Tear Jerker

So anyways, you all probably remember since I have said it before but I will say it again. I have been surrounded by lots of Aquarians throughout my short life. One of the most central Aquarians in my life has been my Great Grandmother, who I call Nanny. Nanny pretty much raised me from a four month old baby. I learned a lot about Aquarian energy from her early on, things like self control, independence, and intellectualism. Anyways now she is 95 and in a Nursing home. She has been in a nursing home for the last three years now. WHen she first got in there I wanted to get by and see her at least once a week, and I did that for pretty much the last three years. Through out all that time she has retained all those Aquarian traits and a remarkably strong mind. She can do cross word puzzles with the best of them and refuses to take her meals in the common area, only associating with people when she can show her independence, like when they play games. The thing is that it is really energy consuming to go to the nursing home all the time. It is just so emotionally taxing for me to spend so much time with old people when I am so young. One of my new years resolutions has been to stop giving my energy out to people, I have only visited Nanny once this year. But it is sad thinking about how lonely she must be 😢. Do you guys think I should keep visiting her? Have any of you guys had similar situations with the elderly?
P.S. I have Uranus in Capricorn which is supposed to mean I am drawn to spending time with old people.

I'm just putting this out here because its a pretty human issue, getting old, and it might spark a good discussion on how to humanely treat the elderly.

YES YES YES, please don't stop visiting because its hard... You will regret it for the rest of your days if you do! Life isn't always neat and pretty honey... She has been there for you, you must be there for her. It's not easy I'm sure but you can do it! Especially since you say she is still very aware... She will be heart broken if you just stop showing up! Please, continue to visit!

Yes!!!! You are probably the highlight of her week. Don't let her feel abandoned. Its hard, but think of how she feels. You're going to be in her shoes one of these days. How would you feel?

My grandmother was a strong Aquarius women too...

I miss her :/

Keep visiting! I would give anything to see my grandmother 1 more time. Especially since she basically raised you.

Bring some young friend(s) with you to visit. They can considerate it community service, you won't feel so isolated from friends. Older folks are often incredibly funny and have delightful stories to share.

It may be painful for you to see people in various stages of aging with physical or mental changes. Go for your Nanny's sake, but also for your own heart. If/when you start having emotional difficulty visiting Nanny because she starts experiencing advanced illness or other changes, do get help to deal with how hard this is. I do agree with the others, though--go and visit.

If your as close to her as you say then just continue to be close to her... random people are fine when it comes to not spending so much energy, but loved ones should be the exception. Even if you have to cut the visiting hours down it's fine just don't stop! (I'm envious of people with great relationships with their grand parents...) At the end of the day you do what you feel is right for you.

Don't you get anything in return when you visit her?

God your just like my ex??_..Srsly do I have to slap you for being so pathetic—_.What did she ever do to deserve your pity but be an upstanding strong minded woman??_.how can dishonour her by feeling pity for her!? more so for yourself!??_..either see her or don't see her but don't sit at home killing yourself with guilt worrying "oh no the old people are taking my special precious energy"??_??_they are old people for fuck sake. tell them to fuck off and your here to see Nanny, they'll forget about it if they're senile.

Heres an idea - Try living with yourself after she's gone knowing you didn't do everything you could to comfort her at a time where you should actually be caring and looking after her.
.your parents should be looking after her and its probably not your responsibility because your young but its common decency to comfort someone especially when they are lonely??_.why can't you just ask your folks to take you?..
Take a look at this diagram and think of your Nanna


I shared this pic on Facebook and so many people said it scared them??_..But I think its an honour to complete the cycle and to give back selflessly is just the most beautiful gift you can give??_..My mother cared for her mum and dad??_..their last days were spent at our house mum bathed and cleaned their shit and fed them while her brothers and sisters didn't want to have anything to do wight hem accept divide their inheritance??_..when my mum gets old and needs me I'll be more than happy to be there for her??_.you may be young and feel it might be a big responsibility to take on. But its just just as simple as being there for someone when they were there for you.

And next time don't have the gall to come to an Aquarian forum to ask strangers permission if you can see your Nanny.

p.s post pics if you do ^.^

Posted by Tornadoday16
I'm just putting this out here because its a pretty human issue, getting old, and it might spark a good discussion on how to humanely treat the elderly.

I visit someone who is in a residence for the elderly, once a week. I take her out for an afternoon, she can still get around even if it's difficult. She looks forward to that visit. I could not let her down.

What I find tragic is all those other people in the home that NO ONE visits --ever.

Find the time when you can. Giving in this way is what connects us.

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by Tornadoday16
I'm just putting this out here because its a pretty human issue, getting old, and it might spark a good discussion on how to humanely treat the elderly.

I visit someone who is in a residence for the elderly, once a week. I take her out for an afternoon, she can still get around even if it's difficult. She looks forward to that visit. I could not let her down.

What I find tragic is all those other people in the home that NO ONE visits --ever.

Find the time when you can. Giving in this way is what connects us.

click to expand

That is so beautiful??_..I got worked up before because I stayed up last night watching a doco about kids growing up in insane asylums and their parents abandoning them and I just wept??_.then I felt so stupid crying for them that it wasn't doing anyone any good, Ive always wanted to help in wards and homes one way or another and watching "Children of Darkness" gave me a backbone??_.people need to stop being so scared to do good for other people??_.your not going to lose anything ??_.take the necessary steps to just reach out and feel connected whatever it takes.

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by Tornadoday16
I'm just putting this out here because its a pretty human issue, getting old, and it might spark a good discussion on how to humanely treat the elderly.

