hopelesslyindecisive
@hopelesslyindecisive
21 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 19 · Topics: 2
need help with cancer man...from virgo
How to Tell if a Cancer Man Is Truly Interested
Cancer men often show their interest through consistent communication and caring gestures. If he is friendly, seeks your company, and responds positively over time, he likely has genuine feelings. Pay attention to his actions rather than words alone. Respect his need for space and observe if he initiates contact regularly to gauge his true interest.
Dear hopelesslyindecisive...
This is kind of a long response... I'm going to try to help, and I hope I don't confuse you. 🙂
It took my fiancee, who is also a Cancer, a while to admit how he felt about me. Of course, it also took me a while to admit we were more than friends too lol. When I realized I couldn't sleep at night until his phone call came through, I had to finally admit to myself... and to him... that I had fallen hard... and then I had to hand my heart over... and THEN I had to wait!!! Yes, wait. I had to wait for him to be ready to hand his over. Though he admitted that he loved me at the same time as me, I know he didn't really hand over his heart for a while. He had to be sure I was sincere first, you see.
Going by what I've learned through being with my fiancee and from talking with my friends on this board, I have to say your love interest may just need time and space, and he may just need to be sure you're sincere before he hands over his heart. My guy said one of the things he loved the most about me right off was that I could be independent and do my own thing... and let him do his own thing until he was ready for a full-fledge committment. A Cancer needs to feel the waters and see what's really in there before they jump in. You see, if they get hurt, their hearts don't heal quickly, so they have to be cautious. It's a water sign thing too, I think lol.
If he hasn't stopped talking to you completely, but has just backed a way a bit, I would say he is showing you that he needs to spend some time in his shell, which happens from time to time, as that is the only place a Cancer can truly gather themselves and figure their thoughts and feelings out. Cancers are extremely cautious, quite shy at times, very private about their emotions, and leery of handing over their heart. It may take a while before he can admit what he feels if it is there, but my recommendation to you would be to make yourself available to him (while not falling at his feet, as smothering and clinginess are not good ideas either). Stay positive, stay the same way you were when he first became attracted to you, enjoy spending time with him whenever possible, and give him the time and space he needs alone with his shell, and you might just receive a surprise. Above all, when you're socializing with other people, try not to ignore him. Cancers love attention and praise (though too much is seen as superficial and insincere or smothering, depending on how it is given, so I would give it in moderation). Let him know your focus is still on him, but keep living your life as well. A little mystery never hurt anyone, but just be careful not to play any mind games - he can smell that a mile away. Be honest to him and to yourself, be there for him, and be patient. 🙂
I hope this helps you out some... and I wish you the best of luck. It's hard waiting out the initial warming up period for Cancers, but once you're in, their's is a beautiful world and they'll be happy to share it with you when they're ready, so don't give up. 🙂
To my friends in here, everything I have typed here is from my viewpoint in dealing with my fiancee, so, if I've missed something or didn't quite hit the nail on the head, feel free to yell at me lol *Hugssssssssssss* to all!
Angel
P.S. Hopelessly.... I wouldn't act like I didn't care or tell him to get stuffed... Once you hurt a Cancer, there's no going back. Tread lightly in that area... If you have any hope of a relationship, that definitely wouldn't help your prospective chances. I have my sincere doubt that he is playing games with you, as most Cancers do not care for games. Rather (and this is a guess since I've never met him or seen you 2 together), I think he's sorting through some feelings, and if you give him time & space, but stand by him at the same time, you'll let him know your feelings are sincere, and h
This is kind of a long response... I'm going to try to help, and I hope I don't confuse you. 🙂
It took my fiancee, who is also a Cancer, a while to admit how he felt about me. Of course, it also took me a while to admit we were more than friends too lol. When I realized I couldn't sleep at night until his phone call came through, I had to finally admit to myself... and to him... that I had fallen hard... and then I had to hand my heart over... and THEN I had to wait!!! Yes, wait. I had to wait for him to be ready to hand his over. Though he admitted that he loved me at the same time as me, I know he didn't really hand over his heart for a while. He had to be sure I was sincere first, you see.
Going by what I've learned through being with my fiancee and from talking with my friends on this board, I have to say your love interest may just need time and space, and he may just need to be sure you're sincere before he hands over his heart. My guy said one of the things he loved the most about me right off was that I could be independent and do my own thing... and let him do his own thing until he was ready for a full-fledge committment. A Cancer needs to feel the waters and see what's really in there before they jump in. You see, if they get hurt, their hearts don't heal quickly, so they have to be cautious. It's a water sign thing too, I think lol.
If he hasn't stopped talking to you completely, but has just backed a way a bit, I would say he is showing you that he needs to spend some time in his shell, which happens from time to time, as that is the only place a Cancer can truly gather themselves and figure their thoughts and feelings out. Cancers are extremely cautious, quite shy at times, very private about their emotions, and leery of handing over their heart. It may take a while before he can admit what he feels if it is there, but my recommendation to you would be to make yourself available to him (while not falling at his feet, as smothering and clinginess are not good ideas either). Stay positive, stay the same way you were when he first became attracted to you, enjoy spending time with him whenever possible, and give him the time and space he needs alone with his shell, and you might just receive a surprise. Above all, when you're socializing with other people, try not to ignore him. Cancers love attention and praise (though too much is seen as superficial and insincere or smothering, depending on how it is given, so I would give it in moderation). Let him know your focus is still on him, but keep living your life as well. A little mystery never hurt anyone, but just be careful not to play any mind games - he can smell that a mile away. Be honest to him and to yourself, be there for him, and be patient. 🙂
I hope this helps you out some... and I wish you the best of luck. It's hard waiting out the initial warming up period for Cancers, but once you're in, their's is a beautiful world and they'll be happy to share it with you when they're ready, so don't give up. 🙂
To my friends in here, everything I have typed here is from my viewpoint in dealing with my fiancee, so, if I've missed something or didn't quite hit the nail on the head, feel free to yell at me lol *Hugssssssssssss* to all!
