Cancer guy randomly starts to ignore me? Help!

This is a long distance relationship - we are not dating, but have been talking for a few months now and kind of like each other. The other day we had a conversation where we discussed about liking each other and it was a deep yet light/fun conversation. We were joking/flirting with each other and it was all good. Now he's gone - poof!..and we used text each other every day..he's totally pulled back..he's not texted at all..I really dont understand what went wrong??!...I (libra woman) have not initiated contact either (its been 2 days now..kinda awkward too, since we used to text everyday, its like a cold war for no reason). I read about giving a cancer guy space and let him contact you..not to chase him...Is this true? should I just let him be and he will come around?

Kiss him goodbye.
I'm sorry.

He will contact you...

Well if he don't contact you at all by Tuesday, then forget his azz. You can't sit around & wait for someone who isn't freely giving you any of their time. it's not like you his gf. Don't contact him all ok. Not all Cancer men act like him when we love someone. Usually you'll know if a Cancer likes you by their actions alone. You want have to question their love. I know for me, I don't need much space. I actually can't stand detached partners. But that's just me

I never knew Cancer men to need much space. I don't know where you read that but I disagree.

@bistrokelly:
It doesn't sound like there is much to build on.
If this is an online thing, is there something more beyond texts?

@canceronthecusp:

yes, we used to talk on phone too, almost every day. I really don't know what to do because everything was fine and all of a sudden this behavior...

God...I miss talking to him 😢...wonder if he's even thinking about me..

Little Libra do not mirror him. Contact him if nothing after Wednesday. Just send something like a funny picture of something. People just don't randomly ignore people either.

He could be also very busy. I worked my butt off all weekend along with house sitting my friend's farm. Getting up at 6am to feed cute chickens then heading to work in corporate world can be tiring!

It's only been 2 days so chill. I'm sure it's ok.

the cancer guys ive dated have all done this...pull back, silence, coldness. Then BAM outta nowhere, "hey whats up".

Don't contact him ever time he decides he wants to disappear or not give a fuq. Real Cancer men don't treat their partners like that. How you miss someone who doesn't make time for you, & ignores you. I don't see the logic behind that unless you afraid to be alone. I rather be alone than be with someone who ignores my contact & doesn't freely (not forced) make time for me. You gotta have respect for yourself & not put up with this.

Plus if he WAS thinking about you, you wouldn't be here worrying & writing about him online. He would have been contacted you. Think about that. It makes sense to me

Ok everyone....thanks for all your replies...so he did contact me today...i was busy so could not talk right away...not sure if I should mention/ask about the disappearance..or let it be and act like nothing happened..?! What do you think?

today is the 4th day

Well do ask what he has been up to since you haven't heard from him. Say it in way that makes it seem like you aren't desperate for his attention. Try calling him so you can have a real conversation. Also if he does it again, its time let him go. Do let him know you aren't going be putting up with him ignoring you. Make sure he knows that if he wants you, he's gon have to make some effort. I wish you the best.

thank you so much guys!! makes sense!...will keep you updated about what happens..

kiss him good bye...it will become worse...

ok peeps...so now hes all of a sudden showing too much interest...i dont understand this cancer guy, but this time will be careful..and not fall for this side of his like before...i guess they are always hot & cold..take it or leave it?!

Well You have to decide if this is something you wanna put up with in the long-term. If he does do it again, I would drop his azz. Not all Cancers pull that hot & cold stunts on someone they love unless he needs time to recharge his emotions. If a Cancer goes in their shell, its best to leave them be until they feel better. If they care, they'll be out to talk to you in no time. So don't pressure him ok. Hope everything works out 🙂

yes..I am being guarded with him now - not even doing it on purpose...just don't want to feel frustrated again...politely replying to him but not initiating too much...weird part is..the more i m guarded/pulling away a little, the more hes approaching me...only he has been initiating - its not that I dont want to initiate, but he does not give me a chance too..lol i can say..he's chasing me...so i guess he is interested..lets see where this goes...

Well eventually you'll have to initiate cintact if things go further. Just see if his new behavior last for more than a couple of days. If he it does, than he might mean business. You doing good so far ok. Let him know, you are to be valued, loved, & respected 🙂

Thank you so much for all your feedback...will keep this post updated 🙂

Haha..happy for you too!! 🙂...yeah 2 water signs always tend to connect

Ok so here we go again!...this time he has not disappeared but I really don't get this behavior?! - Like I mentioned before that this is a long distance association, so there is a time difference between the countries we are in - so the other day we were finally talking on the phone for hardly 15 mins late at night (my time), last couple of days we didn't get a chance to talk over the phone..only text..so finally we found time and within 15 mins he says "can I call you in 10 mins, as I am chatting about something important with a friend" so I said ok and then for 45 minutes..no call..nothing..finally he texted and apologized that it is taking longer and I replied saying, thats fine. After that, we did talk, as I was still up not getting sleep and the conversation was fine.

PS: This is not the first time this has happened that he has made me wait late at night.

Now people, please be honest - am I overreacting? I just feel he is not considerate, i am up so late to talk to him and he conveniently takes his own time, knowing that its late at night for me. Are cancerians like this, when they don't care? Or am I just making a big deal out of nothing?

i told you it would become worse...you are just overenthusiastic to hear....go on...it will hurt nobody else but you...

