Confused by a Cancer man

Well, where to start. I am a Scorpio woman who met a Cancer man over a month ago online. We frequently talked and decided to meet. We hit it off great! Talked and laughed, he went out of his way to make me fell comfortable with him, didn't rush me and it was an amazing experience. He was affectionate and kind. We decided to go away for a weekend together and he continued to be a gentleman, affectionate, considerate, protective even though we just met. He always held my hand when we were together, followed by longs hugs. He never let go of my hand the whole time I was with him. The chemistry was amazing, we were always smiling and laughing when we were together. We live in different cities, an hour apart and have very busy lives that made it easy to understand each other's schedules. We made serious effort to see each other as often as we could. We continued to text each other and then one day he just stopped texting, about a day later he did text me saying how sorry he was and that he was just in his head, but he should have at least texted me. Then a lot of affectionate messages, that he really liked me, how did he get so lucky to have found me etc,..But he did it again and again..just stopped texting me. He has given me reasons and they are his job and he has been hit at work hard with them being shorthanded. I just hate the feeling that maybe he won't text me again. I don't know, he was very clear to me that he was very fond of me before we ever met in person and that meeting and being able to spend time with me makes him so happy. Can Cancer men just stop caring? I have read that they need space, but honestly I don't know if I am just holding onto false hope. It's Wednesday, I haven't heard from him since Monday...I asked him if he was okay and he responded, "Yes, baby. Everything is okay." Then nothing. Advice would be great. Am I just being willfully ignorant?

The world isn't safe with the amount of confused women running around it 🤔

THIS is WHY there is no harm in GETTING TO KNOW someone of INTEREST, slowly. "A little over a month"..... doesn't hold much weight UNLESS there is more ACTION than words. Action has to LINE UP with words.

"Holding hands....very affectionate....going for a weekend together" Idk. Something about this lingers for me.

Posted by misslibrascorpio

Just from experience, Cancer men fall in love either too fast or too late. My cancer ex fell for me even before we met too. It's the best thing to take things slowww. This will help you get to know him and his ways. Has he offered to drive to you to see you soon?

Yes, eight hours after we left each other the first time. He wanted to pick me up to take me with him to Houston, but I had to go in my vehicle, because I had to head back home before he finished up with work. On his way back home he stopped to see me. I have driven to see him too, when he works he only has 9 hours max. before getting called out again. I'd rather go to him because I count that time as time he will lose sleep before going back to work.

Posted by Raakac

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Well, where to start. I am a Scorpio woman who met a Cancer man over a month ago online. We frequently talked and decided to meet. We hit it off great! Talked and laughed, he held my hand, didn't rush me and it was an amazing experience. He was affectionate and kind. We decided to go away for a weekend together and he continued to be a gentleman, affectionate, considerate, protective even though we just met. He didn't let go of my hand the whole time I was with him. the chemistry was amazing. We live in different cities, an hour apart and have very busy lives that made it easy to understand each other's schedules. We made serious effort to see each other as often as we could. We continued to text each other and then one day he just stopped texting, about a day later he did text me saying how sorry he was and that he was just in his head, but he should have at least texted me. Then a lot of affectionate messages, that he really liked me, how did he get so lucky to have found me etc,..But he did it again and again..just stopped texting me. He has given me reasons and they are his job and he has been hit at work hard with them being shorthanded. I just hate the feeling that maybe he won't text me again. I don't know, he was very clear to me that he was very fond of me before we ever met in person and that meeting and being able to spend time with me makes him so happy. Can Cancer men just stop caring? I have read that they need space, but honestly I don't know if I am just holding onto false hope. It's Wednesday, I haven't heard from him since Monday...I asked him if he was okay and he responded, "Yes, baby. Everything is okay." Then nothing. Advice would be great. Am I just being willfully ignorant?

Sounds like by saying he stoped texting me you're also saying i'm not texting him. Also advice for decent relationship, learn to have open conversation with a partner, if you can't talk openly with each other, it ain't going to work doesn't matter how much love, passion or affection you have for each other.

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I haven't messaged not because I haven't wanted to. I think about constantly throughout my day. I just want to give him space if he needs it. Like I have said that he does get in his head and there has been days whether it is work, lack of sleep, or just stuff he is going through. He did tell me that one day he wanted to tell me about some issues he has had in the past. So there was talk about us having an open conversation in the future. I also am the type of person that doesn't like exposing my feelings by saying how I feel, but he told me that he knows how I feel about him because he can feel it when he is with me. Our last messages to each other were great. He wasn't being distant and unresponsive, he was being loving and affectionate. I haven't heard from him since Monday, I have messaged him several times , both Monday and Tuesday. I however did not yesterday, because I don't want to make it difficult for him if he wants to let me go, but doesn't know how to tell me. I do care for him and I think he is a good man.

