I experience detachment issues with friends and in dating - it's hard to feel emotionally connected to anything or anyone. If I do it's once in a blue moon and then it goes away.

Anyone else have experience or knowledge with this placement? It's interesting because Justin Bieber has these placements too and I noticed how he is trapped in feeling lonely and turning to spirituality for solace, which I've done the same in. Death/feeling done with life crosses my mind way too often in a casual manner. I searched up how to become a monk the other week lol. I have frequent thoughts of wanting to leave everyone in my life behind and live as a hermit, especially when things feel difficult or nothing is satisfying me. I don't feel like I belong in the physical world...like my head is always in a different place and the physical realities of this life are so tiring to deal with. I might have been experiencing burnout the last few years because I went from being someone on top of things and trying really hard in everything I did.

Are these placements a karmic curse I'm going to feel my entire life?

What do you want from others? A big part of the high functioning Libra archetype is mutuality.

And don't say nothing because if that was true, this wouldn't bother you.

Yeah I have 3 Libra placements and I disagree that Libra opting for mutuality is “high functioning”.

A high functioning Libra should be able to stand on his or her own, even with someone else. No one should aspire to be dependent. It is possible to do things on your own and enjoy achieving them on your own. Perhaps the OP should learn to love doing things independently. I just don’t find mutuality helping loneliness.

Pretend I am fully aware of all of that and reread what I said. You know what never mind it's like this:

For the most part relationships are a give and take ie. "Mutuality". Yes you can give your EXTRA "insert anything" without expectations but that is a off topic atm.

Now establishing a healthy relationship involves understanding the others needs and desires and your own. Respecting this, is what "boundaries" actually are at it's core.

What the op describes are common with people who have been jaded by bad experiences or have trouble establishing relationships with others. OP doesn't have a "take it or leave it" attitude rather OP feels different and notices the difference and feels a since of "lose" ie. Loneliness. You don't feel this way about something you don't actually care about. Whether you are conscious of this desire or not doesn't matter, OP is feeling it and it is having a effect.

The OP isn't lacking independence. Rather feeling the lack healthy experiences with others, mutuality. By not speaking his mind out of fear of rejection, conflict, and being avoidant he will not naturally attract compatible people and be given what he desires from others.

Basically if you want to buy a bike, you have to ask for one, find someone selling one or a way for them to find you. A closeout doesn't get fed. If your already suffering what do you have to lose by opening your mouth vs. Gain by putting it out there. The other party doesn't have to agree or have things exactly your way. But you will never know until you try.

yep I never had a proper relationship with my parents/family growing up - it was all on a very practical/functional dynamic. I think I have a belief deep down that people will always leave somehow. You're right about the having to ask for what you want - I gotta figure that out. I feel like I have so many fears and wounds tied up in relationships that it will take me a while to work through. Maybe I gotta learn a healthy selfish/selfless balance..I'm afraid of people taking too much from me and having nothing to give back - yet I've been at both ends of that stick. It's interesting bc I do find myself super drawn to learning all about relationships through watching and analyzing other people/celebrities/influencers, watching videos/reading books and basically filling myself up with info. I have to admit all the info is just theory and not looking at what is inside me that immediately needs attention is crucial

click to expand

receiving input from 99% Influencers and celebrities is a really bad idea.

You only see a snap shot of what they have going on behind the curtain. Even then that snap shot is handpicked and interpited by someone else with a motive and bias. Further corrupting the input.

It's like Facebook. You see only what they choose to show you. Can't count how many happy family pictures people post but their nothing like that and shit is a train wreck behind closed doors.

That 1% that is honest and healthy, you rarely hear or see the struggles and challenges they overcame to get that result. The road. Traveled is just as important as the destination. The process.

Books, videos and etc are great sources of info. I strongly recommend a book myself. It's call "Models"

No gimmicks or tricks.

It teaches things in a way anyone can adopt to fit their own personality and uniqueness.

Just don't get stuck in the indirect learning phase(academic).

I'll use myself as a example for this. Last 3 years I've been stuck there. Just Learning and researching every single day. At this point at least 1k hours. I'm just floating on a ocean of psychology, sociology, and spirituality concepts and practices. It's my hobby and passion. Always has been though. So it's easy for me.

Yet I rarely use it myself. Rather doggy patting around and ocean of knowledge and getting no where. Because I rarely practice and incorporate much of it. Because like you ATM, I fear failure and conflict still. Opening my mouth and putting myself out there.

