VirgowithalittleLibra
@VirgowithalittleLibra
19 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 435 · Topics: 28
In-love with the idea?
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that's bad...
being in love with the idea of being with someone rather than being in love with the person for who they are is not good...it's not real love.
being in love with the idea of being with someone rather than being in love with the person for who they are is not good...it's not real love.
the relationship will never work and both parties will try and try to make it work, but it will never happen
If I were to be saying this to a man...it would be my way of saying - I'm not interested...just don't want to hurt your feelings. This statement comes from an insecure woman.
I would not say this cuz I am a to the point kinda woman.
I would not say this cuz I am a to the point kinda woman.
It is bad, but she might simply be trying to detach and figure out what she wants. I wouldn't say insecure, but more a questioning period. Best advice... back off and ler her figure it out.
Virgowithalittlelibra... "sometimes I fear that I may be in-love with the idea of you"
I know exactly what is meant by this. Because I know this place WELL. In another thread, it was said that Aqua's have relationships in their mind and this is sooo true. Especially if we are introverted. This is me. I talk to people but what I really think and want to say stays in my mind. It is hard for me to say exactly what is on my mind. I spend hours rehearsing conversations I have had or will have and reanalyzing them. Crazy..Yeah I know. To that end, we spend a lot of time dreaming up the other persons reply to what we would say and mentally enacting scenes we want to happen between us and a potential partner, but these things may never be said or may never happen, but in our mind they already have.
I know this sounds funny... but this is the truth. So we can have complete relationships in our mind, based off of several limited conversations with someone, but we dream up how we think a person will act, to make every situation work out the way we want them to.. Scary.. I know. It works though. We are then prepared for any potential situation with this person and we have a response to all their actions.
What your Aqua is saying is that you have been on her mind so much that she has created an "ideal you" that may not be the reality "you". You were perfect in her head, but no one is perfect. She fell in love with that person... and you MAY be that guy or better than that guy. You're in there. Just show her who you are and take your time, she will let you into her fantasy of you and gradually the two will become one (in her mind, the fantasy you and the real you).
Be sure to tell her exactly how you feel, be clear and confident, then she can base her fantasy off of something real, and gently force your Aqua to talk about what she thinks about you while you are conversing on the phone or spending time together. Periodically, ask her what she is thinking about and wait for her response, no matter how long it takes. We need time to process things, especially if she is introverted. We love to share ourselves with the person we are in love with, but often are afraid they will not accept our quirkiness and our idiosyncrasies.. so we keep everything inside.
Just think about it. This is a generalization. But this sounds a lot like how I feel right now about a guy...
I know exactly what is meant by this. Because I know this place WELL. In another thread, it was said that Aqua's have relationships in their mind and this is sooo true. Especially if we are introverted. This is me. I talk to people but what I really think and want to say stays in my mind. It is hard for me to say exactly what is on my mind. I spend hours rehearsing conversations I have had or will have and reanalyzing them. Crazy..Yeah I know. To that end, we spend a lot of time dreaming up the other persons reply to what we would say and mentally enacting scenes we want to happen between us and a potential partner, but these things may never be said or may never happen, but in our mind they already have.
I know this sounds funny... but this is the truth. So we can have complete relationships in our mind, based off of several limited conversations with someone, but we dream up how we think a person will act, to make every situation work out the way we want them to.. Scary.. I know. It works though. We are then prepared for any potential situation with this person and we have a response to all their actions.
What your Aqua is saying is that you have been on her mind so much that she has created an "ideal you" that may not be the reality "you". You were perfect in her head, but no one is perfect. She fell in love with that person... and you MAY be that guy or better than that guy. You're in there. Just show her who you are and take your time, she will let you into her fantasy of you and gradually the two will become one (in her mind, the fantasy you and the real you).
Be sure to tell her exactly how you feel, be clear and confident, then she can base her fantasy off of something real, and gently force your Aqua to talk about what she thinks about you while you are conversing on the phone or spending time together. Periodically, ask her what she is thinking about and wait for her response, no matter how long it takes. We need time to process things, especially if she is introverted. We love to share ourselves with the person we are in love with, but often are afraid they will not accept our quirkiness and our idiosyncrasies.. so we keep everything inside.
Just think about it. This is a generalization. But this sounds a lot like how I feel right now about a guy...
!!! Wierd thats what the last Aqua I dated said to me. (after being friends and having a crush on me for 11 years - we finally gave it a try and 3 weeks later he tells me he had me all wrong.!! )
aquas always think ideally and play out the ideal siuations in their head...this is typical of them...so, sometimes when thing sgo off track a little bit and are not so "ideal", they run away...
*applauds* Halleluja, Praise the Lord! I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH AQUARIANBRAT.
THAT IS US IN A NUTSHELL.
VLL, ABSORB THAT INFORMATION AND YOU WILL BE MORE IN TUNE WITH HER.
HONEST TO GOD.
THAT IS US IN A NUTSHELL.
VLL, ABSORB THAT INFORMATION AND YOU WILL BE MORE IN TUNE WITH HER.