Angel
P.S. Hopelessly.... I wouldn't act like I didn't care or tell him to get stuffed... Once you hurt a Cancer, there's no going back. Tread lightly in that area... If you have any hope of a relationship, that definitely wouldn't help your prospective chances. I have my sincere doubt that he is playing games with you, as most Cancers do not care for games. Rather (and this is a guess since I've never met him or seen you 2 together), I think he's sorting through some feelings, and if you give him time & space, but stand by him at the same time, you'll let him know your feelings are sincere, and h
Angel you are spot on with what you have said here. I have been with my cancer for about two years and you brought up some good points about this sign, and how they relate in a possible relationship situation.
I was the first to tell my cancer how I felt and also had to wait for a time before he said he felt the same. They are careful about taking any steps closer, and dont like to be chased.
Its kind of tricky to know just what to do and when to do it. They dont like games for sure, and require honesty from you above all else. Give him some time to come around like Angel suggests, and stay positive.
Let him see that it makes you happy to spend time with him. Now that you have told him how you feel, there is no need to repeat it. Doing so will only make him feel pressured. And above all dont cling they run from that real fast.
Instead do little things that let him know he is special to you without using words. Be there if he needs you for anything (offer this first of course). Like if he is not feeling the best offer to bring him something to eat and some asprin, etc. Cancers love security in their home life, by being there for him you will show that you can provide that for him. Of course wait a little time before offering this kind of thing, as it sounds like your situation may not have progressed far enough yet.
Above all dont get discouraged as cancers do things in their own good time, and will not be rushed. Angel is right though they do love attention and praise as their confidence is always in flux.
Just try to focus on what you feel for him and dont let yourself get frazzeled or confused. Stay steady and constant and you will win his heart for sure. Thats what I did and it worked out for me very well.
The best of luck with your cancer and your new budding relationship. They are worth the effort it takes to win their heart believe me.
We are here if you need us, ok.
I was the first to tell my cancer how I felt and also had to wait for a time before he said he felt the same. They are careful about taking any steps closer, and dont like to be chased.
Its kind of tricky to know just what to do and when to do it. They dont like games for sure, and require honesty from you above all else. Give him some time to come around like Angel suggests, and stay positive.
Let him see that it makes you happy to spend time with him. Now that you have told him how you feel, there is no need to repeat it. Doing so will only make him feel pressured. And above all dont cling they run from that real fast.
Instead do little things that let him know he is special to you without using words. Be there if he needs you for anything (offer this first of course). Like if he is not feeling the best offer to bring him something to eat and some asprin, etc. Cancers love security in their home life, by being there for him you will show that you can provide that for him. Of course wait a little time before offering this kind of thing, as it sounds like your situation may not have progressed far enough yet.
Above all dont get discouraged as cancers do things in their own good time, and will not be rushed. Angel is right though they do love attention and praise as their confidence is always in flux.
Just try to focus on what you feel for him and dont let yourself get frazzeled or confused. Stay steady and constant and you will win his heart for sure. Thats what I did and it worked out for me very well.
The best of luck with your cancer and your new budding relationship. They are worth the effort it takes to win their heart believe me.
We are here if you need us, ok.
Hi Angel and twinflame2!
It's so nice to hear some sympathetic voices. thanks for the long and helpful posts. i enjoyed reading them!!!! can i follow this advice? that is the question! today I saw him again and i couldn't help it...i had to know something! he told me that he has some feelings for me. not as much as i have for him, he says. he does say he thinks about me all the time and he's nervous about that. but i was soo serious and emotional...i'm not usually like that. and i got quiet and he doesn't like that...but i felt like, what more could i say after i told him the big stuff? the thing is, he started things with me, we were just friends for a long time first. then he came to me but it was just physical first. well, on both our parts. but now i've gotten emotionally involved and i can't seem to step back. usually i am like you say, attentive and friendly and i say nice things (sincerely, cause he's such a great guy and i like to talk about it) and do things like bake cookies (i know i know) or just talk about stuff he's into or mentioned int he past etc etc...it's soo good when it's good. just, I NEED TO KNOW...i agree i think he wasn't playing games (now that i've thought about it combined with what you both say) but just my own insecurities played on me. sigh...
thanks for listening and being there. i get to see him again tomorrow so maybe i can be back to my cool, calm, rational fun self (hah!). i am getting my period in a few days, can i blame it on that?? lol.
i guess i did sort of pressure him, but he didn't seem to mind terribly. i don't know. argh. : )
what is it with me and water signs!!!! first cancer though - and better than the scorpios (shudder) and more passionate than the pisces!