I visit someone who is in a residence for the elderly, once a week. I take her out for an afternoon, she can still get around even if it's difficult. She looks forward to that visit. I could not let her down.

What I find tragic is all those other people in the home that NO ONE visits --ever.

Find the time when you can. Giving in this way is what connects us.

That is so beautiful??_..I got worked up before because I stayed up last night watching a doco about kids growing up in insane asylums and their parents abandoning them and I just wept??_.then I felt so stupid crying for them that it wasn't doing anyone any good, Ive always wanted to help in wards and homes one way or another and watching "Children of Darkness" gave me a backbone??_.people need to stop being so scared to do good for other people??_.your not going to lose anything ??_.take the necessary steps to just reach out and feel connected whatever it takes.

click to expand

That's key what you said, stop being scared and REACH out. That's what it's all about. 🙂

Seeing a loved one sick, disabled or restrained from doing what they used to be able to do can weigh heavily on someone emotionally, so don't apologize for how you're feeling. It's perfectly normal. You're only human. And there's only so long you can see someone suffer or be in an uncomfortable environment before it starts to personally affect you.

I think it comes down to this: Can you emotionally, morally & psychologically afford to take the risk of knowing that you weren't there for her in her last days? If you can say that if she were to God forbid pass away tomorrow that you'd have no regrets & feel that you've done all you can do and have been a good support system & good company to her, then by all means, only go when you have the emotional/psychological endurance for it.

But if the answer deep down is NO that you would be a complete wreck & would carry guilt for the rest of your life, then my advice to you would be to suck it up, instill some meditation or stress-relieving tools before AND after you go to see her.

Some of my patients are going through this exact scenario. They are burnt out! And they feel bad for it. Some end up feeling like a weight has been lifted when their loved one finally goes onto heaven & others spend the rest of their lives beating up themselves, constantly swearing they should've/could've done more.

You know yourself better than anyone. You already feel burdened by the guilt now, so if you know that the guilt consumes you MORE when you're not around her more than stress consumes you when you actually are around her, then I'd say suck it up, make some emotional sacrifices & be there for her, especially since she never left your side during some of the times that I'm sure she would've preferred to be somewhere else doing something else. You'll only get 1 Nanny. Don't take that for granted.

Unless you feel that it'll kill you to go see her regularly, my advice to you would be to try to be as selfless as possible & give her the gift of company & a companion. People in nursing homes often suffer from depression that not only stems from the illness/disability that got them there but also from the slow declining of seeing the family/friends that would've never left their side had they not been in the nursing home. To the patients, it feels backwards that people would be there for them when they were up & healthy, but yet disappear when they are down & out and need others for emotional sanity/health the most.

...Not trying to make you feel guilty. Just giving you both sides of the coin. Just know though that you're not alone. It all comes down to whether or not you'd be able to live with yourself if something were to happen to her before you could say your goodbyes or make their life as comfortable & companionship-like as possible. Everybody's not cut out for it. Hell, even some of the employees in those nursing homes often have to seek counseling & need an emotional break from it all every once & a while!

And of course there's always the old saying that you should do for others the things you'd want them to do for you. Only a 95 year old in a nursing home can really relate to what it's like being 95 in a nursing home, lol but try your best to put yourself in her shoes. Would you expect for the grandson you raised & did everything for to suck it up, temporarily sacrifice his time, to be there for you? If no, that's fine. If yes, that's also fine.

Thanks for the replies. In response to the guy who asked whether or not I get anything out of it I'll just say that I sometimes get a sentimental feeling that I am an okay person. But I'm not sure it's all about what I get out of it, I think it has more to do with me having to give. But I understand, if you don't have a lot of Pisces in your chart you probably can't understand what it means to give.

You can't give somebody what you don't have. But if you do have it, & if the person on the receiving end is worthy of that gift, then be selfless & give it.

Posted by Tornadoday16
So anyways, you all probably remember since I have said it before but I will say it again. I have been surrounded by lots of Aquarians throughout my short life. One of the most central Aquarians in my life has been my Great Grandmother, who I call Nanny. Nanny pretty much raised me from a four month old baby. I learned a lot about Aquarian energy from her early on, things like self control, independence, and intellectualism. Anyways now she is 95 and in a Nursing home. She has been in a nursing home for the last three years now. WHen she first got in there I wanted to get by and see her at least once a week, and I did that for pretty much the last three years. Through out all that time she has retained all those Aquarian traits and a remarkably strong mind. She can do cross word puzzles with the best of them and refuses to take her meals in the common area, only associating with people when she can show her independence, like when they play games. The thing is that it is really energy consuming to go to the nursing home all the time. It is just so emotionally taxing for me to spend so much time with old people when I am so young. One of my new years resolutions has been to stop giving my energy out to people, I have only visited Nanny once this year. But it is sad thinking about how lonely she must be 😢. Do you guys think I should keep visiting her? Have any of you guys had similar situations with the elderly?
P.S. I have Uranus in Capricorn which is supposed to mean I am drawn to spending time with old people.

this is such a coincidental thread because our pisces grandmother loves crossword puzzles and word games alot and she spends the entire day doing them, getting the daily paper and getting the crossword section and finishing them up. she's very independent too. she was married to a gemini sun man who was a very good husband and provider for her, and she was a very hard working woman. was because in her very old age, it's hard for her to even walk, but she can still do word puzzles and listen to mozart, bach etcerta. my own pisces grandmother was different, as she loved watching old movies and watching detectives and action films. it feels really great to have them around, and yes, once a week is like happiness to them to spend time with. 2, 3 x a week is even better but if you can't do more than that, 1x a week is lovely. time is all they hav

*time and good, loving company is all they have. these are very precious to them.