At this point I do know and understand myself. Yet I've done very little to change what I need to change. I keep making the same mistakes over and over again hurting myself. Since I do know better, it is my fault, it's on me. I'm doing it to myself by not actually trying.

Knowledge and wisdom is useless if you don't actually use it🤦

Continue your self reflection and getting to know and understand yourself. Meditational practices do work. The catch is it's got to be a serious habit and practice. It's like building a muscle it takes time and energy to get stronger. And just like working out you have to do it whether you want to or not to grow it and maintain the habit. Otherwise it will only develop so far. This is awareness takes time to develop and ones "self" constantly changes whether people realize it or not. So this process never actually ends yet the benefits don't either. The time is well worth the investment. There are are many style s not just sitting quietly too. The early stages are about being by yourself and learning yourself without distractions in order to build the habit of being able to observe yourself on a conscious level. That is what Self-awareness is.

After a while you will be able to catch your own bullshit and do things differently. Change yourself and your life. I did this and honestly I half-assed this. Yet I absolutely recognize the I'm much better for it. I regret not taking it more seriously now.

Saying what you said about yourself shows you have already started this process of serious self inquiry. Doing this is a excellent start and will absolutely help with the issues you are having with yourself and dealing with others. Learn meditation and develop yourself inside and then practice it on the outside in your life. They are actually equally important, don't live just in your head and use it as a coping mechanism. You still got to make those changes outside too. They go hand and hand 100% . Go back and worth like a seesaw until it becomes a permanent habit you don't have to do consciously.

Posted by Sagoxa

I'm a bit different approaching NN. I'm more into vedic when it comes to this one.

The thing about NN or in vedic they call it rahu, it's a dragon's head without its body. So you will greedily try to consume hoping it'll bring you fullfilment but you will never feel full.. rahu is obsession and indulgence while ketu is satisfaction (full stomach, lazy to do anything more).

With rahu in ur 12th and ketu in ur 6th, means that spirituality, isolation and living inside your head is what you're obsessed about and craving for and yet practicality is something that you're detached from.

You need to balance these 2 out.. balancing spirituality with practicality. Seeing that 12th house is something that you're already familiar with, you just need to add more of 6th house elements to be balanced. Like, working on routines, exercising/working out, farming, act of service etc.. since your ketu is aries i suggest more of a mars energy..

Btw, are you a libra rising or scorpio?

If ya dont mind can you give me just a quick run down on what vedic astrology is? Of course I could google it but Id rather hear your take

@lostthoughts

It won't let me type more characters into your reply so just making a new comment here. Yeah I know, about celebrities most of them never seem to have their shit together - it's just fun to observe and interpret others for me.

I relate so much to you on the constant information gathering as a passion (with all the topics you listed) but hardly making real changes in real life. I've recently actually had to come to terms with this, after realizing how far of a gap my knowledge/conceptual ideas and actual real life accountability are from each other...it's definitely a coping mechanism so we feel like we have the answers there with us. That's not to say the knowledge stored in the brain won't come into future good use when we are ready though. I feel like spiritually, it's hard to force ourselves to grow when we're just genuinely not ready yet. There seems to always be personal steps or things to unravel inside of ourselves before we can get to the next place. Perhaps we could and could stretch ourselves if a catalyst really creates force for that. I think personally I always need some sort of catalyst where my own strong emotional reaction to that drives me to act - otherwise it's so easy to remain stuck on our usual habits. I'm trying to accept the place I am in life as a person at this moment, even though it is difficult for me because I've always had high expectations of myself. Perfectionism mindset is crippling though...i feel that's why I've also felt 'stuck' the last few years. Perhaps you can relate to that being a factor behind the lack of action. I'm a bit of an extreme fixed person and i found that it often takes a breaking point for me to be forced to really look at blind spots i wasn't seeing before, and to make changes.

An example would be, me having my anxious attachment triggered like crazy by a guy i fell for, getting hurt by letting myself remain in an emotionally unavailable situation and then made to question my own commitment and intimacy issues more head on. All the emotional roller coasters that were brought up really highlighted my own lack of self-love and worth...which made me work harder to give that to myself. So i did thank the universe for bringing that person into my life to teach me the lesson. I see everything in life as a test and reflection to ourselves.