HONEST TO GOD.
aquarianbrat...everything you said sounds just like my aqua...he lives in his head and he has even told me that he has crazy thoughts going through his head all the time and he cannot control them. and i am sure that my aqua has rehearsed convos that him and i have had over and over in his head...
when we were broken up for 4 months i think he probably tortured himself with all his thinking. he told me that he couldn't even sleep at night because all he could think about was me, us and everything we were going through...
when we were broken up for 4 months i think he probably tortured himself with all his thinking. he told me that he couldn't even sleep at night because all he could think about was me, us and everything we were going through...
so, i take back what i said in my first 2 posts to vll...b/c now it all makes perfect sense.
thank you guys...you are all great with your insights!
well, maybe i should add that she said that the day we both opened up about the problems in the previous relationship we had. so the subject was "problems" or "issues" we had in the past. i wanted to sort all them through before proceeding to talk about any future again for us...
so i mentioned many things that i didn't like and fears i had...and she did the same...and i point in time she mention that "idea" sentence...and that was the only one things that she mentioned that night that i didn't understood clearly.
AQUARIANBRAT!
sorry for the shout out, but seriously your assesment was pretty interesting, i think everyone here agrees. thank you for the time you took to write all that.
i will try to help her out to open little by little...and ask more questions about her thoughts about me. i want to know what is the "idea" she has in her mind worlds...so she and i can confront the reality of who i am. i think she helps me to see the future and ideals...but i help her with seeing the reality of the place where we are...so we should try to help each other with that.
i know she lives in her mind. she is very outgoing but extremely reserved in many ways.
like you and ladyvie said...i'll give her the time to figure out things...because although i know she loves me...i want to make sure she loves me for who i am, like moonchild said...and for her to be more secure of my thoughts about her and us too, like freebird said.
starfish22, i need to learn to read twisted a bit more! maybe you and i could come up with a secret decoding list of terms and sentences 😉 i may need some help.
dancingbread, when i joined this place i learned that we all have a main sign, we all know it, and other sign influences in us....due to some sign chart we all can have with our birthdate, year, and birth time...
so i found out a list of signs included in my chart (i have traits from) and i found out that my venus (planet of love and romance) is in libra. that's why i have the "virgowithalittlelibra" name...it is a pain in tbe butt...because it's SO long. i was sort of in a hurry to register, so i had to decide something eventually...an aqua friend suggested VLL to shrink it a little. phew.
and bryanfay...yep, there are certain patterns here, isn't interesting?
i do value understanding things a bit better guys, so thank you. it gives me a better perspective.
VLL
well, maybe i should add that she said that the day we both opened up about the problems in the previous relationship we had. so the subject was "problems" or "issues" we had in the past. i wanted to sort all them through before proceeding to talk about any future again for us...
so i mentioned many things that i didn't like and fears i had...and she did the same...and i point in time she mention that "idea" sentence...and that was the only one things that she mentioned that night that i didn't understood clearly.
AQUARIANBRAT!
sorry for the shout out, but seriously your assesment was pretty interesting, i think everyone here agrees. thank you for the time you took to write all that.
i will try to help her out to open little by little...and ask more questions about her thoughts about me. i want to know what is the "idea" she has in her mind worlds...so she and i can confront the reality of who i am. i think she helps me to see the future and ideals...but i help her with seeing the reality of the place where we are...so we should try to help each other with that.
i know she lives in her mind. she is very outgoing but extremely reserved in many ways.
like you and ladyvie said...i'll give her the time to figure out things...because although i know she loves me...i want to make sure she loves me for who i am, like moonchild said...and for her to be more secure of my thoughts about her and us too, like freebird said.
starfish22, i need to learn to read twisted a bit more! maybe you and i could come up with a secret decoding list of terms and sentences 😉 i may need some help.
dancingbread, when i joined this place i learned that we all have a main sign, we all know it, and other sign influences in us....due to some sign chart we all can have with our birthdate, year, and birth time...
so i found out a list of signs included in my chart (i have traits from) and i found out that my venus (planet of love and romance) is in libra. that's why i have the "virgowithalittlelibra" name...it is a pain in tbe butt...because it's SO long. i was sort of in a hurry to register, so i had to decide something eventually...an aqua friend suggested VLL to shrink it a little. phew.
and bryanfay...yep, there are certain patterns here, isn't interesting?
i do value understanding things a bit better guys, so thank you. it gives me a better perspective.
VLL
aquarianbrat...
this also makes sense because she mentioned more than once, what a great parent i will be...even thought we never even discussed much about it...or she would mention things like that randomly...which i thought was a bit odd, but cute.
also, she calls me honey...as if we would have been already a long time together...and when we met again, she acted as if we would have never departed...
i think is very possible that she has lived our relationship in and outside our reality...
question to aquarianbrat or whoever else can relate...
when you live in your mind...and let's say this experience has to do with relationships.
do you live only future things and/or do you live the past too?
also, do you live positive and ideal situations and/or do you live negative and unwanted situations too?
this also makes sense because she mentioned more than once, what a great parent i will be...even thought we never even discussed much about it...or she would mention things like that randomly...which i thought was a bit odd, but cute.
also, she calls me honey...as if we would have been already a long time together...and when we met again, she acted as if we would have never departed...
i think is very possible that she has lived our relationship in and outside our reality...
question to aquarianbrat or whoever else can relate...
when you live in your mind...and let's say this experience has to do with relationships.
do you live only future things and/or do you live the past too?
also, do you live positive and ideal situations and/or do you live negative and unwanted situations too?
