remember me?

Hey, I'm back!

It's been about a month I guess.

The last time I was here I said I was going for a vacation and will try to keep him away from my mind. Well, I was partly successful. I spent some quality time with my extended family, went our a few times with my friends and energized myself.

Then, I was back to work and he was there and my poor heart was jumping like crazy again anytime I saw him 😢

He is still quiet when we run into each other. He acts quite weird actually. Couple of weeks back I was where he worked to deliver some papers to a lady, and as I was walking by the long hall he appeared on the other end, walking towards me. Then as soon as he noticed me he hesitated for a sec, as to not knowing where to hide, then he turned to a cubicle just was next to where he stood and said something to the guy inside like "hey, nice shirt" or something. So, successfully avoided me. This happens all the time. Before we had that "issue", he was greeting me naturally. Now he does not say hi, he is like he is not sure what to do and how to act towards me. Sometimes he sees me from a far, and when he notices I am there, he gets all quiet and serious but at the same time checks me out with a look that says "who are you really". Uncomfortable but curious. It is exactly the same look he gave me right after a meeting where I stole his thunder inadvertently. At those times I want to say hi first or smile at least, but due to his behavior not say anything and just walk by or turn to my work.

In writing however, he is very responsive. A few times I IMed him in company network and although he was in meetings, he responded. Two weeks ago, I have learned that he was appointed to a top secret new project and working on a huge contract and last weekend he was out of state for a meeting for that project. His responsibility is now heavier. As I have heard, he left all his other work aside to concentrate on this deal now. He no longer attends his evening classes although his MBA program was very important for him. He was planning to get his degree in a year, his buddy had told me so. He was focused on his classes and studying like crazy and now, right before his exams started he is buried in this new project. His buddy is also in the project team and he told me how busy they were and how big was the management's expectation. So, as a true Aries, it means 100% of his attention is devoted on this project 😢

One of the projects that he reduced to low-priority if of course the project that we were going to work together. He's still involved, however he'll spend less time working on it. I learned that last week and sent him an email telling him that ?? was worried abut him because this new project was taking all his weekends and that must be draining and I was sorry we would not be working together a lot now and that I admired his leadersip skills and it would be such a pity for me not to spend enough time to be inspired by him. I listed several good qualities that he had and said that I am sure once he successfully completes his project he will be sought after by many competitor firms and headhunters, and he deserves the best for him so I knew that his time in our company is limited and I would be very sorry if I can not not have a chance to work with him closely.

He responded that email early next morning stating that yes, he'll be away for a few days more working on that project but he is fine and assures me that we will definitely work together and he is only waiting for the project papers approved by the Board. His response is formal but attentive, as usual.

He is still distanced and I do not know how to break that. The week before He went for his trip, ?? waited till late afternoon and went to his office to give him a special, organic food that brought from home. It's known to be a good energy source. It's also expensive and high quality. But he was in a meeting with two guys. The door was half open so I looked inside and perapred to enter but after seeing the two guys, stepped back. He looked at me but did not say anything. So I turned back and waited for them to finish in the next office. It took me 15 minutes, I just sat there and read some papers. I was hearing them discussing a stressful topic. Then as the other two was leaving, he told them to leave the door open and I thoought that maybe he did that for me, knowing that I would be back in a minute and if I saw the door was closed then I would leave.

Two minutes after gis peers left, ?? went back to his office. He was still working on his computer and looked at me. I stepped in, left the package on his desk and said "this is for you" with a formal smile. He looked at the package, and took it and was very excited. he said "wow, thank you so much". Unfortunately another peer of him came and when he entered the room, he showed him the food and said "nice, huh?" And I left just saying "bye".

the strange this is ?? saw him a few times after this event and he was still quiet when he saw me. he never asked where did I get it, why I brough it to him or did not thank me. He just accepted it and it was that much for him.

I know his mind is not thinking anything else these days, only work. So I guess I have to be a bit patient.

how could we forget 🙂


He is not interested in you - IMO

He probably asked the other guys to leave the door open because he knew you were lurking in the office next door waiting to pounce and did not want to be in an office with a closed door when they left and you would come in.

You are still projecting your own feelings onto his actions.

Don't be patient, move on - it is difficult I know, but you have to.

Posted by celticlioness
how could we forget 🙂


He is not interested in you - IMO

He probably asked the other guys to leave the door open because he knew you were lurking in the office next door waiting to pounce and did not want to be in an office with a closed door when they left and you would come in.

