heart-breaking aries son of a gun.....

i let myself be misled big time. he talked to me on the phone and thru online chat for hours on a regular basis over the course of several months after he rescued me on a whistler ski hill last january....i kept contacting him because i wanted to get to know him better and he kept responding with warmth and never once acted annoyed....i assumed that it was because he liked me as more than just a friend....but i found out that he just likes to talk to people....doesn't matter who you are.....it could have been anybody....a homeless dude on a sidewalk....anybody...

i casually visited his facebook yesterday and his single status had been changed......i don't even know what to think or feel....i'm so numb with shock right now....and knowing that i did this to myself hurts even more....this was just a friendly guy who wanted nothing more than somebody to chat with and i mistook that for something completely different....i invested so much emotion in him....i felt like screaming at him.....but he didn't do anything wrong. during our convos, he never once acted in a way that might imply that he was romantically or sexually interested in me.....he wouldn't even talk about love unless i brought it up.....just goes to show you that just because a guy is friendly, doesn't mean he is interested in you in a romantic sense....i knew that somewhere in the back of my mind but i didn't wanna ackowledge it....i didn't wanna face reality....i wanted to stay in fantasy land....

i'm still shocked at the situation...a day later it still feels unreal...the true pain hasn't set in yet....i haven't fully accepted the reality of the situation....i'm just numb right now but i needed to write my feelings down....

Posted by MelanieG
i let myself be misled big time. he talked to me on the phone and thru online chat for hours on a regular basis over the course of several months after he rescued me on a whistler ski hill last january....i kept contacting him because i wanted to get to know him better and he kept responding with warmth and never once acted annoyed....i assumed that it was because he liked me as more than just a friend....but i found out that he just likes to talk to people....doesn't matter who you are.....it could have been anybody....a homeless dude on a sidewalk....anybody...

i casually visited his facebook yesterday and his single status had been changed......i don't even know what to think or feel....i'm so numb with shock right now....and knowing that i did this to myself hurts even more....this was just a friendly guy who wanted nothing more than somebody to chat with and i mistook that for something completely different....i invested so much emotion in him....i felt like screaming at him.....but he didn't do anything wrong. during our convos, he never once acted in a way that might imply that he was romantically or sexually interested in me.....he wouldn't even talk about love unless i brought it up.....just goes to show you that just because a guy is friendly, doesn't mean he is interested in you in a romantic sense....i knew that somewhere in the back of my mind but i didn't wanna ackowledge it....i didn't wanna face reality....i wanted to stay in fantasy land....

i'm still shocked at the situation...a day later it still feels unreal...the true pain hasn't set in yet....i haven't fully accepted the reality of the situation....i'm just numb right now but i needed to write my feelings down....

Hey Lady,

I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling right now. Have you ever made an effort to come right out and tell him how you feel? Sometimes we Aries need to be told, in a straightforward way, that you are interested.

After pining for him for a few months, I just think it would be a real shame if you didn't take a shot.

I agree with aliaries...every Aries I know is like this. Sort of backward shy, for lack of a better term.

His convos may have been a way of expressing interest, w/o saying it right upfront due to shyness, fear of rejection, not sure of how you felt about him, etc.

Take a shot like aliaries say...and not on facebook, use your voice!! I agree we do need to be told..

You're very attractive...I'm sure he was into you...just afraid to let you know!!!

his facebook relationship status stayed 'single' for an entire year but when i visited his page recently, it was changed to 'in a relationship with so and so'. i clicked on the girl's facebook page and it was some nerdy-looking aqua girl (i saw her bithday january 24th) and i was like this cannot be happening....because this means that he had a crush on that girl for a while now and didn't bother to tell me....(not that it was his reponsibility to tell me or anything cuz it's not like i was his girlfriend and he was playing us both or anything...we were just talking as friends)....but still he could have told me....he could have spared me this heartache....

right after i saw his new facebook status, i called him and asked him why he kept talking to me for an entire year and he said "i like talking to you. you're so interesting and unique" so i asked him if he knew i liked him as more than just a friend and he went silent for a few minutes. i think he was totally caught off guard by my confession and it took him a little while to respond...he was like no i didn't know. he just assumed that i was talking to him for the same reason that he was talking to me.

and then i started crying...he kept apologizing saying "im so sorry i didn't mean to hurt you like this" but i couldn't stop crying....he stayed on the phone with me until i stopped crying...which took like 40 minutes...i apologized to him for being so needy and pathetic and he was like "no no don't apologize. this entire thing is my fault. i was insensitive".

that was our last conversation. he left me a message on my phone this morning asking me if i was okay and i've yet to call back. i'm scared that i might start crying if i hear his voice...

