"Validation" among friends....

For like 2-3 years i have felt that i had to prove myself to people that claimed to be my friends. I was still a student struggling with 'an adult life' i was kind of a disorganised, but had other people around. Never made any problem- wanted to learn the wod and etc. I had other friends, like my ex and his friends that have already graduated a few years ago, had a lot of work around, were freelancers, were kind of popular. I was still at the university environment doing exam sessions.



When i became popular in their environment they started to talk to me, apprived me like an ewual person.

I have always felt i needed to prove myself to them because i was not enough. For girls, boys- they had other topics, were treating me like a baby- because for example they had cars and well payed job ( already) and i was still doing internships...

I felt that even to have a friendship with them i needed to proove myself. they didnt take me as i was.. i always take people as they are...



i completly cut contacts with my ex and those attention w***hores from that group. When right now i am abroad i started doing something like internship ( because its obligatory) i finished my studies, they started " approving me" like contacting me again because i did sth else than studies.



like i would need an validation from some people. i felt so bad last 2 years because i felt that i was not enough to them and they didnt want to be friends with me because i was a student or still without a well payed job and so one.



when i cut them from my life they are coming back ?

because i 'organised myself'. i am an 'adult now' in their eyes...



should i care? no, they do not exist to me.

what if they want to have contact again? nothing i will walk away...



but please tell me, why people behave like that? ? why you need an validation, an approval from them? because you are not that 'level' yet at WORK or in an SOCIAL circle?

?

pls tell me ?

they are not your friends.

no, nothing i am just lucky and i have normal family, without problems, parents still try to help me.

i think in my environment and among my friends its cool to be depressed, make so much drama among friends when something is bad.

its not like i am a queen or sth. i have always been an optimist. i am always fresh and optimistic, people like my attidute- i am not dangerous. but i connect with emotional vampires as well very easily.

they suck my happines so easily.

i can not recognise them because usually they are my friends that had dramas in lifes.

i also had dramas but i can handle them.

some people are attention wh***ores and must put their emotions on others.

i have been like a sponge .

always waorrying about people and what my friends say. always the nice one - because nice equals weak, too naive among my friends...

its not normal..

but they are like that.

they are not my friends anymore.

but i just wanted to ask why people behave like that.?

i am polish

i had boundaries but i was thinking of some of them as my friends.

and then i realised i was only one of a few acquaintances.

and people gossiped about others to me and probably about me to others.

one of the girl even told other friends what my ex did to me ( like fighting and so one) without my permission..

i have never said anything bad about her to the others.

its about the trust. maybe i was too naive and too intense.

maybe they think everyone should like each otehr- its not like that