In-love with the idea? (Page 2)

leokitten,

you know what will be the hardest thing for you bf to leave behind if that is ever the case? ...his friends.

because i know my aqua gf can get another job easily in my city...and is not like she would cry if she would live further from her family...but the one topic that comes EVERYTIME we talk about relocating is her friends...first she would say "i will miss my life here so much though"..and after a long dicussion and careful analysis i realized that that statement means "what about my friends though?" for the most part 😉

i just i could squeeze her sometimes when she thinks she can save the world everyday.

she worries more about her friends problems than ours, lol, but i still want to squueze her again...because i love her just the way she is...

i think overtime she will feel more comfortable and safe in our relationship (im hoping).

so leokitten and moonchild...when we are talking about aquas next step...always always remember the "friends" part.

vll

lol 🙂

oh our aquas and their things....

vll

im okay with long-distance relationships seems like...all the girlfriends i had have lived in another city...i wonder why i do that.

virgs like to travel..experience new things and places.

figures your relationships are distant

p.s. i think aquas do okay in long-distance relationships. ive seen many of them get in those type of relationships.

absolutely. she'll get over it soon enough. besides, she'll find a whole new set of friends in that city. might take her a little adjustment but she'll get there.
as for the other friends. she'll be content with at least some piece of contact info: their phone #, e-mail address or mailing address. and never hurt to do a long goodbye too. ^_~

Aqua's & travel and long distance..

Well one key to me, is I do not care how far away from me you live. The only thing that matter is that when I need some attention and love, I get it. I am very patient and understanding, but when I am not getting the attention I need, I want things to end. Long distance.. no distance, we need attention when we need it. It does not have to be everyday (smothering), but it needs to be often enough and consistant.

Moving.. I don't mind moving and leaving my friends. My friends travel and so do I.. I love it. I talk to my friends every day.. just about, but I don't see them all that often. So as long as I can still spend quality time with them every few months I am good.

What RC said about making new friends is true too. New friends help new places feel more comfortable.. and it will happen, as we seem to attract people all the time. Magnetic personalities or something.. or maybe we're just good listeners.

I think it should be every now and then. but don't say it SO many times in one day.

once a day at least and twice at most, and it doesn't have to be every day. it can be every other day.

that's my aqua side. don't know about aquabrat's though.

usualcancer....
for me... once every two weeks is good, depending on the distance between us. If that is not possible then once a month is the max., 12x per year, and that can be an, "I'll drive to you this month, you drive to me next" type of thing.. but I would not let it go past one month seeing eachother.. this is because we can get attention from anyone and any attention will do, and for some strange reason, guys are always fascinated by us.. and that can be at work, on the drive home, at the store, we seem to be magnetic or something. So if it has been a long time since seeing the one we love and another is at our job, paying us the attention we crave from our lover, we will take it.. and that ain't good. Because then "HE" is in our minds, instead of the one we love, and we see "HIM" everyday and we see the one we love, occasionally.. get my drift. However, if we are satisfied in the relationship "HE" does not matter, no matter how much attention he pays, because (normally) we are very loyal people. But loyality has it's limits, when it comes to matters of the heart, so don't push it.😉

oh and consistant... set a day each month.. Okay the third weekend of the month is our time with eachother.. that way your aqua can let her imagination run wild planning what she wants to do with you for that one weekend she spends with her sweety. We know it's coming up and we can plan everything around it. Or if you do the every other weekend thing, the same concept applies.. a consistant plan is the best way to get the maximum results out of an aqua.. and try your darndest not to cancel. If I know I am going to be seeing my guy on x date.. I get my hair done, manicure and pedicure, house smellin' good, get a new outfit.. etc. but if he calls and cancels after I have done all that.. the next time, I may do the same, but after several cancelled dates, the extra stuff stops and you get whatever you get and you do not want us to approach your time with us with that attitude. Believe me, if we know we are a priority to you, we will make it worth your while..🙂

AMEN, SISTER!!!!

high 5 RC...

"So if it has been a long time since seeing the one we love and another is at our job, paying us the attention we crave from our lover, we will take it.. and that ain't good. Because then "HE" is in our minds, instead of the one we love, and we see "HIM" everyday and we see the one we love, occasionally.. get my drift."

