jana33
@jana33
5 YearsCancer
Comments: 0 · Posts: 15 · Topics: 1
Posted by Fanta
Something happened at this point...
"3 months in I was going through some stuff too, and I had bad situation with my job and I started to worry about my future,
I wasnt sure what to do next and started to talk to him about it, the cancer in me was looking for comfort I guess,
He felt overwhelmed and said he want to take things slow and he doesnt want to be stressed or pressured."
I don't want to guess what, because it would literally be guessing. Did you do something different than you'd previously done at this point? Was there an argument? Maybe things just got real for him at that point.
Posted by Generous_Libra
He was married for 10 years and obviously didn't end well, he was stuck and now he's free he doesn't want anything to hold him back especially emotional reactions from other people.
Your intentions probably don't match right now, you do want to settle down eventually, he did that before I don't think he's gonna do it again any soon. It's hard for Geminis to commit again especially after a failed marriage.
I really don't think he's gonna give you what you want, don't try to pin him down, not fair for both of you.
Good luck.
Posted by Aquarelle
Sorry to say but i think you were a nice distraction for him.....Ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship with someone who you struggle to understand and doesn't want to go on a date with you.
You put pressure on him while he told you not to and that's probably what alienated him from you. He knows he is not ready for something new, but you seem to have trouble understanding it.
Posted by FantaPosted by jana33Posted by Generous_Libra
He was married for 10 years and obviously didn't end well, he was stuck and now he's free he doesn't want anything to hold him back especially emotional reactions from other people.
Your intentions probably don't match right now, you do want to settle down eventually, he did that before I don't think he's gonna do it again any soon. It's hard for Geminis to commit again especially after a failed marriage.
I really don't think he's gonna give you what you want, don't try to pin him down, not fair for both of you.
Good luck.
Thats what he was telling me, he always said 'I dont want any stress in my life, I had too much of it in my marriage, I want harmony and balance, lets take things slow, I want something serious and stable but without any pressure and expectations'
Now I understand how to handle him, but seems its to late 😢
I stopped msging him 4 days ago and going to leave it until he wants to reach out.
He doesn't know what he wants. You can't have "serious and stable" without "pressure and expectations." He needs time to figure it out.click to expand
Posted by FantaPosted by jana33Posted by FantaPosted by jana33Posted by Generous_Libra
He was married for 10 years and obviously didn't end well, he was stuck and now he's free he doesn't want anything to hold him back especially emotional reactions from other people.
Your intentions probably don't match right now, you do want to settle down eventually, he did that before I don't think he's gonna do it again any soon. It's hard for Geminis to commit again especially after a failed marriage.
I really don't think he's gonna give you what you want, don't try to pin him down, not fair for both of you.
Good luck.
Thats what he was telling me, he always said 'I dont want any stress in my life, I had too much of it in my marriage, I want harmony and balance, lets take things slow, I want something serious and stable but without any pressure and expectations'
Now I understand how to handle him, but seems its to late 😢
I stopped msging him 4 days ago and going to leave it until he wants to reach out.
He doesn't know what he wants. You can't have "serious and stable" without "pressure and expectations." He needs time to figure it out.
Yea it looks like hes not sure what he wants, first he was saying he wants stable and serious, now he needs to rearrange his life...
He just got out of a 10-year marriage. That's probably going to take him longer to deal with than he thought it wouldclick to expand
Posted by Generous_LibraPosted by jana33Posted by Generous_Libra
He was married for 10 years and obviously didn't end well, he was stuck and now he's free he doesn't want anything to hold him back especially emotional reactions from other people.
Your intentions probably don't match right now, you do want to settle down eventually, he did that before I don't think he's gonna do it again any soon. It's hard for Geminis to commit again especially after a failed marriage.
I really don't think he's gonna give you what you want, don't try to pin him down, not fair for both of you.
Good luck.
Thats what he was telling me, he always said 'I dont want any stress in my life, I had too much of it in my marriage, I want harmony and balance, lets take things slow, I want something serious and stable but without any pressure and expectations'
Now I understand how to handle him, but seems its to late 😢
I stopped msging him 4 days ago and going to leave it until he wants to reach out.
I don't think it's too late but rather not what is best for you, you want emotional support, he seems to be detached although he has a lot of water in his chart. If he ever comes back ( I think he will ) try to build a better mental connection with him, instead of seeking an emotional one.click to expand

Posted by halalbaePosted by jana33
Update.
After 2 weeks of silence he contacted me last night at 10pm. Asked how Im doing, I noticed he changed his profile pic to beautiful mountain view. He messaged me to tell me he is on holiday in this beautiful place in the mountains (most likely with his kids but I dont know as I didnt ask). I kept it short and polite and there was no conversation.... he said where he is, sent a wink and ghosted. 👻
What a boring exchange! Id ghost him lolclick to expand


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He is: Gemini Sun, Scorpio Moon, Libra Rising, Venus Taurus, Mars and Mercury in Cancer (46 years old)
HI guys,
I met my Gemini last year, he was going through some stuff with his ex (10 years together, 2 kids), he ended it and left 2 years ago as she cheated, they focus on kids now,
we connected fast, we talked for hours, had a lot of fun, we are both adventurous, he opened up to me a lot about his most private matters,
I wasnt sure about him but he was really pursing me, he was looking for stability and someone serious to be happy with, he was reassuring me a lot about that,
He was very invested, spent all his free time with me, always informing me about what hes doing, sending me tons of photos, even with his kids,
wanted to know everything about me, even visited me in a different country while I was away for work, flowers, gifts, etc.
He made plans with me for trips away and wanted me to meet his closest friends. It was great.
3 months in I was going through some stuff too, and I had bad situation with my job and I started to worry about my future,
I wasnt sure what to do next and started to talk to him about it, the cancer in me was looking for comfort I guess,
He felt overwhelmed and said he want to take things slow and he doesnt want to be stressed or pressured.
He was very supportive and patient, we had long conversations about it, gave me good advice,
he said that he just doesnt want to rush into anything just yet because we are getting to know each other (we talked about living together)
and that I have to be happy first with my life to be with him (which I understand) But at the time I wasnt reading about signs
and I didnt know how to understand him and his logic. I felt rejected and started pressuring him emotionally questioning his intentions towards me.
He completely back off and cut off connection after being in day to day , very close intimate contact for over 3 months, I was shocked.
But I stayed strong and gave him space, he said he feels confused and I seem to complicated for him (once I want to take it easy and then I talk about living together)
Its been almost 3 months of no contact now. I decided to reconnect to save this.
Its been hard as he was cold and distant, but I expressed my regret of how things ended in a very logical way, said I want to understand him and start over.
He said hes open to talk... since then the communication is on and off, most of the time I am initiating it. Hes reacting well when I talk to him about news topics and share information, or ask him for advice and opinion, but once I try to flirt or get more private hes overrating or shutting down.
Its been 3 weeks and we spoke only few times (only via chat) , I proposed a meeting (sushi together) but he ignored the question and changed the subject.
I feel there is a small progress but I struggle to understand him and his actions, he used to be so clear with me and devoted and loving, now feels like a stranger..
What is the best way I can approach this, I know it can be difficult but I care about this connection and want to give it best chance.
Thanks