Why doesn't he call me out on my crap?

Okay, aquas, yall know I understand yall. But this question right here I don't understand at all.

I'm sure I've done things that make him go wtf? Or things that irritate him. Or things that piss him off. In over two years, I'm not naive enough to think I haven't done any of those things. I'm sure I've deserved to get called out or something or other.

Okay, only one thing he has complained about and it's about my sleeping position. I'm trying to improve on it. Habits are hard to break. But it isn't the kind of stuff I'm talking about. Oh, and he thought I kept throwing money at getting stuff fixed instead of just buying something new. But that's about it.

I have called him out before, told him some things that bothered me, told him when he inadvertently hurt my feelings, asked him to be more of this or that. I'm usually rational about it and nice, nonconfrontational, logical, etc.

I kind of overdid that this weekend, though, and let my emotions get the better of me, of which I know better. Not only do I know not to react emotionally with an aqua, but as a cap, I'm kicking myself for letting my emotions out loose like that. It was a little confrontational, too. I had inadvertently gotten my feelings hurt by something unintentional, but when I felt like he didn't care that my feelings were hurt, well, that just made it worse and made me feel unimportant to him. Ah, well, the emotions lashed out. Damn Scorpio venus! Not good, I know. And though we've made up and have forgiven each other, he says I am important, he says we're good, hasn't ignored or disappeared on me, but I do feel a little distance. Not bad as I expected, but it's still there somewhat, a little distance. Like he's punishing me a little bit or like he's still a little hurt from my outburst. Nothing we can't work through and nothing that's not expected.

Anyways, why wouldn't he tell me what he didn't like about my behavior? Why wouldn't he tell me it pissed him off? Why didn't he call me out on my irrational thoughts? I have no qualms about stating my thoughts on any subject, I'm not sure I understand why he wouldn't. I'm sure there have been other misunderstandings or issues in the past and he didn't call me out then either. And no it's not like I'm begging to get called out. lol!

Maybe since I'm kicking myself already, I would have felt better if he called me out and spoke his mind. Perhaps that's what I'm feeling. Maybe my guilt is wanting to be punished. I'm not com

completely in the wrong, but I do take responsibility for my actions.

Maybe he sensed I already was kicking myself and didn't want to add to it?

Maybe he didn't want to discuss it because he didn't want to have to admit his part of the incident?

Or maybe my feelings aren't important to him and he didn't want to tell me this?

Maybe he didn't want to make the misunderstanding turn into a full fledged fight?

Obviously, he wanted to avoid anymore emotional confrontation, but even when I was calm and rational the next day, he didn't tell me what his thoughts were or what I did that was out of line from his point of view. Maybe he was scared I'd fire it up again. I am a redhead. lol!

His ex is Leo and the impression I got was she was pretty confrontational and emotional and everything he did was wrong, so maybe he has gotten used to playing the passive card to squelch a problem before it became a fight?

Or maybe nothing I do bothers him? (Unlikely)

How do yall feel about calling people out on their crap? Do you just not do it? If so, why not? Do you care enough to call someone out? Is it to avoid a fight/confrontation/emotions?

Just curious what the aqua take on this is.

It could mean trouble imo. By that I mean, he could be packing & packing until the structure finally collapses one day. It's not healthy. People who hold in a lot of emotion arent pretty when they finally erupt.

Maybe he figured it was just a freak incident. I think everyone experiences an off-day when they're abnormally snappish for no reason, and that's all he figured it was, and overlooked it.

You might want to apologize just to be on the safe side tho.

Oh & I call people out all the time. I may let some things slide but I do eventually reach my limit & call a spade, a damn spade. And when I do finally speak up, I'll include everything.

I've never met an aqua that kept their cool for too long. My dad was an aqua as well & he was quick to call anyone into order. Most aquas I know have a quick temper regardless of their moon.

It could be there is nothing WORTH complaining about. He probably doesn't complain about much in other regards, right?

See how he interacts with other loved ones (family members?) It could be key.

When I love someone I don't really care about a persons negative qualities unless it's harming me directly.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some issues with my exes but rarely did I ever talk about those issues, too much work, too much nagging, too much negative energy being placed on someones negative qualities and some of us Aquas can be emotionally lazy and/or too busy trying to figure ourselves out first, living in our heads 90% of the time, attempting to make inner peace with ourselves and others.