You are still projecting your own feelings onto his actions.

Don't be patient, move on - it is difficult I know, but you have to.

This. The dude is NOT interested. Every time you post something, it's all situations that you're just reading into. Not signs of his interest. You're still coming across desperate too.

Stop it.

That email you sent him was borderline obsessive/overkill, too.

Move. On.

Thanks dear, I know I am special 🙂

I forgot to mention: the night that I gave him my present; I was not sure he was still in the office, it was past eight, so I messaged him first amnd said if he's, then I will bring him something. He wrote sure. But he was busy. As you said, he knew I was around and would be back but he knows very well that if his door is closed, I never bother. I mentioned hims everal times before "I wanted to tell you about xxx, but your door was closed" "I came to ask you this but saw you were working with you door closed" etc. Another reason I thought so was he said this in such a high tone that it sounded like he was shouting. At that hour, everybody was left, it was only him and that other two guys who were guests and they were praparing to leave too. So, there was no reason to be loud. Only if, he wanted to make sure I heard, because I was next door and the room's light was on.

I am not trying to say that you are wrong and he likes me, no. It could also be the case that he just neeeded some fresh air. My pont is there was a reason that led me to think this way.

I know he is not yet interested in me. I just have a crush on him and trying to befriend him so that he could know me better and maybe then, he starts to like me. My feelings are genuine and I just want him to feel it.

Oh Emma.....

You always leave me speechless.

What country are you from?

Posted by lovingemma
Thanks dear, I know I am special 🙂

I forgot to mention: the night that I gave him my present; I was not sure he was still in the office, it was past eight, so I messaged him first amnd said if he's, then I will bring him something. He wrote sure. But he was busy. As you said, he knew I was around and would be back but he knows very well that if his door is closed, I never bother. I mentioned hims everal times before "I wanted to tell you about xxx, but your door was closed" "I came to ask you this but saw you were working with you door closed" etc. Another reason I thought so was he said this in such a high tone that it sounded like he was shouting. At that hour, everybody was left, it was only him and that other two guys who were guests and they were praparing to leave too. So, there was no reason to be loud. Only if, he wanted to make sure I heard, because I was next door and the room's light was on.

I am not trying to say that you are wrong and he likes me, no. It could also be the case that he just neeeded some fresh air. My pont is there was a reason that led me to think this way.

I know he is not yet interested in me. I just have a crush on him and trying to befriend him so that he could know me better and maybe then, he starts to like me. My feelings are genuine and I just want him to feel it.

You can sit there and continue to feed us useless snippets. The answer remains the same.

I don't even know why you post. You don't listen to anything anyone tells you and you continue to sabotage yourself. Whatever floats your boat.

A small country in eastern Europe. Our world is very different than yours. Around here we still believe in true love, because divorce rate is low. We can wait for people we like for ages. We do not hop from one relationship to another or look constantly for someone. We wait and happy to be alone until the right person comes along. We do not date or live together, we start a relationship then in maximum 2 years it becomes formal and then you marry. Relationships take too long to develop but once we establish that bond and say "I love you" the rest progresses fast and we do treat the person with highest respect, in all cases. No "I" any more but "We". We also still live in large families and they have a saying in all of your decisions.

I am in my early thirties and had only 2 boyfriends before. One was my friend from college, whom I dated for 9 years. there was cultural differences so we broke but remained friends. We were almost engaged. The other I also have known for 20 years, we live in the same neighborhood and our families know each other. This lasted 3 years as I mentioned before, the guy was dependent and had a personality disorder so I had to leave him.

Dear Rocky,

This is Aries forum, and I am posting about an Aries guy. Is not that enough reason?

Many people come read these pages looking for explanations or sometimes to just vent or look for comfort. I am only leaving my story for people to read. And they can take whatever they want from it. hope my experience can shed some light in another's life.

Honey, that's not what I'm referring to.

I'm talking about your constant responses to the replies telling you that he's not interested. You continue to respond with more "stories" about how he really must be into you, and useless story #578343 MUST PROVE IT!! All it is is yet another thing you're reading into because you're incredibly desperate to see something that isn't there.

But the fact that you seem to think that dating and relating in Eastern Europe is different between the sexes kind of tells me where your head is at. You live in utter lala land.