I'm so sorry to hear of your heartbreak. I have an Aries moon, so I can co-sign to what Bluemoon and sunshine222 stated above.

We Aries type are indeed warm, friendly, outgoing types who like everyone until you give us a reason not to, and unless you come out and say you are interested, we (at least I) will contuinue being cordial/friends until you state otherwise.

If an Aries is interested though, trust me, YOU WILL KNOW. 😛 You are not at all being needy or pathetic, you are simply expressing how you feel in a genuine manner, and believe me when I say, hurting you intentionally is NOT what his intentions were.

I hope this helps and I wish you luck!

Well the relationship with the Aqua isn't?? going to last too long now that you expressed your feelings. He isn't going anywhere.

Just take him from her. If he comes to you, he's yours. If he doesn't, then you need to move on without him. All's fair in love and war but you never know if you don't try.

Oh but whatever you do, don't sleep with him until he officially becomes your man. You can take somebody's man without using your body as a bait. Trust me, it can be done.

I am so sorry that this happened to you. From my understanding, you told him how you felt and he initially went silent and then he began apologizing to you? As in he couldn't return your feelings? That does not sound good to me because I don't think he would have apologized if he felt the same way. I'm sure he would have been happy instead of apologetic. I am not trying to crush your remaining hopes but I'm just a little confused. Did he say anything else?

Posted by Brittannie
I am so sorry that this happened to you. From my understanding, you told him how you felt and he initially went silent and then he began apologizing to you? As in he couldn't return your feelings? That does not sound good to me because I don't think he would have apologized if he felt the same way. I'm sure he would have been happy instead of apologetic. I am not trying to crush your remaining hopes but I'm just a little confused. Did he say anything else?

no, he just kept apologizing over and over. he didn't know what else to say i guess. i was just basically crying and being super needy. i'm so embarrassed. i haven't called him back yet...i don't even know if i should...

Posted by GreekBarbie
Just take him from her. If he comes to you, he's yours. If he doesn't, then you need to move on without him. All's fair in love and war but you never know if you don't try.

well i'm not exactly in the best position to do that right now since i don't even live in the same country as him. the other girl obviously has an advantage over me in that sense. she is closer to him which means she is able to have more influence on him.

Oh dear... This is so sad. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone has hope for love and ur obviously a lovely girl and he obviously cares about you as a friend if he apologized for unintentionally hurting you and still left a message to check up on you to see if you were okay afterwards. I think, if anything, you have made a great friend out of him. It'll take some time for the sting of it to go away but just remember: you'll be around as his friend a lot longer than the girlfriends that come and go in guys' lives and that friendship is in a sense more reliable and constant than what he might be able to offer you as a boyfriend. I think Aries people make wonderful friends. Very trustworthy, uplifting and cheerful souls who can brighten and lighten the darkest of days.
And at least you don't have to deal with heartache from him later on like the girlfriends do when they break up! You can be his go-to person when he's going through shit with them... A far better position to hold than just another girlfriend on the list! You should feel honored he considers you his friend and confidant!
Unfortunately, what the others and you have said is true! We are happy, just as long as we have someone to talk to. And ur right... It could be anyone... We are very friendly people who love meeting new people and making new friends.
You seem like a really great girl and you are beautiful! Please don't resort to stealing another girl's man though! I've learnt the hard way with that. Things end how they begin and if it starts off with him leaving another woman for you when he is being manipulated into it, there's a good chance it'll end the same way or with resentment if he finds out you sabotaged his relationship. One thing we don't like at all is people interfering in our lives and playing judge and jury. I literally write people out of my life when I find out they've done this to me. Choose the higher ground and be supportive instead of calculating. Especially if he now knows how you feel. It won't take him long to figure out if ur trying to manipulate him into leaving her! And then he'll withdraw from ur friendship because he won't be able to trust you anymore.
I hope you feel better soon xx