I have done what your boyfriend is doing, it's not that I didn't care about my exes, but I really didn't feel talking about a persons bad habits and negative personality qualities would demonstrate love to that person. If I love you then I'm gone ride and die with you.

I cannot speak for all Aquas but if I start calling a person out on there crap I'm pretty much heading for the door shortly after, the end, it's over.

Posted by WaterCup
It could mean trouble imo. By that I mean, he could be packing & packing until the structure finally collapses one day. It's not healthy. People who hold in a lot of emotion arent pretty when they finally erupt.

Ahh, the hurricane! lol!
He's told me about some times in his past when this happened.

Posted by feby
Hi. Maybe he's already come to terms with your emotional outburst and he doesn't think talking it through is necessary. A lot of times I just keep it moving without a discussion...

I would just let it go. I'm usually a little distant after something like that as well but I come out of it fast, relatively speaking.

Maybe in a week or so just mention something in passing. I would say myself: hey, if you ever want to vent, just let me know. (laughing) you know, if I upset you or something. I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE!!

something like that. Light and fluffy but with a straight line beaming right through.

I'll let it go. I've been trying to be normal.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
It could be there is nothing WORTH complaining about. He probably doesn't complain about much in other regards, right?

See how he interacts with other loved ones (family members?) It could be key.

He's pretty low key and laid back with his family. Pisces Mars.

Posted by tiki33
I cannot speak for all Aquas but if I start calling a person out on there crap I'm pretty much heading for the door shortly after, the end, it's over.

Oh, I didn't look at it as a positive thing like that. So, maybe it is a good sign.

Posted by tiki33
When I love someone I don't really care about a persons negative qualities unless it's harming me directly.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some issues with my exes but rarely did I ever talk about those issues, too much work, too much nagging, too much negative energy being placed on someones negative qualities and some of us Aquas can be emotionally lazy and/or too busy trying to figure ourselves out first, living in our heads 90% of the time, attempting to make inner peace with ourselves and others.

I have done what your boyfriend is doing, it's not that I didn't care about my exes, but I really didn't feel talking about a persons bad habits and negative personality qualities would demonstrate love to that person. If I love you then I'm gone ride and die with you.

That's reassuring.

Posted by aurora
i'm not an aqua and a man so sorry in advance, but it seems to me that he sees no reason to call you out. people make mistakes so what, he knows that you know and that you surely thought a lot about it. if he is a bit distant maybe he doesn't want to piss you off again, maybe hi is not sure is your temporarily little madness gone.
also i think men regardless the sign are much better in accepting women for who they are. they know we aren't perfect and they don't expect us to be.

Thanks for that.

I wasn't wrong in feeling what I felt. I was just wrong in how I expressed it. I felt unimportant and like I wasn't a priority. When we did talk about it, I explained that and told him his responses made me feel that way and it wasn't too much to ask to be treated as a priority. He said no it's not and reassured I was important.

So I know it's all blown over, will be anyway.

But when I was upset, I did act a little irrational and over emotional. Now, as a cap, that makes me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. My instinct is to withdraw a little, but I'm trying to fight against that, because it rarely does any good.

So I will take yall's advice and drop it, act normal and hopefully, he'll stop distancing. He's still affectionate, but I do feel a slight distance.

I was just surprised he didn't call me out on my over the top behavior. But, in almost 2 1/2 years, it hasn't happened often. Just that damn scorp venus can be possessive and passionate. Not often I let her loose and there's the reason for that. lol!

Posted by Impulsv
Have u loved someone just for being who they are. No need to tell him to change no need to tell they hurt u because u know it was unintentional.

Yes, I think I understand what you mean.

Posted by tiki33
I cannot speak for all Aquas but if I start calling a person out on there crap I'm pretty much heading for the door shortly after, the end, it's over.

This is 100% truth for me.

Posted by aurora

Posted by truecap

Posted by aurora
i'm not an aqua and a man so sorry in advance, but it seems to me that he sees no reason to call you out. people make mistakes so what, he knows that you know and that you surely thought a lot about it. if he is a bit distant maybe he doesn't want to piss you off again, maybe hi is not sure is your temporarily little madness gone.
also i think men regardless the sign are much better in accepting women for who they are. they know we aren't perfect and they don't expect us to be.

