Yes mine defined after around 3 months of seeing each other, although not to me personally. He told close friends we were now an item and that he was in love with me.There was a distinct change in his behaviour too, he became a lot more touch feely and wanted to be around me a lot more.
"That actually sounds like me lol When I was first dating my boyfriend, after about 3 or so months, he was talking and paused, and said "You know, I've never actually heard you say you like me!"
LOL! Exactly!! I don't blame him for saying that, I'd like to say the same thing to my aqua! But time and time again... I bite my tongue!
So how did he ever know you were his girlfriend—
My aqua and I do all the things that would indicate that we're dating, but he's never actually proclaimed me as his girlfriend, or even the girl he's seeing....
"i mean have you had a discussion about not sleeping with other people? or are you afraid to have that discussion too?"
We had that discussion a few months ago....It wasn't an emotional conversation so I went for it, but more importantly it concerned the safety of both of us, so I needed to know...
That's the closest we have gotten to a relationship talk... all I have to go on is the fact that we seem like a couple....lol
Honestly I can tell anyone anything and not truly mean it. Its very easy to lie to appease someone anxiousness. SO when I actually say something, since I never usually do, I know that people understand I mean it. My word is bond.
"just ask. you have every right to know. what are you afraid of?"
...because asking seems to go against everything I've learned about dealing with an aqua.
If he doesn't feel ready to define the relationship at this point, and I ask him to, then I'm afraid I run the risk of scaring him away and losing what we have now...
That's why I'm curious as to whether anyone here has experienced their aqua defining the relationship....if I continue this patience thing, perhaps it will pay off in the form of him proclaiming me as his girlfriend...
"WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE HAD YOU NOT THOUGHT OF ASTROLOGY, AQUARIUS, MEN, ETC.
What point in your relationship would you be in?"
Exact same point....
I'm way too afraid to put myself out there...
my last BF and I were together for three years at not one of us told the other that we loved eachother...
Stubborn I guess...and when we broke up he even brought up the fact that I never told him I love him.... said he thought it was weird... but I can't help it.
I dont think they see astrology as the root problem, its an explanation as to why a person may have certain issues or positive points.
Im sure astrology has done us all some good in understanding people and some bad.
If she feels the need to ask, etc....its all up to her n the end. There isnt anything wrong with the relationship from what I can see, but people are never content with what they have. We have always need and want more.
"Stubborn I guess...and when we broke up he even brought up the fact that I never told him I love him.... said he thought it was weird... but I can't help it.
I won't expose myself like that."
Then you had the same issues an aqua...but your not an aqua are you 🙂 So astrology helps and hinders. Its not the same for everyone...we're all different and yet all the same...life. 🙂
You can also take the point of view as: Its nice to see someone taking the time to truly GET/understand the one they like. If we all were so lucky to find a partner willing to do this maybe there would be drama and longer lasting relationships.
"Then you had the same issues an aqua...but your not an aqua are you So astrology helps and hinders. Its not the same for everyone...we're all different and yet all the same...life."
I'm not an Aqua! 🙂 But I 'get' them... thanks to you guys! 😉
My Ex was a Sag as well... we both didnt' want to move things to the next level....lol
...and even now I don't see myself married, I never have.
But I do like this guy, very much and I don't see anyone else and he knows that, and he has told me that he doesn't want to see anyone else either... so I should take comfort in that I suppose....that's as close as we've gotten to exclusivity....
Well I've never asked, its just implied on my part...especially since im a girl. The guys I date arent big daters or player types so we kinda just know. Also if we even get to the point of exclusivity is b/c we've known each other for a LONG time. Im big on the friends first thing.
sadge...i think you need to be more assertive with him and just ask him where you stand. or at least let him know what you truly want out of the situation...you must voice your thoughts or you will be waiting patiently for a LONG time!!! trust me on that one.
i think at a year and a half you have every right to ask him where you stand or to make it clear what you want and he should respect that. don't be afraid to speak you mind.
Friends I Kiss, Friends I only hug, Workplace/Bartender/Waiter/Girl/Gay Man/Etc crush, Crush with the option of benefits, (my ex Aqua came up with this one: Friends with the option to commit), Off the radar, On the radar, Utter Chaos, Boyfriend for now, Lover, Vacation Fling, That Guy, Ex who is still a friend, A-hole Ex, Ex with benefits, Tuesday Night Guy, First Husband Material, "you are totally my boyfriend - shut up". NOW THIS I LIKE...
... i have a "love of my life #1 going nowhere just not in the right position" guy, a "strictly no hands on flirt with" guy, then theres the " flirt with you touch me where u like but there guy", then an "again and again guy" where we try but not really to pick up where we left off knowing it leads to nothing and goes nowhere...", "round #2 guy" who didn't prove himself the first time and begs to redeem himself....an the "if i wasn't in love i'd chose you so just in case but yeah right doubt it" guy...and the "guy i just date" and hope he doesnt get overly emotional...
"You know, even if I were in a solid relationship right now, I would still be all about Sunday nights, watching movies & drinking out of a martini glass - BY MYSELF!!"
"What difference really will it make to "define" the relationship? It's not going to turn the guy into Romeo if he isn't already just because you've gotten him to verbally agree to something. You're not going to feel any more security because his behavior will not change. If anything, you may be more upset because somehow you will expect more of him after something has been "defined".
I see what you're saying.... I suppose the fact that we have both stated that we don't see other people should be enough to keep me happy.
I'm not looking for Romeo... I'm quite happy with the way he is now... that said, I will shut my trap about definitions. I guess I just hope my future includes him... and not knowing where we are headed leaves me open to heartache... such is life I suppose.
"If things are going good and you aren't needing to get married next month...just keep your mouth SHUT! Why don't we women EVER learn!?"
LOL... Thanks UC! ...and for the record... I never want to get married (Sadge remember...) 😉
nope, not really. i never do, i use the good old 'go with the flow' line as wel. in fact, when i think about it, i hate talking about relationships. especially cos im so flighty,i know i will change my mind in a week and dont want ot feel pressured into a commitment. Let us be free though and we always come back! =]
UC (is it ok to call you this :p) I was about to take my hat off to you due to your last post, that's exactly how mature my cancer was and I like for my gf. However you confused me on your last sentence. How do you mean "in charge of each own's destiny" when speaking for a relationship on an advanced level eg marriage ? Maybe I see it with the aqua's "united" point of view and I'm missing sthg.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Will he ever tell you where you stand with him?