Become worse? but why? What is the reason for it becoming worse?

don't work around his schedule. You have your own things to take care, don't wait for him.
you wait as long as you can, but if it gets dragging,
simply tell him it's late and you're off to bed now, will talk to him next time (maybe adding a little smiley face)
if he likes you, he will find his way getting to talk with you since he knows you are not waiting
but if he puts no effort.. then you know

Posted by bistrokelly
Become worse? but why? What is the reason for it becoming worse?

i think this is their defence mechanism...consciously or unconsciously...they push limits[emotionally or in other ways] to see how you react, to see how much you are willing to bend/stretch till they get trust in you[IF their intentions are sincere and honorable]...if, taking the previous poster's comment into consideration, don't react dramatically but very composed[which i do as an aqua], they become more and more creative to get any emotion from you...

i don't know how it feels for a water sign like you, but for an air sign like me, who has little to zero tolerance for drama of any sort....it is annoying and it throws me farther and farther away from him...

you are now worried about not calling you on time...wait for the moments when you'll have to deal with his moods, childish mumbling or stingy remarks when you un/intentionally criticise him, his "shell time" etc...this is what i've discovered in a year...right now i am seriously considering letting him go...

i am not saying they are bad guys...no....they are sweet and charming and caring...but, for me, too emo...currently i'm dealing with this "shell time" of his...actually he's dealing with it as i am doing NOTHING but go on with my life...and i am determined to do NOTHING...he won't get me with these bullshit...

good luck

@Mz: Thanks...everything you said does make a lot of sense..and can so relate to it...by the way, I am an air sign too 🙂...I guess at the end its about what choice I make for myself...

Yep, you need to listen to your own heart on this. You gotta make the choice, is this guy worth all the stress he's putting you through. You gotta start putting your foot down with this or he'll continue doing what he wants to do. You could try calls, that way it can decrease the wait times, you'll have better conversations, & you'll get to hear his voice. It seems to me, like he doesn't care. That's why i hate text messages. It takes forever to have a decent conversation that way, & it's boring lol.

Also who says you gotta wait around for him. He should be the 1 waiting around for YOU lol. You are the prize, & is to be respected. Don't let any guy treat you less than you deserve ok. You should be happy, not stressed. You need to go enjoy your life. If he can't make time for you, i'm positive there's a good man who will put in the work to love you 🙂. If you get tired, tell him you don't have time to be waiting on him. Say That you got things to do the next day & that you are going to bed. If he don't clean up his act, then you'll find someone who will honor you! I bet he'll straighten up then. If not, he can get the steppin 😄

i must disagree...

bistrokelly, don't tell him[or any other man] anything...absolutely nothing...when you tell a man what you don't like about him, hoping he'll change, you practically give him the weapon with which he hurts you later...at most make some general remarks about men/relationships in general, be very composed, observe a man's behaviour, be a lady and make your own decisions at your own pace...PERIOD. you don't owe him anything and he doesn't owe you anything...

i am not telling you to close up...i'm telling you to communicate using tools men understand...and these are YOUR ACTIONS. if you say "i usually go to bed at 11p.m." then do it this way and never answer your phone if he calls you later than that...etc etc etc

oh...forgot to tell you...be sweet but firm...that's all

Its ultimately each individual - the only thing i can say is been there done that. Tried being understanding as usual - got taken advantage of. Tried expressing my views calmly - didnt work. Being an airsign we think with our heads. Dont get drawn into the drama if you are not used to it, he is an expert in the game. Be strong and respect yourself.

Thank you guys for all your feedback...really helps...and feel so much better 🙂

And the drama starts again...So last week I ignored my cancer man for 2 days because last couple of weekends he used to keep ignoring my texts and then msg me on weekdays only. He then texted me asking whts wrong and I honestly told him that I feel he avoids me and thus I dont want to be a pile on. he obviously defended himself saying that hes just been busy. After that we were all normal and i felt he was giving me a little more attention, texting me, calling me, telling me he likes me..all this lasted for about 3 days and then he randomly just blocked me on a social app. I called him and he din't answer, then next day he called me back and spoke very normally like nothing happened. He said there is something wrong with his phone - I know it for a fact he is lying. I mean why? why would he do this? Whats going on in his head?

i am still blocked on that social app, and haven't called him after the last time he called because i dont want to chase..Please advise..this is killing me..😢

Posted by bistrokelly
And the drama starts again...So last week I ignored my cancer man for 2 days because last couple of weekends he used to keep ignoring my texts and then msg me on weekdays only. He then texted me asking whts wrong and I honestly told him that I feel he avoids me and thus I dont want to be a pile on. he obviously defended himself saying that hes just been busy. After that we were all normal and i felt he was giving me a little more attention, texting me, calling me, telling me he likes me..all this lasted for about 3 days and then he randomly just blocked me on a social app. I called him and he din't answer, then next day he called me back and spoke very normally like nothing happened. He said there is something wrong with his phone - I know it for a fact he is lying. I mean why? why would he do this? Whats going on in his head?

i am still blocked on that social app, and haven't called him after the last time he called because i dont want to chase..Please advise..this is killing me..😢

can you, please, go on with your life and forget about him———??

no matter the reason he behaves like this to you...it makes you uncomfortable...that's all which matters after all....the rest are details you'll forget in a couple of months if you don't inflate them in your head...

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
Well if he don't contact you at all by Tuesday, then forget his azz. You can't sit around & wait for someone who isn't freely giving you any of their time. it's not like you his gf. Don't contact him all ok. Not all Cancer men act like him when we love someone. Usually you'll know if a Cancer likes you by their actions alone. You want have to question their love. I know for me, I don't need much space. I actually can't stand detached partners. But that's just me

I can see what ur talking about .. I do value ur responses in the forum.

Can you give some insight on my situation? I will truly appreciate it

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/cancer-ex-boyfriend-texting-me-5030552/

Seriously I went through this with a cancer guy,he will keep doing this as long as yo allow him to