Thanks for that.

you're welcome 🙂. it's pretty obvious even here that you are one calm, smart person, so why would he waste time on something really trivial.

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Awww, thanks for the complement. I guess even calm, rational people are going to have a melt down occasionally.

I don't know why I'm not seeing this as a positive. 2 years is too long to not be bothered by anything. Verbal Communication is vital imo. The slight emotional distance is telling in a way. Hope he is not the type that "voices" his opinion through non-verbal, manipulative ways.

Posted by WaterCup
I don't know why I'm not seeing this as a positive. 2 years is too long to not be bothered by anything. Verbal Communication is vital imo. The slight emotional distance is telling in a way. Hope he is not the type that "voices" his opinion through non-verbal, manipulative ways.

I haven't really noticed it as manipulation technique. He's not silent, not ignoring me, he's almost normal, but I feel a slight distance. I have noticed he tends to avoid confrontation, and he will use humor or smart ass remarks or sarcasm to change the subject of conversations he's not comfortable with. Kind of a distraction technique.

I guess I'm just used to people who confront and speak up when they're bothered. My parents are both fire signs, my son is an aries, my best friend and her husband are fire signs, my daughter is an opinionated cap (like me), my ex husband was a very vocal gemini - so I'm not used to people who don't speak up. Oh, he doesn't let me run all over him. He isn't going to be told what to do or bossed around. I'm not trying to say he's a pushover by any means. I'm just used to being told I'm over reacting or being bitchy. lol!

Maybe it just surprises me how he goes about it. I'm sure he gets his point across subtly and I just haven't noticed how subtle it actually is.

Posted by WaterCup
I don't know why I'm not seeing this as a positive. 2 years is too long to not be bothered by anything. Verbal Communication is vital imo. The slight emotional distance is telling in a way. Hope he is not the type that "voices" his opinion through non-verbal, manipulative ways.

I kind of think two years is a long time for that too, actually. I mean surely, I've done something in two years, you'd think.

Posted by truecap
I guess I'm just used to people who confront and speak up when they're bothered. My parents are both fire signs, my son is an aries, my best friend and her husband are fire signs, my daughter is an opinionated cap (like me), my ex husband was a very vocal gemini - so I'm not used to people who don't speak up. Oh, he doesn't let me run all over him. He isn't going to be told what to do or bossed around. I'm not trying to say he's a pushover by any means. I'm just used to being told I'm over reacting or being bitchy. lol!

Maybe it just surprises me how he goes about it. I'm sure he gets his point across subtly and I just haven't noticed how subtle it actually is.

Then again, I'm usually very happy and light hearted when I'm around him. Just being with him makes me feel that way. You'd think that'd wear off after two years, too! But it hasn't. lol!

Posted by truecap

Posted by WaterCup
I don't know why I'm not seeing this as a positive. 2 years is too long to not be bothered by anything. Verbal Communication is vital imo. The slight emotional distance is telling in a way. Hope he is not the type that "voices" his opinion through non-verbal, manipulative ways.

I haven't really noticed it as manipulation technique. He's not silent, not ignoring me, he's almost normal, but I feel a slight distance. I have noticed he tends to avoid confrontation, and he will use humor or smart ass remarks or sarcasm to change the subject of conversations he's not comfortable with. Kind of a distraction technique.

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I'm not saying his distance is manipulative, just saying I hope he's not the type to use non-verbal cues to communicate ie. silent treatment etc. You're sensing a change. Why is he not speaking up? Whatever happened obviously left an impact if he is slightly withdrawn. I'm probably reading too much into this, but...nah.

Posted by truecap

Posted by WaterCup
I don't know why I'm not seeing this as a positive. 2 years is too long to not be bothered by anything. Verbal Communication is vital imo. The slight emotional distance is telling in a way. Hope he is not the type that "voices" his opinion through non-verbal, manipulative ways.

I kind of think two years is a long time for that too, actually. I mean surely, I've done something in two years, you'd think.

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How often do you meet? I was with an aqua man for 2 years too, didnt live together, but we had a few disagreements. Or maybe some people mellow with age, IDK.

He is gone two weeks for his job and is home two weeks. It alternates. Maybe that has a lot to do with it. We're usually just happy to see each other and be together.

