What is he saying—?

I really hope someone cab shed some light for me...I've been told that aqua men are very honest and that they generally don't say things they don't mean. I've read that they like to become friends first, that you shouldn't push them, shouldn't be needy and clingy etc etc etc. Great! Now I'm a Libra woman and I've been chatting to this Aqua guy for around 8 months now. 2 months ago we met for coffee and sparks flew immediately. Within 2 weeks we were making out every time we saw each other which was quite often and yes it ended in us having sex...also great...then he became distant and I reacted by giving him his space and just letting it go.

Lately we haven't been able to see each other and he's been constantly asking when he can see me again. What bothers me though is I get the feeling that he wants only sex from me. That I don't like. My reason for feeling this way is that is all we've ever done since we started seeing each other-staying at home and having sex...ok lots of talking etc also but its never really a "date".....

Tonight he texted me that he was drunk out of his mind, which is unusual for him as he doesn't like drinking. So I asked him why he was drinking and his reply was that he missed me....wth? So I took the chance and asked him what he wants from me and he said he wants to be my "special friend" now this sounds much like a FWB request to me? I asked him what he meant by that and he said if he told me now he would be angry at himself tomorrow....now what am I to make of this? I really like him although I'm not prepared to be his booty call.

Advice please—?

I think by already sleeping with him you've made it clear that you are willing to have the sex without the relationship. It's kind of hard to take that back. There are a lot of ways this story could go just depends on what exactly it is that you want.

Posted by AmuseOneself
I think by already sleeping with him you've made it clear that you are willing to have the sex without the relationship. It's kind of hard to take that back. There are a lot of ways this story could go just depends on what exactly it is that you want.

It would seem that what I want was never important... I really thought we already had a strong connection and both of us being mature adults having sex should not influence what we shared before....It would also imply that had we waited for longer....thus would have happened still but just later?

Damn tgings have changed in the dating game!

Posted by Libramoon

Posted by AmuseOneself
I think by already sleeping with him you've made it clear that you are willing to have the sex without the relationship. It's kind of hard to take that back. There are a lot of ways this story could go just depends on what exactly it is that you want.

It would seem that what I want was never important... I really thought we already had a strong connection and both of us being mature adults having sex should not influence what we shared before....It would also imply that had we waited for longer....thus would have happened still but just later?

Damn tgings have changed in the dating game!

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Well of course if it's not important to you then it's not going to be important to him or anybody else. It's called standards. Thinking you have a connection and having a connection and expressing it to one another are two different things. You my friend are all the way back at booty call. If you wait to have sex he has more invested (time, money, emotions) in you, in the relationship (whether it's clarified or not) to just walk away once you do give in to the sex. If sex is all he wants and he gets it he walks. If all he wants is sex and you make him wait, and he waits, he usually stays. Things change and life isn't fair. Set the rules for yourself and stick to them. This particular Aqua guy may be a loss (maybe not) but you must learn from it.

If you want more than a sexual relationship, then stop having sex with him and build the friendship. Keeping on in the sexual sense won't bring a man to want more later. A lot of women make the mistake thinking they can lure a man in with sex and men are wired different than we are. My advice is do what you're comfortable with and just examine what your goals are and proceed from there.

I would agree with @Metoo, you should be up front with him. Most aqua people like that. At least from my experience. Tell him what you want and what he wants. Then go on from there.