Cancer man not making the move after nearly 4 months!

Hi,

Met a crab man (with aquarius moon, mars in taurus and venus in leo) online at the start of March this year - so far, it's all been ok, he contacts me daily to ask how I am etc, bought me a nice present for my birthday, eager for us to hang out, and says he really likes me, does compliment me e.g. on personality and looks

but I did mention to him before that I hadn't been with anyone "physically" (as in all the way but have done other "stuff") and that I'd have to wait another year (which is a religious thing haha).. he did seem surprised but said that he didn't mind at all and everything continued as it was, he still seemed eager, etc.

When we have text convos or in real life, a lot of it is very intellectual like about politics, various topics in the news etc. and he often does ask about me, tells me about himself, his family etc.

BUT he doesn't ever initiate anything physically - (he does seem a bit reserved but he's slept with 10+ people in the past so it's not like things are going slow due to his lack of experience).. even with hugs, it's me initiating them so he has to take part haha but no kisses or naughty flirty texts at all - he seems to very respectful (as if I am his boss or something haha)

Is it weird to have been out three times (across nearly 4 months now) and have texted daily yet no progress beyond a hug (which we've done since we met first time)? Aside from that, he seems totally fine and even removed his dating website profile after a month of us meeting. Any insight?

Thank you

Ummm you told him no sex, so what do you expect? He's respecting your boundaries and also trying not to get too excited.

no sex for a year ? damn......crazy, couldn't do it, why the fuck would i have to wait if both people want this...just because of some religion?you better hold to this one tight, as fucked up as it sounds, for people who have sex drive and need it, it's hard to wait for such long time, i def wouldn't, not 17yrs old. 😄

Btw, how is this a religion thing OP?

aj123...

I don't believe the Cancer man is the problem.

Your intentions are ambiguous, misleading, and somewhat vague.

You're asserting pre-marital sex is not an option, except for one year.

What religion are you affiliated with that places restrictions on one and not the other?

You did other stuff? Care to elaborate?

Do you want to do 'other stuff" with this Cancer male?

Were you clear about what you wanted?

Makes sense that he wouldn't want to get physical with you and then have to wait a year for any payoff. The point of messing around/foreplay is sex. You took sex off the table and he respected your decision.

Now it's your turn to respect his.

Posted by TaurusBull1977
aj123...

I don't believe the Cancer man is the problem.

Your intentions are ambiguous, misleading, and somewhat vague.

You're asserting pre-marital sex is not an option, except for one year.

What religion are you affiliated with that places restrictions on one and not the other?

You did other stuff? Care to elaborate?

Do you want to do 'other stuff" with this Cancer male?

Were you clear about what you wanted?

Thank you for all your helpful posts - more comments would be greatly appreciated. Hm I mainly said it was a religious thing to make it quicker to explain. In reality, it's mix of a parental and religious thing - religion basically discourages anything pre-marital whereas parents wouldn't go that far but say after a certain age (and no, not the classic 18 or 16 which most people use but a bit older than that) they believe that we are less likely to make impulsive incorrect decisions with regards to who we date and so on. I don't think I'll have a different mind-set or a drastic increase in maturity within a year but having waited so long (nearly a quarter of a century haha), it's not too bad waiting just a bit longer to reach the special age haha.



Other stuff as in making out (clothes on and/or off).

I wasn't super clear about it all to him, as it would make everything sound a bit creepy and full-on otherwise - I always thought the guy would initiate any physical stuff but just wondering what it might mean (in his perspective) not to make a physical move in over 3 months of dating... I did tell him I've done "other stuff" before and I am more extrovert and livelier than him (he's a bit more polite and reserved compared to me) so I don't think any of my body language or behaviour should make him think I am closed off to any physical contact?

Any more views or insights are greatly appreciated. Thank you

It sounds more like a friendship.

Posted by Moonbutter
Ummm you told him no sex, so what do you expect? He's respecting your boundaries and also trying not to get too excited.

Lol humans are complicated...

And my prob. With cancer ex bf is that he never respected boundaries 😄 im so falling off my chair over this

Thanks for your replies everyone. Any more comments from people on this matter would be appreciated.

I did read somewhere that Mars in Taurus, like him, people are generally quite slow but steady in the physical sense e.g. to initiate physical contact. I have Mars in Aries, which is probably why I find it a bit difficult to understand...



Does anyone know if this is all a good sign (he is shy or sees no need to rush things as he views it as a potentially serious relationship) or a bad sign, as in just doesn't feel enough attraction, etc?

Thanks

Wait a minute.

So you want him to be kissing on you, getting all hot and bothered. And than you slam on the breaks?

Thus giving him blue balls every other day?

—

Thanks for your reply. Hha others I have been with in the past were more than happy to make out, etc knowing we wouldn't be going "all the way" so I didn't think anyone would have the all or nothing viewpoint on this...

Any more comments from people very appreciated 🙂

Thank you.

My mars is in Taurus. He is respecting your boundaries. You said no sex and he respects that. I'm very patient and can wait. I don't rush anything. It takes some time to decide what I want. I need to decide for myself if they are the kind of person I want to have sex with or invest time in. You're going to have to make it obvious when your ready to have sex because he won't probably bring it up. I wouldn't. Just don't play games. Don't initiate till your ready. You don't want to piss off Mars in Taurus. We are stubborn and once we decide it isn't worth it, it isn't worth it. Once my mind is made up it's made up.

Ok now to the good part lol....we like the slow burn approach while making love. That means lots of physical foreplay. We like touch, taste, smell, and seeing things while making love. Massage is a huge turn on. Once we start making love we can make it last for a very long time. So what I'm trying to say is drink some orange juice and eat some Wheaties cause girl your gonna need all that energy (just kidding...sort of). It should be enjoyable depending on how good he is. Once he gets going he should be full steam ahead. Ok...now I need to stop cause I'm getting shy all of a sudden.

Just make it obvious when your ready. He won't bring it up so you will have to. Don't play any games. Like when your ready be ready. Best of luck 😄

Nononno.