Inexperience vs. Fixed Sign...different techniques

So everything is going so far between Aqua Dude and myself. He's been trying hard to communicate and I see that but I also don't expect him to be 100% different either which is okay.

I also do know that half the work has to come from me in not reverting back to my scorpio ways and expecting him to be different than who he is but yet at the same time making sure that i'm not sacrificing 100% of myself.

Every relationship whether it be familial or whatever needs to have 50/50 comprimise.

Just curious from anyone's perspective, is I know they are friendly creatures. He stated before he's doing it as part of a building rapport/but setting boundaries kind of way. At least that's going on in his head. But what is coming out of his mouth is totally different. It's creating all these situations for him that he doesn't like or is exasperated by but at the same time is in denial that its even happening.

I've come to the conclusion a long time ago he's creating his own self delusions and I know this so half the time I am not offended by any of this but the other half of the time I get annoyed and I am trying hard to not do so because sometimes it ruins my entire day and affects how I treat him.

For instance, his being super friendly with everyone but has his "off" behavior with me. Which is fine if his true nature is off. I get that but it still bothers me. I spend my time bonding with everyone else like i normally would in life...mingling around etc. etc.

But he will interrupt our conversation and butt in. I get that he wants to be a part of it in his own weird way but it almost comes across as being rude. Yes I've brought it up before and no he will not change. Fixed signs!!!

But I guess what I'm really wondering is if anyone has any suggestions on how I can utilize those communication attemps as rude or weird as they come off as and spin it around to where I don't get annoyed. I was thinking of bringing him into the conversation even though he just butt in.

In the past I totally just ignored his butting in but all that did was get him to communicate less.

haha. boy this one needs to be trained 😛

haha love that photo. But its more about me and what I can do to adjust and encourage the positive aqua qualities instead of being annoyed by it.

Totally agree.

That's why I'd rather figure out how to not be annoyed and just embrace it. I mean he can be a dope all he wants and creates his own problems (which always happens and then he bitches about it). That's easy for me to handle because it always bites him in the ass and that's his own lesson to learn.


What I'm talking about is handling situations where he's too excited and he just like throws himself into things I'm doing. Which is great he's taking an interest but sometimes its just too much. But the times where I've said that in the past it hurts his feelings and he does the other extreme and AVOID to not make the siutation worse.

That's why I'm trying to find a way to be able to handle this on/off thing...its either I'm being smothered cause he's being territorial or i'm being ignored and it's never at the right moments...its always backwards.

Anyway like i said its more about me trying to not want to kick him in the nutsack 😄

@hudra its not a couple thing.

I enjoy his company but sometimes he's just like this excited puppy dog running around throwing himself into conversations but i would say 75% of the time he's throwing himself in my conversations. He can approach me about anything related to me anytime but he doesn't. What he does is eaves dropping my conversations and listening to things I talk about and then he'll bring it up like 30 days later.

If he's not doing that then when I'm trying to bond with everyone else he tries to hijack the conversation or butt in. Sometimes it's ENOUGH already. Pace yourself god damn it! Or at least wait until you're invited into the conversation.

He did it today. He was talking to aqua #2 and after they were done talking aqua #2 approached me and asking how i am and cracking jokes with me and we were talking about some restaurant he wanted to eat at and so I was asking him about the restaurant.

I guess aqua #1 was listening cause he butt in and was answering the questions I was asking #2.

It's like dude I wasn't talking to you x(

air and water dominant Justin Deeley (DUDE!!!! surfs up) j/k

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"this is why i stopped playing football!" he says.

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Dude, aquas are awkward and annoying but lovable weirdos. Just accept it. In fact I have found nearly every aqua guy I know loves it when you treat them like you would a puppy. Ain't it cute. A little scratch behind the ear. A few. Good boys! Lol. Or when aqua guy is being annoying give him a "bad boy go sit in the corner!" Lol. You can almost see their imaginary tails go between their legs as they scamper off.

I wish I was kidding.

