Cheating Cancers

In an on again off again relationship with a cancer man for 11 years. I caught him cheating on me when we were in a long distance relationship 7 years ago while I was pregnant with his child. I forgave him And to prove himself to me he quit his job, and moved in with me , to be a family. We split again for a year , and recently agreed to make it official in October. I then moved in with him, and lived there for about 4 months when I caught him cheating again. Apparently he was involved in something, for a while before I came back into his life .. but I was given mixed single according to her they were on again off again since June... but during this time I would visit him spend time with him the whole nine. He would often call me and beg me to come be with him because he said he missed me etc. In my eyes it seemed as if he was trying to replace me but she didnt measure up to me, or either I was just the stupid rebound he knew he could count on whenever he was lonely. Keep in mind though that I do have a child with this Cancer, and although he would often bring up the fact that he wanted to get married.. I declined because when I did say yes previously he got cold feet and backed out at the last minute. so I told him no each time after that for fear of getting hurt and let down again. So back to the cheating thing again. Once he was caught I packed up and moved out within 16 hours of getting confirmation from the other gyrl. I was out of there, the first week he was oh so sorry, he loved me so much he didnt care about her it was all my fault I didnt show him any attention/affection etc. Me being a typical virgo I analyzed the situation over and over again in my head trying to figure out where exactly I went wrong. I accepted his apology and he would come spend the night my child and I at my new home, etc. Maybe I forgave him too quick because as soon as he thought everything was all good again he went back to being his old mean self again. This sent me into an outrage I felt as if I should still be getting apologies etc. & reminded him of how badly he screwed up. He came to the conclusion now that he doesnt care, he says hes tired of my attitude etc. He calls frequently but says its only because he wants to speak to the child... When I go to his house hes very distant towards me but doesnt want me to leave.... Can anyone shed light on this situation for me

I think this is not about this guy being a cancer or not. The thing is, this guy seems like a jerk, & dats dat. Have a clean break if possible & move on. Life's short. You don't have another 11 years to drag on & suffer.

2 cents worth.

you must be mistaken, b/c cancers don't cheat. you sure this guy isn't a sag, or have lots of sag in his chart? or maybe even libra....cancers are too loyal and home-loving to cheat.

riighhhttt, u must be mistaken scorp, cuz cancers do cheta, jus liek every sign cheats lol

Yeah, but you might not like the light I will shine ... a couple things that jumped out at me ...

"he wanted to get married.. I declined because when I did say yes previously he got cold feet and backed out at the last minute. so I told him no each time after that for fear of getting hurt and let down again."

It appears to me that you regard a piece of paper as a determing factor as to whether you could possibly get hurt .. while completely disregarding that his actions are causing this anyway .. and that appears quite odd to me. Almost as if this "title" would be at fault if didn't work out, instead of the terms of union within the two hearts .. disturbing.

"He came to the conclusion now that he doesnt care, he says hes tired of my attitude etc."

This sentence appears to me as though it is suggesting that the terms of this union is based solely on his desires. Throughout the decade long on/off attempts of being a partnership, you have stood by, leaving it up to his discretion as to whether he still wants you or not .. and if he has decided to want you at a particular time, then you have forgiven him, as though, you don't have a say-so for the direction your life-path will take you.

Now .. you are at a loss because his new decision is that he doesn't want you.

Heads-up .. ANY person, male or female, throughout the whole zodiac wheel .. if you lay at their feet to be at their beck-n-call .. they WILL rule you and consider you an inferiour because this is the position in which you placed yourself.

My words of advice would be to put focus where it belongs = your own dignity, so you can grow a sense of self-worth as being judged from your own integrity, rather than awaiting value to be bestowed upon you by another person.

In an on again off again relationship with a cancer man for 11 years.

Goodness me! 11 years is WAAYY too long to spend with such a terrible man 😢 My ex-cancer was an asshole too, but his behavior can be characterized in all kinds of men.

Sounds like you been in love with him for 11 years, but HE's been taking advantage of you for 11 years. The only thing he may have ever felt was comfort. No one treats the person they love like he's treated you.

P-Angel has stated nothing wrong. She's all together right actually. If you let people stump all over you, they usually will. It takes an awesome person to realize that using a person is wrong and that karma will come back to haunt them one day.

Believe me, I know. Karma is happening to one of my exs right now, a Saggie guy actually.

So yeah, focus on your child and get him the hell out of your life. He will continue bringing down your spirit if you don't.

too true crab...thank you.

you are very very good! 🙂

Kudos, Crab!

I'm a cancer. And I have cheated. :hangs head in shame:

I do flirts...but not cheating...🙂 even i'm also same as Crab with that venus of course 😉

owhh Crab..why u keep on hiding your post?

Sorry to hear that Crab...😢

We all are must have done something that we are not proud of...but we learn from it...😉

Goodnight Crabby! 😛

Sweet Dreams 😉

I forgave him And to prove himself to me he quit his job, and moved in with me , to be a family. We split again for a year , and recently agreed to make it official in October. I then moved in with him, and lived there for about 4 months when I caught him cheating again. Apparently he was involved in something, for a while before I came back into his life....

I am not here to cricitize you but you have to look at some things here in your post.

I KNOW down south there is a BIG thing were the men get together with their kids mother OR another woman for income tax reasons. They "ACT" good for the sake of claiming their child on their taxes and then dumb the woman once they get a refund. I am not saying this is your case but I hear ALOT of women complaining right now about men doing something similiar to this situation.

On the other hand, you stated that your Cancer man asked you to marry him. You stated you said NO. If you don't want to marry him, then why do you want to stop him from seeing other women who could potentially be the right woman for him? It's like you don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him either.

He will treat you this way as long as YOU let him. He is aware YOU want him but you are not being truthful with yourself so he is playing you for what it's worth. You sort of playing a standbye role, so if things do go well with other women in his life, he is aware that you are sitting there waiting for him on his terms and at his beck and call. He can say sweet little I love you words to you and then you take him back without making him put in any effort to get you back. You are making it too easy for him that is why he is being distant and cold towards you because he is probably aware that he can say a few sweet words and he can have you back. You are being way to patient and understanding with his behavior without giving him the challenge. If he wants to be here OK, if not then I will do my best for myself and I will find someone else to love me.

Your Cancer man is aware of the fact that he can have you. If you put up with it for 11 years what makes him think that you won't put up with it for 11 more?

and then dumb the woman once they get a refund...I meant dump the woman.