thanks again...hopelesslyindecisive
It's so nice to hear some sympathetic voices. thanks for the long and helpful posts. i enjoyed reading them!!!! can i follow this advice? that is the question! today I saw him again and i couldn't help it...i had to know something! he told me that he has some feelings for me. not as much as i have for him, he says. he does say he thinks about me all the time and he's nervous about that. but i was soo serious and emotional...i'm not usually like that. and i got quiet and he doesn't like that...but i felt like, what more could i say after i told him the big stuff? the thing is, he started things with me, we were just friends for a long time first. then he came to me but it was just physical first. well, on both our parts. but now i've gotten emotionally involved and i can't seem to step back. usually i am like you say, attentive and friendly and i say nice things (sincerely, cause he's such a great guy and i like to talk about it) and do things like bake cookies (i know i know) or just talk about stuff he's into or mentioned int he past etc etc...it's soo good when it's good. just, I NEED TO KNOW...i agree i think he wasn't playing games (now that i've thought about it combined with what you both say) but just my own insecurities played on me. sigh...
thanks for listening and being there. i get to see him again tomorrow so maybe i can be back to my cool, calm, rational fun self (hah!). i am getting my period in a few days, can i blame it on that?? lol.
i guess i did sort of pressure him, but he didn't seem to mind terribly. i don't know. argh. : )
what is it with me and water signs!!!! first cancer though - and better than the scorpios (shudder) and more passionate than the pisces!
thanks again...hopelesslyindecisive
Hi all,
I think all of this advice was pretty right on. Although Cancer males/females are a little different, they do have some of the same qualities. I cant say however we dont play games. We will play any game in the book to get the information we need. I have always been scared of committments and recently read that Cancers are very scared of committments. It made me feel happy because i thought something was wrong with me. Honesty is a huge part of any relationship. I dont think i would try and talk to other men when he's around, and if you do, introduce him. Because knowing myself, if a guy were to do that to me, I would be out looking for someone else, even if it were for one night. Unfortunatly we are very revengeful. Even if we made the whole thing up in our head. And i am sooo moody. I would wait it out. Be fun and act like it was no big deal. People who come on way to strong scare me. Even if I'm not talking about my feelings or how much i like someone I will be wondering how they feel. Its kind of a challenge to get them to like me. Like i said, just play it cool, show him you like him, (i dont think I'd mention L again, until he does), dont get him jealous whether on accident or on purpose. I am a cancer and i am confused all the time. Its those damn shifted tides making us feel different things all the time. Anyway, I hope it helps
I think all of this advice was pretty right on. Although Cancer males/females are a little different, they do have some of the same qualities. I cant say however we dont play games. We will play any game in the book to get the information we need. I have always been scared of committments and recently read that Cancers are very scared of committments. It made me feel happy because i thought something was wrong with me. Honesty is a huge part of any relationship. I dont think i would try and talk to other men when he's around, and if you do, introduce him. Because knowing myself, if a guy were to do that to me, I would be out looking for someone else, even if it were for one night. Unfortunatly we are very revengeful. Even if we made the whole thing up in our head. And i am sooo moody. I would wait it out. Be fun and act like it was no big deal. People who come on way to strong scare me. Even if I'm not talking about my feelings or how much i like someone I will be wondering how they feel. Its kind of a challenge to get them to like me. Like i said, just play it cool, show him you like him, (i dont think I'd mention L again, until he does), dont get him jealous whether on accident or on purpose. I am a cancer and i am confused all the time. Its those damn shifted tides making us feel different things all the time. Anyway, I hope it helps
Thank you cancergirl and cancerbuddy...
well I did see him yesterday. I thought about it all day and i got too bummed out thinking he would never return my feelings. and it seemed too much for me to handle being with him like that. and unfair to him to put too much pressure on him, as you all had mentioned.
so did i back off and play it light as recommended? NOOO WAY! i'm a serious virgo girl and i just ruined it all...sigh. i told him that i wanted to end it because i was afraid of getting in too deep and i just wanted to be friends again. am i a total idiot? of course. am i kicking myself already? definitely. but at that MOMENT after having built up all day that he would never reciprocate...it was what i truly felt to be the right thing for us both.
he took it well i thought, saying only that he had been on the verge of falling for me and that he really wanted to still be friends.
I hope that i can calm myself down, get some perspective, and wait till he's ready. or will he never be ready now? i see him in two days at a social gathering during the day. i WILL be fun and light and good then...though it's probably too late. it wasn't to hurt him at all, just to preserve my own feelings. but reading your posts, maybe he'll close the door forever.
by the way, the guy i was talking to is a pal of his too, it was a bbq where we all knew each other. but i guess i may have been a bit nervous about talking to my guy so i may have spent too much time with others? my fear is creating so many problems. sighhhhhhhhhhh!!!! help!!
thanks for the moral and verbal support!!!!!!!!
especially for a virgo - maybe this gives you insight into our weird behavior?? LOL
Hopelesslyindecisive
well I did see him yesterday. I thought about it all day and i got too bummed out thinking he would never return my feelings. and it seemed too much for me to handle being with him like that. and unfair to him to put too much pressure on him, as you all had mentioned.
so did i back off and play it light as recommended? NOOO WAY! i'm a serious virgo girl and i just ruined it all...sigh. i told him that i wanted to end it because i was afraid of getting in too deep and i just wanted to be friends again. am i a total idiot? of course. am i kicking myself already? definitely. but at that MOMENT after having built up all day that he would never reciprocate...it was what i truly felt to be the right thing for us both.
he took it well i thought, saying only that he had been on the verge of falling for me and that he really wanted to still be friends.