I do trust him. I also worry that with his job, and that something might have happened to him.

Posted by Arielle83

I’m guessing the issues are women being too smothering and accusatory.

That is a very narrow assumption of me. I don't think I am smothering or accusatory.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by Arielle83

I’m guessing the issues are women being too smothering and accusatory.

That is a very narrow assumption of me. I don't think I am smothering or accusatory.

I was referring to his “issues in the past” with dating.

But since you jumped into defence mode, you’ve probably wondered if you were either of the above, at some point over this past month.

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I know I wasn't either of these things. He always said I was so understanding, supportive, kind, and that it meant a lot to him that I cared for him the way I did. I suppose my defense mode is that even though I was neither of these things, too smothering and accusatory what happened. I always made sure that he knew that I cared about him and he said that he knew that I did, he could feel it. Even though we didn't bring up past relationships, I knew that he had been through something, because he sent me a picture with lyrics and then when I was with him at his house, he played the same song on YouTube with lyrics and hugged and squeezed my really tight and kissed my forehead while we watched it..the first lyrics:

"My last made me feel like I would never try again

But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt

Come closer, give you all my love

If you treat me right, baby, I’ll give you everything"

So maybe you can see why I am now confused.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by Arielle83

I’m guessing the issues are women being too smothering and accusatory.

That is a very narrow assumption of me. I don't think I am smothering or accusatory.

I was referring to his “issues in the past” with dating.

But since you jumped into defence mode, you’ve probably wondered if you were either of the above, at some point over this past month.

I know I wasn't either of these things. He always said I was so understanding, supportive, kind, and that it meant a lot to him that I cared for him the way I did. I suppose my defense mode is that even though I was neither of these things, too smothering and accusatory what happened. I always made sure that he knew that I cared about him and he said that he knew that I did, he could feel it. Even though we didn't bring up past relationships, I knew that he had been through something, because he sent me a picture with lyrics and then when I was with him at his house, he played the same song on YouTube with lyrics and hugged and squeezed my really tight and kissed my forehead while we watched it..the first lyrics:

"My last made me feel like I would never try again

But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt

Come closer, give you all my love

If you treat me right, baby, I’ll give you everything"

So maybe you can see why I am now confused.

Jfc it’s been a month. You’re being love bombed and he’s making you feel responsible for taking away his baggage and he’s flattering you so you’ll wait around.

Why the heck do you go all in with your feelings in the beginning?

Are u trying to be his saviour?

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I am not trying to be anyone's savior. I can understand heartbreak though. I know that it has been only a month. I didn't intend to go "all in with my feeling in the beginning." I posted on this forum for advice. I am the type of person who doesn't mask what she feels, I have never seen the point in that, even though there is a possibly that I may get hurt.

Posted by Arielle83

1) live in different cities, an hour apart, busy lives with work, different schedules

2) talked on internet and then met, romantic weekend away, all under one month or a bit more

3) lots of chemistry, held hand whole time, he really likes me, “how did I get lucky to meet you”, he says “I know how u feel about me because I can feel it when I’m with you”

4) gets into his head, lack of sleep, stuff going through, says he has issues from past relationships, texts with romantic language then stops, told him I care about him “he knows”, sends u lyrics then kisses your forehead and you see this as a message he’s trying to tell you:

“My last made me feel like I would never try again

But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt

Come closer, give you all my love

If you treat me right, baby, I’ll give you everything"

5) haven’t heard from him, stopped texting, I don’t text because he needs space cuz he’s told me he has issues and is busy.

DOES HE CARE?



No he doesn’t.

He’s getting off on sweeping you off your feet and seeing you be vulnerable, and future benefiting him because you “CARE”. Once you started showing he could manipulate you, with hallmark card romance, he put the “poor little boy lost” issues thing at you, so vague that now you’re in your head thinking something bad happened to him and he needs someone to “CARE”.

He’s pulled away to see how you react. You’re texting and backing off because you’re addicted to his hallmark flattery. “I’m so lucky to have met you”. Saying things like “I can tell when I’m with you”, is manipulating you to think he feels an emotional connection with you.

He’s far enough to send u texts to feed your ego and keep you around, but not close enough to be in your life everyday.

You need that text because that makes, what you felt, those few times, as something real and leading into a commitment.

It’s not stable and it’s cloudy with fairytale projections.

How can you care or he genuinely care about each other after a month?

Far enough to fantasize.

The next step when guys disappear, after playing the “vulnerable” hurt man, is for you to use the fact that you “CARE” as a reason for him to keep you around.

Don’t do that because his language is what pulled you into attachment. He will know you will react and he has the power. You might stay around or move on, but it’s been a month and you’re hooked.

I think you care because you seem to need something, even if the guy has baggage you’re willing to look past.

Do you feel slighted he isn’t texting or giving you attention, because you confessed you “CARE”?

