confusing “signals” (or lack thereof) - a memoir

i’d like to start off by saying for some strange reason, aquarians are my kryptonite and i love you all. as for the title, i actually shortened this post ironically so the “memoir” is as close as it’s going to get. but also i don’t really expect much of a reply as i just want to get this off my chest as a whole.

side note, i attract aquarius men and women quite well in friendships and relationships/situationships. aquarius is EASILY my favorite sign hands down. alas im a scorpio (virgo moon libra asc). a sad day for us all, i know. i know i’m a handful and a lot to deal with.

anyways i digress. i met an aquarius at work, and really at first, i found him quiet and uninteresting. then he opened up in his own roundabout way. he was conversing normally with others around me, speaking normally. then he gets to me and one of the first things he said to me was “you look anemic.” i was like…. “thanks? i am?? so i’ll take that as a compliment i guess.” and i was a bit miffed but in retrospect it is hilarious (i didn’t know him then either so it seemed potentially rude). and he occasionally does make comments like this so after getting to know his personality, it doesn’t bother me as much and has been a little bit more of a joyful amusement.

we got to know each other more and things were going quite well, and regardless of what happens, i have found a valuable friend i will cherish forever. one day i invited him out bowling with us as one of our coworkers was leaving, and it was a lot of fun. we socialized and he stayed near me to where people inquired about whether or not we were an item to which i replied “no” because obviously we weren’t. but it then occurred to me that i WAS interested in him. i think i inadvertently may have showed it, so 2 weeks later we were talking about age gaps, and i told him how once someone lied to me about their age and i found that fundamentally strange so i blocked them. we went in-depth with this, and he made a joke about lying to women, and i told him honestly is very important and relationships are built on trust. it was then it seemed like his wheels were turning. we continued the conversation, but then he forced in an awkwardly paused statement about how he was talking to a girl a few months older than him or.. something, but the way he did it, i could see he was trying to send me a message. i kept it light despite this.

the next day, he awkwardly stood around the area im in as i was conversing with someone. i didn’t break because it was an in-depth conversation so he has awkwardly departed and then avoided me the rest of the day. and the following day he did the same. at this point, i realized he was not going to initiate and i had to make a decision. my decision was that regardless if he wasn’t interested in me or not, i valued our friendship. it’s fun and i really enjoy talking to him, so after he ignored me the entire second day, i went up to him and said goodbye. the following days went smoothly.

really, i didn’t mind putting my feelings on the back burner. though others’ comments still come up. now people are saying at work that we have tunnel vision with each other and are in constant conversations. which… we are i guess but we get our work done. i genuinely find talking to him fun and soothing. he stimulates my mind, which i feel like is hard to do. i can float off into my thoughts and be uninterested in conversing with people, but when we get together it’s endless. i feel like i learn from him and am inspired by him, and i hope he feels the same. it’s a lovely friendship at the very least. needless to say, i’m not going to risk losing that by saying something and making him uncomfortable. having him around this way is better than not at all

we’ve been talking about international travel, which is something i’m passionate about. i love seeing things and exploring. he didn’t have his passport and i told him prior to apply online, so he said he tried but that first time applicants can’t do it online. i thought they could but anyways, he said he didn’t have a printer and so later i printed the form out for him to do. around the same time, he asked if he could pick up coffee for me on his break and i asked if he’d pick up my and my friends lunch too and he said he would. i then gave him the passport application and he asked me if i printed that so he’d go get my lunch and i laughed because… what? lol. but i told him no that i printed that prior to wanting and even ordering my lunch but that this was my first chance to give it to him.

i could go into more, but really this is where i’m going to leave it. im curious what other people think. and really i know it’s not much to go off of so any type of banter is fine. again, i really cherish the friendship. and he may even be changing jobs soon, and outside of the constant talking and socializing at work, we haven’t done much outside of work, so i think that says enough in itself.

but really, i’d never sacrifice a fun friendship such as this for my disheartened feelings. THANK YOU for being you, aquas. you are all so lovely in your own ways. i have so much fun with you guys as a whole. i feel like actually out of every sign i meet the most aquas. then maybe… tauruses or libras

Posted by lostinwanderlust
i’d like to start off by saying for some strange reason, aquarians are my kryptonite and i love you all. as for the title, i actually shortened this post ironically so the “memoir” is as close as it’s going to get. but also i don’t really expect much of a reply as i just want to get this off my chest as a whole.


side note, i attract aquarius men and women quite well in friendships and relationships/situationships. aquarius is EASILY my favorite sign hands down. alas im a scorpio (virgo moon libra asc). a sad day for us all, i know. i know i’m a handful and a lot to deal with.