VLL, what time of day were you born and your aqua's if you know?
when you live in your mind...and let's say this experience has to do with relationships.
do you live only future things and/or do you live the past too?
also, do you live positive and ideal situations and/or do you live negative and unwanted situations too?
people only relive the past if they did not analyze it, that goes for us aquarians too.
after we have analyzed it we include it as we create the possible future relationship projections/scenarios. it's just our way of dealing with it.
so what you should do is:
slowly make positive statements so that she can slowly remember the positive statments in her thoughts so that it may substitute those megative thoughts(the past traumatic experience)
but those positive statements have to come from YOU in order to counteract the negative memory. reinforce it with positive statements and positive actions in order to soften the bad memory.
do you live only future things and/or do you live the past too?
also, do you live positive and ideal situations and/or do you live negative and unwanted situations too?
people only relive the past if they did not analyze it, that goes for us aquarians too.
after we have analyzed it we include it as we create the possible future relationship projections/scenarios. it's just our way of dealing with it.
so what you should do is:
slowly make positive statements so that she can slowly remember the positive statments in her thoughts so that it may substitute those megative thoughts(the past traumatic experience)
but those positive statements have to come from YOU in order to counteract the negative memory. reinforce it with positive statements and positive actions in order to soften the bad memory.
that sounds like a grat idea...i'll try to open up the door of her mind softly....because that seems to be the way to her heart...
and i'll get her some flowers and her favorite shoes...just in case! 😉
and i'll get her some flowers and her favorite shoes...just in case! 😉
now you're in tune!! brilliant. ^_~
VLL...
Question to aquarianbrat or whoever else can relate...
When you live in your mind...and let's say this experience has to do with relationships. Do you live only future things and/or do you live the past too?
Also, do you live positive and ideal situations and/or do you live negative and unwanted situations too?
Okay... I am not sure how other Aqua's do it but for me, I mainly live experiences and conversations I want to happen in the future. If something bad was said or happened, I will analyze it to try to figure out what I did wrong. When I dream, I dream situations that could possibly happen between my victim and me in the near future. Like I am daydream about kissing my beau and how I will set up the scenario the next time I see him to ensure this happens.. or I will daydream about a possible sexual experience with him.. and how I will set THAT up to happen... But usually these feelings are intensified after having a really deep conversation with him about us, things we have done together, talked about, seen etc. That gets me completely in his zone and even when I don't want to, like I am working and need to concentrate or trying to sleep, I won't be able to because these visions (if you will) keep popping in my head.
I use negative or bad experiences to help decide on what level I want to deal with a man and how far I will allow my feelings for him to go... So if this guy has hurt me before all my "visions" will be limited because I know the relationship is only going to be a limited one. Usually I daydream about realistic events that I WANT to happen.
Another thing aqua's like, just because we think a lot, thus forcing us to be very self-absorbed is to be told how we feel, or to be told what to do, gently, or to be told our unique way of trying to push a man away, is not going to work... this is a turn on for us because we are rarely challenged. People tend to think we know what we are talking about, and 99% of the time we do, somewhat... We like to be challenged in a friendly way. It makes us think our partner just may be more intelligent than us... and that is always appealing.
I am only giving you what I have learned from what I am going through with my best friend. I have learned a lot about myself through him patiently loving me and getting to know the real me, not the front I put on everyday for the world or the guys I date. He is the only male that really knows me, out of all the men I have dated.
Question to aquarianbrat or whoever else can relate...
When you live in your mind...and let's say this experience has to do with relationships. Do you live only future things and/or do you live the past too?
Also, do you live positive and ideal situations and/or do you live negative and unwanted situations too?
Okay... I am not sure how other Aqua's do it but for me, I mainly live experiences and conversations I want to happen in the future. If something bad was said or happened, I will analyze it to try to figure out what I did wrong. When I dream, I dream situations that could possibly happen between my victim and me in the near future. Like I am daydream about kissing my beau and how I will set up the scenario the next time I see him to ensure this happens.. or I will daydream about a possible sexual experience with him.. and how I will set THAT up to happen... But usually these feelings are intensified after having a really deep conversation with him about us, things we have done together, talked about, seen etc. That gets me completely in his zone and even when I don't want to, like I am working and need to concentrate or trying to sleep, I won't be able to because these visions (if you will) keep popping in my head.
I use negative or bad experiences to help decide on what level I want to deal with a man and how far I will allow my feelings for him to go... So if this guy has hurt me before all my "visions" will be limited because I know the relationship is only going to be a limited one. Usually I daydream about realistic events that I WANT to happen.
