How do Aries deal with competition?

I ran into my Aries at an informational social cocktail centered around young professionals wishing to become part of the inaugural class for community leadership. It's a BIG deal here and it's competitive to get into.

Well moving along with the story, he came up to me after the informational was over and spoke to me. Then we started to mingle and network with others. I left before he did and I did not say goodbye because I'd be rude if I interrupted his conversation he was having with others.

He called me after leaving and asked why I didn't say goodbye. I gave him my reasons and he seemed ok with my response. He then went right into wanting to know if I was going to apply. I told him I really wanted to and that I was still working on my application. He also wanted to know how I found out about the class. I told him my mentor told me (who was a panelist at the event). He became quiet and suggested that I should apply but it didn't sound sincere at all.

Since then, he's been aloof and not even contacting me. I did call him yesterday and he text back instantly "I'm at the game". I freaking hate NFL season btw.

But it seems as if he's slightly jealous or maybe insecure that he and I are both competing for the same spot. I just don't get it because I feel like he should support me just as I do for him. It's not like I'm deliberately trying to compete with him. Little does he know, I didn't even apply because I realized I should assert my energy on passing the bar and just apply next year.

Should I ask him if he feels some type of way about me applying or should I tell him I didn't apply to see how he respond?

He's upset that you didn't say goodbye.

What's the nature of this relationship? This doesn't seem like a romantic relationship. Seems platonic and the convo seem blazé. I could imagine him writing the same wonderings about you because you did not say bye. Think about.

Posted by urbansophisticate
I ran into my Aries at an informational social cocktail centered around young professionals wishing to become part of the inaugural class for community leadership. It's a BIG deal here and it's competitive to get into.

Well moving along with the story, he came up to me after the informational was over and spoke to me. Then we started to mingle and network with others. I left before he did and I did not say goodbye because I'd be rude if I interrupted his conversation he was having with others.

He called me after leaving and asked why I didn't say goodbye. I gave him my reasons and he seemed ok with my response. He then went right into wanting to know if I was going to apply. I told him I really wanted to and that I was still working on my application. He also wanted to know how I found out about the class. I told him my mentor told me (who was a panelist at the event). He became quiet and suggested that I should apply but it didn't sound sincere at all.

Since then, he's been aloof and not even contacting me. I did call him yesterday and he text back instantly "I'm at the game". I freaking hate NFL season btw.

But it seems as if he's slightly jealous or maybe insecure that he and I are both competing for the same spot. I just don't get it because I feel like he should support me just as I do for him. It's not like I'm deliberately trying to compete with him. Little does he know, I didn't even apply because I realized I should assert my energy on passing the bar and just apply next year.

Should I ask him if he feels some type of way about me applying or should I tell him I didn't apply to see how he respond?

Hi..

I am married to an Aries! And without going into my marital issues, let me tell you, my husband is very competitive and argumentative too!

I'll give evidence you one or two examples in a moment.

But first let me say that in terms of him saying you should apply but sounded insincere, I think you are right. It sounds like he was just being polite but secretly didn't want you to apply as you are competition for him. He will most likely just want to beat you to it and not care how you feel.

I'm not saying All Aries men are like this though. But certainly my husband!

You also said that you feel he should support you as you do him - that is exactly one of the problems in my marriage. My husband has only been supportive When there's something in it for him! If there isn't he's not interested! He will only give me a half-arsed reaction and not even talk to me about whatever it is.

I have spent most of my marriage either fighting with him to stop him being so competitive with me - and this is over trivial stuff like him telling me how to do the housework to the best of my abilities!?! Or having to deal with his sulking when I Refuse to back down and do things his way! Because his way is Better! Obviously!

He's a perfectionist and it drives me NUTS!

So if you ask him how he feels about you applying, he may just give you an up - beat positive reaction (aka a false one), and pretend that he's ok with you applying, when he's actually not! Aries are proud too so he won't want his pride hurt if you were to get the position over his head. He probably will continue to not speak to you too, if you apply. Why? You're competition.

I am basing my response to you on my Aries husband as I've experienced this behaviour of his time and time again.

If you tell him you didn't apply he may just not care..I wouldn't tell him either way if I were you. Does he really need to know?

Better to concentrate in your own life ☺

Hope this helps..

*Examples, not Evidence

My wife is competitive sometimes. But that's alright. We make the fun out of it. Whether it be video games or sex.

Posted by Solesan
My wife is competitive sometimes. But that's alright. We make the fun out of it. Whether it be video games or sex.

Your examples are apples to my oranges. Aries guy literally treated me like I was nonexistent because we were applying for the same spot. I'd label competition with video games and sex as playfulness. Secretly feeling bitter of your partner's abilities is senseless.

I find it more acceptable for a partner to be jealous in a relationship when there is possible infidelity involved not being jealous of your partner's professional success.

@pooface222

My assumptions were correct. He was bitter of my abilities. He is also aware that I didn't apply. Yesterday was the deadline so of course he called to let me know he applied and to see if I applied. I was open with him on my decision to not apply. I hope he gets accepted.

This is seriously a negative trait but he does have qualities that outweigh this negative. I'll have an opportunity to discuss with him how his lack of support made me feel.

Posted by urbansophisticate
@pooface222

My assumptions were correct. He was bitter of my abilities. He is also aware that I didn't apply. Yesterday was the deadline so of course he called to let me know he applied and to see if I applied. I was open with him on my decision to not apply. I hope he gets accepted.

This is seriously a negative trait but he does have qualities that outweigh this negative. I'll have an opportunity to discuss with him how his lack of support made me feel.

You sound like you are still supportive of him even after his bitter trait. This is good but be careful it doesn't become a habit. I have always supported my hubby but I guess he hasn't supported me where and when I have wanted him to.

I guess he has been supportive in other ways which I should be and am grateful for. But..For me it's more important to have him be supportive where and when I need him most to be.

I hope he wont be dismissive of you when you tell him how unsupportive he was towards you. If he is then I'd say forget him. He's just not worth it.

Depends if they know can punk/beat the competition or not.

If they cant, Aries turns into sheep.

If they can, Aries steps up to the plate.

@pooface222

My decision to support him is prompted by my awareness that we all have our demons and it is a mutable trait. Perhaps this is his first time dealing with a situation like this. Can you imagine your girl getting the spot you wanted? He's the typical gusto kinda aries man so my understanding is well at play when I say I can see how that might trigger some bitterness. But he will know soon how I feel. I'll let him celebrate submitting his app whilst I didn't.

We're traveling opposite career paths. However, the class is beneficial for any career. The chances of us competing is slim to none.

I knew aries were competitive but I didn't realize the women they date were included

Posted by urbansophisticate
@pooface222

My decision to support him is prompted by my awareness that we all have our demons and it is a mutable trait. Perhaps this is his first time dealing with a situation like this. Can you imagine your girl getting the spot you wanted? He's the typical gusto kinda aries man so my understanding is well at play when I say I can see how that might trigger some bitterness. But he will know soon how I feel. I'll let him celebrate submitting his app whilst I didn't.

We're traveling opposite career paths. However, the class is beneficial for any career. The chances of us competing is slim to none.

I knew aries were competitive but I didn't realize the women they date were included

At least you won't be affected by him then it seems. It's weird with my husband, he gets competitive over housework but in a controlling way. It's like he's saying 'I'm better than you and I want you to know it. So do things my way not yours.' Very childish!

Then there is the double-standards. They can do something (whatever it may be), but if you do it, they don't like it.

Anyway..I wish you well with what you plan to do ??