Cancer M & Taurus F?

I doubt he had her before we started - because right off the bat we were texting 24/7, he had me over at his house whenever he was not at work, spent nights together, introduced me to ALL his friends/family, etc. Maybe during the month things started to turn bad, but I don't know, so I'll try not to assume.

He was doing all the chasing - and I am an introverted Taurus, the quiet to his outgoing personality. Friends would say things like I complemented him because I kept him "balanced" and family joked about if we had problems, he'd probably be the source since they liked me so much. I am more guarded than him even though I showed interest so soon, and he was always wanting me to vocalize my feelings even if I'd texted them, send him good morning texts because he sent them to me, etc. basically reciprocate the levels even though naturally he is a bit more clingy and I am too, just not at first.

When things had gotten bad, I was the one initiating conversations, sending good morning/ good night texts, etc. I thought it was a rough patch and didn't want to jump ship just because he was focusing on his goals and dealing with personal issues (because he DID ignore responsibilities when we were first together in love, showing up to work late to spend more time with me, stuff like that...)

Update, I accidentally watched one of his Snaps and apparently he is going out to the club tonight with all his friends. He always used to tell me things like how before he met me there was a hole in his life and whenever he had family/friend issues he knew I was always there to comfort him. He said he hoped I would never get tired of him, cheat on him, etc., said he would go crazy if anything happened to me health-wise. Like it was that intense for him. But now that we're apart I feel like he won't even realize what he is missing on because he has all his friends (he has a LOT) to spend his time with and distract himself with you know?

I know Taurus is pretty good about calling me on my shit in a funny way and overpowering me at times but there is something very enduring about the sign that Aries doesn't have so I think you have a better chance than you think that this could work. You just gotta show you are someone really worth respect by showing your strength and showing your above games like many Taurus people are.

Just be like "hey I like you but i dont think its fair to treat me this way u asshole." That a perfect way to talk to a Cancer, show your self-respect but also show your not some dumb woman who is wasting his time.

My Pisces friend is married to a Taurus woman and he gets all antsy and thinks she doesn't love him and he tries to leave because of abandonment issues from childhood and she is an expert at calming him down. "You aint going anywhere because I love you dammit".

Water signs like Pisces and Cancer need you to show your strength,understanding and vulnerability all in one sentence if it comes to that. I

think you just got to stay true to who you are and the main thing for this relationship to work is he wants someone he respects and can overlook his emotional tantrums just like the Taurus has a bad temper and we can deal with it. Above all else but you gotta show your a straight shooter and not a game player.

part of the appeal is that we can show each other our crazy sides, that is the most appealing and freeing aspect of it once we get to know each other lol.

Did I read two months? You've been dating him for two months and wished him happy anniversary for that, correct?

"after sending a few unanswered (but opened) messages the next day, i ask if he’s mad at me hence the ignoring and he says no. that he’s just been busy, stressed, the usual things he’s been saying since the behavior changed and he also said he realized he could take it out on me. so i said okay and asked about when i could see him. and he confessed that he had met someone else a few days ago (probably during that week of space) and i asked if he was leaving me for her. he said no, like he said he was busy, but that he and the girl had been getting close. he also said he wanted to settle down and he knew i wasn’t ready - something that he couldn’t possibly say after reading the letters i wrote him. "

He's 21 and that is cause for concern because at this age a lot of guys will say and do all kinds of grand gestures to keep the sex flowing freely. Once all the grand gestures of love have been used by him, bought by you and sold by him he's off to bag another and he'll do this often until he out grows the behavior.

Plus we women love that sweep me off my feet behavior which can truly be a blind spot for us because we want it to be real so bad that we fail to see the potential pitfalls glaring at us as were being swept off our feet.

With that being said...

"Immediately asked me out and consummated our relationship, constant texts, always wanted to see me, a bit clingy in the beginning, saw each other almost everyday, were in love, spent weekends with each other, planned on getting married, swore he’d never cheat/leave, said no one had loved me like i did, no one ever did the things i did for him, etc. thought we had it all & i had nothing to worry about. "

You allowed this guy to bulldoze you over, he took you fast sexually and he LOVE BOMBED you (Google love bombing) and you will read how love bombing begins and ends.

"Love bombing is initially carried out through excessive phone calls, text messages, emails, the constant desire to be in close contact whether virtual or physical and the desire to be connected almost every moment of every day."

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/love-bombing-a-seductive-manipulative-technique/

He admitted he took his anger out on you b/c he knew he can. He baited you with fights and when that didnt work he began his ignore her campaign and then he callously dumped you and he's moved on quickly as if you never existed, he's very content knowing he left you emotionally desperate over him which gives him the ego boost that he's SPECIAL.

He's so special because he has the old girl twisted up in knots over him while he bags a new love victim. I" M so special she's dying inside without me, she's chasing me, she's pathetic over me. I'm off to the club!! Whoo hoo!! I'm feeling myself (I just puked a little in my mouth)

This guy is young but he's learning early how to covertly play and manipulate women.

