confused about cancer man

This is the first time I have ever been involved with a Cancer man and I've never been so confused.

We met via a dating app and decided to meet up pretty quickly afterwards. My first impressions of him were good, but he was very shy and I wasn't sure if he wanted to see me again. The next time we spoke he made it very clear he did want to meet up soon because he felt 'good vibes'.

To cut a long story short, our daily conversations kept getting more intense as each of us opened up about previous relationships etc. We met three times after that and I never got the impression anything was off. If anything I felt a lot more at ease with him. The problem is that now I haven't heard from him for five days. I initiated contact the previous week but he was never very enthusiastic, almost as if my messages bothered him. With me having a fear of rejection, I decided not to contact him on my own accord.

I'm just not sure what to do in this situation. I have read about Cancer men ignoring women multiple times but I'm still confused as to what I should do. I may not be the most affectionate person, but I'm sure he knows I have feelings for him. Do I contact him anyway and confront him? Or do I just leave him alone?
I haven't known him very long, but it would be upsetting to me if this was the end of the road.

You've made contact. He knows you're interested. Now let him miss you. It's one of their tests. Do not confront him, do not aggravate him. If he misses you, he will be back. In the meantime, go do you.

Well I can’t tell you why at the moment, but it’s pretty obvious he’s retreated into his shell. If you haven’t read up on this trait with them, they do it when they get scared, hurt, stressed, or need time to sort things out. Sometimes it has to do with their partner, other times it has absolutely nothing to do with you. He could even be testing you.

One thing I would say he needs from you right now is patients. Do not yell at him or fuss him, or try to rush him out of his shell. You will only make it worse, and prolong the process. I would simply let him know I care, and I’m around when he’s ready to talk then I would go on about my life. Some Cancers do this to see if you will jump ship, or just move along to the next guy “that fast”, I simply would not give him the satisfaction of giving into his mood.

The other worst case scenario taking his sign out of this, is that he may have unfinished business with another woman and is trying to tie up loose ends, or make sure he wants to start something new. Some men retreat when they have feelings for a woman because they want to make sure they are truly ready to dive into a new relationship, do they really want to give up the playing field and what not. I hate when they do that. It’s very confusing. If this is the case, then you definitely want to give him space. Please don’t do anything silly like trying to make him jealous because when you like a man or have feelings, it can back fire if he chooses to drop you. They play that tit-for-tat game way better than women, they hide their feelings better. So unless you could careless about losing him for good, I wouldn’t suggest you go that route.

Posted by goligold
Hi Lucytango,

Cancer men are extremely shy...just go for it. If you like him and want to see him again, just let him know. He won't be irritated, he will like the attention, they need a lot of reassurance. They also like confident women...

Cancer woman here, and I can tell you I have done the same thing in the past with men, however it is not a "test" it's because for some reason others just fall soo quickly for our charms and get too into us before we even have time to figure out what our feelings are. My best and LTRs were with men who took their time to know me/me know them without the pressures of dating, and I fell for them in a deep way by learning who they were and built a connection. So the problem here is you fell for this guy and now he feel that "pressure" and it stressed him out. What you need to do is completely back off and take a more casual approach like friends but interested. Stay sweet, independent and don't let him know how much you like him until he confirms his feelings. This will take TIME it is quality ofcourse, but most importantly it is about QUANTITY of contact, a little here, a little there but over a long period (months) of time. For heavens sake don't contact him again until he contacts you whatever you do. And if/when he does just be sweet and casual, don't initiate seeing him. Good luck 🙂

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by goligold
Hi Lucytango,

Cancer men are extremely shy...just go for it. If you like him and want to see him again, just let him know. He won't be irritated, he will like the attention, they need a lot of reassurance. They also like confident women...