Another thing aqua's like, just because we think a lot, thus forcing us to be very self-absorbed is to be told how we feel, or to be told what to do, gently, or to be told our unique way of trying to push a man away, is not going to work... this is a turn on for us because we are rarely challenged. People tend to think we know what we are talking about, and 99% of the time we do, somewhat... We like to be challenged in a friendly way. It makes us think our partner just may be more intelligent than us... and that is always appealing.
I am only giving you what I have learned from what I am going through with my best friend. I have learned a lot about myself through him patiently loving me and getting to know the real me, not the front I put on everyday for the world or the guys I date. He is the only male that really knows me, out of all the men I have dated.
Patience and persistance DOES pay off with us... and a little space never hurt anyone either....
Oh and Yes we re-live the past. Especially if it is a really good past, but we may do that for the first week or so after it happens, but after that we have new experiences to plan out, and the memories start to fade, unless we write it down. Which we normally write everything down as not to forget it... because we know our minds are sooo jammed pack with important stuff and we don't want to forget a thing.
Amen. ^_^ Thanks for taking the time to type the details. I wouldn't want to give out that much about us so freely though. @_@
if there is a sign confused by us, they won't be anymore! take advantage of the info while you can people!!!
if there is a sign confused by us, they won't be anymore! take advantage of the info while you can people!!!
Aquarianbrat,
Thank you so much for such a bright insight! Don't worry ladies, I won't take this info for granted. It only makes me care about my aqua more. For me, as a virgo, the more I understand the more at peace I feel about things and the more I want to get involved.
If you guys in your mind as much as it seems, then it makes sense than my aqua and I feel the attraction we do...because although we both analyze things a lot...while she encourages us to move into the future (I get scared about it) I remind her of our present (important to know, since it helps us to shape the "vision" for the future we see).
Thank you...
VLL
Thank you so much for such a bright insight! Don't worry ladies, I won't take this info for granted. It only makes me care about my aqua more. For me, as a virgo, the more I understand the more at peace I feel about things and the more I want to get involved.
If you guys in your mind as much as it seems, then it makes sense than my aqua and I feel the attraction we do...because although we both analyze things a lot...while she encourages us to move into the future (I get scared about it) I remind her of our present (important to know, since it helps us to shape the "vision" for the future we see).
Thank you...
VLL
I'm just trying to help the poor guy out.. I don't have any love interests here. Because if I did... this info would be under lock & key, just like it is in the real world...
My last comment was in response to Reiniba-Chan.. Sorry..VLL didn't mean to call you a poor guy. XOXO
well. it is the internet. at the moment, I'm trying to gain info on a virgo who actually doesn't know much about me(which means he will try to do so in time). so I even keep my vulnerability under lock and key online because when you're dealing with a virgo, online or real life, they WILL hunt you down and get the goods on you. v.v
Not that I have anything to hide ^_^ I just don't want them to figure me out without me figuring them out first. And I don't care which virgo is paying attention to this if any at all. hehehehe ^^
Not that I have anything to hide ^_^ I just don't want them to figure me out without me figuring them out first. And I don't care which virgo is paying attention to this if any at all. hehehehe ^^
AquarianBrat,
No worries, I don't feel offended at all. I'm focused on the insight you provided. I may be poor guy rich in knowledge now 😉
Guess what? My xaqua and I are now finally back together...it's been a long and interesting journey so far, we are ready for a second year...I'm nervous, excited, fearful...all at once.
I just think I need to do this, because she and I need to realize if this is the real thing or not...since we both couldn't move on with our lives even months after we ended things.
Next time I will ask her if she ever has any dreams about us (I will ask this in a casual way), we will see what she has to say AND if she confesses that or shared anything...maybe I'll share some of mine first to break the ice.
Thank you again for whatever insight your bring and your honesty aquarianbrat.
Reibina,
I'm reading this, lol, so I hope you don't mind...since I'm virgo an all! 🙂
I really think any information shared in this forum can do only so much anyways...because if there isnt love in a relationship...no matter how much you know about a sign, it simply wont work. So I think all we can get here really is advices and inputs at handling things.
Plus we learn so much from the differences we all have.
I woudn't use any info about any sign for something bad....understanding people better can be a very good thing, dont be scared...
Eventually if someone truly loves you and you love them...you'll have to learn to open up...I think what we all look for is safety to do that.
If I win my aqua for a long long time one day (and that is what I wish too) I want to do it by being myself...more and more...I shouldn't feel always guarded...I want to learn to open up too and trust...trust her more over time.
The "idea" of being in-love with somone can become a reality.
VLL
No worries, I don't feel offended at all. I'm focused on the insight you provided. I may be poor guy rich in knowledge now 😉
Guess what? My xaqua and I are now finally back together...it's been a long and interesting journey so far, we are ready for a second year...I'm nervous, excited, fearful...all at once.
I just think I need to do this, because she and I need to realize if this is the real thing or not...since we both couldn't move on with our lives even months after we ended things.
Next time I will ask her if she ever has any dreams about us (I will ask this in a casual way), we will see what she has to say AND if she confesses that or shared anything...maybe I'll share some of mine first to break the ice.
Thank you again for whatever insight your bring and your honesty aquarianbrat.
