Question about venus opposite ascendant

Hi i wanted to ask a question because ive been desperately trying to find an answer. All my life up until high school i was a guy who you would consider unattractive or even ugly. As i got older i started working out, changing my hair style and i started to look and feel a bit more attractive and while i did catch girls attention it was a far cry from my goal which was to be the exact opposite of what i was growing up(i was the guy who couldnt get a date so i wanted to be the guy who could get a date without trying) eventually i stumbled upon astrology and found out my rising was cancer which explained why i thought feminine looking guys were the most attractive and why i wanted to look more like a feminine pretty boy than a masculine hunk or something. Eventually i heard that libra rising were considered the most physically attractive sign and that depressed me because as a cancer rising i felt at the best id be ok or kinda attractive frok the descriptions i read. I eventually learned that your planet placement also effects your physical appearance(among other things) so i read that venus conjunct ascendant can you make you physically attractive even if you werent a libra rising. I had so much hope and excitement after learning about venus conjunct ascendant that i went to check my placement and unsurprisingly my placement was venus opposite ascendant. At that point i just broke down and cried because i felt that i was just destined to be ugly or unattractive. I did research on venus opposite ascendant and the best i could find is that im apperantly destined to have a very attractive partner or something. Im hoping anybody with more input on astrology can fill me in on what venus opposite ascendant means for me. Does it mean im doomed to be average at best? Is there some kind of hope for me to be as physically attractive as i want to be? I cried myself to sleep for the past couple of days because i feel like no matter what i do being attractive wasnt written in the cards for me and im doomed to be dissatisfied with my appearance forever. I had a panic attack yesterday from just how much being unattractive or the fear of it has affected me

Aw honey... *pats back*

I didn't read the whole post but Venus opposite the ascendant is a person that is perceived as beautiful...Venus conj the Descendant

Venus opposite the ascendant cant see the beauty in him but others can...often this suggest a person who has good manners and etc...that isn't necessarily physically attractive but is known as attractive.