Oh, we've had some misunderstandings, but it's because I brought it up. But we usually seem so in tune to each other that we just don't have a need to fight. We agree on a lot of things and seem to view life from the same perspective.

Could be that we're older and know when to rule out what we're not going to deal with early on. So anyone with deal breakers or issues we couldn't accept would have been ruled out in the early days.

And we're older, do go and do as much as younger people. Less emphasis on clubs, alcohol and facebook for instance.

I meant DON'T go and do as much.

And we're good about saying, 'what do you mean by that?' when we're not sure what the other one meant. So jumping to conclusions doesn't happen often.

Posted by truecap
He is gone two weeks for his job and is home two weeks. It alternates. Maybe that has a lot to do with it. We're usually just happy to see each other and be together.

Oh, we've had some misunderstandings, but it's because I brought it up. But we usually seem so in tune to each other that we just don't have a need to fight. We agree on a lot of things and seem to view life from the same perspective.

Could be that we're older and know when to rule out what we're not going to deal with early on. So anyone with deal breakers or issues we couldn't accept would have been ruled out in the early days.

And we're older, do go and do as much as younger people. Less emphasis on clubs, alcohol and facebook for instance.

Age could be it *shrugs*

It seems like aquas arent the same. Some speak up or call people out on the spot (& get over it), while others seem to do so when they're ready to walk. Personally I wouldnt want to be with someone who only explodes when they are so close to ending it.

I'm the kind that speaks up, but I usually don't like to repeat myself or stay for too long with someone that constantly requires to be called out.

Anyway, I hope I'm misjudging your situation. If you're happy then it's all good.

i don't understand emotional outbursts...so...when i face one...i look at it...sth like "wtf is this—!!!"...i ignore it because i don't understand how people can lose control, but my guard is up after seeing that...

i strongly recommend not doing that again...

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Aqua women are very different then the men.

I know 3 aqua men not afraid of confrontation- my dad, another one is dating my friend & my ex. All 3 are/were very argumentative. Didn't take shit from anybody about anything.

Posted by mz
i don't understand emotional outbursts...so...when i face one...i look at it...sth like "wtf is this—!!!"...i ignore it because i don't understand how people can lose control, but my guard is up after seeing that...

i strongly recommend not doing that again...

I'm kind of the same way about not understanding emotional outbursts, but when you keep calm, keep rational and something hits you all of a sudden at the right time, it will happen occasionally - especially if you've controlled it for a while. I blame the scorpio venus - it's the only "hot" planet I have. The rest are in capricorn and aquarius.

Do yall think maybe I hurt his feelings with my accusations.

Again not speaking for all Aquas...

We want peace, can we all get along type of mentality is how I usually am. If I love someone I do not want to fight about at all, don't wanna fight, have no interest in fighting, could care less about fighting.

If I don't know a person I will dig into there ass with my whole front and bottom teeth LOL but if I love someone I really don't care for fighting, nor do I want long drawn out conversations, if I love you I love you and that's that, I'm not really pressed about the person I love bad habits etc etc.

Emotional outburst is quite confusing which is probably why I hear people say Aquas are robotic on an emotional level but we do feel deeply but many Aquas are so emotionally introverted to the point that we appear cold and uncaring but we feel deeply and instead of expressing that depth of emotion we instead internalize it and try to comprehend it mentally so we can understand it first before dealing with it externally. It's exhausting, least for me it is.

The distance you feel is him attempting to understand what he did on his end of it, how to be better for you and for the relationship, it'll pass for sure.

I'm an empath, therefore when I feel what my partner is feeling it can create some distance because I'm internalizing his and my emotions all at the same time. Nothing personal. Not that I'm saying your Aqua is empathic, but he may have some empathic qualities that prevent him from being vocal. Just a thought.

what kinda grinds my gears about aqua males when you do confront a situation that has been bothering you at that point they brush it off because to them its not as big as a deal as it would be to you i hated that about my bf then when he was bothered i had no choice but to hear it and if the answer wasnt good enough he would question me again and again (argumentative) sigh @trucap i wish that non-confrontational desire was implanted in him or maybe because hes young is prob the reason

Posted by feby

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Aqua women are very different then the men.

