Is It Easier To Run?

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Scubafish on Thursday, April 28, 2011 and has 14 replies.

Hey Crab Ladies,

I was in the gym tonight pushing the weights really hard, and was listening to Linkin Park.

They have a song called "Easier To Run," which gave me what alcoholics often refer to as a moment of clarity.

Well, it made me think of my ex-girlfriend of 4 years who is a Cancer. Yeah, it's over and all...

Long story short, she ran away from everything and got married rapidly on the rebound rather than end things on amicable terms for our relationship.

Do Cancers sometimes feel inclined to run away from people who really love them, or is that a less common trait than it seems?

" data-url="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Ou_aTbmz7zY " target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">http://www.youtube.com/embed/Ou_aTbmz7zY Here are the lyrics for those who cannot access Youtube: It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone Something has been taken From deep inside of me A secret I've kept locked away No one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show They never go away Like moving pictures in my head For years and years they??ve played If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I would Sometimes I remember The darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have Sometimes I think of letting go And never looking back And never moving forward so There would never bee a past Just washing it aside All of the helplessness inside Pretending I don't feel misplaced Is so much simpler than change It's easier to run replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone

@Scubafish

15 Years500+ Posts

Posted by grinch33344
For me, not usually, no. Especially if I really like the person. There was one time that I did that though. It's because I wasn't sure, or rather, I knew that it's not going to work out with him (family issues). So yes despite loving him so much I decided to leave him and ended up in a relationship with another guy as a rebound.

Hi Grinch, thanks for your answer and your honesty.

I am really sorry to hear this, and want to know more?

Were you happy with the rebound, and how long did you guys last?

You really did love your former boyfriend, but couldn't be with him because your family rejected him?

That is soooooooooo sad!!! 😢

(HUGS)

@Scubafish

15 Years500+ Posts

Posted by treefrogger
no. i have never run away from someone i love. why would you run away from the person you love?

people did run away from me though.

Hi Sweetheart, I am glad to hear that you are not like that.

I find it so difficult to understand how you and she can come from the same sign, when you two are so radically different on so many levels.

While I have come to accept the fact that the relationship is indeed over, I still feel a little strange when I try to understand her intent to run away, jump into a rebound marriage with a total psychopath and expect everything to be okay?

😢

@MissBizarre

16 Years

I think it would all depend on the situation I was running away from. If I knew it wasn't going to ever work out, rather than face being hurt AND alone I think it could have been quite possible (when I was a younger crab) to jump into something else quickly.

@Scubafish

15 Years500+ Posts

Posted by MissBizarre
I think it would all depend on the situation I was running away from. If I knew it wasn't going to ever work out, rather than face being hurt AND alone I think it could have been quite possible (when I was a younger crab) to jump into something else quickly.

Do you think you would have been happy making a rash decision like that?

Also, do you feel different now that you are more mature and refined about life?

@Scubafish

15 Years500+ Posts

Posted by grinch33344

Posted by Scubafish

Posted by grinch33344
For me, not usually, no. Especially if I really like the person. There was one time that I did that though. It's because I wasn't sure, or rather, I knew that it's not going to work out with him (family issues). So yes despite loving him so much I decided to leave him and ended up in a relationship with another guy as a rebound.

Hi Grinch, thanks for your answer and your honesty.

I am really sorry to hear this, and want to know more?

Were you happy with the rebound, and how long did you guys last?

You really did love your former boyfriend, but couldn't be with him because your family rejected him?

That is soooooooooo sad!!! 😢

(HUGS)

click to expand

Thank you for the sympathy Scubafish, you're such a sweetheart. 🙂 I'm over it now though.

Long story short, I got into a relationship with this guy and yes my family didn't approve him. Our relationship was such a mess, I think part of it was my fault of getting into the relationship knowing that it wouldn't work out. It was a total emotional disaster, a lot of push me pull me game by both of us (me because I knew I shouldn't be with him, and him because he wanted to move on but couldn't). So anyway, after two years worth of emotional torrent, we were finally able to go our separate ways. There was this second guy who seemed to like me, and sadly the only way I was able to move on from my ex was was to project my desperation and love to this other guy instead of to my ex (very pathetic, I know). I hope it makes sense to you?

Unfortunately it didn't work out either with the second guy. As I grew closer to him, I noticed that we had different values and point of view in life. Such differences would not make a difference then, but it would be an issue in the long term. And he too, did not think that we should get together yet, because both of us were still immature and things were uncertain. I had no patience to wait around and decided to leave the relationship. It lasted for 6 months I think, but it was beautiful while it lasted. Sometimes I still wonder what would happen if I decided to wait for him until he thought we were both mature enough to start dating.

Both guys are Pisces btw, the second o

@Scubafish

15 Years500+ Posts

Thank you for the sympathy Scubafish, you're such a sweetheart. 🙂 I'm over it now though.