-WOW!!! this is exactly what happened between my aqua bf and i...apparently i was not paying him enough attention and he was going to this bar everyday after work where the girl who bartended would pay him (and his friends)tons of attention ...and so, he ended up leaving me for her...until he realized she wasn't what he thought she was and he also realized that he still had strong feelings for me.

and to add to that...at that point in our relationship, we were both unhappy...so it was his out. he wasn't into our relationship at the time and he felt i wasn't putting in any effort, so he ran to the girl who was giving him the attention thinking it would work and that it would eliminate his feelings for me...but that didn't happen.

so, aquarianbrat...your explanation above was very well put...and i know you are female, but it sounds exactly like my aqua bf!!!

ditto moonchild story. great analysis aquarianbrat! great points to remember reiniba!

even though my aqua girl didn't leave me for anyone when we ended things (for what i know). while i started dating my xlibra girl after she dated a guy she knew/kjows from work...

i had to be VERY open minded and understandig with this situation since they still work at the same hospital to this day...but i didn't have any other choice but to believe things between them were over before she and i recently got back.

she and i are VERY different in that sense...bc i would never see myself dating or havign a weird situatiion with anyone at work...that is a 'no no' for me. also, i usually tend to date people i meet, not friends...so it was very weird for me to understand that.

either way, question for you girls, how can you tell when someone got in your "mind" other than your bf/gf and would you break up with someone as soon as you realize that? what would be the deal breaker otherwise? or is it common for you guys to have someone in your "mind" while dating someone else?

vll
p.s. happy holidays!!

p.s.2: and as far as the long distance relationship inputs...my aqua girl and i talk 1 or 2 times per day, because our schedules are different, but when we talk we do it for 5 to 10 minutes...we also email each other once a week or so...and we see each other once a week...or try to. do you think that is enough? im veru consistent in my communication w her, i just wish we could talk a bit more.

hey vll...happy holidays!!! did you have a good xmas with your aqua?
i had an amazing xmas weekend with mine...very, very romantic and fun!!!

mc,

yes we did have a great one. we met the day before xmas. we did have one little argument about something in the past...but we discussed openly (she is getting better at that) and we ended up having a wonderful night. she cooked spagetti for me!! 🙂 and i got her all the gifts she wanted!

we are having issues in the physical department, but it is bc i think i'm scared...i;m still trying to sink in into the idea that she truly loves me...being intimate for me and feeling it...is not that simple...i need to feel wanted, you know.

so i think what she and i need to work on is to make sure we express to each other those feelings properly...to make each other more confident of that love...otherwise it ain't gonna happen lol.

"so i think what she and i need to work on is to make sure we express to each other those feelings properly...to make each other more confident of that love...otherwise it ain't gonna happen lol."

-absolutely...that is what my aqua and i have to do...reassure one another and express how we feel. and he has gotten soooo much better at expressing things and handling situations in a better manner. and that shows me that he is trying to do it the "right" way...and in turn, i am showing him much more attention than i used to and i am also encouraging him to come out of his shell and be comfortable with himself. i think we are a lot more comfortable around each other this time around.
and, we still get into little stupid fights sometimes, but now we resolve them right away...whereas, he used to hold a grudge and not talk to me and not get over it until the next day.

my aqua and i have no problems in the physical department!!! that is the one area of our relationship that needs no work at all! we are soooo physically attracted to one another...but that certainly does not hold a relationship together.

VLL..."how can you tell when someone got in your "mind" other than your bf/gf and would you break up with someone as soon as you realize that? what would be the deal breaker otherwise? or is it common for you guys to have someone in your "mind" while dating"

I was married for three years and the whole time I could do nothing but think of my best-friend (male) all the time. I fanaticized about him, I roll-played convo's we'd had or ones I wanted to have with him, I wrote about him? and my ex never knew. He just always thought I was distant, but never cared to find out why. He was just always angry.. and that made me fantasize even more about someone who was nice to me, made me laugh and loved me for me and I made my best friend that person, because he is perfect.

