broken hearted

My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Can you do something to join him?

I know a couple in a similar situation, the girl spoke at her work place and also got transferred for the same period.

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Is he in the military?.... as in forced to go?...

Did he sign up or make himself available for relocation at his job?...if so, did he tell you about it....

If he did, feck that guy. He wasn't serious about you.

Posted by Greentea

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Is he in the military?.... as in forced to go?...

Did he sign up or make himself available for relocation at his job?...if so, did he tell you about it....

If he did, feck that guy. He wasn't serious about you.

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He is military. He put in for it years ago but cancelled for a different job in a different state where he wanted me to move to with him. But they said they wanted to send him overseas before even considering the state of his choice. And they told him there was no guarantee that he'll even be back in a year due to his job position. Which I'm ok with because I was military and understand how it can work. It's the distancing that's eating me up. I don't want him to just cut me off

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Can you do something to join him?

I know a couple in a similar situation, the girl spoke at her work place and also got transferred for the same period.

click to expand

Where he's going, I can't go

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by Greentea

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Is he in the military?.... as in forced to go?...

Did he sign up or make himself available for relocation at his job?...if so, did he tell you about it....

If he did, feck that guy. He wasn't serious about you.

He is military. He put in for it years ago but cancelled for a different job in a different state where he wanted me to move to with him. But they said they wanted to send him overseas before even considering the state of his choice. And they told him there was no guarantee that he'll even be back in a year due to his job position. Which I'm ok with because I was military and understand how it can work. It's the distancing that's eating me up. I don't want him to just cut me off

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Ok, it's military...they basically own you.

This is a tough situation, felt bad.for you. I want to tell you everything will work out but I know it's not that easy. Hope things can work though.

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Can you do something to join him?

I know a couple in a similar situation, the girl spoke at her work place and also got transferred for the same period.

Where he's going, I can't go

click to expand

I guess it's one of the sandboxes of the Middle East. Sorry to hear that, you need to talk to him and see what he has in mind. He is really the only one who can give you clarity now.

I guess I just gotta wait for him to come talk to me. He's scaring me. It's usually him insisting us seeing one another. Him shutting down like is terrifying. I haven't loved this hard since my first love in high school. I'm 33 now.

Posted by ariesheart
I guess I just gotta wait for him to come talk to me. He's scaring me. It's usually him insisting us seeing one another. Him shutting down like is terrifying. I haven't loved this hard since my first love in high school. I'm 33 now.

He is also trying to understand the situation and how to deal with it. Plus, as a Cancer he is probably deeply emotionally invested, he is going through a lot of pain too.

You guys have to work together on this, don't make it about you or him. You have to be talking about "we" and "us".

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by ariesheart
I guess I just gotta wait for him to come talk to me. He's scaring me. It's usually him insisting us seeing one another. Him shutting down like is terrifying. I haven't loved this hard since my first love in high school. I'm 33 now.

He is also trying to understand the situation and how to deal with it. Plus, as a Cancer he is probably deeply emotionally invested, he is going through a lot of pain too.

You guys have to work together on this, don't make it about you or him. You have to be talking about "we" and "us".

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Ugh, you're right. I have to not make it about me and see it from his point of view. I'm just scared, heart broken

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by ariesheart
I guess I just gotta wait for him to come talk to me. He's scaring me. It's usually him insisting us seeing one another. Him shutting down like is terrifying. I haven't loved this hard since my first love in high school. I'm 33 now.

He is also trying to understand the situation and how to deal with it. Plus, as a Cancer he is probably deeply emotionally invested, he is going through a lot of pain too.

You guys have to work together on this, don't make it about you or him. You have to be talking about "we" and "us".

Ugh, you're right. I have to not make it about me and see it from his point of view. I'm just scared, heart broken

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Relax, be calm and be adult about it. The only way through this is to talk to eachother and come up with a solid plan.

The other factor is that he is also probably scared about the overseas posting, is he a combatant or logistics?

Logistic

Posted by BlackMamba

Posted by Greentea

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Is he in the military?.... as in forced to go?...

Did he sign up or make himself available for relocation at his job?...if so, did he tell you about it....

If he did, feck that guy. He wasn't serious about you.

He's not serious about her but their families spent Thanksgiving together!

Can you stfu and get off our nuts already

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Can you stfu and quit bleeding all over me?

You don't know, last hoorah maybe...where has he been all week....huh!!

Greentea you're giving a bad name to one of my favorite drinks. Go get in a calming circle and chill out that aggro ass. ‚

They have military spouse and girlfriend support groups all over and online. Your relationship issue is more about that the an him being a Cancer. I had a FWB guy who was deployed and THEN decided that I should be his girlfriend. That was one of the more interesting times in my life. Lol...Any who, I found the online info on how to manage a deployment relationship to be VERY helpful.


You should look into it.

Great idea!

I'm so sorry! That sucks..hopefully you'll find a way to work it out!

Posted by DonnaElvira77

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by ariesheart
My cancer man's job is sending him overseas for a year. We just found out last week. Now he has been distancing himself from me. Text back and forth, but no hanging out. Last time I saw him, our families spent the whole thanksgiving week under one roof. Haven't seen him since last Sunday, which I know isn't a long time ago but we haven't spent this much time apart since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sick to my stomach. He says he'll TRY and come see me, but still hasn't. I'm in a lot of pain. Dont know what to do. I wanna give him the world. Let him know that I'll always be here.

Can you do something to join him?

I know a couple in a similar situation, the girl spoke at her work place and also got transferred for the same period.

It could be that they are at a place in life when this seems not right or not worth it. Moving yourself for a relationship when you are in your early twenties doesn't necessarily make sense.

And OP he is living his life as if he has no commitments to you. So I would be wary of committing to a move for him etc. But trying to keep it up when he is abroad is different. But as regards that he is not making half the effort so that is going to be tough. You can't make someone put the work in.

It doesn't sound like this is going to work.

It sounds like he knows that too. And perhaps he knows he is not the long distance relationship and can't deal with the reality and practicalities. We cancers are like that. Thus the shelling.

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I agree with the long distance thing, that's a killer for cancers usually unless they know it's only for a specific time period. In this case he does seem unsure.

Posted by DonnaElvira77

Posted by MsTeeq1974
They have military spouse and girlfriend support groups all over and online. Your relationship issue is more about that the an him being a Cancer. I had a FWB guy who was deployed and THEN decided that I should be his girlfriend. That was one of the more interesting times in my life. Lol...Any who, I found the online info on how to manage a deployment relationship to be VERY helpful.


You should look into it.

That's the best post in this thread to be honest.

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That's not what I was aiming for, but thank you.

Posted by BlackMamba
You should get pregnant! You're not getting any younger! Plus by time he comes back he'll be a father

Lol, not gonna lie... I thought about it!!!

We talk every day and has yet been face to face. It's like he's hiding. We're both in our 30s, kids from previous relationships, and he's always been the one pushing this relationship to go further. I dont want to lose him.

Posted by ariesheart

Posted by BlackMamba
You should get pregnant! You're not getting any younger! Plus by time he comes back he'll be a father

Lol, not gonna lie... I thought about it!!!

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What? That's crazy!