Posted by MelanieG

Posted by Brittannie
I am so sorry that this happened to you. From my understanding, you told him how you felt and he initially went silent and then he began apologizing to you? As in he couldn't return your feelings? That does not sound good to me because I don't think he would have apologized if he felt the same way. I'm sure he would have been happy instead of apologetic. I am not trying to crush your remaining hopes but I'm just a little confused. Did he say anything else?

no, he just kept apologizing over and over. he didn't know what else to say i guess. i was just basically crying and being super needy. i'm so embarrassed. i haven't called him back yet...i don't even know if i should...

click to expand

There's no need to feel embarrassed. This man seems to be quite understanding. He is not going to pass mean judgements on you based on that incident. He does seem to care about you a lot and I don't think he wants to lose you as a friend. It would be very unfortunate for your wonderful friendship to end on a sad note like this.
I agree wholeheartedly with what lotuslily said as well...

@lotuslily

Thanks for taking the time out to write that. You have no idea how much better and hopeful you made me feel about my situation. I want to continue being in his life if he will let me. I'm not going to get in between him and his new girlfriend. I'm going to wait until they break up and maybe try again...

Posted by Brittannie

Posted by MelanieG

Posted by Brittannie
I am so sorry that this happened to you. From my understanding, you told him how you felt and he initially went silent and then he began apologizing to you? As in he couldn't return your feelings? That does not sound good to me because I don't think he would have apologized if he felt the same way. I'm sure he would have been happy instead of apologetic. I am not trying to crush your remaining hopes but I'm just a little confused. Did he say anything else?

no, he just kept apologizing over and over. he didn't know what else to say i guess. i was just basically crying and being super needy. i'm so embarrassed. i haven't called him back yet...i don't even know if i should...

There's no need to feel embarrassed. This man seems to be quite understanding. He is not going to pass mean judgements on you based on that incident. He does seem to care about you a lot and I don't think he wants to lose you as a friend. It would be very unfortunate for your wonderful friendship to end on a sad note like this.
I agree wholeheartedly with what lotuslily said as well...

click to expand

Thanks brittannie.

Posted by bluemoon9043834
when we love you and you are the one for us, we will initiate efforts to bring you into our life. no one should have to chase aries, aries are the hunters of the zodiac. just hope this helps for the future. 🙂

You certainly helped me!! Thank you. Some of my Aries friends on here have been encouraging me to turn the tables back on my Aries and if he cares and likes me as much as he keeps telling me he does then he wont do anything but start the hunt all over again to gain my attention back. I don't plan on completely ignoring him though I love him too much for that, im just going to work on not being so available. He's so busy all the time that I be thinking "whew, he's making time I better get to him or its now or never" instead of making him feel that about me. Lol. DUH! Thanks again girl.

Posted by MelanieG
@lotuslily

Thanks for taking the time out to write that. You have no idea how much better and hopeful you made me feel about my situation. I want to continue being in his life if he will let me. I'm not going to get in between him and his new girlfriend. I'm going to wait until they break up and maybe try again...

Pleasure girl!
Just remember to always be the happy, friendly girl he likes talking to! That way when his girlfriend eventually gets all whiny, clingy and needy when he wants to do his own thing, he'll think about what a cool chick you are and wish she was more like you! haha!!!
And don't show jealousy or anything like that... Just be the girl he made friends with!

Have you heard from him again?

Posted by lotuslily

Posted by MelanieG
@lotuslily

Thanks for taking the time out to write that. You have no idea how much better and hopeful you made me feel about my situation. I want to continue being in his life if he will let me. I'm not going to get in between him and his new girlfriend. I'm going to wait until they break up and maybe try again...

Pleasure girl!
Just remember to always be the happy, friendly girl he likes talking to! That way when his girlfriend eventually gets all whiny, clingy and needy when he wants to do his own thing, he'll think about what a cool chick you are and wish she was more like you! haha!!!
And don't show jealousy or anything like that... Just be the girl he made friends with!

Have you heard from him again?

click to expand

ok i'll try my best lol
no i haven't heard from him since that morning. i haven't called him back yet. i still want to be in his life but i just need some time alone to recover from this. i will call him back when i'm ready. it's just hard for me to do it right now.

he said he'll wait so i'm taking my time...