So to answer your question, you'll never know and she will not leave you unless you mess up. Aquas are loyal no matter what. Our deal breakers are usually huge ones that even an insane person would not stay though. Little things hurt us but just make us delve into our fantasy's more. We can live like that for quite some time.. bc we are satisfied, we have a real warm body to be with, and we have our fantasy guy (in our mind). If you are spending adequate time with your aqua and you break up, then something else is wrong in the relationship. If she is always distant.. you have to do like I said and make sure YOU are in her mind all the time.. give her things to think about, ask deep questions and talk about controversial issues.. we like that. Challenge her intellect. Smart men, will always be very appealing and captivating to us, we love to learn from the men we love..

Amen. You are too good, Aquabrat. I hope I'm like you when I get to your age. hehe

mc, good to hear things are better this time.
i read your other post...and yes no worries this time im MUCH more open with my aqua girl...about things that bother me and such...because it is important for me to understand and if she wants to be with me she'll have to be patience too, bc she did hurt me in the past, so we both have to work towards restoring a lot of things. stay strong buddy!

aquarianbrat,

as usual, awesome inputs. THANK YOU so much for being so honest and open here. i am too when i talk about virgos if it can help anyone.

im all about deep subjects and controversial discussions...lol...and also about giving my aqua girl homeword to do or think about....such as ideas for our first trip!!

i think the one thing i have hard time figuring out is...the whole fantasizing wordl you guys live in sometimes.

last year in new years eve, she got in trouble because a guy who was checking her out all night asked her in front of me "if she thought it was normal to lust after people...even when one was in a relationship"....i was right there next to her when he asked that, and she said "yes, it is"...they gave each other a weird look. i was pissed!

then on the way home i wouldn't talk so much about it, but i was mad.

eventually we talked about it and she kind o apologize.

the next day, a friend of us call me and then her non-stop....

she ended up confessing that "that one guy" (who is a friend of us) has texted her and said "if VLL isn't that interested in you, I would love to take you for a date"...AGH...yeah, she got the message that night but didn't tell me until the very next day.

he was an acquaintance of us, so i was very disspointed at him...and thought her comment may have led him on a bit too.

so...needless to say, my new year's experience with her last year wasn't the best. i left my friends to see hers, the guy was there, the whole ackward situation happened (i had no idea)...she supposedly had sent a text message by mistke to him (which i could believe giving her clueless aqua ways sometimes)...

point is....it was bad.

this year, she has to work, so we won;t be able to spend new year's eve together...so it sucks, bc i really wish she could be there w me that day, but she thinks that holiday is "overrated" and said she couldnt take that day off.

which means, ill spend it with friends and family...and it is ok...but i have to watch out for myself...bc like you guys, when Virgos dont get the attention

we find it somewhere else.

right now i got some girls willing to date me...and they are wonderful, but my heart is with my aqua, i just hope she doesn't take for granted what we have.

other than that things are going great though. im looking forward to take a trip with her.

ill miss her in new year's eve this year...but ill have to trust her...and be patience...and be very good, i wont put myself in situations i shouldnt for the sake of my relationship. i may stay with my family that night and/or hang out w the guys only for a while.

vll

lol ok the wuss comment i won't take it personal...but i know you didnt mean it in a bad way.

leokitten, what would you do differently about new years eve though? i mean id love to see her, but if she says she can't take the day off...then i can't make big deal out of it...unless id assume that she is making it up...and assuming isn't a good thing w aquas.

as far as the story of last year....well, i believe she learned her lesson. she did apologize many times...and even cried when she saw me the first time ater the break-up. so i had to learn to get over the things she did in the past and hope that we both will both have a better future.

what in specific makes you think that she is tramplin me a bit?

leokitten,

i know there are many factors that could make me doubt the intentions my aqua has in many ways...but if i dont choose to trust her in everything she says...i wont be able to have a good relationship with her. i want to believe more this time...and if im wrong, well, at least i'll know that i did what i could in my part.

she knows what i dont like, trust me, but i also love her enough that ill be patience about certain things and choose my battles. new year's eve is very special for me...and i wish she could be here and try harder to be here, but in the big context of things...she loves me for what i know, and so one holiday in the realm of all things...is just a detail that wont make me stumble. i need to constantly remember the big picture with this aqua girl...because if i focus too much all the rest of the details i can lose sight and i may miss a chance to see if this was truly love if that is what it is.

i want to know. im willing to shift my focus for a bit.

vll...where does your aqua work that she would be at work so late— she's going to be working until midnight? if she works at a bar/ restaurant, why don't you just go there and surprise her at midnight—

Hi...mc and leokitten...