Omg this one acts like an eager puppy half the time and then a little kid the other half of the time.

Weird thing is i can handle kids but I can't handle puppies or kittens and it's all the same thing!!

I'm just frustrated sometimes because he either is clueless or Doesbt care that he creates problems. Such as yesterday I asked a mutual friend for a favor if they can give me a ride to an important appointment.

Aqua overheard as he kept butting in constantly yesterday. So I went to grab my things and then we were gonna leave. Aqua went to that person of all people to chit chat with and distracted him. So I got irritated and I said to the friend hey I gotta go gonna be late"

Guess what aqua kept talking to him. I'm like seriously. The friend kept saying over and over to Aqua we gotta go!

Because of that I was late to an important appointment. It's those kinds of situations that is the problem I'm trying to handle calmly.

Not necessary him making ppl late but his laissez faire kinda behavior towards creating complications like it's no big deal.

He's been talked to about this many times by me and others and he shrugs it off!

But yet hell bitch if ppl do it to him and it's like don't bitch if you do it to others constantly.

Wow. I can't believe people actually feel the need to vent so profusely about such trivial crap. If he's THAT annoying, why are you bothering? Also just remember, the world doesn't revolve around you, maybe other people don't find him as annoying as you do.

you wouldn't think so if you were here!

I even poised it other laid back signs I know IRL and even they say its weird and annoying.

So thanks for ht insults melodies!!!!!! 😄

In the end I kept thinking of the puppy dog "analogy" and it actually worked in the same way as people suggesting you imagine everyone naked when giving presentations.

It helped calm the nerves but maybe its a love/hate thing...eh it happens. So I'll keep trying that and see if it helps.

I wasn't trying to be insulting. I just think if such small things are annoying you so much then maybe it's not worth it. Maybe he's not as annoying as you think and you just clash. I can see how it would be annoying, I'm just not so sure it would bother me if I actually liked the person.

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by thisiscrap2
haha love that photo. But its more about me and what I can do to adjust and encourage the positive aqua qualities instead of being annoyed by it.

Just accept him for who he is. It should be so easy for you if he's just a "good buddy" as you described him. That's the good thing about friendship. You don't have to worry about the bad habits of a friend. You don't tend to want to train your friends on how to be better people. The stuff you complain about is kind of petty (on a friendship level). It's not like he's being destructive to his livelihood or anyone else's. If he's more than a friend (or you want him to be) keep it real and say so. As it is, all of this strategizing and analysis just doesn't make sense.

The biggest adjustment you can make is to actually just be his friend. See him as a friend. Accept him as you would a friend.

You're coming across as someone who's in love and contemplating a future with someone but that someone needs fixing if they're gonna be your husband one day.

If he's too irritating to be around then leave him alone. If he comes around asking why you haven't been around, be honest enough to tell him (not the gemini intermediary). "I'm tired of you being rude so I went over there ---->" Then leave him to do whatever he will.

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This. Sugarfoot has some very wise words of wisdom.

Posted by dirtymelodies
I wasn't trying to be insulting. I just think if such small things are annoying you so much then maybe it's not worth it. Maybe he's not as annoying as you think and you just clash. I can see how it would be annoying, I'm just not so sure it would bother me if I actually liked the person.

Its only annoying in the sense that he keeps doing shit and never owns up to it. That's a pet peeve of mine, being in denial of problems he's causing leaving everyone else to clean it up and thinking its okay to keep doing that. Multiple people have brought it up to him before.

Everyone has faults but to disregard them is another thing in itself. But whatever. I'll keep doing everything i can to not pay attention and keep doing my own thing. Otherwise he will go to the corner 😄

so FW, your saying if Aqua starts shit and causes trouble for others, they don't care?

I'm sorry but that's a rude thing to believe in. That's not nice especially if they get mad when people do it to them.

I'll give you an example.

Aqua man had a scorpio male friend and a leo female friend. Both are friends have always been a douche bags to people. It's well known in the circle and you could tell it from the beginning. Being the way aqua is, aqua didn't judge of course. It always made us befuddled that he didn't care they were douchebags.