I hope that i can calm myself down, get some perspective, and wait till he's ready. or will he never be ready now? i see him in two days at a social gathering during the day. i WILL be fun and light and good then...though it's probably too late. it wasn't to hurt him at all, just to preserve my own feelings. but reading your posts, maybe he'll close the door forever.
by the way, the guy i was talking to is a pal of his too, it was a bbq where we all knew each other. but i guess i may have been a bit nervous about talking to my guy so i may have spent too much time with others? my fear is creating so many problems. sighhhhhhhhhhh!!!! help!!
thanks for the moral and verbal support!!!!!!!!
especially for a virgo - maybe this gives you insight into our weird behavior?? LOL
Hopelesslyindecisive
Hey hopelessy, calm down hun... All is not lost. I'm a water sign myself, so I share some of the same characteristics as Cancers, and even I get lost in this sometimes. BELIEVE ME, I have messed up with my guy a few times while trying to understand him. This board and my friends in here have helped me to calm down so much and take things one step at a time. If I hadn't found this board, in fact, we probably would have broken up due to my feeling that I couldn't get through to him and that he would never reciprocate what I feel to the extent I was looking for. What I've realized is he probably has felt the way I do all along, only he was being cautious before he shared it. I too wanted to pressure my guy into telling me how he feels... but that honestly doesn't work.
Backing off might be a good idea in the long run and all may not be over for you 2. This gives him a chance to watch you and your behavior toward him, as well as towards other guys. Like we said before, try REAL hard not to flirt with other men around him because that WILL definitely turn him off. It won't peak his curiosity... It will fire up his temper and you don't want that. *ugh*
If you're still interested in having a relationship with him, have fun with him and let him see that being with him makes you happy. When my fiancee and I go to social gatherings and other men talk to me, I usually make it a quick conversation or drag my guy over to be with me and enter the conversation ASAP... I like that recommendation a lot because it lets him know he's #1 on your list and no one else can take his place. As for being emotional and thinking too hard about it and losing your edge, it's actually all part of the cycle with Cancers from my experience. My guy will drive me totally insane with doubts and fears (Scorpios are prone to investigating and analyzing everything, everyone, and every word, so I'm always in a tizzy anyway lol), and then when I decide to back down and give up so to speak, he'll wow me in a way I never imagined. They will not 'perform' as far as romance and sharing their feelings are concerned as long as they are 'expected' to. But back down, and watch your world spin around you when they blow your mind. My man will not be pushed, shoved, lured, coaxed, etc. But, if I'm straightforward and tell him what I want or need and then sit patiently without pushing, coaxing, hinting, nagging, etc., it happens.
Take this opportunity to be friends again... have true fun with him without the worry of complications with the Love issues, and you just might see him leave his shell a few feet away and step towards you. Cancers prefer to be friends with their lovers anyway, so I'd be willing to bet friends is a great place to start with this man. A Cancer won't jump til they're ready. I think he knows you didn't mean to hurt him, but time will tell how he feels about your step in this case. If he shrugs you off, never speaks to you again, or things are just never the same, you'll know where you stand, but if he still has feelings for you (which he apparently does and perhaps is just a bit afraid of them or maybe just not ready to show them; perhaps he's not done reviewing your intentions as of yet), and you continue to come around him and show him how happy he makes you, you just might win his heart after all.
As far as baking cookies, etc., Cancers LOVE food and a woman who can be domesticated and take care of their home, their needs, and those of their future family. This is not a bad thing. They also love people who can hold intellectual conversations when they're in the mood to chat because they're usually highly intelligent with an opinion (though sometimes kept to themselves for a while) about just about anything. Talk to him. Feed him. Enjoy him. Be yourself. Pull in all of your patience and sit quietly, and I'll bet you'll peak his curiosity and he'll come to you. Don't chase him; T2 is
Backing off might be a good idea in the long run and all may not be over for you 2. This gives him a chance to watch you and your behavior toward him, as well as towards other guys. Like we said before, try REAL hard not to flirt with other men around him because that WILL definitely turn him off. It won't peak his curiosity... It will fire up his temper and you don't want that. *ugh*
If you're still interested in having a relationship with him, have fun with him and let him see that being with him makes you happy. When my fiancee and I go to social gatherings and other men talk to me, I usually make it a quick conversation or drag my guy over to be with me and enter the conversation ASAP... I like that recommendation a lot because it lets him know he's #1 on your list and no one else can take his place. As for being emotional and thinking too hard about it and losing your edge, it's actually all part of the cycle with Cancers from my experience. My guy will drive me totally insane with doubts and fears (Scorpios are prone to investigating and analyzing everything, everyone, and every word, so I'm always in a tizzy anyway lol), and then when I decide to back down and give up so to speak, he'll wow me in a way I never imagined. They will not 'perform' as far as romance and sharing their feelings are concerned as long as they are 'expected' to. But back down, and watch your world spin around you when they blow your mind. My man will not be pushed, shoved, lured, coaxed, etc. But, if I'm straightforward and tell him what I want or need and then sit patiently without pushing, coaxing, hinting, nagging, etc., it happens.