Well, she's a nurse. So she works in a hospital. I live 2 hours away from her.
I would be all about driving there just to see her at midnight even only for few minutes.

But she works at nigth shifts there, so I don't know how busy she will be....plus you both know how aquas are...I dont want to bother her...or make her uncomfortable at her work if I come unexpectedly...mmm...but I could consider that...I don't know...do you think she will like it...I dont know if aquas like surprises at work though...and would it fun to drive 2 hours there and 2 hours back just to see her briefly? Id do it in a heartbeat...but what if she had plans to celebrate it with her friends...I'll ask her tonight about which hospital she will be working at just in case 😉

I guess I was having a bit of a problem understanding her schedule...because usually she does have a choice about days she wants to work...and sometimes she talks with friends to work instead for her, so my gut feeling is that she just doesn't want to celebrate NYE this year because she got in trouble in her relationships during that time and also because there arent any parties she may like to go to...or anything like that...and she knows she can see me a day after or so...

My step of BIG trust comes into play...because the guy she dated after we broke up and before we got back together works at the hospital too, in fact he is one of her bosses...but she says they are only good friends now and that she ended things with him as soon as she saw me again and realized how much she still loved me. She also says he works in the morning....but now that I think about it, why would he be her boss then huh?...hmmm got to ask some questions about that.

Could I be all worried about her maybe making an excuse to not come here...to either spend that night somewhere else OR spend it there because he will be around...yes...but am I? Not so much. I guess I'm afraid to worry about it in vain, to be wrong and make her mad...and also to even put ideas like that in her head...

But I defenitely need to ask some few questions tonight just in case. Good points ladies...

hmmm...vll, i see why you are wondering. i think i would feel a little uneasy if my aqua worked with the girl he dated when we were broken up...well, that girl works at a bar that he used to visit every day, and now he hasn't been there for months, as far as i know! anyway, it probably wouldn't sit well with me. but, if she has you in mind...i wouldn't worry about it.
maybe you should see if she could get her shift covered by someone, and tell her you made dinner plans for the two of you. tell her you want to have a special night with her b/c it means a lot to you to spend new years together...

i doubt that she would want to spend a romantic evening on NYE mc...

she is all about people and not so much in the romantic side, even though she can be very very sweet. she is all about gathering, friends, and activities...i can do either.

we had that night before xmas the two of us, very nice. even though she spent it reading her book at night, lol...the rest of the night was good...not perfect but good enough to make me feel ok with everything.

i think 3 questions that just came to my mind after discussin this subject here are:

1 - if that guy she dated works in the morning, how come he was her boss and how did they meet?
2 - what hospital (she works at two) would she be working on that night?
3 - which ones of her friends there know that she and i got back together?

because moonchild...i have told ALL my friends here about us. we even have been hanging out with some of them here when she comes.
but i havent seen any of hers when i go there...and she had a wedding she sort of invited me to go while i was there visiting but then she said it was brief thing so i didn't ended up going...which is not a big deal...sometimes i think she is either very insecure about a lot of things (two of her friends dont like me much bc she talk crap about me when we broke up, and she recognizes that..and she said they both are jelaous of her time) and/or she is still playing mind games with me...but i doubt that is the 2nd option, because she seems VERY sincere about her intentions now.

aquas can be very missunderstood as you know...so i need to be careful about thinking anything negative before it is necessary.

i just dont want to feel like she is cancelling on me because she would rather spend time there with her friends and/or someone at the hospital ya know...that is all i would need to make sure is not happening.

im super understanding in many ways..and im willing to be extremely open-minded and patience with her...but honesty is the most important thing...

we are talking tonight on her way to work, i'll let you guys know what she says about each of those questions.

vll

well, vll...you have to just trust her. but that sucks that you cannot spend new years with her, and that she is not romantic at all...what's up with that— and to me, it seems that you would want to be with a romantic girl...someone you can shower with love and affection, etc. i think you really need to ask yourself if she is the type of girl you REALLY want to be with. i can understand if she is not all mushy, or lovey-dovey with you...fine, but she can't be romantic with you every once in a while? would it kill her— that just seems lame to me that she wouldn't want to spend more one on one time with you every so often.
my aqua is very independent and can be pretty distant sometimes, but when it is just the two of us...(which is a lot of the time)...he is super affectionate and romantic with me. i just couldn't imagine being with someone that always had to be around their friends...i could understand in the beginning of a relationship when you don't feel completely comfortable yet being one on one...but you two have been together for a while now. she shouldn't be that insecure about it...