I know 3 aqua men not afraid of confrontation- my dad, another one is dating my friend & my ex. All 3 are/were very argumentative. Didn't take shit from anybody about anything.

I'm not afraid of confrontation...I just see it as an energy expenditure. If I have the chance, I try to rationalize it in my head first. Even to the point of having an entire confrontational conversation with the person in my head. Usually this will do the trick ie I see it's not worth it, get distracted, find my own resolution, realize I'm being irrational.
I believe I've saved myself a lot of grief and unnecessary drama this way.

But I am not afraid to open the can if I need to. And I'm very outspoken with the people closest to me. Just the other day I got a little heated on my dad. I'm heated on my aries everyday at one point lol. I love how they just laugh though when I'm getting all heated. I guess it's not that intimidating, or could come across funny
. Main primary objective though, release what I have to say if I'm not able to come to terms with it silently. In some way. If I can do that with minimal damage, then GREAT! WIN for everyone!! 😄

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That's a mature way of going about it. Could be because your moon & sun are in good aspect lol. IDK. I'm very dramatic & I hate it but cant help it & feel its necessary to get my point across...show how unhappy I am about a situation. Probably why I'm single lol. So maybe aqua sun CAN keep a cool head when paired with signs that arent dramatic or maybe its the decans as you mentioned. Hmm...

@TrueCap:

Let's put astrology aside for a second and look at it from a human point of view. I echo a few sentiments here and you'll see why in a second.

After a lifetime of being in situations where what's supposed to be love only turns out to be war, eventually one wants peace. When one says they love you, its supposed to mean all of you. This may sound crazy, but its hypocritical to then turn around and complain or fault find especially given the fact that we all have them and no one belongs to the other. The only thing we can do is lead by example.

With that being said, its hard to get use to normal. You pick at it, analyze it, try to find some "angle" where one doesn't exist because we're not used to harmony...a coexistence of good and bad. If it ain't broke don't fix it. A healthy relationship will get better on its own. He sounds like he has accepted ALL of you. Him doing that is a strength. No need to complain or call of if you've accepted someone for who they are. Otherwise you're just being dishonest _??__—

Not calling you out or anything, but why do things that would cause him to make a choice as to "let you get away with it?" Just a thought _??_

Posted by tiki33
Again not speaking for all Aquas...

We want peace, can we all get along type of mentality is how I usually am. If I love someone I do not want to fight about at all, don't wanna fight, have no interest in fighting, could care less about fighting.

If I don't know a person I will dig into there ass with my whole front and bottom teeth LOL but if I love someone I really don't care for fighting, nor do I want long drawn out conversations, if I love you I love you and that's that, I'm not really pressed about the person I love bad habits etc etc.

Emotional outburst is quite confusing which is probably why I hear people say Aquas are robotic on an emotional level but we do feel deeply but many Aquas are so emotionally introverted to the point that we appear cold and uncaring but we feel deeply and instead of expressing that depth of emotion we instead internalize it and try to comprehend it mentally so we can understand it first before dealing with it externally. It's exhausting, least for me it is.

The distance you feel is him attempting to understand what he did on his end of it, how to be better for you and for the relationship, it'll pass for sure.

I'm an empath, therefore when I feel what my partner is feeling it can create some distance because I'm internalizing his and my emotions all at the same time. Nothing personal. Not that I'm saying your Aqua is empathic, but he may have some empathic qualities that prevent him from being vocal. Just a thought.

He does have a virgo moon.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@TrueCap:

Let's put astrology aside for a second and look at it from a human point of view. I echo a few sentiments here and you'll see why in a second.

After a lifetime of being in situations where what's supposed to be love only turns out to be war, eventually one wants peace. When one says they love you, its supposed to mean all of you. This may sound crazy, but its hypocritical to then turn around and complain or fault find especially given the fact that we all have them and no one belongs to the other. The only thing we can do is lead by example.

With that being said, its hard to get use to normal. You pick at it, analyze it, try to find some "angle" where one doesn't exist because we're not used to harmony...a coexistence of good and bad. If it ain't broke don't fix it. A healthy relationship will get better on its own. He sounds like he has accepted ALL of you. Him doing that is a strength. No need to complain or call of if you've accepted someone for who they are. Otherwise you're just being dishonest _??__—

Not calling you out or anything, but why do things that would cause him to make a choice as to "let you get away with it?" Just a thought _??_

I'm going to have to digest that.

