is it really worth it?

I mean seriously. I haven't heard from this guy in 2 weeks. Any SANE man who was interested in a woman would keep the contact going. And honestly, this "dance" is really annoying. You guys talk about dating your men for years and you're still playing the dance? When will it be over? Is there some magic pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?? You say cancer men are so great.. is that after you win them over? Because honestly, this stupid dance thing and waiting around just fucking sucks.

maybe he isn't for you. you should think hard about it all, because when things are right again, this issue will crop up once more and you'll have the same feelings about it you're having now. and maybe you're not walking away from him because nothing ever feels definite or concrete enough to make that final decision. it's nice to float; better to fly.

it's one of two things. either you're being insecure and it's a perfectly natural part of a growing relationship to have gaps in contact. where both people have a time out and the feelings for each other don't change. or...the reason it frustrates you is because something seems 'off' about everything, and the silences lend a voice to instincts which may be on point. only you really know this

The thing is I was planning on moving to his town in Canada just for the summer because I can earn more money there and I'm making NOTHING where I live (like, under minimum wage, max 20 hours a week, it's awful!) I just graduated with 2 bachelors degrees and it's just so depressing where I live.. no jobs, the economy sucks, etc. I was planning on working in Canada until I saved up enough money to move to LA. I really love all his friends and family and stuff, so I wouldn't be completely ALONE there if I did live there, but now I'm wondering if this whole thing is a big mistake. I already told my boss I was leaving and honestly I cannot last another 2 weeks making $ 6 an hour after having just graduated from my university. My boss didn't even go to college.. fuck that. When I do temporarily move to Canada I WON'T be living with him, I'm not gonna do that. His friend told me he's been apartment hunting like mad (he's living with his mom right now since his brother got them both kicked out of his last apartment) and the friend says she thinks it's because I'm moving there. But don't you think that since I'm supposedly MOVING TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY in 2-3 weeks he'd be in contact with me? Jesus, I don't know what to do. Ugh.

piranhaparadiise I totally get what you mean. I'm an Aries rising and TOTALLY not the type of girl to just sit around and wait for a man to be interested in me. If he shows no interest.. I know enough that "he's just not that into me" type thing. I took relationship and communications classes in college, also the psychology of human sexuality and the history of human sexuality.. I'm pretty educated on the male psyche. The only thing about this cancer guy is that he is just DIFFERENT than alllllll the other guys I've met, including another cancer I was kind of seeing until I met him. I agree with wineaux in the fact that... everyone is different, no matter what your astrological sign there are similarities but everyone still has free will. It's weird because that other cancer was SUPER clingy, but-he was also EXTREMELY social, outgoing, a total lady's man, but still a real gentleman at the same time. He cheated on his gf with me, then broke up with her the next day and got all clingy with me so the aries/leo in me got totally turned off. The cancer I'm into now is an identical twin and he and his brother could not be more different. His twin is gay and very outgoing, loud, crazy, social, argumentative..etc. He is quiet, sweet, conservative, total gentleman... extreeeeemmmmmely shy. They had some family troubles so maybe there's something in that, I don't know. But all his friends tell me he sometimes just goes off the radar and it's normal not to see or here from him for days or weeks..so that's why I'm hesitant about the whole "he's not that into you" thing with him. Maybe he's an exception. I'm also living 3 hours away currently, so it's not like he can just stop by my house to hang out either. Maybe it will be different when/if I live there this summer, I don't know. I need a fucking Leo man.

thanks skylark.. and i hope things work out for you with or without this guy. and just remember- i learned this in my classes.. the person that invests the most in the relationship always has the lower hand. so, give a green light, then back off. let the man do the chasing, mirror his communication-and you're golden. that's what i've been doing. the second i texted him and he stopped responding, so did I. he hasn't responded in almost 2 weeks now but I REFUSE to make the next step in communication, or I'll lose all my power. at this point he could just as well be wondering why i haven't texted him either, which gives me an upper hand too...piranhaparadiise, the thing is he DOESN'T text. anyone.. he doesn't even have a phone contract and has said he hardly ever uses his phone. never on facebook either. so it's not like it's normal for him to text people frequently either.. which makes it hard to figure out if he's interested or not! ugh!

