Give me your advice. I have a cousin (A Scorpio) and her husband (A Gemini) is cheating on her. The thing is, I love my cousin to death. I'm always there for her when he leaves her for days..and I also know how to figure everything out. I know how to go search for his mistresses (ONLINE) as well as providing her (my cousin) with that evidence. It's not like it's the first time I've given her pictures and email net banging letters to prove it to her...she herself even found numbers in his wallet and even talked to one of the mistresses. OMGawd, and her husband told her to tell me to stay the f*ck out of their relationship. That he isn't cheating and so forth any longer..and that they have moved on into the future, and if I want to dwell in on the past then I can go ahead and do so. What hurts me is my cousin even had the nerves to tell me what her cheating bastard husband had said to me. Also, for her to not even help defend me? I feel really really bad..because I have always been there for her and never letted her down...
When I realized that she did not defend me on that. I did defended myself, and I did thought to myself that it was going to be the last time I'd help her, and actually do stay out of her business. I have told her numberous of times to leave and yet she doesn't. So...there is only so much I can do and say. Yet, she goes on trying to "PURSUE" this mental goal in her head about how she is going to confront that other women and so on..and basically, I'm just a bit tired of it. Come to think of it, I really do not see any purpose in doing so, and just today I told her that I don't care what she says or does to that other women and that it's not my businesss. What happend was she got mad at me...I am an Aries women..and yes..I laid it flat out what I thought and how I felt. From the beginning I have been doing that..and yet she just sits there and wait it out.....
I don't know..maybe some of you Scorpios can give me an advice on how to approach her and talk about it. Because I'm not really seeing it at all. He did not only cheat on her once..or twice..but numberous of time. HELP! Anyone?
The only thing I can think off is shes riding on emotions right now and is not thinking logically or cares to.She wants him and has her blinders on to his faults,its all the other womens fault and the other women are trying to "steal" from her in her eyes most likely.She thinks she needs to fight for him and will probably,sees it as a duel that she must win at all costs.Most scorps see in only black and white terms literally so your going to have to sit back and let her fall hard on her ass for her to learn anything.Exellent choice in laying it out flat and reversing what she apparently is sending you as "it's none of your business" back at her.Your not her little saddness or revenge diary and she'll come around after she stings that part of herself to death and grows from it,so to speak and that is if she chooses to use that scorp ability or not.
Thats also a cheaters main thing is to thorw the blame around also so nooo surprise whatsoever there and the fact that its a gemini(yes,I know a generalization but my experiances have been mostly bad with geminis trying to throw shit at everyone when they get busted.Theres some that alright though so no offense to all gems).
Verdict's in . . keep your nose to your own business.
If he's cheating on her, so what? It's not your life . . it's hers. Just because what he's doing seems wrong in your eyes, doesn't mean it's wrong in hers. If she felt like he was doing her wrong, she'd dip. She's still there because she WANTS to be there.
She WANTS to be with him . . no matter what. If she didn't, she wouldn't. It's that simple.
Give her an anonyminous (spelling?) tip. Mail her a computerwritten letter telling her the truth. Shell never know it was you, yet she is warned. What she does next is up to her.
Thanks to everyone who responded to this topic. Your advices meant a great deal. and YES P-Angel your right, it really is their business. It's just sometimes when I help people out, I find myself way in too deep, and through this experience I know now. Sometimes, some things are better left alone. But again, I do appreciate all the respones it made me feel sooo sooo much better. =)
If the situation involved the elderly, a child, or someone mentally challenged . . then, hell yeah . . it's everyone's responsibility to assist when the person is getting hurt without them realizing it, or having the ability to protect or defend themselves.
But, when you're talking about an adult of sound mind . . then how can there be pity on pain that is self-inflicted?
It's like the old saying: First time he beats on him, shame on him. Second time he beats on me, shame on ME. If a person continues to remain in a relationship where they know that their partner is doing them wrong . . then the problem is theirs alone and deserves no intervention because they AREN'T an innocent victim.
That is something that people seem to be deluded about. They aren't victims !!!! They would yell and scream and do whatever they can to gain pity . . when it was their fault. If you stay in a relationship KNOWING your getting hurt or mistreated . . then you aren't a fucking victim.
No pity is deserved, no aid at all is warranted.
If that makes me a cold-hearted bitch, then so-be-it. If I had a friend, or family member in this situation . . I'd turn my back and not give a moments thought or concern.
I'll only help those who are willing to help themselves.
Furthermore, if your feelings continue to get hurt because you are sticking your nose into someone else's marital affairs . . then you aren't an innocent victim either and deserve no pity.
You know that neither of them want your intrustion into their lives . . so, if you continue to do so . . then your pain is self-inflicted.
haha. I know. After that incident. That's how I exactly feel now. I don't give a rats ass! and I don't care if she thinks I'm heartless. Oh well..*shurgs* =)
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When I realized that she did not defend me on that. I did defended myself, and I did thought to myself that it was going to be the last time I'd help her, and actually do stay out of her business. I have told her numberous of times to leave and yet she doesn't. So...there is only so much I can do and say. Yet, she goes on trying to "PURSUE" this mental goal in her head about how she is going to confront that other women and so on..and basically, I'm just a bit tired of it. Come to think of it, I really do not see any purpose in doing so, and just today I told her that I don't care what she says or does to that other women and that it's not my businesss. What happend was she got mad at me...I am an Aries women..and yes..I laid it flat out what I thought and how I felt. From the beginning I have been doing that..and yet she just sits there and wait it out.....
I don't know..maybe some of you Scorpios can give me an advice on how to approach her and talk about it. Because I'm not really seeing it at all. He did not only cheat on her once..or twice..but numberous of time. HELP! Anyone?