well...i agree.

this time around though, she and i have been spending more time together, i think the distance makes it harder and also just her insecurities with her friends (not letting them down and what they think).
she does have her romantic moments here and there and i love them when they come.
im defenitely more in-tune with that though haha...who would think. i think she likes that about me too.

see, im not asking her for much, other than to be honest with me and to make an effort to communicate her fears with me about our relationship.

i accept her the way she is, im very independent as well. but so much has happened in the past...that in order to heal completely we will need to have talks and also a lot of trust.

is just little details that make me wonder about her effort in the relationship...such as the wedding i could have gone with her (i even knew the friends who were marrying) but didnt bc she acted like it wasn't a big deal...or NYE...things that may not mean much to her, but for me are...bc i got other people here such as exes and new friends that are trying so hard to have a time with me...and i always try to be careful about all that...and i prioritize seeing her and spending important times like NYE with her...so it takes a little more effort to understand why she couldn't. i know you know what i mean.

maybe she means well, but i just think sometimes she doesnt think about how choices she makes affect me.

i do love her though...

oh and yes she knows how i feel about certain things...i do speak out my issues about things more so than before, but she always has a way to talk to me to make me feel better about it all...as if there was nothing i should ever worry about.

maybe you need to stop putting her before your friends...do not make her your first priority, since she doesn't seems to put you first...and then see what happens.

yes, you are right about the above...i can guarantee she does NOT realize the way she affects you by saying or doing certain things. what may seem like a big deal to you is probably pretty insignificant to her...that is how it is with my aqua and i. the way to deal with it though is through communication. when my aqua says/does something that hurts me or bothers me, i simply tell him how i feel. and 99% of the time, he wouldn't have realized how it affected me if i hadn't said something. he doesn't mean to hurt me, but we are two very different people that react to things differently.
for example, this past weekend we went awya for a few days...so we were at this bar and i wanted to get a picture of the two of us. well, he was not in the mood for a picture and he told me "no", and i didn't see what the big deal was...why couldn't we take a picture? but, he was not having it at all...so, of course i got a little upset with him...and then he made a comment saying "it's not like we don't have enough pictures already of the two of us"...and then i got really upset b/c that comment really hurt me. i don't look at things in that perspective and to me it was a rude comment. i didn't see what the big deal was about taking a picture, and he didn't understand why not taking a picture was such a big deal!!! see the difference 😉...anyway, i told him how i felt about it and he told me how he felt about it and about 20 minutes later everything was ok again. and then the next day, while getting breakfast, he told me that i could take all the pictures i wanted...and he made it a point to tell me that again later on that day...

"she always has a way to talk to me to make me feel better about it all...as if there was nothing i should ever worry about."

-that's too funny b/c that is exactly how my aqua is with me...he always tells me there is nothing to worry about!!!

well, mc, i don't know how things will go from here on...

i just talked with my aqua and i kinda broke things off.

i just found out that she had not tell anyone there...her friends that she and i got back together.

she and i have said "i love yous" to each other. we have made plans about the future. once again i left a relationship i could have had for her...and she is again...unable to get over her insecurities about what her friends think and say...

i dont know what she could have said to them that i did that is SO bad for her to tell them that we are back now...it dissapoints me...

i have told everyone in my life about us...because ive been so excited...

she says that she loves me so much...

why couldn't she tell her friends the truth?

no wonder why i couldnt go to the wedding...and why i wont see her for NYE...

i doubt that there is another person, or maybe there is...but one thing for sure is that she should have been strong enogh (as she protrays to be) to be honest with her friends about what is going on between us.

i dont think she is ready for what i was willing to give her...

...

awwww. I see, VLL. I have a struggle about that with the virg I am dealing with.
Telling not only my friends but my parents and family as well. It's not that I can't be honest. not at all, VLL. I just need to respect my family and friends when they disagree with the person I am with. For some reason when a virg and aqua get together their morals are so different. the morals of our friends and family though, are probably the same.

