Help with an Aries Man!

So, we've been seeing each other for a few months now. He's gone most of the time traveling for work, which I can handle.

He chased and chased me, came on very strong like a typical Aries. We have such amazing chemistry, could chat for hours, have amazing sex, etc.

So he told me he loved me 3 months in, and then started to back off. When I brought it up, he claimed he was busy. I'm not buying it, as it takes two seconds to text someone. He used to check in every few days and tell me he missed me, but lately I see the sweetness fading. So I figured he was done, but even after a huge fight about how I don't feel like he cares about me, he keeps coming back. He's said so many emotional things to me, but lately he hasn't.

He has so many girls after him, but I just don't understand why he keeps coming back. He's a bit cold, as he's been majorly burned in the past and has issues trusting women. When I can get him to open up, he's expressed a desire to buy us a house, and settle down. When I think we are making progress, he disappears for a few days.

What is up?! He's so hot and cold and I really don't get it. He told me once he doesn't like to fall in love, and a couple of months ago it really seemed like he was. So now I'm not contacting him, and if he texts me I'll be nice but I'm not going to make myself available to him anymore. I give him his space, but if he hadn't said we are meant for each other and such I would have dropped him ages ago. I know he's a good person and I've seen the love in his eyes. I love him so much and this is killing me.

Does he love me or what? I've worked hard to be a source of love and support but it seems like that isn't cutting it anymore.

I'm thinking that's what I have to do. I just don't get why he's so hot and cold!

I'll have to bring it up in person, which won't be for a while.

Here's the deal:

1) Aries doesn't enjoy the saccharine and the mushiness that goes with love statements. The more you amp up on the emotional factor, the more you will feel them drifting away.

2) They are direct people, but they are not strong communicators. Their words fail them at times, so this is something the partner should navigate.

3) I have the impression that after the confession of love was made, you went a bit over the top in hitching your love wagon to his horse. It's still a few months and I sense some insecurity in that "there are many girls after him, I just don't understand why he keeps coming back" comment

4) Do not force opening up with this sign. It will backfire. Not everyone needs to open the floodgates to all their lives in one second. Aries has a weird pace with this.

5) If he has issues trusting women, you are not helping with the fights and the impatience. This isn't a person that is going to "open up" after a few months because most women assume that after they hear "I love you" there will be a conversation of "Let me tell you my whole life up to this point" immediately. You'll find it surprising how self protective and cautious they are, even after the chips were laid on the table, so to speak.

6) Less emo, more enticing/inspiring. Shift the mood back to playfulness and figuring each other out. Any heavy display will make him run over the hills.

I completely agree with Damnata. And as an addition, you shouldn't show him your insecurity. Even though you feel insecure, seem like someone who is very sure about herself. Don't overwhelm him with your emotions. And try to show your feelings on a subtile way. Give him time. Aries do need time to think about emotions and to accept them.
And really keep in mind that if he really likes you, he will have hard times to let you go and that explains why he keeps coming back. He's obviously attracted to you and enjoys being with you. But you really have to be patient. Men from this sign have so many things in their minds and they are always so busy with so many things. Give him enough space. And starting a fight or an emotional attack is a ni-no for him. That will draw him away from you..
Be patient and try to have fun for yourself too. Give him the impression that also when he's not there you're great time and are independent. They don't like clingy people. They want to see that you're independent, have also hobbies, can be busy too and that they are a bonus in your life, not a target. You see?

He did come back after the fight and he was fine. It's been over 2 weeks and he ignored my text (I mentioned his Facebook photo and said I hope he's ok) so I guess it's over.

I'm very upset but I look back and I was being a doormat. I won't be a member of some emotionally unavailable man's harem. I wonder how much of it is him being EU and how much is being an Aries. He's been very mushy plenty of times and after the love declaration I didn't lay it on thick. I gave him space but at what point does a woman decide a man travelling around having sex with other women and ignoring you become tiresome? I never asked for a commitment- he is the one who brought up the sleeping with other people
Topic months ago and we both agreed we wouldn't.

He said a lot of meaningful things to me, so disappearing for 4 days and not introducing me to his friends or including me in his life told me he doesn't care. He stopped asking about my life a few months in, and didn't bring up plans to spend new year's together.

I would have been fine with the days of silence if we were causal, but he's the one who got emotional first. Not me!


He's a pretty blunt and confrontational person so why didn't he just tell me it's over? He could have done that and blocked my number and at least I would know where I stand.

Thanks for your help-I'm pretty heartbroken.

I agree with Damnata. Also wondering what your sign is and whether there are other women involved? I've noticed that many Aries have a roving eye, his past might amplify that. I dated one that I later found to have a long-term girlfriend, a wife in another state and a child. Another one also showered me with declarations of love but is "afraid to commit." I don't doubt that he cares about you, but he seems very confused. Either that or he is very self aware and doesn't care who he strings along. Aries are very clever, I wouldn't put it past them. Above all, protect your heart. Good luck.

I was wondering about the same thing: what's your sign?
I think too that he cares about you and he likes you. That's why he keeps coming back. He can't let you go, because you mean something to him and I guess he doesn't want to lose you. But I don't get this part on Aries men either: even though they know they have feelings for you, still they are so difficult in taking the decision to go fully for it. He's confused and everytime he has the feeling that he loses you, he fears and comes back. He has really got to get this mind together and decide what he wants. He doesn't see the pain he causes on you.