Men who typically date with this pattern are covert narcissist, bipolar, suffer from depression, pick up artist or just your every day regular guys learning and using pick up artist techniques covertly on the low.

Narcissist in training typically SHINE the spotlight on one female at a time, she feels like she hit the MAN LOTTERY, but, once he captures her with all his grand sweep her off her feet gestures he then slowly begins to focus on the negatives and then the DevalUE her and DUMP HER CAMPAIGN BEGINS. VOILA!! A new source of supply takes your place, the new unsuspecting girl takes your place and she'll be treated the exact same way.

Posted by tiki33
"after sending a few unanswered (but opened) messages the next day, i ask if he’s mad at me hence the ignoring and he says no. that he’s just been busy, stressed, the usual things he’s been saying since the behavior changed and he also said he realized he could take it out on me. so i said okay and asked about when i could see him. and he confessed that he had met someone else a few days ago (probably during that week of space) and i asked if he was leaving me for her. he said no, like he said he was busy, but that he and the girl had been getting close. he also said he wanted to settle down and he knew i wasn’t ready - something that he couldn’t possibly say after reading the letters i wrote him. "

He's 21 and that is cause for concern because at this age a lot of guys will say and do all kinds of grand gestures to keep the sex flowing freely. Once all the grand gestures of love have been used by him, bought by you and sold by him he's off to bag another and he'll do thhis often until he out grows the behavior.

Plus we women love that sweep me off my feet behavior which can truly be a blind spot for us because we want it to be real so bad that we fail to see the potential pitfalls glaring at us as were being swept off our feet.

With that being said...

"Immediately asked me out and consummated our relationship, constant texts, always wanted to see me, a bit clingy in the beginning, saw each other almost everyday, were in love, spent weekends with each other, planned on getting married, swore he’d never cheat/leave, said no one had loved me like i did, no one ever did the things i did for him, etc. thought we had it all & i had nothing to worry about. "

You allowed this guy to bulldoze you over, he took you fast sexually and he LOVE BOMBED you (Google love bombing) and you will read how love bombing begins and ends.

"Love bombing is initially carried out through excessive phone calls, text messages, emails, the constant desire to be in close contact whether virtual or physical and the desire to be connected almost every moment of every day."

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/love-bombing-a-seductive-manipulative-technique/

He admitted he took his anger out on you b/c he knew he can. He baited you with fights and when that didnt work he began his ignore her campaign and then he callously dumped you and he's moved on quickly as if you never existed, he's very content knowing he left you emotionally desperate over him which gives him the ego boost that he's SPECIAL.

He's so special because he has the old girl twisted up in knots over him while he bags a new love victim. I" M so special she's dying inside without me, she's chasing me, she's pathetic over me. I'm off to the club!! Whoo hoo!! I'm feeling myself (I just puked a little in my mouth)

This guy is young but he's learning early how to covertly play and manipulate women.

Men who typically date with this pattern are covert narcissist, bipolar, suffer from depression, pick up artist or just your every day regular guys learning and using pick up artist techniques covertly on the low.

Narcissist in training typically SHINE the spotlight on one female at a time, she feels like she hit the MAN LOTTERY, but, once he captures her with all his grand sweep her off her feet gestures he then slowly begins to focus on the negatives and then the DevalUE her and DUMP HER CAMPAIGN BEGINS. VOILA!! A new source of supply takes your place, the new unsuspecting girl takes your place and she'll be treated the exact same way.

So sad but sounds true

Posted by tiki33
"after sending a few unanswered (but opened) messages the next day, i ask if he’s mad at me hence the ignoring and he says no. that he’s just been busy, stressed, the usual things he’s been saying since the behavior changed and he also said he realized he could take it out on me. so i said okay and asked about when i could see him. and he confessed that he had met someone else a few days ago (probably during that week of space) and i asked if he was leaving me for her. he said no, like he said he was busy, but that he and the girl had been getting close. he also said he wanted to settle down and he knew i wasn’t ready - something that he couldn’t possibly say after reading the letters i wrote him. "

He's 21 and that is cause for concern because at this age a lot of guys will say and do all kinds of grand gestures to keep the sex flowing freely. Once all the grand gestures of love have been used by him, bought by you and sold by him he's off to bag another and he'll do this often until he out grows the behavior.

Plus we women love that sweep me off my feet behavior which can truly be a blind spot for us because we want it to be real so bad that we fail to see the potential pitfalls glaring at us as were being swept off our feet.

With that being said...

"Immediately asked me out and consummated our relationship, constant texts, always wanted to see me, a bit clingy in the beginning, saw each other almost everyday, were in love, spent weekends with each other, planned on getting married, swore he’d never cheat/leave, said no one had loved me like i did, no one ever did the things i did for him, etc. thought we had it all & i had nothing to worry about. "

You allowed this guy to bulldoze you over, he took you fast sexually and he LOVE BOMBED you (Google love bombing) and you will read how love bombing begins and ends.