Take this opportunity to be friends again... have true fun with him without the worry of complications with the Love issues, and you just might see him leave his shell a few feet away and step towards you. Cancers prefer to be friends with their lovers anyway, so I'd be willing to bet friends is a great place to start with this man. A Cancer won't jump til they're ready. I think he knows you didn't mean to hurt him, but time will tell how he feels about your step in this case. If he shrugs you off, never speaks to you again, or things are just never the same, you'll know where you stand, but if he still has feelings for you (which he apparently does and perhaps is just a bit afraid of them or maybe just not ready to show them; perhaps he's not done reviewing your intentions as of yet), and you continue to come around him and show him how happy he makes you, you just might win his heart after all.
As far as baking cookies, etc., Cancers LOVE food and a woman who can be domesticated and take care of their home, their needs, and those of their future family. This is not a bad thing. They also love people who can hold intellectual conversations when they're in the mood to chat because they're usually highly intelligent with an opinion (though sometimes kept to themselves for a while) about just about anything. Talk to him. Feed him. Enjoy him. Be yourself. Pull in all of your patience and sit quietly, and I'll bet you'll peak his curiosity and he'll come to you. Don't chase him; T2 is
Riders Angel,
Sorry i misunderstood your statement. Your very lucky to have figured out your cancer guy. Everything you said is right on. I HATE players too. That's so funny cause all my friends know that about me too. If i meet a guy and he's really goodlooking and he seems really nice, if goes off and talks to a bunch of different girls, it's a done deal. And you can tell people who have been friends for a long time, or who just met. Some of my friends think that its a challenge. To me it's one of the biggest turn offs.
I dont like cheaters either. Why not break up if you need to be with someone else?
And you are very right about patience. A long time ago when i first started dating someone, he said i have alot of walls up and he said he was determined to break them down. I told him he could try but he needs alot of patience with me. That lasted a year and a half and he still didnt know me by the time we broke up.
Sorry i misunderstood your statement. Your very lucky to have figured out your cancer guy. Everything you said is right on. I HATE players too. That's so funny cause all my friends know that about me too. If i meet a guy and he's really goodlooking and he seems really nice, if goes off and talks to a bunch of different girls, it's a done deal. And you can tell people who have been friends for a long time, or who just met. Some of my friends think that its a challenge. To me it's one of the biggest turn offs.
I dont like cheaters either. Why not break up if you need to be with someone else?
And you are very right about patience. A long time ago when i first started dating someone, he said i have alot of walls up and he said he was determined to break them down. I told him he could try but he needs alot of patience with me. That lasted a year and a half and he still didnt know me by the time we broke up.
Riders Angel,
Sorry i misunderstood your statement. Your very lucky to have figured out your cancer guy. Everything you said is right on. I HATE players too. That's so funny cause all my friends know that about me too. If i meet a guy and he's really goodlooking and he seems really nice, if goes off and talks to a bunch of different girls, it's a done deal. And you can tell people who have been friends for a long time, or who just met. Some of my friends think that its a challenge. To me it's one of the biggest turn offs.
I dont like cheaters either. Why not break up if you need to be with someone else?
And you are very right about patience. A long time ago when i first started dating someone, he said i have alot of walls up and he said he was determined to break them down. I told him he could try but he needs alot of patience with me. That lasted a year and a half and he still didnt know me by the time we broke up.
Sorry i misunderstood your statement. Your very lucky to have figured out your cancer guy. Everything you said is right on. I HATE players too. That's so funny cause all my friends know that about me too. If i meet a guy and he's really goodlooking and he seems really nice, if goes off and talks to a bunch of different girls, it's a done deal. And you can tell people who have been friends for a long time, or who just met. Some of my friends think that its a challenge. To me it's one of the biggest turn offs.
I dont like cheaters either. Why not break up if you need to be with someone else?
And you are very right about patience. A long time ago when i first started dating someone, he said i have alot of walls up and he said he was determined to break them down. I told him he could try but he needs alot of patience with me. That lasted a year and a half and he still didnt know me by the time we broke up.
Oh, hun... I have not yet, nor do I expect I ever will, completely understand my guy... I just love him as he is. I look at him, and he is a complete puzzle to me sometimes, but the parts I do understand I love with all I have, and the parts he has not yet allowed me to understand or that I have just not yet figured out, well, I just love them anyway. 🙂
Thing is, patience isn't my greatest virtue - I wasn't born with much, you see, and I've never been very good at mysteries I can't solve. In fact, sometimes I read back on my posts and wonder if those responses really came from me. I may 'grasp' the concept of what he is all about, but I've come to the conclusion that I may never completely understand how his mind works - I'll just love him for all that he is. 🙂 Perhaps his being a mystery and a challenge isn't a bad thing after all - at least I will never get bored of him. 😉
Thinking outloud....
Sometimes I wonder... Am I a mystery to him as well? Maybe he feels the same way about me... Now there's a thought for ya... When I'm pulling my hair out trying to understand him (hence the reason I ended up in this chat forum lol), maybe he's pulling his hair out too? Well, if he is, I sure hope he sees it the way I do - and just loves me anyway. 🙂
And there you have it, I'm as confused as the next person when it comes to relationships... I'm just plodding along, doing the best I can. But, I'm a Scorpio, you see, and I don't share as much as I probably could and maybe should. I'm better at answering other people's questions or responding to their statements than I am at handling my own lol. Thanks for giving me a reason to admit.... *gulp*..... I'm human too and even when I 'literally' understand something or someone and can 'explain' that something or someone to someone else, sometimes I don't 'emotionally' understand a similiar situation in my own life at all lol.