Have you thought about contacting him? It's the 21st century, after all.

I've just been burned in the past from showing too much interest.. I don't want to blow this one either. So I'm sticking to my guns and not texting him. It's highly possible he doesn't even have a phone right now. Not making excuses for him, trust me that sounds like the oldest excuse in the book...I am very aware he's not into technology and doesn't keep his phone minutes up. Yeah, if he was "interested" in me he might. But I live 3 hrs away right now. I don't think being this far away works... we'll see what happens this summer when I live near him.

piranha-this guy that asked you to leave him alone for 5 weeks.. are you with him now? fill me in please, i didn't hear about this and I'd like to know :-)

piranha, i'm curious to know what happened with this guy??

I dont care who is right in this argument.. But piranha- please the suspense is killing me.. What happened with this guy—

Posted by piranhaparadiise
I still maintain a cancer or pisces will not ignore when they like you...and won't leave it for weeks without contact...and they will know pretty damn fast that they want you...the only time they won't is if your morals /values don't mesh with theirs

I'm a Pisces and would have to disagree a bit here... Never was I interested in any of the guys I ended up falling for much later on. I never ever even imagined dating them in the beinning! The one I was interested in in the beginning, I quickly lost interest in.

roxy, this is my sag rising talking but either you want him, or you don't. if you want him go get him, if not, then don't bother making excuses with "i don't want to get hurt" or "he doesn't like to use his phone". comparing yourself and your cancer guy to another lady and her cancer guy isn't going to help when you plan on doing nothing about it.

there's a big difference between acting like a stalker and sending one text or a facebook message saying "haven't heard from you in a while, everything ok?"

if you've already done something like this and he still hasn't replied then yes, he isn't interested, but as i don't know your whole story I am assuming you just had a date/just met/whatever and are sitting back and waiting for him to do the footwork because, well, you look like the princess type.

It's sounds like you just want to win.

Power? Whoever invests more has the lower hand? That isn't even true at all.

He took the time to make you like him (effort) now he is just gone.


Whoever invests the most but underneath that doesn't feel anything but empty has the power.

Highfructosecornsyrup I met him on a cruise in late feb and he lives 3 hours away. I've visited him twice there and met all his friends and stuff amd we acted like a couple. If youre judging me by my pic.. No I'm not the princess type I just went to the Emmys and chose that pic as my profile. I'm not a princess. I like camping, being outdoors.. Hate shopping, and all that other princessy stuffy. I feel uncomfortable when guys pay for me, I feel bad for them spend money on me and in no way expect them to do so. But I do know that men like to be men and a woman chasing them isn't exactly manly.

I want to win HIM not some game. I just want to win him over, not turned him into a pussywipped sap who obsesses over me.. I just don't want to look like I like him too much because that tends to scare people away. Anytime a guy showed too much interest in me it turned me off

So you are turned on because he is ignoring you?

I just don't understand how a person can just wait. You need to learn how to turn away and never look back.

Posted by roxyfalcon2006
piranha-this guy that asked you to leave him alone for 5 weeks.. are you with him now? fill me in please, i didn't hear about this and I'd like to know :-)

I wanna know too!

I'm gonna give it a few more days, then I'll contact him and see what's up. I actually am pretty busy this week.. so it will be easier to keep it off my mind :-/

You should buy him something really special and have it delivered with a note stating that you are all about him, and whatever he wants .. and then after a couple days, send him a strip-o-gram so he knows that while you are apart from him and loyally awaiting his decision of whether he wants you or not, so you can feel accepted .. he'll know that you're cool with his physical needs.