Reibina,
I'm reading this, lol, so I hope you don't mind...since I'm virgo an all! 🙂
I really think any information shared in this forum can do only so much anyways...because if there isnt love in a relationship...no matter how much you know about a sign, it simply wont work. So I think all we can get here really is advices and inputs at handling things.
Plus we learn so much from the differences we all have.
I woudn't use any info about any sign for something bad....understanding people better can be a very good thing, dont be scared...
Eventually if someone truly loves you and you love them...you'll have to learn to open up...I think what we all look for is safety to do that.
If I win my aqua for a long long time one day (and that is what I wish too) I want to do it by being myself...more and more...I shouldn't feel always guarded...I want to learn to open up too and trust...trust her more over time.
The "idea" of being in-love with somone can become a reality.
VLL
vll...i am glad to hear you two are working it out...good luck to you!
it will be interesting for me to hear what happens b/c i went through the same thing...only i am 3 months ahead of you! kind of weird in a way...
anyway, definitely keep us filled in on what happens...
it will be interesting for me to hear what happens b/c i went through the same thing...only i am 3 months ahead of you! kind of weird in a way...
anyway, definitely keep us filled in on what happens...
VLL..
You seem like a very sensitive and intelligent guy. I am glad to see that you care so much for your aqua. So many men are stupid when in love.. and it is good to see one that is not. This is what I long for... Oneday I hope to get it 🙂
Good luck. Please keep us posted.
You seem like a very sensitive and intelligent guy. I am glad to see that you care so much for your aqua. So many men are stupid when in love.. and it is good to see one that is not. This is what I long for... Oneday I hope to get it 🙂
Good luck. Please keep us posted.
mc,
i will keep you posted. we have had similar stories, so i know you and i will have more to share from here on.
she is being wonderful to me right now. she knows i'm more realistic at things now, and if she wouldn't make a little more effort i could let her free again...and since she seems to love me...she is learning to make an effort to spend time with me and not give up so soon.
she says i love you very often now, chills with me at home, and calls me as soon as she leaves to tell me that she misses me 🙂
i'm not sure what will happen from here on. we talked about moving to the same city...kids...and all that. we will have to wait and see. we will take our fist trip together, just the two of us early next year, which is exciting for me, since she always stressed trips with her friends instead...i think she and i are bonding more than before.
aquarianbrat,
thank you for your nice words of encouragement. you seem as smart and exciting person.
i'm sure love will come for both us at its due time.
right now i'm enjoying what i have with this girl...and i'm open to the possibilities that time will bring for us.
i would say the think i love about her besides her beautiful smile is her mind. we are very different in many ways but so similar in others. this could be a great match or a wonderful lesson for me.
either way, here i come again for another year! i'll keep you posted.
please feel free to share anything you would like too ok.
vll
i will keep you posted. we have had similar stories, so i know you and i will have more to share from here on.
she is being wonderful to me right now. she knows i'm more realistic at things now, and if she wouldn't make a little more effort i could let her free again...and since she seems to love me...she is learning to make an effort to spend time with me and not give up so soon.
she says i love you very often now, chills with me at home, and calls me as soon as she leaves to tell me that she misses me 🙂
i'm not sure what will happen from here on. we talked about moving to the same city...kids...and all that. we will have to wait and see. we will take our fist trip together, just the two of us early next year, which is exciting for me, since she always stressed trips with her friends instead...i think she and i are bonding more than before.
aquarianbrat,
thank you for your nice words of encouragement. you seem as smart and exciting person.
i'm sure love will come for both us at its due time.
right now i'm enjoying what i have with this girl...and i'm open to the possibilities that time will bring for us.
i would say the think i love about her besides her beautiful smile is her mind. we are very different in many ways but so similar in others. this could be a great match or a wonderful lesson for me.
either way, here i come again for another year! i'll keep you posted.
please feel free to share anything you would like too ok.
vll
vll...i don't mean to be negative...but, my aqua was exactly the same as what you are describing for the first 2 months, and after that he felt more and more comfortable and his old ways came back. and he is still affectionate with me and tells me "i love you", etc. it's just not as often as it was when we first got back together...the more time we spent together, the more it all faded. at first he would text message me 3 times a day, first thing in the morning, call me a couple times a day, tell me he missed me constantly, tell me how much he loved me, tell me how happy he was that we were back together, etc. and now, he doesn't seem as happy with me and a lot of his bad, old ways are resurfacing and a lot of what he said to me before has been lost.
sooooo, all i am trying to tell you is cherish these moments you are having with her now b/c you never know how long they will last. take advantage of the way she is acting and eat it up...and i am sure you already know this...but just reminding you!
sooooo, all i am trying to tell you is cherish these moments you are having with her now b/c you never know how long they will last. take advantage of the way she is acting and eat it up...and i am sure you already know this...but just reminding you!
oh i am mc, i am...
that's why i am taking the chances to travel for the 1st time with her...i want to hang out with her more...and try to share new moments.
i'm very realistic about the possibility that this could not work...but i am learning to be open to the possibility that it could too.
everyone, including the libra girl i was dating before told me that i need to give this a try again for my own sake...