Hugssssssssssssssss
Angel
P.S. I agree about the cheaters thing - If the person you're with isn't enough for you & you need more, set them free to find more too because you aren't enough for them either if you can't give them everything you have, (in my opinion).
Thing is, patience isn't my greatest virtue - I wasn't born with much, you see, and I've never been very good at mysteries I can't solve. In fact, sometimes I read back on my posts and wonder if those responses really came from me. I may 'grasp' the concept of what he is all about, but I've come to the conclusion that I may never completely understand how his mind works - I'll just love him for all that he is. 🙂 Perhaps his being a mystery and a challenge isn't a bad thing after all - at least I will never get bored of him. 😉
Thinking outloud....
Sometimes I wonder... Am I a mystery to him as well? Maybe he feels the same way about me... Now there's a thought for ya... When I'm pulling my hair out trying to understand him (hence the reason I ended up in this chat forum lol), maybe he's pulling his hair out too? Well, if he is, I sure hope he sees it the way I do - and just loves me anyway. 🙂
And there you have it, I'm as confused as the next person when it comes to relationships... I'm just plodding along, doing the best I can. But, I'm a Scorpio, you see, and I don't share as much as I probably could and maybe should. I'm better at answering other people's questions or responding to their statements than I am at handling my own lol. Thanks for giving me a reason to admit.... *gulp*..... I'm human too and even when I 'literally' understand something or someone and can 'explain' that something or someone to someone else, sometimes I don't 'emotionally' understand a similiar situation in my own life at all lol.
Hugssssssssssssssss
Angel
P.S. I agree about the cheaters thing - If the person you're with isn't enough for you & you need more, set them free to find more too because you aren't enough for them either if you can't give them everything you have, (in my opinion).
Hi Riders Angel...and all
i could feel the hug and sympathy all the way through the data lines!! thanks so much. it's good to get insight. if only i wasn't going crazy inside...but i applied the advice when i saw him on sunday! i was brave (even though i didn't even want to go!!) and i was friendly, and tried to talk to him...
so, maybe your experience with your cancer man can help here? the way he reacted, i'm not sure. several times i found him in my near vicinity, sort of hovering. on a couple different occasions when talking with others (male or female) he walked over and i got him into the conversation. but he didn't really seem to respond to JUST ME alone. i tried to talk to him but it went nowhere...———
another time i had him in my sights and so i gave him a big smile...he gave me one back...but i haven't heard from him since. : (
in fact he hasn't called since it all happened, almost a week ago (and you know how long that can feel when you're waiting for a call!!!!!)
but i will see him at a dinner party on friday (at my house) as that is a group thing that he is a part of. i didn't even ask him specifically, but i know he will be there. so i am cooking some special food!!! : ) he has always responded well to a good dinner.
so how can i get him to call me again? or will he never? but he said he wanted to be friends——?
as you say, it's perpetual confusion. as i read your other post to cancergirl, i realized that maybe HE is as confused as i am, i really hadn't thought of that before (mostly because i've been so open with him) of course it probably IS confusing to have some one use the L word and then a few weeks later break up with you. he's probably sitting around trying to figure out what THAT Means (and so am i, really).
in fact, if you see a post on this board regarding that...let me know asap!! LOL
seriously, thanks really to all for all the posts, it really has helped me at least to know that i'm not alone in this bizarre situation and that there are some people who may even be able to help me analyze it!
if only i could read into his brain!!!!!!!! : )
thanks thanks thanks!
hopelessly
i could feel the hug and sympathy all the way through the data lines!! thanks so much. it's good to get insight. if only i wasn't going crazy inside...but i applied the advice when i saw him on sunday! i was brave (even though i didn't even want to go!!) and i was friendly, and tried to talk to him...
so, maybe your experience with your cancer man can help here? the way he reacted, i'm not sure. several times i found him in my near vicinity, sort of hovering. on a couple different occasions when talking with others (male or female) he walked over and i got him into the conversation. but he didn't really seem to respond to JUST ME alone. i tried to talk to him but it went nowhere...———
another time i had him in my sights and so i gave him a big smile...he gave me one back...but i haven't heard from him since. : (
in fact he hasn't called since it all happened, almost a week ago (and you know how long that can feel when you're waiting for a call!!!!!)
but i will see him at a dinner party on friday (at my house) as that is a group thing that he is a part of. i didn't even ask him specifically, but i know he will be there. so i am cooking some special food!!! : ) he has always responded well to a good dinner.
so how can i get him to call me again? or will he never? but he said he wanted to be friends——?
as you say, it's perpetual confusion. as i read your other post to cancergirl, i realized that maybe HE is as confused as i am, i really hadn't thought of that before (mostly because i've been so open with him) of course it probably IS confusing to have some one use the L word and then a few weeks later break up with you. he's probably sitting around trying to figure out what THAT Means (and so am i, really).
in fact, if you see a post on this board regarding that...let me know asap!! LOL
seriously, thanks really to all for all the posts, it really has helped me at least to know that i'm not alone in this bizarre situation and that there are some people who may even be able to help me analyze it!
if only i could read into his brain!!!!!!!! : )
thanks thanks thanks!
hopelessly
Good morning, Hopelessly. Smile hun ... All will be well in the end. 🙂 Remember, through it all, everything happens for a reason. As for the reasons why Cancers do the things they do, only they know - at least until they choose to share the info with you. 😉
As for his reaction to you, he may be scared... perhaps his feelings are too strong for just friendship, but he thinks that is what you want...based on your words of course...