Cancer woman here, and I can tell you I have done the same thing in the past with men, however it is not a "test" it's because for some reason others just fall soo quickly for our charms and get too into us before we even have time to figure out what our feelings are. My best and LTRs were with men who took their time to know me/me know them without the pressures of dating, and I fell for them in a deep way by learning who they were and built a connection. So the problem here is you fell for this guy and now he feel that "pressure" and it stressed him out. What you need to do is completely back off and take a more casual approach like friends but interested. Stay sweet, independent and don't let him know how much you like him until he confirms his feelings. This will take TIME it is quality ofcourse, but most importantly it is about QUANTITY of contact, a little here, a little there but over a long period (months) of time. For heavens sake don't contact him again until he contacts you whatever you do. And if/when he does just be sweet and casual, don't initiate seeing him. Good luck 🙂

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Thank you for the advice. I will not be contacting him again unless he starts the conversation 🙂 I will keep you posted if he does ever seek contact again!

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by goligold
Hi Lucytango,

Cancer men are extremely shy...just go for it. If you like him and want to see him again, just let him know. He won't be irritated, he will like the attention, they need a lot of reassurance. They also like confident women...

Cancer woman here, and I can tell you I have done the same thing in the past with men, however it is not a "test" it's because for some reason others just fall soo quickly for our charms and get too into us before we even have time to figure out what our feelings are. My best and LTRs were with men who took their time to know me/me know them without the pressures of dating, and I fell for them in a deep way by learning who they were and built a connection. So the problem here is you fell for this guy and now he feel that "pressure" and it stressed him out. What you need to do is completely back off and take a more casual approach like friends but interested. Stay sweet, independent and don't let him know how much you like him until he confirms his feelings. This will take TIME it is quality ofcourse, but most importantly it is about QUANTITY of contact, a little here, a little there but over a long period (months) of time. For heavens sake don't contact him again until he contacts you whatever you do. And if/when he does just be sweet and casual, don't initiate seeing him. Good luck 🙂

click to expand

Wish people were saying this about me and my Scorpio. So far everyones like go go go! Tell him tell him tell him! He needs to know how you feel, blah blah! But i'm only at a pause because, much like Cancers in the beginning Scorpios become gaurded too. I'm a libra i mirror my partner, you gaurd goes up and mine follows.

Posted by lucytango

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by goligold
Hi Lucytango,

Cancer men are extremely shy...just go for it. If you like him and want to see him again, just let him know. He won't be irritated, he will like the attention, they need a lot of reassurance. They also like confident women...

Cancer woman here, and I can tell you I have done the same thing in the past with men, however it is not a "test" it's because for some reason others just fall soo quickly for our charms and get too into us before we even have time to figure out what our feelings are. My best and LTRs were with men who took their time to know me/me know them without the pressures of dating, and I fell for them in a deep way by learning who they were and built a connection. So the problem here is you fell for this guy and now he feel that "pressure" and it stressed him out. What you need to do is completely back off and take a more casual approach like friends but interested. Stay sweet, independent and don't let him know how much you like him until he confirms his feelings. This will take TIME it is quality ofcourse, but most importantly it is about QUANTITY of contact, a little here, a little there but over a long period (months) of time. For heavens sake don't contact him again until he contacts you whatever you do. And if/when he does just be sweet and casual, don't initiate seeing him. Good luck 🙂

Thank you for the advice. I will not be contacting him again unless he starts the conversation 🙂 I will keep you posted if he does ever seek contact again!

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You are welcome! Yes, def tell me if he contacts you!

So here's a quick update for anyone who is interested. I may or may not have texted him last week while I was on a night out with my friends (they influenced me). I asked him if he was out, to which he replied he was not. So I asked him to come out. i didn't get a reply to that but the next day he texted me briefly. I didn't reply straight away as I was working and then he accidentaly called me. I ended up replying with a simple hello and told him not to worry about the accidental call. I was waiting for him to ask my how I was doing as he initiated the conversation but nothing as such happened. Then a day later I just asked him. Again, no reply. To be honest, I think this is a waste of my time. At the same time I don't want to let it go. What do you think?

I just want to add that I know these texts are really petty but it's all I have to go on at the moment