How to be yourself without offending others

hey you guys. this is for all aries women out there...

how do you go about exuding confidence and strength without people having negative reactions towards you? Do you find that being a spirited, assertive aries woman sometimes ends up biting you in the ass?

I know that in today's modern world, this shouldn't be an issue but I still sense sometimes that society isn't ready to deal with a truly strong woman.

I am strong, assertive, smart, and very feminine to look at. But sometimes I think life would be easier for me if I were more of a doormat.

What do you guys think? I would love to hear the male perspective as well!

JennaT !!!

Stay yourself !

Your good this way ! don't care about the other people with negative thoughts!

I'm Aries too and people see me as a weirdo when i act normal ..
so i behave a little different at school..

Jenna ! stay yourself !
be like a Aries ! wild and adventurous !!

Thanks boyfromutrecht.

That was real sweet advice. I have that exact thing happen to me. People think I am weird or obnoxious or just too much. I don't mean to appear that way...it's just my personality. And yes, I am soooooo adventurous!!!

Do you like to do crazy stuff like sky dive, bungee jump, rock climb?

"I am strong, assertive, smart, and very feminine to look at. But sometimes I think life would be easier for me if I were more of a doormat."

jennaT, I don't know if being a doormat would solve the problem, or make life easier for you being a female Aries. A person can look at theirselves all they want and try to come up with different perspectives, but, it always comes out the same. Our self image isn't so easily changed and we all have a sense of self worth and will make ourselves out to be better than we are.

I can tell you, being a non-aries, how you females appear to me and there's only one area that I think needs work. Being assertive, adventurous, confident, strong - all those things are fine and I doubt anyone ever looks down their nose with these qualities. But, there is one area . . .

There's a different between being confident and being concieted - Aries, mainly the females, struggle with this distinction. Being sexy is fine and even arousing, but, when the Aries woman doesn't keep her ego in check, this sexiness starts to come out looking slutty. For some reason, the female Ram is confused with this: they believe that being sexual, and giving off the impression that they are extremely sexual is the way to catch a man - but, it's not. That's the way to get a fck from a man who will not respect you in the morning. Yes, men do want women who can be naughty and seductive, but, they also want her to be decent and demure.

Females Aries fall short, for the most part, in this. They look in the mirror and see themselves beautiful on the outside and act this out to society. "Hey, look at me, aren't I sexy and gorgeous" That's not an attractive quality to anybody except the man who's looking to get a nut with someone who isn't ugly.

I don't know you, and maybe you're not like that at all. I'm just speaking in general, from my perspective, as I look at the female ram. No doubt, she isn't an eyesore, but conciet is NOT attractive and once a person gets to know this girl, who is vain beyond belief, her outside is no longer pretty. Does this make sense?

Anyway, that's how I see it. The males don't have this problem. It seems to only be female.

So, be yourself, by all means. Just don't let your sexuality overflow into appearing like a sleaze.

P-angel.

that is great advice. and i agree with the slutty stuff. but ya wanna know what is soooo frickin weird? ok...here's my confession for the day. i know that guys look at a woman that is overly sexy, slutty whatever as just a piece of ***. i have been single at different times in my life and only looking to get with a guy for a night. so i use this tactic to get him and then be done with him(the slutty thing you were talking about) but ya wanna hear the real F'ed up part? it backfires on me!! this has happened twice! they end up wanting to stay, i end up having to kind of make them leave (i then feel like a real bitch) and i really just don't get it!!

so yeah..i agree with that and that is definitely NOT how i am in real life. besides i am in love with my man and would never dream of going back to being single again.

i just think it's weird that i attracted those totally hot dudes who i thought would be players and then leave me alone...but then they didn't. 😢

but thanks for your advice. sometimes i really think it would be easier to be a guy....but then i would have to be gay!!!! 😛

"it sounds like you've got a dick, what's the T stand for?"

T is the first letter of my middle name...jenna is the nickname my grandma gave me when i was a kid. my real name is jennifer

since you're so curious

"it sounds like you've got a dick, what's the T stand for?"

"sometimes i really think it would be easier to be a guy....but then i would have to be gay!!!!"

Well, there ya go, the virdicts in . . . your a gay man !! lol

trapped in woman's body, of course

Boyfrom, I don't think male Aries are wierd.

Does it really seem like people see you that way? Do people look at you like you're an oddball?

Well, here's a person who has never looked at a male Aries like he's wierd, so you have one supporter of your "strange normalcy" lol

lol, Taurus lady with Sag mask. I feel ya.

Laying your stuff on a man so good that it makes him want to stay isn't an indication of being hot and desirable - just easy. What makes a woman hot and desirable is being that way for her man ONLY. Being that way for ALL males, appears trashy.

So, I guess it all boils down to, what makes a person feel wanted. Does a person want to feel cherished because they have good sex to offer, even a stranger? Or,because they have integrity and will remain non-sensual around males who aren't their man?

