Do you ever feel like you're trapped in a cage?

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aquaglass
@aquaglass
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by HeWhoQuestionedExistence
In the name of science i wish i could read your mothertreetrunking word in it real word. Lol.
What are you gonna do then?



Explain the first part. If you mean the profanity filter, take it off under your settings.
As to what I'm gonna do, do you mean to get out of the cage? A plethora of things I don't want to, but have to be done.
click to expand

Hey thank you for the first part.
Whats your sun sign, btw?
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aquaglass
@aquaglass
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Posted by aquasnoz
Can't say I have. In what way do you feel trapped?
Lucky, good for you.
More like in the relationship with someone and in the conservative family. It sometimes hard to do some things that i want to do, because they have a lot of worries and fears, said they don't want something bad happens to me, i know they care about me. But somehow it feels like i don't have a lot of space to breathe.
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aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
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Depends on what you want to do I guess. The way I see it people always want what they don't have. If you grow up with a family you'll want to escape, grow up without one you'll start wanting one. It's always opposite to what we're use to.

I can relate to having a loving family and being in a relationship but they never really stopped me from what I wanted to do. Suffice to say what I wanted to do then didn't mean leaving them out or cutting them off instead they inspired me and supported me so I can only imagine perhaps something you're doing is along the lines of leaving them for a short while.
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EvilTurtle
@EvilTurtle
13 YearsAquarius

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Posted by aquaglass
Posted by aquasnoz
Can't say I have. In what way do you feel trapped?
Lucky, good for you.
More like in the relationship with someone and in the conservative family. It sometimes hard to do some things that i want to do, because they have a lot of worries and fears, said they don't want something bad happens to me, i know they care about me. But somehow it feels like i don't have a lot of space to breathe.
click to expand


Free is a state of mind we are free to stay or go. Being in a relationship with a confining family would be maddening. Try to keep in mind that your still free to stay or go. Use that mind set to get you over the hard points while you work out the details to escape. My point is if you remind yourself that your always free ultimately to do what, it will help you get through periods in your life that your realistically not free.
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aquaglass
@aquaglass
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Posted by aquasnoz
Depends on what you want to do I guess. The way I see it people always want what they don't have. If you grow up with a family you'll want to escape, grow up without one you'll start wanting one. It's always opposite to what we're use to.

I can relate to having a loving family and being in a relationship but they never really stopped me from what I wanted to do. Suffice to say what I wanted to do then didn't mean leaving them out or cutting them off instead they inspired me and supported me so I can only imagine perhaps something you're doing is along the lines of leaving them for a short while.
Well, i think its not really big things to do tho. I just want to livin alone and more independent, working and study abroad, but they have a lot of worries and what ifs even on some lil thing i want to do like do extreme sports or drive alone out of town.
I found it somewhat a bit too much nos and donts. And it makes me feel bad, because i never want to make em dissapointed.
I hope they could support me and all instead, like what your folks did to you.
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aquasnoz
@aquasnoz
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 362 · Posts: 10167 · Topics: 100
Posted by aquaglass
Posted by aquasnoz
Depends on what you want to do I guess. The way I see it people always want what they don't have. If you grow up with a family you'll want to escape, grow up without one you'll start wanting one. It's always opposite to what we're use to.

I can relate to having a loving family and being in a relationship but they never really stopped me from what I wanted to do. Suffice to say what I wanted to do then didn't mean leaving them out or cutting them off instead they inspired me and supported me so I can only imagine perhaps something you're doing is along the lines of leaving them for a short while.
Well, i think its not really big things to do tho. I just want to livin alone and more independent, working and study abroad, but they have a lot of worries and what ifs even on some lil thing i want to do like do extreme sports or drive alone out of town.
I found it somewhat a bit too much nos and donts. And it makes me feel bad, because i never want to make em dissapointed.
I hope they could support me and all instead, like what your folks did to you.
click to expand




I'll tell you a little secret 😉 I never went along with what they said I did my own thing. Took a few years for them to come to the realisation I can do things on my own trick is not to cave in to their pressure. Maybe I'm just a bit blunt that way but I told them it's emotional blackmailing but once they see you're still you, you can do things on your own they're less likely to be worried.

Out of curiosity what's your ethnic background.
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aquaglass
@aquaglass
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Posted by EvilTurtle
Posted by aquaglass
Posted by aquasnoz
Can't say I have. In what way do you feel trapped?
Lucky, good for you.
More like in the relationship with someone and in the conservative family. It sometimes hard to do some things that i want to do, because they have a lot of worries and fears, said they don't want something bad happens to me, i know they care about me. But somehow it feels like i don't have a lot of space to breathe.

Free is a state of mind we are free to stay or go. Being in a relationship with a confining family would be maddening. Try to keep in mind that your still free to stay or go. Use that mind set to get you over the hard points while you work out the details to escape. My point is if you remind yourself that your always free ultimately to do what, it will help you get through periods in your life that your realistically not free.
click to expand

Hey, I like what you were saying " free is a state of mind we are free to stay or go".
I'll note it.
Thaanks evilturtle!
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aquaglass
@aquaglass
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Posted by tiziani
Fears are everywhere. Family often fear you'll take risks that you can't recover from and so offer security and protection. You fear being seen as "the bad guy" or being seeing as not appreciating their love.


