Unable to move on after years or is it my just my hurt ego?

I'm a cancerian woman and I dated a cancerian guy for over an year, which was a complete roller coaster sorta affair. One moment we would peak together, understand each other best and the next bam! we would fights our guts out. He was excessively possessive, but somehow I liked that and felt that the fights were making us stronger. Amist all this he had to leave the country for s few months, and broke up with me over a really stupid reason before the trip. I was heartbroken and devasted the first few months, and then I met a Scorpio guy who made me feel very happy and we got along very well. I took about 6 months to know this guy better and make sure he wasn't a rebound, in between which the cancerian ex kept bouncing in and out of my life, messaging me past things, clarifications why he did what he did or just generally making me feel like a horrible person for moving on so easily. The moment I decided to give the relationship with Scorpio a go, he called me after such a long time to apologise for everything and begged to become friends with me, saying he was really happy that I had found the right guy who would respect me. Being the fool cancerian woman I am I felt bad for him (he was in a total mess) and forgave him, because I was sure I had moved on. We started talking over the course of the next few months, when he asked me to meet him without telling my bf, as he would surely not understand. Idk why I accepted the idea and met him twice on either of our birthdays, where he accepted that he still cares about me and would wanna give us a shot after his exams are done and if Im single or things don't work out with my current guy. I was broken into pieces by this, I guess I should've felt happy for it was karma, but I felt awful. After this he kissed me and I didn't really stop him, but felt like a horrible person after that. I went on a trip after this and decided to cut off ties with him. I told him either to get back with me right then or never talk to me again. In between that trip he started talking to a new girl, and after the fight he actually stopped talking to me. He said a lot of bad things about me and my relationship and never apologised. I Confessed to my bf later whatever happened and he somehow had the heart to forgive me. I do love this guy a lot, but I still tend to think about my ex even after one year of no contact. I tried to be on friendly terms in between the year, where he was formal in reply but very cold to me. What should I do to completely get him out of my head? I still try stalking him/ his current gf on social media even after repeated resolutions not to.Do you think he'll ever apologise for hurting me twice? I find it very difficult to trust people or give them second chances anymore..


Sorry for the crazy long post. But would appreciate some good advise. 🙂

Put this on the Cancer board bae 🙂