Aprilbaby, I've seen that too in a lot of the women. You have a point. You're different than most, you've grown into your womanhood with grace. But, the truth is, most of the female rams AREN'T like you. Most of them appear slutty.

maybe i shouldve clarified myself...when i said they wanted to stay i meant that they wanted to stay around in my life....wow, you guys are a tough bunch.

ya know, i don't know how this turned into a topic about being trashy.

i need more advice from some neutral people who haven't decided that they already hate me

i agree with you aprilbaby. i've been told by people that i seem very tomboyish and unapproachable. that's why all this slut talk makes me laugh.

how do guys perceive a woman that is tomboyish? are they threatened? turned off? or do they think, "oh cool, a real guy's girl...someone to watch basketball with! (she is a hot tomboy of course) 🙂

"i need more advice from some neutral people who haven't decided that they already hate me"

Nobody hates you. Wow, that's pretty sensitive. Sorry, we are talking in general terms, not personally. Where did that come from, jennaT?

"she is a hot tomboy of course" See, that is sort of what I was talking about. You percieve yourself as hot - that sounds concieted. That was my point.

Being hot is suppose to be in the eyes of the beholder - not the holder of the mirror. That was my whole point. Confidence is becoming, conciet is not.

So, I guess, back to the topic - there is no way to be yourself without offending others, if being yourself is expressing yourself as though you think you are hot. You will offend everytime.

wow..thanks for enlightening me on how not to be conceited.

does anybody else want to tell me how to be a strong, assertive woman without driving people away?

and please..non jennaT haters only 😛

@ Angel P:

it's not allway's so but some peeps just don't like me in the way i am.I must confess , i don't have many friends, but the friends that i have are SUPER.


@Jenna : just stay yourself. be as a real Aries...but sometimes cool down a bit since some star signs can be scared away from the explodingenergy of the Aries. Try to '' level'' yourself .. if your in a new class , get to know eachother. adjust your energy on them 😛.

bt last but not least: STAY YOURSELF !

that's great advice. yeah, i find my energy to be overwhelming at times. its like i am just all bottled up, ready to explode with no outlet.

i think its hard for many to relate to that

"and please..non jennaT haters only" Again, you say this.

Good advise has been given, cool down a bit. You posted this thread about all Aries, not just yourself, we speak objectively and you take it personally. Perhaps this is the reason why you offend, for that must be the issue because that is the reason you made this thread. I speak in general and only you take it personally. You sound like ALV using a different screen name.

Hey Boyfrom, "i don't have many friends, but the friends that i have are SUPER." That statement in itself makes you above most people. Knowing who you are is important to funtion in this world. Most people don't have many friends, at least, not true friends. We all lots of aquaintences . . . but, real friends? Not many, indeed. And the ones you do have, you cherish, by saying they are super. Personally, I think the male Aries is one of a kind and it just doens't get any better. I feel ya, man.

me me me

i i i

jennaT, this isn't personal, don't take it that way. I speak objectively, not about you in particular.

Yet, if you are indeed, the other one . . .

mememememememe

meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it IS about me. this is MY thread!!!

why can't u understand—??

I understand. Do you understand that you aren't the only person in the room?

Perhaps we should remove all the mirrors from the wall, so you can see that there are other people here, huh?

"Confidence is becoming, conciet is not."

yes and i am confident that i am hot. how do i know? because everybody tell me. if people tell you something over and over again you tend to believe it...i think this has been scientifically (boy that's a long word!) proven

LOL LOL LOL..lighten up everybody!! does anyone around here ever have any fun—?.. you guys remind me of the stiffs i go to school with

another confession...drum roll please

i have narcissistic personality disorder.

nothing you EVER say will make me believe that i am not the number one, most important, greatest, hottest, smartest, all knowingest (THAT is a word!!) one on the face of the planet

please stop wasting your breth

The above post is the answer to your original question.

You are your own enemy, for only you exist in your world. Nobody could ever hate you, love you, or have anything with you - because only YOU exist. You shut out people in your life because you can't see beyond yourself.

"i have narcissistic personality disorder" It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I read that loud and clear. I'm sure everyone does. I also believe my previous conclusion - this is ALV using another name.

So, all you Aries women out there who have grown beyond the immature Aries female, I take my hat off to you, for that is an accomplishment indeed. It is perhaps your greatest obstacle.

For anyone who has imed me, or stated openly in here, that my assessment of the immature Aries female is inaccurate - read above. This is most of you females, who hasn't grown beyond yourself. Unfortunately, most of you don't grow beyond yourself and that's a pity because I find that you have the most to offer the world than any other sign.

Cheers !!!

damn woman...don't you know when someone is joking around??

seriously dude...get a sense of humor...really 😉

Don't now try and act like you were kidding, because you weren't. Bullhsti may work with people who can't see your true colors, but I'm not one of those people. You ought to know that by now, we've been going round and round with each other for weeks.

You are as shallow as your posts always suggest and that is how I saw through you.

You want people to want you, then come to the realization that there are other people on this planet. You aren't the only person. Everything isn't about you.

weeks!?!?!!!!