But in the end scorpio male and leo female friend ended up being a douche bag to him like they were to everyone else and he got pissed and what did he do. He bitched and moaned about it to me. I said to him every single time he brought it up "You do realize they were like this from the beginning and your just barely getting upset about it now? They are no different now than they were in the beginning."

And all he said was "well..." and what does he do...til this day he bitches about them every chance he gets.

That's what I mean. Everyone warned him that those two people were trouble and were going to create trouble for him and because he is doing nothing about it, its gonna create trouble for everyone else that knows aqua.

Guess what it happened. Because he didn't cut it off from the beginning not only is his life complicated but now everyone else is going through this drama. Granted it isn't his fault those two people are douchebags but we personally wouldn't have been affected if he just listened.

But like you all say they do whatever they want. But having to deal with his poor decisions is annoying. You can't blame us for that.

Posted by flowingwater

What I'm saying is what a Scorp would get butt hurt over an aqua wouldn't even blink an eye for. Your sensitivity is so high compared to us. So yes, in a semi mean concept.. Aquas are not going to sulk with you because we don't think its worth sulking over. Remember, we are a logical sign. So if your mad about something I did but I have come to conclusion after rationally thinking that your being dramatic about it... Hell no I don't care. You can roll around in your pool of tears if that makes you feel better. You scorps let emotions take over EVERYTHING in your lives. We are not like that, which is why aquas only get sad/mad/angry if it's worth investing emotions in.
You are also a very controlling sign. For an aqua man, that's a huge turn off when a women tries to dominate him. He can obviously read that off you which is why he is skiddish with you. Sometimes he's there. Sometimes he's not. He likes you but doesn't like your possessive emotional ways.

But that's the thing I haven't been possessive and/or emotional in eons and/or at all and I have been distant/aloof or whatever trying to regain some sense of balance away from him so I don't go crazy. But even that has backfired because he seems to think that the other people I'm trying to get to know are apparently are my BFFs or something and he uses them as convincing reasons to get me to attend to things he wants to go do. Those "other" people are freinds like all of our other friends...they aren't special to me more than anyone else. He's still #1 and always has been and even when other people told him that, he was surprised. How the heck is he surprised.

I didn't want to smother him or be emotional so I took my distance, now he seems to think he doesn't matter to me. I don't know what I can do to get him to understand he's always been #1, I am just trying to give him space like aquas want and if he wants to talk to me all he has to do is talk to me, include me in his conversations, invite me places etc. But instead of doing all of the normal stuff.

He'll do this alternating ignoring me in front of others thing and then hijack my conversations in other instances. Doing that is unnecessary.

All he has to do is talk to me. None of this, gauging...observing...judging my mood shit. My mood has been normal around him for a long time.

Let me break it down like this:

Most occassions (75% of the time) we get along great. We're both independent and operate do our own thing. We both understand that about each other but we also for whatever reason keep each other in mind in terms of where he goes...I go and vice versa. It's a weird dynamic but that's how it is in our "HEADS". In terms of my actions, I actually play that thought out. I do have his needs in mind when I do things that he may benefit from or may be interested in.

But because he is who he is and is dopey on occasion even though he has my best interests in mind he has a tendency to change his mind every second. Typical aqua trait I know. But then there are days where he surprises me.

Where this whole thing goes wrong is, he has this image of women in his head as they are the pants wearers. It stems from childhood and how he was raised and his 2 exes the most recent one was very domineering and bossy and jealous. So he has that ingrained in his head. Sure I am very independent and intelligent and I know what I want. I'm a fixed sign but underneath it all I'm emotional, sensitive a hopeless romantic and I don't mind conceding and comprimising. But because of his experiences he labels me. Not that I didn't have some occasional slips to confirm his biases but its been a long time since I've gone bat crap crazy on him. Truly a long time.