i'm afraid moomchild, i won't lie. but i have so much going on for me right now i can't let my feelings and emotions take my mind away for too long.
i will live each moment and see where things can go.
i'm giving her a second chance, and it has been strange for me, because i truly thought it was over...we will see.
i think it would take another year or so before either one can live our respective cities (because of the type of jobs we have), so right now the hardest part will be the distance.
but even IF she would move to this city for me or me there for her, i told her that i would like to have separate places for another year or so before ever considering about moving in together or getting married. there is no way i would take something like that lightly. i'm very slow when it comes to that kind of commitment.
we will have to wait and see.
i'm excited though. i'll keep you posted k 🙂
that's why i am taking the chances to travel for the 1st time with her...i want to hang out with her more...and try to share new moments.
i'm very realistic about the possibility that this could not work...but i am learning to be open to the possibility that it could too.
everyone, including the libra girl i was dating before told me that i need to give this a try again for my own sake...
i'm afraid moomchild, i won't lie. but i have so much going on for me right now i can't let my feelings and emotions take my mind away for too long.
i will live each moment and see where things can go.
i'm giving her a second chance, and it has been strange for me, because i truly thought it was over...we will see.
i think it would take another year or so before either one can live our respective cities (because of the type of jobs we have), so right now the hardest part will be the distance.
but even IF she would move to this city for me or me there for her, i told her that i would like to have separate places for another year or so before ever considering about moving in together or getting married. there is no way i would take something like that lightly. i'm very slow when it comes to that kind of commitment.
we will have to wait and see.
i'm excited though. i'll keep you posted k 🙂
oh and moonchild...
maybe your aqua is going through his old bad ways temporaly, who knows.
...my love line is steady once i find someone i truly feel safe with...maybe for them it is more like a wavelength because of some intrinsic fearful feelings they may have.
i think you and i fear abandonment, i think they fear loosing their freedom.
no fear is worst than other, we all just need to cope with these fears in better ways and be completely open to see other realities.
vll
maybe your aqua is going through his old bad ways temporaly, who knows.
...my love line is steady once i find someone i truly feel safe with...maybe for them it is more like a wavelength because of some intrinsic fearful feelings they may have.
i think you and i fear abandonment, i think they fear loosing their freedom.
no fear is worst than other, we all just need to cope with these fears in better ways and be completely open to see other realities.
vll
Yes this aqua lady is very lucky to have such an eager, understanding and patient boyfriend in VLL 🙂
About aqua's living in their heads. I tends towards this mindset and I'd rather I didn't. I relate to what was said earlier about drawing intellectual perceptions about people that may not match up with how they are in reality and this is not really helpful because you'll have expectations that don't get met. So all in all I reckon over cerebral aquas need to draw a line at the analysing and hypopthesizing and deal with what's real and not what's implied.
About aqua's living in their heads. I tends towards this mindset and I'd rather I didn't. I relate to what was said earlier about drawing intellectual perceptions about people that may not match up with how they are in reality and this is not really helpful because you'll have expectations that don't get met. So all in all I reckon over cerebral aquas need to draw a line at the analysing and hypopthesizing and deal with what's real and not what's implied.
mellowdee,
"So all in all I reckon over cerebral aquas need to draw a line at the analysing and hypopthesizing and deal with what's real and not what's implied"
true very true, but knowing the aqua nature (not being told what to do) they will have to arrive to this conclusion in their own timing...as they realize time and real life is passing by them each day.
thank you so much for your kind words. i hope i can a better bf to her than before...you seem to be a great girl, you deserve nothing but the best as well 🙂
talking about "ideals" and "dreams" in aquas world.
my aqua was supposed to call me yesterday morning as soon as she woke up (she said)...but of course 8 pass by, and then 9, and then 10, and then 11....and i didn't hear from here until 6:30 p.m. lol....
i knew already what happened, before she would even tell me...she probably went running, took a shower, and took a long nap...so she would call me on her way to work instead...and that is exactly what she said, and now that i know her better things like this dont affect much since it has to do with her routine and work schedule.
the funny part was though...that she called me and left a message, apologizing first for not calling earlier in the morning (which i thought was VERY nice of her, since in the past she didn't even remember when she had told me she was going to call)...but then she proceeded to say..."i had a dream that i did call you though..."
lol
she and i haven't talked at all about dreams or ideas about things yet, but now that i got some ideas of the aquas mindset...it was actually a compliment for me to know this...that she is dreaming about things she is doing with me...it is helping me to realize that she does think about me and does she most likely loves me, like she says she does.
so yes, she may not have called in the morning like she said she would, but she did dream about it, and now that i know aquas better...to me...this sounds just as good 🙂
i didn't tell her anything about it and im sure i won't be ok with her dreaming about every action as opposed to do it, but this time i thought it was cute.
thanks for your inputs!
vll
"So all in all I reckon over cerebral aquas need to draw a line at the analysing and hypopthesizing and deal with what's real and not what's implied"
true very true, but knowing the aqua nature (not being told what to do) they will have to arrive to this conclusion in their own timing...as they realize time and real life is passing by them each day.