IT takes time for us to tell these people the truth about this thing.
I had to explain this to him. If I tell my parents now about my feelings, they will not let me speak to him ever again.

I'm not totally sure how it is with her, but I'm just telling you my experience and that it might be the same. you might want to cut her some slack. remember: we are very loyal to those we've been with a long time....

reiniba...

i understand not telling your family yet, but why not your friends. aren't you aquas that have such close relationships with friends? true friends accept you for who you are...and that includes your feelings and love towards someone...

she not telling the truth to her friends for all these months makes me feel like either:

1 - she is dishonest to both her friends and me
2 - she is insecure about her friends reactions
3 - she is hiding something that i don't know

ive been so honest and open in my wordl reiniba...

before we got back together we dated for a little over a year. her friends know me, and the majority of them do like me tons...it is just 1 or 2 that have issues with me...and it is because she talked really bad things about me with them when we broke up (she said that herself). i forgave her because i was thinking...she didn't handle the break-up well...but here we are months after...i recieved her back in my world with my arms wide open. cut all ties with anyone i was seeing before or that could be a threat to our relationship...and here she is....being insecure or dishonest again....i just dont find any other reason why she wouldn't have told them by now.

she has gone to concerts, wedddings, and lots of activities with them these months...she had PLENTY of time to tell them about us...and i didn't do anything at all to them...shouldn't she be proud to be with me again and tell them??

she said she has told some of them that we were "hanging out"....and that is BS bc we weren't just "hanging out"...we told each other i love yous many times, we were even planning about our future together...she claims she loves me so much....

what do i have to be a secret?

ooooooooooh yeah.

how long back you been back together, VLL?

because honestly, I do have one friend that knows about the virg that I like but BEFORE we started being friends again, yes we were talking bad about him and I was talking bad about him. and yes, just like she did, I tld him about the bad things we said.


Guess what, VLL, sweetie just like her I haven't told that friend yet either. ^__^

but honey, darling, sweetheart. I WILL tell that friend in TIME.


Now, though, is not the right time. it is way tooo soon. I do not want my friend and family to get the impression that I quickly moved RIGHT back in a relationship with this person that I was talking bad about, so soon.

cause then they'll immmediately think what??

yes, they'll think I'm the two-faced, two-sided, two-hearted biatch.

now that's why I can't. and I can't tell you that it's exactly the same with her..

but I can tell you that we're both guilty of it. I've told you the reason. go check up with her.

i think so...and it sucks because i really thought things would be different this time. she has to many insecurities to overcome...and she isn't honest with everyone in her life...including me and her so called "friends"...

i sent her an e-mail today...i wonder what she will have to say.

one of her excuses is that she has only seen her friends in social events and so there wasnt much time (BS!) and also she says i'm just looking for any excuse to fight..and that i should be more consistent on being happy with her (yeah that is a great answer to the questions i have!)

blah...

man. she hasn't learned a THING about virgo has she? o_O

she doesn't even know that you're the nicest virgo of all the time. hell, I wouldn't be arguing with one.

maybe it would help if she did know about virg. I can tell you right now, I don't give the virg I'm friends with that much heartache because I do know how he is.

that might help you know.

"she says i'm just looking for any excuse to fight.."

-my aqua says that to me all the time!!!

vll...you cannot put any pressure on her or push her to do anything...but if it bothers you so much that she has not told her friends about the two of you, than maybe you shouldn't be with her. i am sure that she did not tell her friends b/c she was afraid they would think less of her or something to that effect...basically she is insecure in the situation. she wants to maintain a certain reputation with her friends...so she doesn't tell them about you two...it has nothing to do with you at all, and it doesn't mean she loves you any less. it just comes down to her being insecure. it's too bad though...she should realize that if they are her true friends, they will accept her no matter what she does, taking you back or not.

you did tell her your rules right, VLL?

you better tell her all your virgo requirements. she's not psychic.

if you set the rules for us. we will understand and not break them out of respect. but you better not break your own rules..o.o

that's just rules in general

I agree with you moonchild. just ask her why she didn't tell them. and threaten her a little bit because she did want to get back with you. sometimes you have to treat us like a child..>_>;

mc...