I don't care where a guy is from- they all behave the same when it comes to this stuff.

lol we gotta give her major props for her persistence and strength to bounce back from awkward situations (and there have been a good number of those...lol)

this woman has guts! lol

Hey Emma.....

You do have a bunch of guts and it seems like lOads of confidence, good stuff if you want to date a Aries. But from what you wrote it does seem like he may not be Interested. I say this because your Aries guy is behaving in a way I would as an Aries lady to someone who showed unwavering interest in me, but I didn't give them the green light or the same interests. Despite popular belief Aries are nice people who hate to hurt someones feElings On purpose, so he is trying to avoid the situation which is making him awkward because you won't let up. Even if this is the case or not back off. Remember Aries love a challenge, be cold and aloof with him for a while and see what happens if you really have to have him, he may chase you. However it may just be a conquest at that point and not genuine.

Posted by lovingemma
Dear Rocky,

This is Aries forum, and I am posting about an Aries guy. Is not that enough reason?

Many people come read these pages looking for explanations or sometimes to just vent or look for comfort. I am only leaving my story for people to read. And they can take whatever they want from it. hope my experience can shed some light in another's life.

That's right Lovingemma, this is an Aries forum were you are getting answers to your questions about an Aries guy from Aries people and those who have experience of Aries. If the answers don't suit you can't cite the country you are from as if it, and the way you form relationships there, are an antidote to the words you don't want to hear. Your story needs to shed some light on your own life never mind others. He Is Just Not Into You - country of origin never changes this simple fact between men and women.

Posted by bkbella86
Hey Emma.....

You do have a bunch of guts and it seems like lOads of confidence, good stuff if you want to date a Aries. But from what you wrote it does seem like he may not be Interested. I say this because your Aries guy is behaving in a way I would as an Aries lady to someone who showed unwavering interest in me, but I didn't give them the green light or the same interests. Despite popular belief Aries are nice people who hate to hurt someones feElings On purpose, so he is trying to avoid the situation which is making him awkward because you won't let up. Even if this is the case or not back off. Remember Aries love a challenge, be cold and aloof with him for a while and see what happens if you really have to have him, he may chase you. However it may just be a conquest at that point and not genuine.

This.

I've had guys chase me and I would remain nice, all while NOT encouraging them and if anything, showing that I had zero interest. Just remained friendly and kept it at that. We've all been there, so why the hell be a douche about it when you're on the other side of it?

I feel freaking sorry for people who just will not get the hint. Read: "fixed signs."

I really wish women would pay attention to the signs and stop believing fucking movies, romance novels, and women's magazines run by men. :/ Hell, there's MEN out there who have even said to pay attention to the classic signs. Do these women listen? Noooo. Makes me embarrassed to share the same hormone with these bitches.

@Emma,

Did your other two relationships start where you pursued the guy and yall kind of end of together, or is this the first time pursuing a guy?

You people started to judge me again.

I said "I know he's not interested in me". Is it clear for you? I am not living in a fantasy world.

I was talking about the whole society, including men. Why you interpret that as only women in my country are stupid to believe in love stories? Men around here also believe these stories. They believe that there is only one true woman for them and they look for her. Men do not date women whom they can not imagine as their wives. She has to be a lady and someone who can raise good children and someone that he would be honored to take for a walk in the street, introduce to their families and friends and feel proud to be together.

So both our men and our women are very picky. And they both take their time to know the other person. Families and friends often intervene in this pre-courtship stage to help them to get to know each other. That was the reason I talked with his buddy first. It does not count as pursuing in my country. It shows that you have respect and solid interest in the person you want to know. And it earns you good points. If you approach the person via someone powerful in their lives, you have a good chance that you will be welcomed. That might be the reason he stoped icing me. Probably his buddy told him that I did not deserve that.

I remember my second relationship. Our families knew each other and our relationship progressed very fast because of that. His family approved me from the start and they encouraged him to pursue/date me. And it was exactly the same reason why my first relationship took 5 years to start and after 9 years could not be finalized. Because of cultural differences and disapprovals from families and friends. At the end he married someone that his family knew and that was more suitable for him from a cultural and life style perspective.

Posted by lovingemma
You people started to judge me again.

I said "I know he's not interested in me". Is it clear for you? I am not living in a fantasy world.

I was talking about the whole society, including men. Why you interpret that as only women in my country are stupid to believe in love stories? Men around here also believe these stories. They believe that there is only one true woman for them and they look for her. Men do not date women whom they can not imagine as their wives. She has to be a lady and someone who can raise good children and someone that he would be honored to take for a walk in the street, introduce to their families and friends and feel proud to be together.