thank you so much for your kind words. i hope i can a better bf to her than before...you seem to be a great girl, you deserve nothing but the best as well 🙂
talking about "ideals" and "dreams" in aquas world.
my aqua was supposed to call me yesterday morning as soon as she woke up (she said)...but of course 8 pass by, and then 9, and then 10, and then 11....and i didn't hear from here until 6:30 p.m. lol....
i knew already what happened, before she would even tell me...she probably went running, took a shower, and took a long nap...so she would call me on her way to work instead...and that is exactly what she said, and now that i know her better things like this dont affect much since it has to do with her routine and work schedule.
the funny part was though...that she called me and left a message, apologizing first for not calling earlier in the morning (which i thought was VERY nice of her, since in the past she didn't even remember when she had told me she was going to call)...but then she proceeded to say..."i had a dream that i did call you though..."
lol
she and i haven't talked at all about dreams or ideas about things yet, but now that i got some ideas of the aquas mindset...it was actually a compliment for me to know this...that she is dreaming about things she is doing with me...it is helping me to realize that she does think about me and does she most likely loves me, like she says she does.
so yes, she may not have called in the morning like she said she would, but she did dream about it, and now that i know aquas better...to me...this sounds just as good 🙂
i didn't tell her anything about it and im sure i won't be ok with her dreaming about every action as opposed to do it, but this time i thought it was cute.
thanks for your inputs!
vll
leokitten...my aqua has not changed himself and i do not want him to change either...however, he has respected some of the requests i made when we gotback together...and he has definitely switched his daily routine up a little bit...he has eliminated some of his really bad habits, such as going to the bar everyday after work. so, i don't think he has changed his character or personality at all, but he has changed his life style quite a bit since being back together with me...he has grown up a LOT and hopefully will continue to learn and mature...
...and i am not waiting for him to be what i want...i hope i do not come across as that type of person. i just sometimes wish that he was ready for a committed relationship and for what i can offer him, b/c what i have to offer him is a beautiful thing! but, i think he has learned a great deal through our last breakup...and he realizes how much i mean to him...and it sucks that it took him dating another girl, but it turned out for the best and that is the way he learned...it is different for everyone. i just feel that i am more grown up than him and thati am more in tune with who i am as a person...i don't have quite as many fears and insecurities that he still has. it would be nice if he could let go of them and grow into himself, but that is something only he can do on his own...
moonchild,
how are things going now? i can sense lots of love, but also some frustration...but i know what you want above all is for things to go better and better.
i thought you were in a committed relationship with him though, are you not?
i've been having some struggles too at times, about things that did happen in the past with my aqua that were a bit scary...but i have to make a choice each day to believe what she told me...because if i keep on letting myself doubt again our relationship will end soon again...so i want to give her more of my trust as time progresses...
i don't know about you mc, but for me...it feels as if sometimes i care about this girl SO much that i would be willing to jump in outer space to get her a star...but sometimes i get SO scared that i think just the opposite of that.
i never show it, and i'm getting MUCH better...but i defenitely need her reinforcement at this time to not freak out.
our break-up and struggles last year were hard sometimes...but i do believe we both have learned new things, and for whatever reason we have come to realize that we do care for each other more than what we would want sometimes...
so we can't fight the way we feel anymore...and here we are.
i think we all have fears moonchild, i just think we all express it differently...but aquas are defenitely hard to read at times.
so far everything is going really well though. i don't regret my choice at all, i just hope we both get a stronger relationship as time passes by.
vll
how are things going now? i can sense lots of love, but also some frustration...but i know what you want above all is for things to go better and better.
i thought you were in a committed relationship with him though, are you not?
i've been having some struggles too at times, about things that did happen in the past with my aqua that were a bit scary...but i have to make a choice each day to believe what she told me...because if i keep on letting myself doubt again our relationship will end soon again...so i want to give her more of my trust as time progresses...
i don't know about you mc, but for me...it feels as if sometimes i care about this girl SO much that i would be willing to jump in outer space to get her a star...but sometimes i get SO scared that i think just the opposite of that.
i never show it, and i'm getting MUCH better...but i defenitely need her reinforcement at this time to not freak out.
our break-up and struggles last year were hard sometimes...but i do believe we both have learned new things, and for whatever reason we have come to realize that we do care for each other more than what we would want sometimes...
so we can't fight the way we feel anymore...and here we are.
i think we all have fears moonchild, i just think we all express it differently...but aquas are defenitely hard to read at times.
so far everything is going really well though. i don't regret my choice at all, i just hope we both get a stronger relationship as time passes by.
vll
"because if i keep on letting myself doubt again our relationship will end soon again...so i want to give her more of my trust as time progresses..."
-this is very true...in the beginning when my aqua and i got back together and we started hanging out a lot again, i started to think about him and the other girl and i let it get to me big time. i would talk to him about it, and get really upset...and his response was that if i felt that i couldn't put it in the past and move on with him, then maybe we shouldn't give it a second chance. he thought we wouldn't be able to start over and move forward if i couldn't deal with it...and he was right. and i had to, and still am, building my trust back up again with him.