Long story short, I got into a relationship with this guy and yes my family didn't approve him. Our relationship was such a mess, I think part of it was my fault of getting into the relationship knowing that it wouldn't work out. It was a total emotional disaster, a lot of push me pull me game by both of us (me because I knew I shouldn't be with him, and him because he wanted to move on but couldn't). So anyway, after two years worth of emotional torrent, we were finally able to go our separate ways. There was this second guy who seemed to like me, and sadly the only way I was able to move on from my ex was was to project my desperation and love to this other guy instead of to my ex (very pathetic, I know). I hope it makes sense to you?

Unfortunately it didn't work out either with the second guy. As I grew closer to him, I noticed that we had different values and point of view in life. Such differences would not make a difference then, but it would be an issue in the long term. And he too, did not think that we should get together yet, because both of us were still immature and things were uncertain. I had no patience to wait around and decided to leave the relationship. It lasted for 6 months I think, but it was beautiful while it lasted. Sometimes I still wonder what would happen if I decided to wait for him until he thought we were both mature enough to start dating.

Both guys are Pisces btw, the second one being more mature and grounded than the first.

Wow, that is really terrible and I am sorry you had to go through that! It must have been a really sad time in your life to deal with the sorrow that comes with being disallowed to be with the one you love.

😢

Whatever happened to the fishy you couldn't be with? And the rebound fishy? Where did he go?

I hear you about being a grounded fishy, as I feel more refined with the fullness of time.

My ex got married not even 9 months after our relationship came to an end, and the guy she married is this creepy capricorn. His behavior startled her mother, and she tried to call off the wedding because of his jerk behavior. He was shouting at her and stuff like that if she talked about her emotional feelings toward me. He also isolated her 1200 miles away from everyone she knows. Think she is going to stay in that crazy rebound situation?

@Scubafish

15 Years500+ Posts

Posted by grinch33344

Posted by Scubafish

Hm in my personal opinion that depends on her, if she ended up liking the rebound guy just like I did with mine, it will be pretty darn hard for her to leave the relationship. Perhaps one day she could be fed up and left. It will take a while though I think... I have this Cancer friend who was hung up by the guy she likes (Cap) for 7 years before she decided to take some action.

click to expand

yeah, you are right!

And thank you for the input, as it is much appreciated for another perspective on things.

Sorry about the way it all turned out for you, but how on earth can he be happy with a gemini over a cancer girl?

To your friend...

7 years is such a long time to waste with a jerk! Was the capricorn mean and hurtful with your friend? My ex was angrily shouted at for mentioning her feelings. How is that for companionship?

Did she smack him around a little, or just get out of there altogether?

@MissBizarre

16 Years

Scubafish, I can recall being younger and contemplating rushing into marriage or relationships very quickly after a relationship ended with someone. I always did the ending and I think I was lucky to work out that I was the one with commitment issues and couldn't just keep ending every relationship I had. But the temptation to jump into something straight away was always quite overpowering and tempting.

When I realised it was only so appealing to me because it would've been a way of showing the person I was leaving that it served them right for any of the times they had hurt me during the relationship, and blaming them for everything without having to acknowledge my part in making the relationship fail I was able to go down a better path in life.

In hindsight, I would have regretted each and every single one had I gone that way because I wasn't going into them for the right reasons.

@MissBizarre

16 Years

I mean I still make mistakes but at least I haven't made as many as I could have :-)

@shellshocker

16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by wineaux
running is something you do when you need the space and time to think & feel whether it's love or infatuation. running is something you do when you're scared because your mind is constantly thinking about the object of your affection - and as discussed before by other cancers here - that is one SCARY situation to be in. running is something you do when something is so real that you can taste, touch and feel it and that just seems UNREAL.

nicely put wineaux

this is true for me, but only in the beginning. once I've figured it all out... i'll be back and then I'm pretty much there to stay. (maybe not always in body, but in heart, mind and soul) Even if you have hurt me real, real bad I will still try to leave a relationship amicably. Always... because I don't want to leave hurt feelings.

@shellshocker

16 Years1,000+ Posts

no problem, watery wineaux!

things are very good, thanks! I had to get verbal with the pisces (not easy) express my feelings and prove some loyalty and WOW... some nice changes. Not traditional changes... but better

I also had to let go of some ego-based ideals regarding relationships that have been ingrained in many women, I think. Water folk really do their own thing and often the rules don't apply for them. This is hard because if a man does not do traditional expressions of love, women get real edgy. i.e. the endless posts on why doesn't he call, text, prioritize me, express feelings in a certain way etc. etc on this forum. But if you don't get the statues quo from a man BUT get so many other positive things from him; wonderful things that also DO NOT fit the statues quo, are you going to complain? You have to pick your battles and it really came down to me deciding if I was going to take it or leave it.

So I'll take it 🙂 Nothing better to do anyway...

@CancerianGoddess

18 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

Hell no, i always fight for the one i love! Some people say "If you love it set it free, if it comes back it was always yours" I Say "Lock it in a basement till it falls in love with you" lol.. "Thats a JOKE!" Seriously, if i love someone i will fight for them, if they WALK AWAY, thats differant, i let them go..