But there will come a time where your fear of being seen as the bad guy will finally be outweighed by your fear of not being respected as an individual in your own right. When that happens, the tipping point will finally break the cage for you.

Because respect and getting to know each other is just as important as loving each other. When you finally break free and get to know yourself better by doing your own thing, you'll see in the end your family gets to benefit by having a greater respect for you and appreciation for you as a person.

The biggest gift any family wants is to you grow. They know deep down that can only come from you.

And when you know that yourself, you'll see there's really no conflict between the two. There's no "either/or" situation in the end. You just have to do what you feel is true to yourself (an ideal that is bigger than any cage) and everybody wins.

There's a good saying that applies to pretty much anything in life...

"...Your friends will love you anyway"


Whoa, thats a cool detailed analization, and i hope it would be go along like that. And ended up all good like what you've said above.
Its kind of reminds me of something that we are the only one who really know who we are and what we want.
Thank ya tiziani, your words are cool!
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aquaglass
@aquaglass
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Posted by aquasnoz
Posted by aquaglass
Posted by aquasnoz
Depends on what you want to do I guess. The way I see it people always want what they don't have. If you grow up with a family you'll want to escape, grow up without one you'll start wanting one. It's always opposite to what we're use to.

I can relate to having a loving family and being in a relationship but they never really stopped me from what I wanted to do. Suffice to say what I wanted to do then didn't mean leaving them out or cutting them off instead they inspired me and supported me so I can only imagine perhaps something you're doing is along the lines of leaving them for a short while.
Well, i think its not really big things to do tho. I just want to livin alone and more independent, working and study abroad, but they have a lot of worries and what ifs even on some lil thing i want to do like do extreme sports or drive alone out of town.
I found it somewhat a bit too much nos and donts. And it makes me feel bad, because i never want to make em dissapointed.
I hope they could support me and all instead, like what your folks did to you.



I'll tell you a little secret 😉 I never went along with what they said I did my own thing. Took a few years for them to come to the realisation I can do things on my own trick is not to cave in to their pressure. Maybe I'm just a bit blunt that way but I told them it's emotional blackmailing but once they see you're still you, you can do things on your own they're less likely to be worried.

Out of curiosity what's your ethnic background.
click to expand




Good idea, aquanoz!
I used to do that trick for some lil things, but yeah i always feel bad lol.
But well thats kind of solution to keep them calm down, yet i did my own thing.
I believe they would be less worried once they figure out that i'm okay and theres not a really bad thing i'm doing.
Thank you aquanoz, you're great 🙂
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aquaglass
@aquaglass
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by aquasnoz
Tizi your post totally reminded me of this:




I give you the most ratings for that one.

God knowsssss, God knows I want to break freeeeee
click to expand

Lmao!
I read that "i want to break free" with that song playin on my head.
You guys makes me laugh. Lol
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BlueSandCacoon
@BlueSandCacoon
13 Years1,000+ PostsAquarius

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I think many of us (Aquas) have this problem. We want to be ourselves *be free*, but we can't because we feel guilty in doing so.

"The Sun is in detriment in Aquarius. Symbolically, this shows that the desires of the individual personality must now be subordinated to the requirements of society as a whole. The scientifically enlightened Aquarian realizes that there are many suns in the heavens and that, of these, Earth??s Sun is but a minor star. This broad view makes them a cooperative member of a group or association. Since they do not seek power for themselves alone, people instinctively trust them and elevate them to a position of authority."

http://www.mindfire.ca/The% 20Planets% 20Through% 20the% 20Signs/Sun% 20Through% 20the% 20Signs/Sun% 20in% 20Aquarius.htm

Saturn, ruler of Aquarius, is all about limitations and boundaries. The Sun is about self expression and will, doesn't like being subjugated at all. Somehow, Sun in Aquarius has to find a way to channel its energies. Many do it by being unselfish/group oriented (Saturn). Others try to break out of the cage and actively seek freedom by exalting their self expression (Uranus).
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Eleventh
@The_eleventh_sign_11
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Well I'm doing a musical atm and my work boss is also my director.......shes 50 and I'm 27 and we just have this quirky friendship thats personal and business related cos were pretty much around each other 24/7 Ive done theatre for 4 years and Ive done one show right after the other so Ive been doing this juggling trick and its been so stressful.....when it comes to business at work and theatre I take it really personally because we have artistic differences, huge differences and there are times when she frustrates the bejesus out of me or will do things that just make me want to runaway midway through a show. In theatre to even speak of it is blasphemy ......shes like a side stage mum to me.....she will critique me all the time but never critique the others and she's just fucking hard on me because she knows I'm her friend....I dont think she's ever complimented me or said I did a good job, its always a critique....it hurts because I get complimented all the time by randoms at work people come in and compliment me all the time and she rolls her eyes and will say some snide remark like my head is getting bigger....anyways It would make me guilty if I left town during a show and sad cos I know i could never show my face on stage again hahaha
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truecap
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Whew, aquaglass! I thought you wanted to jump out of a perfectly good airplane or something! 😛

Well, your family will eventually realize that you are a grown adult with your own decisions to make. Take parents, for example. It is hard for parents to let their children grow up and do their own thing. My daughter is 20 and starting to make her own path. I worry about her and cringe at some of her decisions, but I try not to interfere. I'm in my mid forties and my parents STILL want to tell me what to do. It will be easier on your family if you just branch out gradually in baby steps.