checking out mentally before physically

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by ChrisNews on Thursday, January 2, 2014 and has 11 replies.

Profile picture of ChrisNews
@ChrisNews
13 Years

Does anyone else check out of a relationship inwardly, closing off the heart, preparing for the breakup before the actual breakup happens or is this just me?

I've lost all trust in the man I've been dating and think he is lying about something.

I can end it now but gosh darn it, there is a part of me that needs answers to open questions, and I am waiting for that.
It bugs me.

I am closing down inwardly. I sense it. No more texts for no reason, no more desire to call him out the blue. I sense it - and I get that he does too.
Maybe he will tire before me and end things before I do.

Just wondering if anyone else checks out inwardly before actually ending things.

Profile picture of ChrisNews
@ChrisNews
13 Years

@Wynter - I wish I could. But I know myself too well. I would waiver if the opportunity presents and I am sure it will. And thats how the roller coaster ride starts.
I want to make so sure that when I do, I have no regrets and never look back. And that is what I did with the last relationship. Its like the difference between cutting something with a sharp knife or a dull one.
I've done dull before - it took years to end it
I've done sharp before - it took one try and it was done.

I've learned about myself as I've gotten older

@CC -- it is hard to be with a virgo when you like affection and sex and he is content just being in the room. But there is more. And mostly it come down to trust. Trust is lost.

Profile picture of MidwestGirl
@MidwestGirl
13 YearsPisces

How long have your Cancer Virgo relationships lasted? I'm curious because about 3 years ago I set up my Cancer guy friend with my Virgo girl friend. They broke up once in a huge fight but have a son and are on par to be married again...they are still engaged. I figured they would eventually drive each other nuts but they seem really in love. Was trying to gauge how likely it would be for them to stay together.

Profile picture of kissmygrits
@kissmygrits
15 Years5,000+ PostsCancer

Ahhh I do this too. It's a defense mechanism for the real bandaid rip off. I still will hurt though after but I get really busy into projects until it passes.

Good luck and I'm crossing my fingers for you that the end will be painless.

Profile picture of ScorpioFish
@ScorpioFish
15 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

I am pretty much mentally checked out with my tau, and this is only because of her steadfast loyalty to her psychopath DUI crapricorn friend who nearly killed people and then lied to the police about it.

Yes, I am seriously checked out and looking for Ms. Right.

I just cannot stand it when people cling to psychopaths.

Profile picture of Nala13
@Nala13
14 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

How does one check out physically without checking out mentally first?

You just wake up one day after after a lovely dinner and goodnight kisses and start packing your butter mumbling under your breath how you have never been happier?

Profile picture of SeeingStars721
@SeeingStars721
13 YearsCancer

a cancer checking out? haha they dont check out. they just move all the baggage to some forgotten part of the brain where it sits and manifests itself into more insecurity. and even if they do check out mentally its long after the last physical contact.

Profile picture of PiscesLove7
@PiscesLove7
12 Years

I need to be emotionally done before I can physically leave a relationship. Not sure if you'd consider that the same as "mentally." I prefer to mourn the end of the relationship in it, instead of out of it. That way when I break up I'm already past it.