Wow! What an idea! ...To be able to communicate with other free spirits in this crazy world! Hope this message finds you well...at peace with yourself and your life...feel free to write to me...Erin
Free Spirits
Hey there Erin,
I guess you don't have an Alamo up there in Austin, Minnesota, do you? I'm glad that you were able to join us.
Yes, this seems to be the place for free spirits. Is it just me or is a spirit only as free as what a person allows it to be? For me, I've really had to tame myself down considerably in order to have some semblence of a relationship. Perhaps it is the wrong relationship. For quite a while I went through a long, painful and sustained seperation of my wild spirit, and on into a happy (albeit more conservative) state of affairs. I have begun to realize that the world only moves so fast and that there are indeed only a certain amount of hours in a day. Unfortunately, I like and have been used to having things done now! If there is not enough time to get it done now, then I will try to create time, try to squeeze every second I can get out of a day. Slowing down has been pretty eye opening for a guy who has been pretty used to just plowing through almost every situation with vim, verve, and vigor. I have begun to allow my creative side to take over the left-over spirit and so I express myself musically, artistically, and in the written word as often as I can.
Sometimes I fear that I may have bruised my spirit. Other times I feel that this tameness of the persona has allowed me to become a better problem solver. And still other times I feel as if I might actually be a stark, raving lunatic, lurking within the body of a mild mannered art teacher, poised for the kill (so to speak).
Alas, I am only an aged party monster on the lookout for an interesting time doing something, somewhere. My soul cannot remain still for too long a length of time, lest it becomes restless and malcontent.
Now I smile at but only for a moment, as I rarely have the emotion to back it up. I have been angry for too long. My body, mind, and soul are so tired and stiff from being pissed off at the world that I often wonder if there is anything left inside of me. This is not a natural state of existence for anybody.
My wife has been battling health problems for over two years (plus two years previous to my meeting her, but not as bad). To be more specific she has been battling menopause. This menopause has caused her so many problems to occur that it has become mind boggling. If one ailment clears up another moves into its place. Now this, in and of itself, should not entirely lend itself towards harsh feelings towards a loved one. However the constant repitition and battery of her complaints, recurring symptoms, mood swings, and constant obsession with and need to speak about medical or health related topics (which I can do but am feeling run over by) has really taken its toll on me mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
These symptoms are not the only thing that I or have been pissed about. My father died over a year ago. He was the greatest man that I have ever known and I miss him dearly. His death came as such a great shock to all of us. Regardless, life marched on. It has been very stressful trying to continue without one of my major influences and favorite people to speak with.
As a teacher I work with over 150 students teaching them about art. Many are more concerned about socialising than they are about doing something creative. Sometimes I feel so undervalued that I toy with the idea of trashing it all. Just up and leaving and looking for another career.
Now I feel that I am more at peace with myself than I have been in a very long time. But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like shutting my eyes and just fading away.
Tonight will be fun as I have a chance to meet with other free spirits, other art teachers. And so into the evening I shall go.
Erin, I am so sorry if I ended up dumping all of my problems into your pathway. If you are still reading this then you are indeed an exraordinary person.
I wish you great luck and m
I guess you don't have an Alamo up there in Austin, Minnesota, do you? I'm glad that you were able to join us.
Yes, this seems to be the place for free spirits. Is it just me or is a spirit only as free as what a person allows it to be? For me, I've really had to tame myself down considerably in order to have some semblence of a relationship. Perhaps it is the wrong relationship. For quite a while I went through a long, painful and sustained seperation of my wild spirit, and on into a happy (albeit more conservative) state of affairs. I have begun to realize that the world only moves so fast and that there are indeed only a certain amount of hours in a day. Unfortunately, I like and have been used to having things done now! If there is not enough time to get it done now, then I will try to create time, try to squeeze every second I can get out of a day. Slowing down has been pretty eye opening for a guy who has been pretty used to just plowing through almost every situation with vim, verve, and vigor. I have begun to allow my creative side to take over the left-over spirit and so I express myself musically, artistically, and in the written word as often as I can.
Sometimes I fear that I may have bruised my spirit. Other times I feel that this tameness of the persona has allowed me to become a better problem solver. And still other times I feel as if I might actually be a stark, raving lunatic, lurking within the body of a mild mannered art teacher, poised for the kill (so to speak).