GIRL!!! what in the hell are you talking about? I just joined this frickin site like yesterday.


you people here a real weird bunch...i mean, seriously, what kind of drugs are you guys on—??

just who in god's name do you freaks think i am? so far now i have been called like 3 different people. is this a normal thing you all do around here? mess with each other, call people names, and generally just hate?

you must be terribly insecure. i don't know what else to say

well thanks because i think some people here are cool.

i think horns are sexy

*tosses mane and wipes the mist off chest*

may i just say that i took the narcissism statement as an obvious joke? i read the thread from beginnig to end and it never occured to me that she meant that seriously, but as an ironic statement regarding the clich?s that surround the "typical" aries. same thing with the "me, me, meeeeeeee" posts.
plus, i think it's a very easy and cheap thing when several ppl try to put one single person down. that's not cool and it doesn't exactely put a positve light on you both.
and then you're telling her she shouldn't be over-sensitive, after YOU told her she's slutty and full of shit though you don't even know her?
and what surprises me most, is the p-angel takes part in that, because what i've read from you so far was usually pretty objective and i can't remember seeing you willingly hurt ppl.

tupeline--

she thinks i am another user here. so far since i joined yesterday i have been called 3 other people by 2 different users. i can't change her mind about this so i will stop trying. i think it's quite strange if you ask me.

its good to see that somebody sees that i am just being silly

ah, so that's the reason for those over the top reactions on your posts? that at least puts some light on this thread 😉jenna, i have no idea if you are another user on this board, i don't waste my time comparing ip adresses or reading up old posts. let's put it this way: if you aren't another user here, the reactions on your posts were really mean and inappropriate and everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves. *sticks tongue out*
so does aguaaqis last post imply i'm just another incarnation of you?
sorry, agua, if you read my posts carefully you will realize english is not my mother tongue and i've been on this board for a year.
echo? yep, the echo of your paranoia 😉

thanks tupe.

sheesh..finally somebody who is being decent to me.

is this place like full of crazy people or something?

seriously

in dubio pro reo

say what?

Tupeline: "i have no idea if you are another user on this board, i don't waste my time comparing ip adresses or reading up old posts. let's put it this way: if you aren't another user here, the reactions on your posts were really mean and inappropriate and everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves. *sticks tongue out*"

Alright, but, if she is this other person and is yet again, on here playing head games, like we believe, then what . . . *sticks tongue out at you? Then she should be the one ashamed.

Second, this started being objective. Nobody called her anything until she decided to take it personally. This is an open board, she asked a question. If a person makes a chioce to take something personally went it wasn't intended that way, then that's really too bad if their little feelings get hurt. An Aries should know this above all else, for they are known for running ramshod over peoples feelings. She made this about her, not us.

Furthermore, if she tries to come up with a different screen name, we'll catch her again. Don't you think it's odd that 3 different people believer her to be someone esle. YOu don't see us doing this with anyone else. She can't hide, she's not smart enough.

We don't take to people playing games, period.

I dont' mind games either, so long as their in the bedroom. Don't realy have to play, so long as I get to watch, lol

p-angel, if she uses a different screen name, why don't you just ignore her? if she wants to play and noone's taking part in her game, she'll lose interest very quickly.

I know, ignorance can be bliss once in a while. And seeing that I'm a sadistic evil btch, I have to find my fun SOMEWHERE. And you Aries think you're the only ones to have fun, lol.

Now, I'm getting worked up, again. Watching games in bedroom . . . hmmmmmmmmmm
Fishes have no sexual boundaries, perhaps we shouldn't be talking about this. I'll have to pull out my whip.

Back to topic, I don't necessarily think that people get offended by Aries in particular. People get irritated and offended by most everybody else, if the mood serves them. Hell, I see people get offended all the time, for no reason at all, like just the smell of someone's perfume standing in line. It's really just the other person's mood at the time. What offends this time, may not next time. You know what I mean.

i appreciate everybody's comments and advice.

i don't know the politics of this message board, nor do i care, to be honest with you. i am here to get advice, have fun, and make friends like everybody else. whatever has happened between you all in the past is not my fault.

i'm sorry you guys have problems with people that play head games, but just to clarify (because i feel like i need to and this is getting ridiculous)i have better things to do with my time (obviously) then come on message boards and get people angry. clear?

seriously, mind/head games are for losers, and that i am not. aguaqui-you keep asking me what my motive is? i don't have a motive. i am not your psychotic little friend who has already messed with your mind. if we have similar writing style s/ personalities/whatever(although that's a disturbing thought) then that is not my fault.

but i would really appreciate it if you left me in peace and let me converse with the other very nice people that are on this board...you are ruining it for me and i don't know why

i am sorry for your bad experiences, but i will say this one time and then i want to be done with it...LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE

THANK YOU

Aries are harsh.

I know from myself that i need to level my energy
before i enter my school.

Furthermore.. some friends told me that i'm too direct with saying things. This is why a Aries can offend people easily. We just say it ! we don't think of the best way to say something to a person. We just say it directly.

I need to adjust this for when i step to a girl i like ..😛

( @JennaP : you're right ! we are our own worst enemy. live is what you make it and you can only blame yourself at the things you do.

hahaha...i guess you got 'checked' last night!!! LOL

yeah and scorps are just as passionate! i would never want to fight a scorp...but side by side, imagine what we could do!