"Love bombing is initially carried out through excessive phone calls, text messages, emails, the constant desire to be in close contact whether virtual or physical and the desire to be connected almost every moment of every day."

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/01/love-bombing-a-seductive-manipulative-technique/

He admitted he took his anger out on you b/c he knew he can. He baited you with fights and when that didnt work he began his ignore her campaign and then he callously dumped you and he's moved on quickly as if you never existed, he's very content knowing he left you emotionally desperate over him which gives him the ego boost that he's SPECIAL.

He's so special because he has the old girl twisted up in knots over him while he bags a new love victim. I" M so special she's dying inside without me, she's chasing me, she's pathetic over me. I'm off to the club!! Whoo hoo!! I'm feeling myself (I just puked a little in my mouth)

This guy is young but he's learning early how to covertly play and manipulate women.

Men who typically date with this pattern are covert narcissist, bipolar, suffer from depression, pick up artist or just your every day regular guys learning and using pick up artist techniques covertly on the low.

Narcissist in training typically SHINE the spotlight on one female at a time, she feels like she hit the MAN LOTTERY, but, once he captures her with all his grand sweep her off her feet gestures he then slowly begins to focus on the negatives and then the DevalUE her and DUMP HER CAMPAIGN BEGINS. VOILA!! A new source of supply takes your place, the new unsuspecting girl takes your place and she'll be treated the exact same way.

Good post, Tiki! Very informative. It's hard to spot a narcissist even as an adult. I'd say that if something is too good to be true, it most of the time is.

Posted by Canbullrius

Posted by danacandice
I've been pouring through countless Cancer/Taurus posts on multiple websites but everyone else's situation was so different I knew I needed to make one about my unique situation. Thank you for all your time reading this, I know it's a lengthy post. And can't thank you enough for all your advice and insight!!!

That's ok, i like to help if i can, and being a Cancer myself is a huge advantage as i can tell it how it is with us.

Good luck 🙂

click to expand

Reading everyone else's feedback has made me a little uneasy about what I should do next concerning my Cancer ex though. I was going to do what you said - letting him see me happy AND sad, sending a simple "I miss you text" - but these responses are making me reconsider.

Every time I post something online - which has been Fri, Sat, and Sun so far - he has viewed it on Snapchat/Instagram. Hopeful me thinks he misses me and wants to see what I'm up to, pessimist me thinks he's just being nosy or trying to convince himself not to feel guilty because I look happy.

Someone on another post said "Regarding posting stories on social media, usually the happier you seem, the more the other person will want to be part of your life again." however I didn't mention our signs in that post, so idk if that applies to Cancers? Since you did say that I should show I'm sad too. So far it's just been happy posts - selfies, going out with friends, etc.

Also I was reconsidering the "I miss you" text because I have so much I want to say to him and he could easily ignore that. I've been to his house plenty so I know where it is and his address. Would it be creepy to a Cancer guy to actually mail him a handwritten letter or does that show effort? I've given him letters before but that was all in person. And we're 20/21 so it's a bit weird but I mean to girls that's romantic but guys might find that stalkerish.

It's not even been 2 months ? And you are already dealing with this stuff? He's moved on ... I suggest you do the same. He's ignoring you, that is not some big cancer mystery to solve. It's a sign that he is just not that into you anymore, Hun. Do not ever grovel for anyone. You told him how you felt, the ball is in his court, he is ignoring it.

Also, sorry to tell you, but yes cancer men do lie... Just like every other single person on the planet. Lol

They may not divulge all the information and in their mind, that's not lying, but it is.

Posted by Canbullrius

Posted by danacandice
I've been pouring through countless Cancer/Taurus posts on multiple websites but everyone else's situation was so different I knew I needed to make one about my unique situation. Thank you for all your time reading this, I know it's a lengthy post. And can't thank you enough for all your advice and insight!!!

That's ok, i like to help if i can, and being a Cancer myself is a huge advantage as i can tell it how it is with us.

Good luck 🙂

click to expand

I'm going to have to point out the flaw here... You tell it how YOU perceive and live your life and it isn't always the way it is with other cancers.

I've been reading some of your posts and you seem to have a fairly decent head on your shoulders. But you make very specific statements such as cancer men: Don't lie, they don't run, they don't hide., the best is they don't cheat. You may not do those things, but many, many others do. As you can see from all the threads in the cancer section lol

I love cancer men to my detriment, but they are not infallible by any means.

Anyway, sorry to derail OP, just wanted to speak up about this.

You've been dating only two months. That's not long enough for love, that's infatuation.

People rarely show their true self at the beginning. Seems like he's getting comfortable and showing his true colors. This is most likely a pattern for him...telling girls he loves them and wants marriage and kids and once they return the sentiment he loses interest and moves onto the next. 21 is 11 in guy maturity years.