yeah i know she should take her time to say things...but if she isn't honest with her closest friends for months now, how can i trust she is with me??
there have been some events i havent felt invited to every since we got back...such as wedddings, concerts, atuff like that...and in my mind now...it seems like the main reason why is bc she didn't want her friends to see me with her or for me to act like we were together...since we were!!! what a mess.

she is all about keeping her image in front of her friends, so much so, that she would rather lie to them.

sigh. i wonder if she lies to me too...it sucks.

well i sent her the email...and told her what i think.

part of me wishes i could call her friends and tell them how fooled they have been too, thinking she and i aren't even talking yet...but of course i won't do that. if i leave i'll leave with respect. if she decides to tell them the truth (as opposed to making up something) she will have to do it on her own.

reiniba,

the rules point is good....but some rules are unspoken in relationships, dont you think?

i mean, would it be expected that if we are together now for months she wouldnt hide that from her friends for this long...knowing that i have also had friends that didnt like her and yet STILL i did tell them the truth right from the start?

would you mirrow someone's action...and weeks after think..."maybe i should tell my friends the truth now"?

reiniba...she does love me and she does want to get back. she says she didn't tell them bc she hasn't had much time, which it isn't true bc she has seen them for months now...so she isn't telling me truth, most likely is the "image" thing. i did tell her last night that until she isn't open with her friends about us, then i wont have much to give to her, is that the type of threat you were thinking of?

thank you for your words friends...

vll...i thought you two just recently got back together...it hasn't been months, has it? maybe you should give her more time to settle with all of this before you get upset...but then again, it may be a sign of things to come...and if you are unhappy with her ways now, it could only get worse if you stay with her.

how appropriate!!! that song "love stinks" is playing right now!!!

lol...you are making me laugh right now mc...thanks, its been a rough day.

yeah, ill think about all this some more...but defenitely wont turn my back around unless she shows me that she truly as nothing to hide to her friends and me OR that she can get over her insecurities about the image she portrays.

maybe i shouldn't have been so mad about it...but it just makes me feel like she isn't always honest with everyone and that this is the reason why i wasn't invited to any of the recent event...it has to do with honesty.

love bites!!

a lot of times with aquas, you need to just chill and relax...don't read into everything so much and don't get worked up about something that you don't really know about. i think you just need to talk to her about everything you have been telling us on here...let her know what's going on. but, don't give up on her so quickly...

reiniba...she does love me and she does want to get back. she says she didn't tell them bc she hasn't had much time, which it isn't true bc she has seen them for months now...so she isn't telling me truth, most likely is the "image" thing. i did tell her last night that until she isn't open with her friends about us, then i wont have much to give to her, is that the type of threat you were thinking of?

well give her a deadline to tell her friends. tell her if she doesn't meet that deadline then you're not going to be in a relationship with her, she wil have no more chances left.

you HAVE to give her a deadline. because when it comes to not giving aquas deadlines...you think we'll take it seriously? do you think we'll jump RIGHT off our seat and do what we know is the right thing to do? nope, we won't. we'll take our sweet time if you don't give us a deadline.

if she loves you enough after you tell her the deadline..she will do it RIGHT AWAY.

kk?

k...but i thought aquas didn't like to be told what to do...wouldn't that push her away even further? id understand if somebody gave me one though.

last night she texted me in the middle of the night, seems as if she couldn't sleep. she said if i loved her id fight or arauq about things...and that i was picking up a figth (like mc's bf says) but i was smart about my responses.

she kept on texting me, but i ignored her last 2 text messages...in one them she texted me her best friend's phone number, telling me "here is --- number, she is in ---- you can call her right now and tell her, i haven't seen her since sunday"

she KNOWS very well i wouldnt call her friend, that is not my obligation first of all....see how she changes and tried to shift things? clever i know, but it didn't work.

she is crazy if she thinks *i* am supposed to call HER friends to let them know we are back together....what a wuss...she would rather make me do it. sure, then she could come back with a new story i wouldn't ever know to them again...who knows.

either way. i send her an e-mail today, i'll wait to see her reply. if she is undersatanding, apologetic, and makes some sense...i may give her a chance...and give her a deadline or so...if she is not, then i'm through with her complicated, two-sided butt.

vll