It is hitting me hard today.

I was fine Monday and Tuesday. Today it's hitting me like a freights train. I wish she would do something to make me hate her.

Hi, I am new here 🙂, I am Scorpio and I wish my cancer do something bad for me to hate him.

I work out, play chess, spend time with my dau ghter, hell I've even dis spring cleaning on my house like 5 times in the last few weeks. Nothing seems to get hee off my mind. I even sent her a text a little bit ago saying how sad it is that I wish she would do something to make me hate her so I didn't have to hurt or care about her anymore. 😢

Forgive my typing I'm using my phone and am a bit shook up atm

please step away from the phone!! AGAIN, please step away from the phone. That text would make me run even faster!!! Do not text her anymore....let it breathe!

Posted by cancerboo
please step away from the phone!! AGAIN, please step away from the phone. That text would make me run even faster!!! Do not text her anymore....let it breathe!

Well while you run call me an call be an asshole and to go fuck myself in the process. You would have to understand the situation first.

Sorry for your loss shanti my grandpa was who I looked up to as a child.

Worse, a she's a bull

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Didn't you say she was still married? I think that may have something to do with it. You have helped so many on here including myself...I wish I could help you. Have u guys spoke lately? What has she said is? She's makin the rest of us taurus look bad and we don't like it.

No I haven't spoken with her. However the Manager from my part time job called me this morning and wanted me to come in to discuss why I resigned. I went in and I will say had no idea how strong some of the people there felt about me. One of the ladies started crying when she saw me saying I can't leave I belong there. Well tjw manager and I started talking and sjw made sense. That job is my play money and if I left and came back it would reset everything. So I decided to stay but with extremely limited availability. At least until my bull gets better work.

I never asked for this. She persued me and I saw her for her, and it is beautiful. The last few weeks have been hard on me and for some reason I think she sees that and is mirroring me in a sense. Ya she's married to a dipshit serial cheat. I honestly feel in my heart she's only staying because she doesnt know how to live otherwise nor is financially stable to get out. Do I understand why she is scared? Absolutely, for me when things went south with my ex-wife and I, I had no love for her but, was deeply hurt because of "change" in my life. Having a family that i built was gone and thats what I hurt losing.

I know without a doubt her marriage is ver. To mujch damage has been done. I never asked her to leave him for me. She needs to leave him for herself. She cracked a joke saying who ever said I liked you and smiled. Well I kinda took offense to that and told her which she later stated she was joking. Ever since then she has been distant but again I feel she is mirripring me because I haven't been upbeat in person. I've asked her foe an explaination with nothing in return.

So I ask this if you knew and it was requested to be brutally honest. What would be the reasons to just not ends it I'd you didn't feel the same or is it maybe she does feel strong but iis avoiding it because its the right thing to do for now

Btw I told everyone my excuse for leaving was my other job. Its none of their concern that it was for my bull

No-one needs to know your business anyway. That would be horrible, bulls are very private ppl too. I understand you staying, I only hope you don't work at same time, that to me will only stagnate it. I know I've been in ignore mode from my cancer going on 2wks and its making me nuts! The absence will change the thought process in my opinion. I was hoping u were much this job. Space does wonders even when it seems unbearable. Now she knows she can still see you. I don't get her stay in in this bad marriage unless she just hasn't had enuffmisery yet. This could drag way out. I really think you sho u Mr go somewhere else for work.less is best. She n u take yourself out then you mY be surprised once she doesn't seem evryin

Ok sorry about the last call sentences on my last Post,this kindle types on its own.

The last time her an I spoke was at work last Sunday. She seemed to intentionally avoid eye contact with me. Such as looking at the ground or the other direction if I was near. Ive been doing it too. But for me it's because it hurts to look at her and know her and I can't be. I asked her if she would keep in contact with me after I left because I would like to still see and talk to her and she with here vague answers smiled and said possibly. Before closing I asked if she world le go have coffee and she wouldnt . I asked her if she ever would and said she didn't know. I had to ask this at this point if she wanted to be around me all her response was it's wasn't that an said nothing else. So again no explaination and I wasn't going to pry it from her and just said well I won't ask again and thank you because I know now not to wait any longer. As we were getting ready to close the place she was standing at the doors waiting for the OK to go as if she couldn't get out of there fast enough. I park on the opposite side of the building but got to my car and say there for z few minutes collecting myself. Started to pull out and saw her sitting there in her car still ad well but I still left.
So half of me believes there is no hope but the other half says that this isn't over and for some odd reason feel in the end it is going to all work out in the end.

The part that hurts the most is I've explained to her that even if she feels it would hurt me I need to know and that not knowing hurts me more than being told that she doesn't feel the same. But still says nothing

Ok I'm sorry but her behavior is not typical bull speak. We are are more black and white. I feel she will keep this woe is me crap up until she notices u are no longer interested, but that's where u need to begin. For your sanity. Frankly she's not worth it. She's married also, that is a huge role in this. Happy or not, the truth remains. Do not go for married women! That is a no win situation. You deserve someone who appreciates your love and she just sounds like she likes knowing you are wanting her but yet she's clearly doing nothing about it. Break the tie, do it now. Take yourself out of this. I would also get out of this job, this only adds fuel to the fire. Bulls do think a bout the what ifs but only after we notice you are no longer chasing.

Well she put in her resignation after did. So tomorrow night will probably be the last time I ever see again . This hurts but it is what it is

Im not ready to deal with this today. It's that stupid feeling where you know you're having to say good bye in person for good. I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold myself together tonight.

You will be feeling better in time truecancer. People that made us feel strong for them are given to us for a reason. If its yours, it will come back to you. If not, then there is a big lesson and experience that God wanted you to gain through that person. I am a taurus. I had a 2 year relationship with a cancer man. Not really sure to call it a relationship, we lived in different cities..and we never were a couple. But what I can say is that after sometime I understood I never experienced these strong emotions like I did with him. Love or hate, but never indifferent. Through this relationship I discovered the true depth of myself. The thought of not having a future with him was mydeepest fear. But also getting to know his feeling and how he saw this relationship was not the same as mine became the biggest pain.

Letting go, healing and taking your learning from this is the best thing you can do. And in some time your heart will heal and will open up for something new!

Hey True, I really am sorry about your pain you are going through.

Try to watch a funny movie, or go visit a friend/family member to play Battleship or something.