How to handle the test?

Just first of all want to thank you all. I've read so much here that has helped me so far.
I've been in a "relationship" with this aqua man for 17 months. We text daily and see each other twice a week on average. We're on the same page as far as our relationship goes. Talked about moving in together before he lost his job. He has tested me a lot. But three days ago he sends a text in which he says you're getting tired of our sexual relationship. I respond with no, just wish we had more time for you to reciprocate more. I'm paraphrasing. I've sent him a couple of text about jobs he would like. Asked him if he wanted to go to the store with me. But no response. I'm at a loss here...feeling like I've lost my best friend.

Posted by mello1
Just first of all want to thank you all. I've read so much here that has helped me so far.
I've been in a "relationship" with this aqua man for 17 months. We text daily and see each other twice a week on average. We're on the same page as far as our relationship goes. Talked about moving in together before he lost his job. He has tested me a lot. But three days ago he sends a text in which he says you're getting tired of our sexual relationship. I respond with no, just wish we had more time for you to reciprocate more. I'm paraphrasing.

I've sent him a couple of text about jobs he would like.

Asked him if he wanted to go to the store with me. But no response. I'm at a loss here...feeling like I've lost my best friend.

You're trying to "help" him find a job.

I'm at the other end of this axis, but I would be insulted.

Discussing broad ideas is good; sending him actual job-postings is another thing, entirely... esp if he hasn't asked for your help.

Hmm. Hadn't thought about that. I have sent him a few before he always thanked me. But perhaps his views have changed. I'm a Sagittarius BTW. Thanks for the suggestion.

Yeah as women all astrology aside it is the duty to let the man lead he does those things just offer moral support and encouragement all the other stuff he can do, it offends him as a man doing motherly things for him. Or how men perceive motherly things.

Posted by mello1
three days ago he sends a text in which he says you're getting tired of our sexual relationship. I respond with no, just wish we had more time for you to reciprocate more.

This is what concerns me. Why is he feeling you're tired of the sexual relationship? Have things changed? Are yall doing it less now?

And what did you mean by more time (to reciprocate)? Are you doing things for him he won't do for you? Do you only do quickies? Is it all about him (or is he selfish)?

Perhaps the issue isn't about the job but more about your sexual connection?

On second thought:

You basically told him you weren't happy with the sexual relationship, which men interpret as you're not happy with them. They view it as you're saying they're not any good in the sack. Big bruise to the male ego. Did you back up what you said with what you DO like that he does?

Communicating about sexual matters must be handled with care. Always start with a complement, tell the truth, end with some kind of praise.

This was a double blow to his ego. First he loses his job, second he finds out he's not good sexually. It might not be what you meant, but that's how a man would interpret that.

Way to hit a man when he's down. Your timing was HORRIBLE. Shame on you for dropping the double whammy.

I think that's where the lack of response stems from.

Posted by truecap
On second thought:

You basically told him you weren't happy with the sexual relationship, which men interpret as you're not happy with them. They view it as you're saying they're not any good in the sack. Big bruise to the male ego. Did you back up what you said with what you DO like that he does?

Communicating about sexual matters must be handled with care. Always start with a complement, tell the truth, end with some kind of praise.

This was a double blow to his ego. First he loses his job, second he finds out he's not good sexually. It might not be what you meant, but that's how a man would interpret that.

Way to hit a man when he's down. Your timing was HORRIBLE. Shame on you for dropping the double whammy.

I think that's where the lack of response stems from.

No, shame on you!! If someone come to a forum for advice, they don't need your holier than thou shame and condemnation.

For my experience, Aqua men are extremely sensitive (although they're very good at hiding it}. Just give him time and space along with the occasion text to show him that you care and are there for him

Posted by Aquariusgirluk

Posted by truecap
On second thought:

You basically told him you weren't happy with the sexual relationship, which men interpret as you're not happy with them. They view it as you're saying they're not any good in the sack. Big bruise to the male ego. Did you back up what you said with what you DO like that he does?

Communicating about sexual matters must be handled with care. Always start with a complement, tell the truth, end with some kind of praise.

This was a double blow to his ego. First he loses his job, second he finds out he's not good sexually. It might not be what you meant, but that's how a man would interpret that.

Way to hit a man when he's down. Your timing was HORRIBLE. Shame on you for dropping the double whammy.

I think that's where the lack of response stems from.

No, shame on you!! If someone come to a forum for advice, they don't need your holier than thou shame and condemnation.

For my experience, Aqua men are extremely sensitive (although they're very good at hiding it}. Just give him time and space along with the occasion text to show him that you care and are there for him

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That was my advice and it's built on life experience,and not intended as a holier than thou shame fest. I call it like I see it based upon the information presented. I feel that if someone comes on here for advice, they are wanting (and needing) some honest opinions as well as a variety of opinions. They're not wanting someone to sugarcoat and tell them what they want to here (well, they might want it, but is that really what they need?).

I wasn't trying to shame or condemn her, but she needs to know that what I said is a possibility and that's all it is. If that is what happened, then she can understand and that gives her a chance to make up for it and fix it. It's something she can learn from for future reference - and life is a learning experience.

Well, I guess I did say shame, but it wasn't intended to condemn.

How old are you guys? Sorry if that sounded rude but I need it gauge if my own experience would shed some light on the situation even if it just offers one perspective.

It had a lot to do with experience vs inexperience and somewhat what should've been addressed and talked about during the relationship (if it was even possible at the time).