Thanks so much for the advice and insight. I love meditation. My trouble is being consistent with it - I always tell myself I need to get better at it but I don't lol. But gonna try to make it a routine again. I agree with the practice helping so much. In times where I was consistent with it, because I was in desperate need of something to lean on and make me feel better, it helped with anxiety and mental clarity a lot. Love the seesaw analogy. It is this back and forth thing of adjusting everything. What kind of benefits have you noticed with your meditation practice?

Posted by themilkyway36

@lostthoughts

It won't let me type more characters into your reply so just making a new comment here. Yeah I know, about celebrities most of them never seem to have their shit together - it's just fun to observe and interpret others for me.

I relate so much to you on the constant information gathering as a passion (with all the topics you listed) but hardly making real changes in real life. I've recently actually had to come to terms with this, after realizing how far of a gap my knowledge/conceptual ideas and actual real life accountability are from each other...it's definitely a coping mechanism so we feel like we have the answers there with us. That's not to say the knowledge stored in the brain won't come into future good use when we are ready though. I feel like spiritually, it's hard to force ourselves to grow when we're just genuinely not ready yet. There seems to always be personal steps or things to unravel inside of ourselves before we can get to the next place. Perhaps we could and could stretch ourselves if a catalyst really creates force for that. I think personally I always need some sort of catalyst where my own strong emotional reaction to that drives me to act - otherwise it's so easy to remain stuck on our usual habits. I'm trying to accept the place I am in life as a person at this moment, even though it is difficult for me because I've always had high expectations of myself. Perfectionism mindset is crippling though...i feel that's why I've also felt 'stuck' the last few years. Perhaps you can relate to that being a factor behind the lack of action. I'm a bit of an extreme fixed person and i found that it often takes a breaking point for me to be forced to really look at blind spots i wasn't seeing before, and to make changes.

An example would be, me having my anxious attachment triggered like crazy by a guy i fell for, getting hurt by letting myself remain in an emotionally unavailable situation and then made to question my own commitment and intimacy issues more head on. All the emotional roller coasters that were brought up really highlighted my own lack of self-love and worth...which made me work harder to give that to myself. So i did thank the universe for bringing that person into my life to teach me the lesson. I see everything in life as a test and reflection to ourselves.

Thanks so much for the advice and insight. I love meditation. My trouble is being consistent with it - I always tell myself I need to get better at it but I don't lol. But gonna try to make it a routine again. I agree with the practice helping so much. In times where I was consistent with it, because I was in desperate need of something to lean on and make me feel better, it helped with anxiety and mental clarity a lot. Love the seesaw analogy. It is this back and forth thing of adjusting everything. What kind of benefits have you noticed with your meditation practice?

"I relate so much to you on the constant information gathering as a passion (with all the topics you listed) but hardly making real changes in real life. I've recently actually had to come to terms with this, after realizing how far of a gap my knowledge/conceptual ideas and actual real life accountability are from each other...it's definitely a coping mechanism so we feel like we have the answers there with us. That's not to say the knowledge stored in the brain won't come into future good use when we are ready though. I feel like spiritually, it's hard to force ourselves to grow when we're just genuinely not ready yet. There seems to always be personal steps or things to unravel inside of ourselves before we can get to the next place. Perhaps we could and could stretch ourselves if a catalyst really creates force for that. I think personally I always need some sort of catalyst where my own strong emotional reaction to that drives me to act - otherwise it's so easy to remain stuck on our usual habits. I'm trying to accept the place I am in life as a person at this moment, even though it is difficult for me because I've always had high expectations of myself. Perfectionism mindset is crippling though...i"

Ya this me too. Almost exact wording.

However, the truth is Saying we are not ready is us lieing to ourselves though. We don't actually need a catalyst either because we already know better.

Just afraid to raise to the challenge do the universe gives us a nice swift kick in the butt as a reminder every time we get complacent lol

Lets go even deeper. If we were actually happy and doing what we were meant to do, as in, being in alignment with ourselves, would we be questioning, suffering, and seeking more then what's going on in our lives and within ourselves right now?

And I know this to be true as well. A made a list last night. 2 items. Today I procrastinated getting up but I didn't take it out on myself just focused and got moving. I ended up achieving everything I needed to do today. Did a big thing that needed doing right off the bat. It didn't ho as planned but I got it done. I almost immediately starred feeling good afterwards. Then I treated myself and went off to the next task and got that done too. It's like a weight is gone and I'm riding on a mini high. All I can think about is what is next as I write this. There was more then a few times I stopped and got distracted but I remembered why I want to do these things and refocused. Things did not go well at all for the last task either btw but I shrugged it off found a solution and just got it done.