They say Aries tend go back to things that hurt them but...

For me, I feel like if you are insecure and an Aries, you will always put other's before yourself. This is what I did for years.

I just sent a text to the Virgo that has been playing cat & mouse w/ me. I'm speaking my peace.

Now some may say, I'm dumb, he'll hurt me again. But I don't see that to be true because every other time I forgave him, it was for him and not for me.

He told me he wanted to be friends again and that he changed. Whatever. I basically said the only problem in the past was his communication skills.
If he can step that up, and actually trust me & be open like he used to be, then it can done. Over time, me trusting him can be restored.

If not, then this is the finally straw. Because I did this for me. I was lying to myself and being spiteful by being cold towards him like he was to me and that literally eats at me. I cannot be spiteful, especially when my life and emotions are involved and I learned that. So, now it's his decision to accept or to keep on bullshitting.

If he bullshits again, it's done.
I've been going through so much in life as of recently and this was weighing on me for too long. Sending the message within itself has provided so much relief.

Do any of you keep going back to a flame that burns you? Why do you think you do it?
(I always try to figure why ppl do the things that they do. Especially myself. Self awareness has to be on 100 for me)

what are your other planets? I think it may influence this....

this may be a fairness thing with you maybe...... I mean, you give him a chance because you know that you behaved cold as well...... you Aries people can be insensitive sometimes without realising it....... but Virgos can be cold as hell...... Aries is cold, because of hurt pride usually....

Posted by Pandora101
what are your other planets? I think it may influence this....

this may be a fairness thing with you maybe...... I mean, you give him a chance because you know that you behaved cold as well...... you Aries people can be insensitive sometimes without realising it....... but Virgos can be cold as hell...... Aries is cold, because of hurt pride usually....

I'm Sag Moon/Taurus Mercury/Pisces Venus/Leo Mars/Sag Rising
You know what, I'm starting to think that Aries being insensitive is actually true. I never really understood it because I feel like I'm just honest. If you want to know, I will never hide anything from you. Especially if I love you. It's hard to see it as insensitive because I don't use cruel language towards him or anyone for that matter. But if I see an issue, I will definitely just let you know what it is. I hate confusion and dragging things along. I hope I was not insensitive towards him, because that was not my intent (only after he really hurt me and broke my trust) He was cold and distant, so I began to not be as affectionate and nice like he was used to. I was more so defensive than anything else. I was tired of him playing with my heart that I was so quick to give to him after I forgave him. I thought I'd be protecting myself if I got defensive for once.

I'd rather hurt you with the truth than hurt you with a lie. That's my philosophy.

I see, what you mean Curly. But what is "truth" thou? It is a mental truth or emotion truth? Aries getting defensive is not a nice thing, blurting out hurtful things in an insensitive manner.... so maybe the thing is not with the truth, but with the delivery.... leo mars not helping here🙂 your only ally in this is your venus in pisces, but you, as an Aries will protect your very sensitive pisces with your Aries bluntness...... maybe you feel love (pisces) but can not communicate is effectively, because of your Aries ego and Leo pride

Posted by Pandora101
I see, what you mean Curly. But what is "truth" thou? It is a mental truth or emotion truth? Aries getting defensive is not a nice thing, blurting out hurtful things in an insensitive manner.... so maybe the thing is not with the truth, but with the delivery.... leo mars not helping here🙂 your only ally in this is your venus in pisces, but you, as an Aries will protect your very sensitive pisces with your Aries bluntness...... maybe you feel love (pisces) but can not communicate is effectively, because of your Aries ego and Leo pride

By truth I mean how his actions affected our friendship. I was always very straightforward about his actions portrayed him as being fake and manipulative.

I've always told him how I felt about him. I would tell him that I love him, I would show him by supporting as much as I could with his music (I know for a fact no one would push his music more and would encourage him more than me) I tried to let him know that I am here for him whenever. Him being a Virgo, I got the vibe that they need space to themselves and I was always cool with that. I like space too.. but his communication was horrible. The push and pull thing was so draining to me. But after he would come back and apologize, I would forgive and try to make things normal. He just kept disappearing and would never return that respect to me. (showing support of my art, simply wanting to talk. he started to only contact me when he wanted to sext. when I realized that I felt so hurt)

I've been open and honest about everything. I wanted to lash out at him soo many times but I actually never did until a few months ago via text. I never wanted to hurt his feelings so I would gain my composure and really think about what I saying. Nothing was rude or disrespectful. I just communicated how the situation between us looked from my end.

Posted by CurlyAries

Posted by Pandora101
what are your other planets? I think it may influence this....

this may be a fairness thing with you maybe...... I mean, you give him a chance because you know that you behaved cold as well...... you Aries people can be insensitive sometimes without realising it....... but Virgos can be cold as hell...... Aries is cold, because of hurt pride usually....

I'm Sag Moon/Taurus Mercury/Pisces Venus/Leo Mars/Sag Rising
You know what, I'm starting to think that Aries being insensitive is actually true. I never really understood it because I feel like I'm just honest. If you want to know, I will never hide anything from you. Especially if I love you. It's hard to see it as insensitive because I don't use cruel language towards him or anyone for that matter. But if I see an issue, I will definitely just let you know what it is. I hate confusion and dragging things along. I hope I was not insensitive towards him, because that was not my intent (only after he really hurt me and broke my trust) He was cold and distant, so I began to not be as affectionate and nice like he was used to. I was more so defensive than anything else. I was tired of him playing with my heart that I was so quick to give to him after I forgave him. I thought I'd be protecting myself if I got defensive for once.

I'd rather hurt you with the truth than hurt you with a lie. That's my philosophy.

click to expand

I've come across Pisces Venus women having a hard time letting go or going back to the person that already burned them.

"It has been said that Rams never learn from burning themselves from a hot stove. They're always ready to touch it again. Perhaps. But not necessarily the same stove. That's worth remembering." - Linda Goodman's love signs

Posted by CurlyAries
For me, I feel like if you are insecure and an Aries, you will always put other's before yourself. This is what I did for years.

I just sent a text to the Virgo that has been playing cat & mouse w/ me. I'm speaking my peace.

Now some may say, I'm dumb, he'll hurt me again. But I don't see that to be true because every other time I forgave him, it was for him and not for me.

He told me he wanted to be friends again and that he changed. Whatever. I basically said the only problem in the past was his communication skills.
If he can step that up, and actually trust me & be open like he used to be, then it can done. Over time, me trusting him can be restored.

If not, then this is the finally straw. Because I did this for me. I was lying to myself and being spiteful by being cold towards him like he was to me and that literally eats at me. I cannot be spiteful, especially when my life and emotions are involved and I learned that. So, now it's his decision to accept or to keep on bullshitting.

If he bullshits again, it's done.
I've been going through so much in life as of recently and this was weighing on me for too long. Sending the message within itself has provided so much relief.

Do any of you keep going back to a flame that burns you? Why do you think you do it?
(I always try to figure why ppl do the things that they do. Especially myself. Self awareness has to be on 100 for me)

It really depends on what the situation is, that's caused me to walk away. I'll only go back 2 maybe 3 times at a push.

If someone behaves in a way that shows you that you're not a priority or are uncaring towards you and you're feelings, then believe them!

IME someone's behaviour tells you what you need to know more than words.