+1 BeautifulSoul, well said...

"Do yall think maybe I hurt his feelings with my accusations."

Nope not if it's the truth. Honesty pulls me closer to a person, people are so dishonest emotionally and verbally these days so when someone has enough guts to be vulnerable with me about my actions I appreciate that person even more, the love and trust expands for that person.

I can name a few astrological signs that would get bitter but I won't even go in that direction.

I absolutely hate being vulnerable. Its out of my comfort zone.

Posted by tiki33


I'm an empath, therefore when I feel what my partner is feeling it can create some distance because I'm internalizing his and my emotions all at the same time. Nothing personal. Not that I'm saying your Aqua is empathic, but he may have some empathic qualities that prevent him from being vocal. Just a thought.

*nods head* Indeed that is the life fellow Empath _??__??

Posted by tiki33
+1 BeautifulSoul, well said...

"Do yall think maybe I hurt his feelings with my accusations."

Nope not if it's the truth. Honesty pulls me closer to a person, people are so dishonest emotionally and verbally these days so when someone has enough guts to be vulnerable with me about my actions I appreciate that person even more, the love and trust expands for that person.

I can name a few astrological signs that would get bitter but I won't even go in that direction.

+1 and well said also Tiki_??_...the truth.

Posted by truecap
I absolutely hate being vulnerable. Its out of my comfort zone.

I understand that...completely. But only when you do become vulnerable, come out of your comfort zone, will you find what it is you truly seek.

Posted by feby

Posted by WaterCup


That's a mature way of going about it. Could be because your moon & sun are in good aspect lol. IDK. I'm very dramatic & I hate it but cant help it & feel its necessary to get my point across...show how unhappy I am about a situation. Probably why I'm single lol. So maybe aqua sun CAN keep a cool head when paired with signs that arent dramatic or maybe its the decans as you mentioned. Hmm...

Have you ever dated a scorpio sun? I think the moon to sun aspect being favorable in a relationship can be great 🙂

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I have, they're annoying. I want to be the only crazy one in a relationship lol. Scorps can be delusional.

Posted by truecap

Posted by mz
i don't understand emotional outbursts...so...when i face one...i look at it...sth like "wtf is this—!!!"...i ignore it because i don't understand how people can lose control, but my guard is up after seeing that...

i strongly recommend not doing that again...

I'm kind of the same way about not understanding emotional outbursts, but when you keep calm, keep rational and something hits you all of a sudden at the right time, it will happen occasionally - especially if you've controlled it for a while. I blame the scorpio venus - it's the only "hot" planet I have. The rest are in capricorn and aquarius.

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i am an aqua with cappy influence...the only planet "out of the balance" is my saggy mars...and i feel it...so i understand what you mean...but i've learnt to use its benefits, not its distructive impulses.

the only person who drove me literally crazy was my aries ex bf...i so much didn't like it...i swore to myself it won't happen again...i like my aquarian sensibility, my cappy self control more than the fiery spices which to me looked like drama...

let it go, truecap, after all he's a big boy, he'll handle it, we all do things which are more or less logical at a moment or another...no need to linger on it...

i don't think things are black and white...50 shades of grey, remember? 😄

i confront the people i care about...the rest don't matter...

but being confrontational, calling sb out about sth, and emotional outbursts are so different things...

I probably could call people out on their shit more often, but Id be there till the cows come home.

There is so much I observe on a daily basis I swear sometimes I'm like a walking CCTV camera and I hear people lying about shit, being totally inconsistent in their stories and so on..

each little altercation I have is a little sip of my energy and what for? a petty little battle that I get no satisfaction out of winning that drains and irritates me like a mosquito bite.

But if I hoard all evidence of their shit and then unleash it on them in a spectacular fashion resulting in them fading away as they are out shined by their inadequacy I will at that point know that I have won the war.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by truecap
I absolutely hate being vulnerable. Its out of my comfort zone.

I understand that...completely. But only when you do become vulnerable, come out of your comfort zone, will you find what it is you truly seek.

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I'm finally realizing that. lol!!

I am trying to be more honest and open, which isn't easy for a cap, but I'm making efforts.