So both our men and our women are very picky. And they both take their time to know the other person. Families and friends often intervene in this pre-courtship stage to help them to get to know each other. That was the reason I talked with his buddy first. It does not count as pursuing in my country. It shows that you have respect and solid interest in the person you want to know. And it earns you good points. If you approach the person via someone powerful in their lives, you have a good chance that you will be welcomed. That might be the reason he stoped icing me. Probably his buddy told him that I did not deserve that.

I remember my second relationship. Our families knew each other and our relationship progressed very fast because of that. His family approved me from the start and they encouraged him to pursue/date me. And it was exactly the same reason why my first relationship took 5 years to start and after 9 years could not be finalized. Because of cultural differences and disapprovals from families and friends. At the end he married someone that his family knew and that was more suitable for him from a cultural and life style perspective.

"They believe that there is only one true woman for them and they look for her."

"She has to be a lady and someone who can raise good children and someone that he would be honored to take for a walk in the street, introduce to their families and friends and feel proud to be together."

I do believe this isnt' limited to men in your country.

Posted by xxnightbynight
Are you needy?

You have to ask that? :p

I feel needy from time to time 🙂

Friday afternoon we had a TGIF party at the office. I did not think he would come but he did. Everyone was standing in groups chatting each other. And I was moving from one group to another. I saw him walking in but did not give any attention. He joined the group that was just behind me. That group included people that work with me most closely. I expected him to visit other tables where his buddies were but he did not. He kept chatting and chatting with my friends. Then I moved to the group right next to theirs and we were standing face to face. He went silent again and was checking me out and sipping his drink. But I did not stay there for too long and without looking at him, moved to the table at the far end of the room. I stayed there with some people from design department and we had a long discussion and after a while I noticed that it was only us and the group he was involved stayed in the room. Everyone else had left. Then, I noticed that his group/my friends were also leaving. They went and he was left there by himself. He did not leave. He checked his phone and had another drink and just stayed there. Part of me wanted to give him some attention and see if he would come and talk with me, but I just could not do. I kept my discussion with other two and he finally left.

I have decided to listen to you and stop all kinds of communication with him UNTIL HE CONTACTS ME. I was giving him a lot of attention, praise and I wonder if he'll realize the difference when it's all gone.

I'll let you know of the outcome.

Posted by lovingemma
I feel needy from time to time 🙂

Friday afternoon we had a TGIF party at the office. I did not think he would come but he did. Everyone was standing in groups chatting each other. And I was moving from one group to another. I saw him walking in but did not give any attention. He joined the group that was just behind me. That group included people that work with me most closely. I expected him to visit other tables where his buddies were but he did not. He kept chatting and chatting with my friends. Then I moved to the group right next to theirs and we were standing face to face. He went silent again and was checking me out and sipping his drink. But I did not stay there for too long and without looking at him, moved to the table at the far end of the room. I stayed there with some people from design department and we had a long discussion and after a while I noticed that it was only us and the group he was involved stayed in the room. Everyone else had left. Then, I noticed that his group/my friends were also leaving. They went and he was left there by himself. He did not leave. He checked his phone and had another drink and just stayed there. Part of me wanted to give him some attention and see if he would come and talk with me, but I just could not do. I kept my discussion with other two and he finally left.

I have decided to listen to you and stop all kinds of communication with him UNTIL HE CONTACTS ME. I was giving him a lot of attention, praise and I wonder if he'll realize the difference when it's all gone.

I'll let you know of the outcome.

No harm in feeling needy hun, its natural😉 Nobodies judging you, I think all of the replies were only trying to help you. You're a cancer and have the unrelenting drive the get what you want! I know all about that, I have two cancer children and they are relentless in their pursuit when they decide they want something, which is great, learning how to channel that in the right way is important IMO, especially where men are concerned. What you are doing now is good, just get on with things yourself and let him come and get you, that way you will know he really wants you and isn't giving in to endless pressure. Good luck with it all and try to stop reading things into his actions, it will drive you around the bend!

Emma being judged is inevitable, people will either do it to your face or behind your back, that's life. But we are here genuinely trying to help and that may take a little judgement. Good luck I hope things work out in your favor and if they dont I know you will move on to someone even better suited for you.