He might be busy and after he hooked you in, he can focus on other things in his life, since you’ll stick and you “CARE”.

The first 6 months of any relationship is a lie.

Don’t tell any guy you “CARE” after a damn month.

Anyone holding your hand, up front, is pulling you in, and if you accept and let it happen, they can see what you need.

Don’t hold hands with a stranger.

Thank you, I needed that.

I didn't plan on accusing him of anything, but I will be more guarded from now on.

I have not heard from him, it has been a week. No call, no text, I thought about going by his house to check on him. He wasn't distant towards me before we stopped communicating and we had talked about when we could see each other again and that we both wanted to be soon. So I thought maybe something happened at work or he was in an accident. Foolish thinking? I did call him and it went to voicemail, it was at 1:00 in the morning, left a message, this was yesterday, still nothing.

Side note: I did find out earlier this evening that he was engaged in May of this year. I have a nosy sister who is way too involved with what I tell her. He didn't tell me he had been engaged, but we were just starting to talk more about our lives, which I didn't think either one of us would want to talk about our exes. I did asked him when we first started talking if he had a girlfriend and he told me no. So there is that. He may very likely still be engaged. Maybe I got played. And I played the part of hopeless romantic fool well.

Posted by emeraldgem

Because people are up for a chat at 1:00 in the morning.......smh.

His work schedule has him working odd hours, so when we would talk or text it would be around that time most days. He is on his 14 days straight for work.

Posted by emeraldgem

Thx for the explanation. Because I would say middle of the night calls may not be winning you any points.

Yeah, but it has been over a week with not any communication from him. I have messaged him and no response, that is why I called him. I did think that if I called him and he forwarded my call that would pretty much tell me that he didn't want to continue anything with me. But it went to voicemail, my first thought was that maybe something happened to him. I do not know if I should try to call him during the day when he maybe sleeping.

Also, in the last message I sent him I did let him know that is was okay if he didn't want to see me anymore, but that I would like for him to tell me, so that I wouldn't continue to wonder why I hadn't heard from him. Still, no response.

Posted by Arielle83

He’s def rebounding if he’s love bombing the way he is.

That's what I thought when my sister relayed the information to me. And now the lyrics to that song make sense. I thought maybe I was just someone to make him feel cared for, made him feel happy, which he often said I did, made him happy when he thought about me. Maybe he reconciled with his ex or maybe something has happened to him, his job is no joke and is dangerous. I just don't know.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by Arielle83

He’s def rebounding if he’s love bombing the way he is.

That's what I thought when my sister relayed the information to me. And now the lyrics to that song make sense. I thought maybe I was just someone to make him feel cared for, made him feel happy, which he often said I did, made him happy when he thought about me. Maybe he reconciled with his ex or maybe something has happened to him, his job is no joke and is dangerous. I just don't know.

Even if you stuck by him, you’d always wonder if you were that important.

But sounds like he’s got baggage and not over the other chick.

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I agree, he has told me in not so many words that, his past relationships have not been so understanding when it comes to his job, and that he outgrew things that he just didn't want anymore. I would tease him about having other females when we playing around, and he would always say, "what other girls, babe? There is only you."

I think I should just leave things as there are, without trying to overthink it. It just felt so right being with him, and I have had past relationships, plenty, but never just had something just click with a person.

If he has baggage and not over his past relationship, I think that I need to let him deal with that on his own and give him space. I don't think that when we started talking, meeting, and seeing each other he planned on meeting someone like me. He even said that himself. And with everything I know now about his past engagement everything he said makes sense. That engagement was not that long ago and they had been together for more than a few years my sister said. That type of history takes time to get over, no matter who ended it or if it ended at all.

I do not want to be someone's rebound and I don't want that baggage in any relationship I have.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by Arielle83

He’s def rebounding if he’s love bombing the way he is.

That's what I thought when my sister relayed the information to me. And now the lyrics to that song make sense. I thought maybe I was just someone to make him feel cared for, made him feel happy, which he often said I did, made him happy when he thought about me. Maybe he reconciled with his ex or maybe something has happened to him, his job is no joke and is dangerous. I just don't know.

Even if you stuck by him, you’d always wonder if you were that important.

But sounds like he’s got baggage and not over the other chick.

I agree, he has told me in not so many words that, his past relationships have not been so understanding when it comes to his job, and that he outgrew things that he just didn't want anymore. I would tease him about having other females when we playing around, and he would always say, "what other girls, babe? There is only you."

I think I should just leave things as there are, without trying to overthink it. It just felt so right being with him, and I have had past relationships, plenty, but never just had something just click with a person.

It sounds like the relationship would all be about him anyways. No matter how much he makes his exes sound like they didn’t care enough.

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Feels that way, since I haven't heard from him.