Alas, I am only an aged party monster on the lookout for an interesting time doing something, somewhere. My soul cannot remain still for too long a length of time, lest it becomes restless and malcontent.
Now I smile at but only for a moment, as I rarely have the emotion to back it up. I have been angry for too long. My body, mind, and soul are so tired and stiff from being pissed off at the world that I often wonder if there is anything left inside of me. This is not a natural state of existence for anybody.
My wife has been battling health problems for over two years (plus two years previous to my meeting her, but not as bad). To be more specific she has been battling menopause. This menopause has caused her so many problems to occur that it has become mind boggling. If one ailment clears up another moves into its place. Now this, in and of itself, should not entirely lend itself towards harsh feelings towards a loved one. However the constant repitition and battery of her complaints, recurring symptoms, mood swings, and constant obsession with and need to speak about medical or health related topics (which I can do but am feeling run over by) has really taken its toll on me mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
These symptoms are not the only thing that I or have been pissed about. My father died over a year ago. He was the greatest man that I have ever known and I miss him dearly. His death came as such a great shock to all of us. Regardless, life marched on. It has been very stressful trying to continue without one of my major influences and favorite people to speak with.
As a teacher I work with over 150 students teaching them about art. Many are more concerned about socialising than they are about doing something creative. Sometimes I feel so undervalued that I toy with the idea of trashing it all. Just up and leaving and looking for another career.
Now I feel that I am more at peace with myself than I have been in a very long time. But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like shutting my eyes and just fading away.
Tonight will be fun as I have a chance to meet with other free spirits, other art teachers. And so into the evening I shall go.
Erin, I am so sorry if I ended up dumping all of my problems into your pathway. If you are still reading this then you are indeed an exraordinary person.
I wish you great luck and m
Hi Erick!
You are quite correct! I am extraordinary. I tell my best friend (who is a male Aquarian) frequently that I am wonderful, intelligent, and amazing! It is more of a joke really. I can be those things...but also absent-minded, ditsy, and downright silly! I am sorry that you have had so much heartache. I am a nurse and feel a complexity within myself...sort of a "fun, crazy, far-out chick" along with a "conservative, task-oriented, calm & serious" person. Although no matter what happens, I laugh regularly. It is a daily need for me. In answer to your question, yes, I suppose a spirit is only as free as one allows it to be. And everything becomes complicated by Karma and Life Lessons! I am big into Feng Shui and positive affirmations. I recently helped my friend do some Feng Shui "space clearing" in the home he is moving into, to give him a fresh start without the presence of any negative energy from former tenants. (I never said I was normal...that is a trait I do not claim!) I am a continual learner on life's path...
Erick, you may "dump" on me (as you call it) if you need to. After all, I am extraordinary!! Hope this finds you well.
Erin
You are quite correct! I am extraordinary. I tell my best friend (who is a male Aquarian) frequently that I am wonderful, intelligent, and amazing! It is more of a joke really. I can be those things...but also absent-minded, ditsy, and downright silly! I am sorry that you have had so much heartache. I am a nurse and feel a complexity within myself...sort of a "fun, crazy, far-out chick" along with a "conservative, task-oriented, calm & serious" person. Although no matter what happens, I laugh regularly. It is a daily need for me. In answer to your question, yes, I suppose a spirit is only as free as one allows it to be. And everything becomes complicated by Karma and Life Lessons! I am big into Feng Shui and positive affirmations. I recently helped my friend do some Feng Shui "space clearing" in the home he is moving into, to give him a fresh start without the presence of any negative energy from former tenants. (I never said I was normal...that is a trait I do not claim!) I am a continual learner on life's path...
Erick, you may "dump" on me (as you call it) if you need to. After all, I am extraordinary!! Hope this finds you well.
Erin
Erick,
Hi, again!
You wrote so much, I know I didn't respond to all of it...but will respond to another segment at this time...
Negativity is very potent and can be overwhelming. You need an outlet of sorts, as I don't think your wife will change her behavior unless her health symptoms subside. It should be a healthy, FUN, positive outlet. It does sound like you are doing some creative things and that is good...but you need to offset the negative with positive to avoid being sucked into the negative black void!! Yuk! I don't know what, exactly. I meditate daily and use positive affirmations daily which have been lifesavers for me...but we are all unique. What works for one may not work for another. One other thought, as a nurse, I do not relish the thought of always discussing medical issues either. I can...but I have a variety of interests...