because ... the last thing you want to do is make him think that you are capable

I hope you dont mind me sharing alittle of my story...I met this Cancer guy last week in group activity...since he was my leader, we happened to chat alittle bit..he told me some personal stuff about his life, though we had only met that day,and he invited me to dinner the same night after we finished with the group...He madly loves my name and said he always wanted to name his daughter the same name-if he had one-....so after dinner he dropped me home and before getting out of the car asked me if I have a boyfriend..and then said so we go out to dinner tomorrow night if you are free...but never turn down a dinner from me!
next day, he texted me and asked for my plans but he also mentioned that he'll be home late and might stay home...
he confused me, seemingly he was interested to see me late that night, and I thought he wants to stay home..so I told him that I have plans and we didnt meet...
It obviously shut him off...later I invited him to a dance night,and after two days he replied and said he has to work late and cant make it,though would love to...
I then replied that would have been happy to see him thete,but anyway,if he is around this weekend we can go to the group activity again...and no reply...

I dont know ...is he upset because I turned him down once? is he gone into his shell forever...will he come out of the shell ever?!!!! lol..this just looks so childish to me...

EVERYBODY LISTEN TO piranhaparadiise. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO CANCER MEN.

We'll she has learned her lesson. Trust me.

Shinny_girl.. I've had that happen to me with other guys before... not sure if they're cancer or not but it seems a common thing to happen.. I'd say give him some space for a bit and then maybe in a week or 2 give him another green light?

A little update on my situation.. still haven't heard from him, although 2 of his close friends contacted me and said he's excited I'm moving to his town and he's been really busy with his job lately. She said she overheard him arguing about our upcoming camping trip with another friend and she heard him say "No no no, Roxy is sleeping with me" apparently discussing tent sleeping arrangements..so she said "well well well looks like someone has a thing for someone" and he said "It's kind of hard not to". So he's interested.. and yet still hasn't contacted me in any way except "liking" a picture I posted on facebook. What the hell?

well...it's been one day shy of 3 weeks and I FINALLY heard from him today. his twin posted on my wall asking if I was really moving to their town and I said yes, for work. My Cancer "liked" it, commented "Hell ya!" and Facebook IMed me but of COURSE I missed the IM.. whatever. so I guess it's good he contacted me but it's kind of like too little, to late now. And yet, I'm sure when I see him in 9 days I'll just be head-over-heels again. *sigh*

I was just debating this with another cancer, he said he's slow in dating, but for me, I am quite fast........I am dating this Leo girl for 3 weeks and I just asked her to be my gf! And she said yes! We saw each other quite often too.......3-4 times a week........but for sure, you have to let him know that you are sincere and can provide security for him!

We cancer don't even think about dating someone if he/she appears to be flirtatious !

Lol noosiekins funny enough his twin is gay and completely the opposite of him. They're identical physically but mentally exactly opposite. His twin is very outgoing and social and kinda a trouble maker. I wish he was the straight one! We get along so well hhah

Posted by roxyfalcon2006
I wish he was the straight one! We get along so well hhah

I know you're joking... but you're also kinda not.

Posted by bnicole84
It is funny because I think about the things that have recently happend between me and this cancer guy and one thing he looked at my phone at like 2am to see wat time it was and there was a text from a male friend.. and he is just a friend i know people are going to say why is he texting you at 2am lol i have no clue he just said whats up.

I can only speak for my circle of Cancer friends but we do not take our intuition lightly. "Chance" things happen all the time that could be considered coincidence but I rarely see them as that. What are the chances that he decided to check your phone at 2am to find a text from another guy? If he had any doubts in his mind about your relationship, this probably just confirmed them.

There are many possible explanations to why this guy was texting you and those are your business. But if you decide to play it off with this cancer and not address issues of trust and boundaries, you will be waiting for a long time. The ball is in your court.

Posted by bnicole84
Hmmm I need to figure out a way to bring this up. We havnt been talking As much the past couple weeks I'm hoping because of him graduating. I have been thinking about it. He doest realize is when I'm into something I really only see them. Like since I started feeling like I like him Guys try to talk to me all the time n I blow everyone off because they aren't him I'm very loyal and I wouldn't want to mess anything up even tho we weren't techniquely official or anything. I tend to hyperfocus on the object of my affection.

let him know that 🙂