Just to keep you posted. He is a f***boy, love them and leave them. Boy, was I totally fooled. I can't tell a real from a fake anymore. He didn't show any signs of distancing himself from me when we talked or were together. I believed him or I wanted to believe him to be the real thing.

How I found out he is A-Okay.

So, I was on my SC and was adding friends from my contacts and guess whose name pops up, his. I didn't add him, but I checked to see if it was also his IG username and Bingo! I forgot to tell you that I am a researcher by profession, so I can't really help it when I start down a path of finding out what is. He posted a picture that he sent me three weeks ago via message, four days ago on his IG. So yeah, I guess this is a lesson learned. He is totally fine and just ghosting me. I am a fool. No longer confused, just played.

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Just to keep you posted. He is a fuckboy, love them and leave them. Boy, was I totally fooled. I can't tell a real from a fake anymore. He didn't show any signs of distancing himself from me when we talked or were together. I believed him or I wanted to believe him to be the real thing.

How I found out he is A-Okay.

So, I was on my SC and was adding friends from my contacts and guess whose name pops up, his. I didn't add him, but I checked to see if it was also his IG username and Bingo! I forgot to tell you that I am a researcher by profession, so I can't really help it when I start down a path of finding out what is. He posted a picture that he sent me three weeks ago via message, four days ago on his IG. So yeah, I guess this is a lesson learned. He is totally fine and just ghosting me. I am a fool. No longer confused, just played.

Sorry to hear. You seem smart tho. Hope you will move on and not let him play you again.

It's been 14 days since I last messaged him and I sent him a text a short while ago. Why did I do that? I miss him. I haven't heard from him since November 18th.

Sometimes when I am so busy and stressed out because of the workload, to me, I tend to put off social life and will get back when I finished my tasks. I will never forget the person I like, tho I may be busy but I am constantly thinking about the person. maybe you can talk to him, letting him know your concerns?

Posted by jimie

Sometimes when I am so busy and stressed out because of the workload, to me, I tend to put off social life and will get back when I finished my tasks. I will never forget the person I like, tho I may be busy but I am constantly thinking about the person. maybe you can talk to him, letting him know your concerns?

I have messaged him and called him with no response. There has been no response in a text message and when I called him it went to voicemail. So there it is I suppose. It hurt of course, but the sting is less and less each day. I am a sincere and genuine person and I don't believe in masking my true feelings for someone I like. I think constantly keeping a guard up is pointless, you have to let someone in at some point. Isn't that what life is about? I don't know why he distanced himself from me, I can honestly say that I did not see that coming, when we had talked about future plans for the following weekend. If he is going through something, then he should focus on that. I wish he the best, truly.

Posted by confusedscorpiowoman

Posted by jimie

Sometimes when I am so busy and stressed out because of the workload, to me, I tend to put off social life and will get back when I finished my tasks. I will never forget the person I like, tho I may be busy but I am constantly thinking about the person. maybe you can talk to him, letting him know your concerns?

I have messaged him and called him with no response. There has been no response in a text message and when I called him it went to voicemail. So there it is I suppose. It hurt of course, but the sting is less and less each day. I am a sincere and genuine person and I don't believe in masking my true feelings for someone I like. I think constantly keeping a guard up is pointless, you have to let someone in at some point. Isn't that what life is about? I don't know why he distanced himself from me, I can honestly say that I did not see that coming, when we had talked about future plans for the following weekend. If he is going through something, then he should focus on that. I wish he the best, truly.

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Well sometimes when I ignore a msg is when I have no idea what I really want and I can ignore as long as I can till I am ready to give an answer or to reply.

So there may be 2 possibilities:

1) he likes you but have no idea how to handle the situation

2) he don’t have feelings for you and wanna avoid you. Therefore, he’s ignoring you to prevent you from all the incoming texts and calls.

To me, if the person I like stopped contacting me, I will be curious about him. But if he doesn’t, then maybe you shouldn’t wait for him.

First and foremost, thank all of you for your responses, even the harsh ones have helped me. I am no longer waiting for a response. I have decided to move on and continue my life with always the hope that the one that is meant for me is out there. Wish me luck, send all your positive vibes and energy. Always hopeful and optimistic.

Well,he might be actually busy...give him sometime,cancer men tend to hide in their shells for a while,don't worry yourself

Not you too, Scorpio.

Lock all crab dudes away. They are criminals in matters of the heart.

How do you all fall? I cringe and walk away whenever these creatures approach me. My soul gets that instant "this person isn't right" feeling.

Posted by Onigen

Not you too, Scorpio.

Lock all crab dudes away. They are criminals in matters of the heart.

How do you all fall? I cringe and walk away whenever these creatures approach me. My soul gets that instant "this person isn't right" feeling.

It was my first encounter with a cancer man. I have let it go. I am currently dating a Pisces man. He is very sweet and things are going very well.