Or... on a second thought, maybe he is doing his homework. Cancers take note of everything about those they are involved with... and perhaps he is measuring up whether you really meant what you said, both the I love you part and the I want to just be friends part. Time is the only thing I can recommend to you aside from keep trying to be close to him without smothering him. I think the dinner and his favorite foods are a wonderful idea, as was pulling him into your conversations at the get together and making eye contact...(Say, can you add a little mystery to those eye locks? 😉 Hey, a little mystery/seduction never hurt any man lol) I would say, however, that I wouldn't let it go on this way forever, as I think your sanity would be in jeopardy if you did... maybe just let him hide in his shell for a while, and then ask him for a second chance, tell him you spoke out of fear that he wasn't reciprocating your feelings, and tell him you're sorry.
If you spoke out of fear or any other reason than that this is what you really want, I would tell him the truth - honesty is always best with any sign, right? I wouldn't go right down the L lane right away though, because, as you said, you told him you loved him and then broke up with him a short time later - and that can sting for a long while, even if his feelings are still there.
Nice and slow hun... If you push too hard, you'll frighten him into that shell of his forever. One step at a time... If he's still talking to you, that's a sign that 'something' is still there. You'll just have to wait and see what that something is ... because you'll never figure him out til he's ready for you to do that. It's a Cancer thing. 😉
Hugssssssssssss.... We're here for you hun
Angel
As for his reaction to you, he may be scared... perhaps his feelings are too strong for just friendship, but he thinks that is what you want...based on your words of course...
Or... on a second thought, maybe he is doing his homework. Cancers take note of everything about those they are involved with... and perhaps he is measuring up whether you really meant what you said, both the I love you part and the I want to just be friends part. Time is the only thing I can recommend to you aside from keep trying to be close to him without smothering him. I think the dinner and his favorite foods are a wonderful idea, as was pulling him into your conversations at the get together and making eye contact...(Say, can you add a little mystery to those eye locks? 😉 Hey, a little mystery/seduction never hurt any man lol) I would say, however, that I wouldn't let it go on this way forever, as I think your sanity would be in jeopardy if you did... maybe just let him hide in his shell for a while, and then ask him for a second chance, tell him you spoke out of fear that he wasn't reciprocating your feelings, and tell him you're sorry.
If you spoke out of fear or any other reason than that this is what you really want, I would tell him the truth - honesty is always best with any sign, right? I wouldn't go right down the L lane right away though, because, as you said, you told him you loved him and then broke up with him a short time later - and that can sting for a long while, even if his feelings are still there.
Nice and slow hun... If you push too hard, you'll frighten him into that shell of his forever. One step at a time... If he's still talking to you, that's a sign that 'something' is still there. You'll just have to wait and see what that something is ... because you'll never figure him out til he's ready for you to do that. It's a Cancer thing. 😉
Hugssssssssssss.... We're here for you hun
Angel
BURP
Hello Hope.....
Reading Sweet-P's post it is very clear that there are many issues whose how, what and why- we cannt guage well. she has experience of quiet a few cancerians and yet she is not able to penetrate into the cancer shell. And you know what? The cancer shell is so tough that it is very difficult for one cancerian to guess whats' with the other one.🙂
Though a cancerian female, I have also been guilty of the above mentioned- troublesome cancer behaviour.
Your guy is in awe of you. Period. the realtionship with you must have taken him by surprise. He must have not have realised how much he loves you. He is sizing you up & wanting you to approach him. Now that is the trickiest part. How do you go about it? What if he again pulls back? So go about it in a step by step manner. He is definitely trying to be back with you. And once you feel he is relaxed with you, tell him how badly you miss going for a movie with him. And I hope that works! According ot me what he is doing is very smoothly glide back into the realtionship with you.
OK about the dinner party. In your circle does the host call up everybody else to confirm their presence? If yes then call him. and speak to him in a very relaxed tone as if there was never ever any akwardness between the two of you. And yes you could even ask him to help you organising the party! Tell him that you trust his good organising skills and need his advise. and then the actual help😉
During the party look at him with total love. Virgos can unknowingly get this highly critical expression in their eyes, which can put a cancerian into self-doubt. Try not to have any critical ideas in your head when looking at him. Just think of the best time that you had had with him ! what you think will get refelcted in your eyes. And virgos are known for their enticing eyes🙂 And please take care not to look at anybody else when u r haivng such mushy thoughts in your mind. You could take an analytical view of others and let him know it. I would appreciate that, if my guy does this! So sexy! Looking at me with love & the rest with cool analysis.
You know cancer-virgo relationship is worth every grain. Usually I would have not commented. But since I am a virgo obssessed female, I thought I would try to be of some help. And yes I know it is very enticing & flattering for a cancerian to be loved by a virgo, who never ever give there heart easily.
I do hope all this helps. I totally believe in cancer-virgo relationship. So go for him girl!
Looney Bird
Reading Sweet-P's post it is very clear that there are many issues whose how, what and why- we cannt guage well. she has experience of quiet a few cancerians and yet she is not able to penetrate into the cancer shell. And you know what? The cancer shell is so tough that it is very difficult for one cancerian to guess whats' with the other one.🙂
Though a cancerian female, I have also been guilty of the above mentioned- troublesome cancer behaviour.