-this is very true...in the beginning when my aqua and i got back together and we started hanging out a lot again, i started to think about him and the other girl and i let it get to me big time. i would talk to him about it, and get really upset...and his response was that if i felt that i couldn't put it in the past and move on with him, then maybe we shouldn't give it a second chance. he thought we wouldn't be able to start over and move forward if i couldn't deal with it...and he was right. and i had to, and still am, building my trust back up again with him.
i agree with everything you have ssaid above, and you know i am in the same boat as you so i do feel the same way about everything.
and, yes, we are in a committed relationship...but sometimes i feel that i am the last priority for my aqua...everything else seems to come first, his work, his family, his friends, his hobbies, and then ME. i have talked to him about it before, and he doesn't get it b/c apparently he doesn't think he puts me last on the list. so maybe it is subconscious and he doesn't realize it. but, when we first started hanging out a few months ago, i was number one on his list. he would cancel plans with everyone else just to hang out with me...in fact, it was like i was the only thing existing in his world at that time!!! he told me he didn't care about anything or anyone else except for me...and now, 3 months later, i am once again finding myself being put on the back burner in his life.
and, yes, we are in a committed relationship...but sometimes i feel that i am the last priority for my aqua...everything else seems to come first, his work, his family, his friends, his hobbies, and then ME. i have talked to him about it before, and he doesn't get it b/c apparently he doesn't think he puts me last on the list. so maybe it is subconscious and he doesn't realize it. but, when we first started hanging out a few months ago, i was number one on his list. he would cancel plans with everyone else just to hang out with me...in fact, it was like i was the only thing existing in his world at that time!!! he told me he didn't care about anything or anyone else except for me...and now, 3 months later, i am once again finding myself being put on the back burner in his life.
that is the sense of commitment i am talking about...a deeper view of the meaning
"he says i worry too much. this is true. i like to have plans and stuff"
-yes, leokitten...that is exacty how i am...and my aqua says i worry too much all the time.
-yes, leokitten...that is exacty how i am...and my aqua says i worry too much all the time.
leokitten...do you ever discuss movement within your relationship with your aqua? i.e. moving in, marriage,kids, etc.
when my aqua and i got back together 3 months ago we talked about marriage and kids, but we haven't discussed it since then. i think we both want to feel stable with each other first...so, i don't mind taking things slowly...b/c i believe if you are going to do it, you should do it the right way.
when my aqua and i got back together 3 months ago we talked about marriage and kids, but we haven't discussed it since then. i think we both want to feel stable with each other first...so, i don't mind taking things slowly...b/c i believe if you are going to do it, you should do it the right way.
hmmm...leo maybe he is being strange about your gift for a reason...wink, wink
LOL..most men are packrats like that!!! that's why i don't live well with men b/c i like having my home clean and to my liking.
yeah, everyone is different about the pace they move in a relationship...
my aqua lived with his ex pretty soon after they started dating, and their relationship was a nightmare...so, i think now he is a little more cautious about moving in together so quickly.
my aqua lived with his ex pretty soon after they started dating, and their relationship was a nightmare...so, i think now he is a little more cautious about moving in together so quickly.
idk...i don't really believe in the long distance relationship thing, unless you have already had a relationship for a while and then you move away from each other...
but that's just me...
but that's just me...
you live an hour away from your bf? wow, that's kind of far! how often do you two see each other?
i live 2 hours from my aqua girlfriends leokitten...i know the feeling, except add another hour to that...
im okay with long-distance relationships seems like...all the girlfriends i had have lived in another city...i wonder why i do that.
BUT i defenitely need to know eventually i or the person i'm dating, in this case my aqua girl, will have to make a move to be closer.
we shall see.
p.s. i think aquas do okay in long-distance relationships. ive seen many of them get in those type of relationships.
im okay with long-distance relationships seems like...all the girlfriends i had have lived in another city...i wonder why i do that.
BUT i defenitely need to know eventually i or the person i'm dating, in this case my aqua girl, will have to make a move to be closer.
we shall see.
p.s. i think aquas do okay in long-distance relationships. ive seen many of them get in those type of relationships.
i live 2 hours from my aqua girlfriends leokitten...i know the feeling, except add another hour to that...
im okay with long-distance relationships seems like...all the girlfriends i had have lived in another city...i wonder why i do that.
BUT i defenitely need to know eventually i or the person i'm dating, in this case my aqua girl, will have to make a move to be closer.
we shall see.
p.s. i think aquas do okay in long-distance relationships. ive seen many of them get in those type of relationships.
im okay with long-distance relationships seems like...all the girlfriends i had have lived in another city...i wonder why i do that.
BUT i defenitely need to know eventually i or the person i'm dating, in this case my aqua girl, will have to make a move to be closer.
we shall see.
p.s. i think aquas do okay in long-distance relationships. ive seen many of them get in those type of relationships.
i meant girlfriend...singular word! before i get my butt kicked here!
vll
vll
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If you would say something like "sometimes I fear that I may be in-love with the idea of you", what would you mean by that?
Also, how can someone help you with that.
VLL