anyways i digress. i met an aquarius at work, and really at first, i found him quiet and uninteresting. then he opened up in his own roundabout way. he was conversing normally with others around me, speaking normally. then he gets to me and one of the first things he said to me was “you look anemic.” i was like…. “thanks? i am?? so i’ll take that as a compliment i guess.” and i was a bit miffed but in retrospect it is hilarious (i didn’t know him then either so it seemed potentially rude). and he occasionally does make comments like this so after getting to know his personality, it doesn’t bother me as much and has been a little bit more of a joyful amusement.


we got to know each other more and things were going quite well, and regardless of what happens, i have found a valuable friend i will cherish forever. one day i invited him out bowling with us as one of our coworkers was leaving, and it was a lot of fun. we socialized and he stayed near me to where people inquired about whether or not we were an item to which i replied “no” because obviously we weren’t. but it then occurred to me that i WAS interested in him. i think i inadvertently may have showed it, so 2 weeks later we were talking about age gaps, and i told him how once someone lied to me about their age and i found that fundamentally strange so i blocked them. we went in-depth with this, and he made a joke about lying to women, and i told him honestly is very important and relationships are built on trust. it was then it seemed like his wheels were turning. we continued the conversation, but then he forced in an awkwardly paused statement about how he was talking to a girl a few months older than him or.. something, but the way he did it, i could see he was trying to send me a message. i kept it light despite this.


the next day, he awkwardly stood around the area im in as i was conversing with someone. i didn’t break because it was an in-depth conversation so he has awkwardly departed and then avoided me the rest of the day. and the following day he did the same. at this point, i realized he was not going to initiate and i had to make a decision. my decision was that regardless if he wasn’t interested in me or not, i valued our friendship. it’s fun and i really enjoy talking to him, so after he ignored me the entire second day, i went up to him and said goodbye. the following days went smoothly.


really, i didn’t mind putting my feelings on the back burner. though others’ comments still come up. now people are saying at work that we have tunnel vision with each other and are in constant conversations. which… we are i guess but we get our work done. i genuinely find talking to him fun and soothing. he stimulates my mind, which i feel like is hard to do. i can float off into my thoughts and be uninterested in conversing with people, but when we get together it’s endless. i feel like i learn from him and am inspired by him, and i hope he feels the same. it’s a lovely friendship at the very least. needless to say, i’m not going to risk losing that by saying something and making him uncomfortable. having him around this way is better than not at all


we’ve been talking about international travel, which is something i’m passionate about. i love seeing things and exploring. he didn’t have his passport and i told him prior to apply online, so he said he tried but that first time applicants can’t do it online. i thought they could but anyways, he said he didn’t have a printer and so later i printed the form out for him to do. around the same time, he asked if he could pick up coffee for me on his break and i asked if he’d pick up my and my friends lunch too and he said he would. i then gave him the passport application and he asked me if i printed that so he’d go get my lunch and i laughed because… what? lol. but i told him no that i printed that prior to wanting and even ordering my lunch but that this was my first chance to give it to him.


i could go into more, but really this is where i’m going to leave it. im curious what other people think. and really i know it’s not much to go off of so any type of banter is fine. again, i really cherish the friendship. and he may even be changing jobs soon, and outside of the constant talking and socializing at work, we haven’t done much outside of work, so i think that says enough in itself.


but really, i’d never sacrifice a fun friendship such as this for my disheartened feelings. THANK YOU for being you, aquas. you are all so lovely in your own ways. i have so much fun with you guys as a whole. i feel like actually out of every sign i meet the most aquas. then maybe… tauruses or libras

So you value and enjoy his company.

It's obvious that it's mutual too. The aquward waiting to talk to you is a dead give away.

My question is your feelings. Why don't you ask him if it's a good idea for you guys to date?

As humans the desire to secure someone we have feelings for and value is well...normal. Relationship cuffs is a social way to go about that. Also it allows people to feel more comfortable opening up more in different ways. That's why we date.

Relationships based off of great friendships are long term relationships without question.

So I have no idea why you are fighting your self over this. Stop resisting, it self torture in this situation. Honor and work out your feelings.

Basically I'm saying to stop ignoring your feelings and figure out what kind of feelings they are. Then let him know your interested in seeing if there is more there or let him know how much you enjoy and appreciate him and your relationship with him.

Both those options will honor your genuine feelings in my opinion give what you have said.

P.S. Unlike Most here, I like essay posts. More

In depth understanding.