Future together or..?

I know guys generally say what they mean, but since I'm dealing with a Cancer and they tend to be indirect, I thought I'd give this a shot and ask. First, quick background info:


Known this guy for a little under 2 years, started liking him a little over a year ago. Told him how I felt a few months ago and we've been in contact ever since. Keeping in mind this is a long distance thing. We never had a "relationship" per se, but we got pretty close and he's told me stuff that he hasn't even told him Mom, or so he says. And yeah for a Cancer, that's a big deal no? =P Anyway, recently I found out the distance was an issue, and that he wasn't sure if he liked me as more than a friend. I told him I'd come see him asap so we could see where it could go from here, and was just waiting to hear from him when would be a good time, and he disappears for 3 weeks. EXACTLY 3 weeks. I swear this guy COUNTS the days. Cause before I told him how I felt, we'd go without talking, and I noticed a pattern. It was bang on every 2 weeks most of the time, he did alot of the initiating. Of course I was hurt/confused, but knowing he's a Cancer, I figured I'd let him be and he'd come around. Which he did, and brings me to present.


He sent me a message online saying it was a dick move ignoring me the way he did and he was sorry. He said that everything just happened so fast, and he hasn't had a real relationship in awhile, and isn't sure if he's ready for one yet. Told me that he needed to tell me that, and would understand if I didn't wanted to talk to him again. I reply and tell him I figured something was up and that I understood because of the circumstances (distance, and he's dealing with some valid personal stuff I'm not gonna get into) I also said maybe we could try again in the future if he wanted, but that I was okay being just friends (which I am, honestly) and that I like talking with him. He replied and said he was glad we had an understanding and that he "felt just awful not saying anything to me." I also told him I appreciate his honesty and it was alright, he was forgiven lol. So all is well. Now for my question..


Should I have any kind of hope that me and this guy have a future together as a couple.. or should I just permanantely friendzone him? I like and respect him as a friend so I can deal, but emotionally he still has somewhat of a tug on me. If this was any other sign then a Cancer I would close up shop. What do you guys think? I'm a Taurus btw.

Just wanted to add that before the "disappearence" I asked him if he wanted to see me and he said Yes. I asked if he was sure and he said "I would tell you if I didn't." So I thought that was my green light. Then he does the poof thing. Now he's doesn't think he's ready for a relationship. I don't wanna believe he BS'd me, maybe a change of heart? And apparentely wants to keep in contact, no? Man I'm gonna analyze the shit outta this. But what am I saying, I already am, lol.

Unfortunately, that does seem to be the only good and logical option at this point. And yes I will remain his friend, I'm the one that brought up just being friends in the first place. If he doesn't want/isn't sure if he wants to be in a relationship then I will make sure he knows we're just friends, just so there's no miscommunication between us. We have amazing chemistry and regardless of how I feel, he's got a friend in me for sure. I've never been the type to have a relationship or possible relationship go to mush and then keep in contact, I just forget they exist. But with him, I can't really describe it. He's just awesome. Also I definitely agree with the "we'll see" mentality, I am the same way, and I am very patient, which I know he appreciates. I've never put pressure on him at all, atleast I've always been careful not to, it's why I'm a little taken aback by all this. I figured we would just take it step by step but apparentely he's just not ready at all, if he's being honest with me. I'll just have to take what he is saying at face value and carry on as normal. He is an airy crab (Moon in Aquarius, Venus in Gemini) and is just perfect for all this Fire I have in me, so we will see what the future holds I suppose...

I'm still kinda lost, did you say that you had feeling's to him??

Friend zone. He wants you there for the emotional support but then disappears when you speak of seeing him in person.

The-Dream: Yes, I told him that I liked him alot but I also liked him as a friend, which is the truth. I had admired him for awhile but never said anything for fear it would wreck any kind of friendship that we had. So far so good until 3 weeks ago. This is new to me - demoting a person I have feelings for to friend status, it's extremely hard for me. But with him, it's as bad but it still hurts alot, I won't lie.

domanb: I suspected that since he has confided in me things he hasn't told anyone else, or so he says. I don't think he's using me, I know he genuinely likes me, maybe as just a friend now. But I don't mind being there for any kind of venting he may want to do. He actually doesn't do it alot, we mostly talk about completely random stuff. Just recently he's been feeling out of whack though, or atleast talking about it. However, this isn't the first we've discussed me coming to see him. He asked me himself 3 months ago if I was gonna come see him, and I said yes. Unfortunately I was not able to go see him due to transportation issues. I brought it up again last month and he welcomed the idea again. This is the only time he's shyed away, even though he confirmed he wanted to see me yet again, so I was kinda confused. Maybe now that I was *actually* going to see him, he thought "oh shi- she's really coming this time." Or just doesn't feel the same that he did a few months back. I have no idea.

It's not as bad* 😛

He panicked and he's trying to keep things in a hiolding pattern. He will keep things that way until you make a move - if you two are just friends then why not suggest meeting as just friends? He will never decide to move forward until he does meet you in person. He will always be scared of what might happen when you actually meet. At least if you visit as a friend that takes pressure off and gives him the opportunity to decide how he feels about you in person. Crabs are afraid of the unknown - things may be shitty for them now, but at least it's shitty they expect - the unknwon could be a good change for them, but it's still UNKNOWN. And that scares the hell out of them.

xangelfishx: I believe you are absolutely right, because it just didn't make sense, seeing on how he and I have both brought it up. (seeing him that is) He had asked me about a month ago if we were to see eachother, what would happen after. And I told him if we both wanted to take it further, then we would. (Now thinking about it, he could of thought well - What happens if I want more and she decides she doesn't? Or vice versa) I thought with that it would eliminate all pressure. Because yes, I do like him but who knows how we both will feel when we meet in person, and we won't know until we actually do. That's why I'm like grr =/ But I will ask if he'd like to meet as just friends, though I will probably not bring it up right away. I don't want him to think it's a ploy to get him in a relationship with me, I just wanna see him is all. Another thing is, he may be scared that if things don't work out with us.. our friendship will be trashed. That's how I felt before I told him I liked him, so could be a possibility.

whats your sign?