It would be boring to me. May I ask your wife's sun sign? (She needs distraction from her health problems and a more positive attitude...but it doesn't sound as though she wants to NOT focus on it. Am I right?)
Best to you,
Erin
Hi, again!
You wrote so much, I know I didn't respond to all of it...but will respond to another segment at this time...
Negativity is very potent and can be overwhelming. You need an outlet of sorts, as I don't think your wife will change her behavior unless her health symptoms subside. It should be a healthy, FUN, positive outlet. It does sound like you are doing some creative things and that is good...but you need to offset the negative with positive to avoid being sucked into the negative black void!! Yuk! I don't know what, exactly. I meditate daily and use positive affirmations daily which have been lifesavers for me...but we are all unique. What works for one may not work for another. One other thought, as a nurse, I do not relish the thought of always discussing medical issues either. I can...but I have a variety of interests...
It would be boring to me. May I ask your wife's sun sign? (She needs distraction from her health problems and a more positive attitude...but it doesn't sound as though she wants to NOT focus on it. Am I right?)
Best to you,
Erin
Hi Erin,
Thank you for being such a fabulous, supportive person. You seem like a lightning bolt...fully charged and ready to go. Well thank you for the advice. Now that school is out for the summer I think I'll have more time in order to look for good, positive outlets like you suggested. I have been cultivating positive friendships as well, and this helps me keep a genuine smile on my face.
My wifes astrological sign is Cancer. She does want to try to keep her mind occupied with other things like playing "Tomb Raider", reading the Bible and other books about worship, occassionally working on a drawing or painting project or a craft project, and getting on the internet (she mostly goes to health sites). She has told me that she has gotten tired of talking about her health and she has tried to speak on other topics, but invariably the conversations usually lead back to the daily forcast of what hurt when and how much for how long.
Se la vie. I try to support her as much as I can and give her a caring, loving environment. But after supporting for so long I am beginning to feel as if I am the one who now needs the support. Ya know what I mean?
Well I am bound and determined to become the vibrant person that I once was all over again. Those negative vibes won't hold me back. I love life too much to feel this way!
Well thank you again Erin for your help. Here's to your health and happiness. May you forever have a smile in your heart.
Erick
Thank you for being such a fabulous, supportive person. You seem like a lightning bolt...fully charged and ready to go. Well thank you for the advice. Now that school is out for the summer I think I'll have more time in order to look for good, positive outlets like you suggested. I have been cultivating positive friendships as well, and this helps me keep a genuine smile on my face.
My wifes astrological sign is Cancer. She does want to try to keep her mind occupied with other things like playing "Tomb Raider", reading the Bible and other books about worship, occassionally working on a drawing or painting project or a craft project, and getting on the internet (she mostly goes to health sites). She has told me that she has gotten tired of talking about her health and she has tried to speak on other topics, but invariably the conversations usually lead back to the daily forcast of what hurt when and how much for how long.
Se la vie. I try to support her as much as I can and give her a caring, loving environment. But after supporting for so long I am beginning to feel as if I am the one who now needs the support. Ya know what I mean?
Well I am bound and determined to become the vibrant person that I once was all over again. Those negative vibes won't hold me back. I love life too much to feel this way!
Well thank you again Erin for your help. Here's to your health and happiness. May you forever have a smile in your heart.
Erick
Hi Erick!
Thank you for your kind words...I guess I have been described as "vibrant". I had a Gemini friend who could see auras tell me once that mine was the highest aura she had ever seen. Weird, huh? It sounds like you and your wife are on the right track. That is wonderful! My daughter's father is Cancer. I'm sure it is difficult for both of you to remain positive and it is hard for anyone in pain not to complain about it....
It has taken me years to be who I am today, however...
I will be a support friend for you whenever you need one.
Take care of yourself...and thanks for the smile wish for me!
Erin
Thank you for your kind words...I guess I have been described as "vibrant". I had a Gemini friend who could see auras tell me once that mine was the highest aura she had ever seen. Weird, huh? It sounds like you and your wife are on the right track. That is wonderful! My daughter's father is Cancer. I'm sure it is difficult for both of you to remain positive and it is hard for anyone in pain not to complain about it....
It has taken me years to be who I am today, however...
I will be a support friend for you whenever you need one.
Take care of yourself...and thanks for the smile wish for me!
Erin
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