So of course he's still figuring out who I am cause all he remembers is my crazy emotional side that turned into a distant chick that does her own thing. So he may and probably does have this perception like he's bothering me all the time or he's just simply confused.

When all I want is for him to talk to me like a god damn normal person, invite me places like a normal person etc. Not go around and telling me that my BFFs (who are not my BFFs) are going as a way to convince me to go when in reality HE WANTS me to go, or for him to give me space because he thinks I'm busy and he's bothering me when I'm just taking space cuase he's not talking to me or he gives me the I'm busy vibe.

This is fact. Not the crazy ass shit you people keep thinking.

Let me break it down like this:

Most occassions (75% of the time) we get along great. We're both independent and operate do our own thing. We both understand that about each other but we also for whatever reason keep each other in mind in terms of where he goes...I go and vice versa. It's a weird dynamic but that's how it is in our "HEADS". In terms of my actions, I actually play that thought out. I do have his needs in mind when I do things that he may benefit from or may be interested in.

But because he is who he is and is dopey on occasion even though he has my best interests in mind he has a tendency to change his mind every second. Typical aqua trait I know. But then there are days where he surprises me.

Where this whole thing goes wrong is, he has this image of women in his head as they are the pants wearers. It stems from childhood and how he was raised and his 2 exes the most recent one was very domineering and bossy and jealous. So he has that ingrained in his head. Sure I am very independent and intelligent and I know what I want. I'm a fixed sign but underneath it all I'm emotional, sensitive a hopeless romantic and I don't mind conceding and comprimising. But because of his experiences he labels me. Not that I didn't have some occasional slips to confirm his biases but its been a long time since I've gone bat crap crazy on him. Truly a long time.

So of course he's still figuring out who I am cause all he remembers is my crazy emotional side that turned into a distant chick that does her own thing. So he may and probably does have this perception like he's bothering me all the time or he's just simply confused.

When all I want is for him to talk to me like a god damn normal person, invite me places like a normal person etc. Not go around and telling me that my BFFs (who are not my BFFs) are going as a way to convince me to go when in reality HE WANTS me to go, or for him to give me space because he thinks I'm busy and he's bothering me when I'm just taking space cuase he's not talking to me or he gives me the I'm busy vibe.

This is fact. Not the crazy ass shit you people keep thinking.

Let me break it down like this:

Most occassions (75% of the time) we get along great. We're both independent and operate do our own thing. We both understand that about each other but we also for whatever reason keep each other in mind in terms of where he goes...I go and vice versa. It's a weird dynamic but that's how it is in our "HEADS". In terms of my actions, I actually play that thought out. I do have his needs in mind when I do things that he may benefit from or may be interested in.

But because he is who he is and is dopey on occasion even though he has my best interests in mind he has a tendency to change his mind every second. Typical aqua trait I know. But then there are days where he surprises me.

Where this whole thing goes wrong is, he has this image of women in his head as they are the pants wearers. It stems from childhood and how he was raised and his 2 exes the most recent one was very domineering and bossy and jealous. So he has that ingrained in his head. Sure I am very independent and intelligent and I know what I want. I'm a fixed sign but underneath it all I'm emotional, sensitive a hopeless romantic and I don't mind conceding and comprimising. But because of his experiences he labels me. Not that I didn't have some occasional slips to confirm his biases but its been a long time since I've gone bat crap crazy on him. Truly a long time.

So of course he's still figuring out who I am cause all he remembers is my crazy emotional side that turned into a distant chick that does her own thing. So he may and probably does have this perception like he's bothering me all the time or he's just simply confused.

When all I want is for him to talk to me like a god damn normal person, invite me places like a normal person etc. Not go around and telling me that my BFFs (who are not my BFFs) are going as a way to convince me to go when in reality HE WANTS me to go, or for him to give me space because he thinks I'm busy and he's bothering me when I'm just taking space cuase he's not talking to me or he gives me the I'm busy vibe.

This is fact. Not the crazy ass shit you people keep thinking.