my cancerian cuddle buddy

i have a cancer guy as my friend with benefits but we rarely have sex. mostly heavy petting and making out.

anyway, so this has been going on for a few months. everything has been nice and easy-going between us but there are a few things i've noticed that i'm not sure sits well with me.

1.) he's completely rude to my best friend. my best friend is male, we've been super tight since we were 18, and he's gay. i already crossed out homophobia since he gets along swimmingly with a mutual friend's gay roomies. my best friend and him have barely exchanged 2 words due to circumstance but the few times they have been in each other's presence, cancer pretends he doesn't exist. what's that about? i'd ask him but i keep forgetting!

2.) cancer and i attend a lot of shows together. he's very subtle about it but i've started to realize that he follows me everywhere i go. he seems to be keeping an eye on me. he won't approach most of the time but he'll sit and watch even if it's across a crowded room. he just confessed the other night that he truly believes every man wants me. wow. possessive much?

3.) he's verbally expressed how much he likes me and i find us engaged in conversation revolving around marriage and family a little too often. there's a lot of,"... if u were my wife..." comments.

4.) he seems OBSESSED with my stomach! it's not even a super hot stomach with ripped abs or anything. he rubs it a lot, caresses it, keeps his hand there when holding me (especially from behind), and lays his head there a lot.

5.) he gets annoyed that he has to use a condom when we do have sex. he won't complain verbally but he huffs and u can see it on his face that he doesn't want to. he'll try to get away with it thinking that if i'm too caught up in the moment i won't notice but i do every time. sneaky bastard!

other than what i've stated everything is peachy! he's rather emotionally stable even though he's been hurt in the past. he's incredibly romantic and affectionate with me. always wants me close. however, he knows the deal. i'm very openly communicative and i am forthright with him. i let him know that i am understanding but i am not psychic. even if it's out of his comfort zone to communicate he's gonna have to if he expects me to know anything. if not, then he has no room for complaint or sorrow. i won't tolerate it.

i also hear about their infamous side-stepping dance. he does do this somewhat but i can't help but wonder if he's strategically sticking this arrangement out to try and win me over in the end. maybe this is his way of being persistent?

What is it you want, an analysis of his behavior?

The arrangement isn't working for him either. Stop pretending to be ignorant, you know what he wants, if you don't want the same thing then be clear and end the arrangement, or whatever odd and twisted thing you two have.

I'll address your points.

1) Maybe he doesn't like him, so what.
2) He likes you, but you know that, he wants more, but you know that too
3) See #2
4) See #2
5) No idea, maybe he feels that the condom is some sort of barrier that stops intimacy, who knows, maybe he just doesn't like it

Regardless, deep down you know what's going on and you know what to do.. If you see this going nowhere and you care about the poor fellow, then put an end to it now, don't string him along or you'll end up hurting him even more.

yeah, u guys are right. however, i am not acting ignorant... i really am!

i would like to address the issue regarding my best friend though. i am disturbed by cancer's rude behavior because he has no real reason to be that way. even then, i can handle cancer not liking him but that doesn't give him the right to be disrespectful. he has a friend i am not too fond of, that i am subjected to at times, but i am still civil. cancer can hate my best friend all he wants but he can't be a dick about it. u just don't do that to my loved ones. i wouldn't tolerate it from my other friends if the tables were turned either.

anyway, there is sort of an update. i found out the other night that the guy is probably in love with me. we were out and, yes, there was some drinking involved. we wound up back at his place and we were playing around and raiding the fridge. he said something about liking me and i said that he didn't like me... he LOVED me! i was just being a dork but he got dead quiet, gave me a hug, then said it was sleepy time.

so, it looks like i do have to cut things off. my suspicions have been confirmed in my opinion. i think he's waiting it out and hoping i change my mind. i think he's not happy with the arrangement but is taking whatever he can get. i gotta do what's right here. i'm just sad cuz i know how sensitive he is and now i have to find a new playmate...