Your guy is in awe of you. Period. the realtionship with you must have taken him by surprise. He must have not have realised how much he loves you. He is sizing you up & wanting you to approach him. Now that is the trickiest part. How do you go about it? What if he again pulls back? So go about it in a step by step manner. He is definitely trying to be back with you. And once you feel he is relaxed with you, tell him how badly you miss going for a movie with him. And I hope that works! According ot me what he is doing is very smoothly glide back into the realtionship with you.
OK about the dinner party. In your circle does the host call up everybody else to confirm their presence? If yes then call him. and speak to him in a very relaxed tone as if there was never ever any akwardness between the two of you. And yes you could even ask him to help you organising the party! Tell him that you trust his good organising skills and need his advise. and then the actual help😉
During the party look at him with total love. Virgos can unknowingly get this highly critical expression in their eyes, which can put a cancerian into self-doubt. Try not to have any critical ideas in your head when looking at him. Just think of the best time that you had had with him ! what you think will get refelcted in your eyes. And virgos are known for their enticing eyes🙂 And please take care not to look at anybody else when u r haivng such mushy thoughts in your mind. You could take an analytical view of others and let him know it. I would appreciate that, if my guy does this! So sexy! Looking at me with love & the rest with cool analysis.
You know cancer-virgo relationship is worth every grain. Usually I would have not commented. But since I am a virgo obssessed female, I thought I would try to be of some help. And yes I know it is very enticing & flattering for a cancerian to be loved by a virgo, who never ever give there heart easily.
I do hope all this helps. I totally believe in cancer-virgo relationship. So go for him girl!
Looney Bird
I second LB's sentiments 100% ... and I encourage both of you hopelessly and sweet not to give up. It's been 1 year for me and the Cancer shell is so tough and their personalities so complex that there were some really difficult times for me and a lot of second guessing and what in the world is going on here thoughts, but I really feel the struggle has been worth it and I know it can be for you too. I've got my fingers crossed for the both of you... They're probably the toughest to understand of all the zodiac signs (in my opinion), but oh what lies beneath the surface. 😉 Don't give up....
The best of luck to both of you!
Hugsssssssssssssssss
Angel
P.S.
The best of luck to both of you!
Hugsssssssssssssssss
Angel
P.S.
I have an idea. Get your Cancer drunk. Any shell or wall will come down. I know a lot of people say things when their drunk that they dont mean, but, for me, I try so hard when I'm sober to hide and control all my feelings that when i drink, there is no controlling what i say about how i feel.
It's worth a try 🙂
It's worth a try 🙂
Sweet-P,
Your cancer man sounds a bit like my pisces ex-...when he had a problem, he went into his 'cave' for a day or two and wouldn't let me help. I hated that! But he did it because he needed to figure it out on his own, work through it in his head. And he didn't want to drag me down, too. Of course, it just alienated me but... maybe he would be willing to talk to you about changing how he deals with problems, or at least giving you a heads up when he's going into the 'cave'.
Everyone says being witha cancer is so special but it sounds like everyone has a tough time too! I'm not sure about this... : )
thanks Loony, it's nice to know he might ACTUALLY like me : ). the truth is, i called him up yesterday out of an intense urge to see him (like i feel at every moment frankly) and so we met for a walk. and he actually opened up to me a bit. He said some nice things...like he didn't realize how much he liked me until i told him it was over. but the closest he came to talling me EXACTLY how he feels is when he said he wanted to take me away and be together with me. Is this a sort of declaration of love—?? LOL
he did say that it started out as a physical relationship but that it snuck up on him...the emotional side. which is what you said so... and he was concerned that what he was bringing to the party would be considered by me as 'lame' so maybe you're right about him being in awe too...as if i could think anything he does is lame!
so i will proceed with all fluttery eyes at the party!!!!
thanks for the spot on advice.
Riders Angel...i took your comment to heart and when i saw him i told him the truth about why i broke up with him and that's when he opened up to me. well, cracked the shell a bit anyway! : ) thanks for all the moral support!
so...what IS the best part of a cancer-virgo relationship, and why does it work so well? i've NEVER been with a cancer before...pisces, yes, scorpio (shudder, no offence but...) a few times, but cancer is the weirdest one yet!!!!!!! but i AM totally intrigued. but i have to say, part of me feels like...is it worth all this———? if it's going to be perpetual roller coaster. on the other hand, i do LIKE roller coasters!
sigh....
THANKS for all the moral, and verbal, support. it's certainly helped me react in a better way, not that i'm trying to manipulate anyone, just take things more calmly.
the one thing though is after our talk yesterday, we agreed to have one more night together, but no certainties about the future. and after that, he closed right up, and i felt like he 'got what he wanted' and then that was the end. but he isn't like that. i know i'm probably just paranoid...is there ANOTHER Possible solution— up, down, up, down!!!!!!!!!!
thanks everyone!!!! and good luck to you sweet-p.
Hopelessly...
Your cancer man sounds a bit like my pisces ex-...when he had a problem, he went into his 'cave' for a day or two and wouldn't let me help. I hated that! But he did it because he needed to figure it out on his own, work through it in his head. And he didn't want to drag me down, too. Of course, it just alienated me but... maybe he would be willing to talk to you about changing how he deals with problems, or at least giving you a heads up when he's going into the 'cave'.
Everyone says being witha cancer is so special but it sounds like everyone has a tough time too! I'm not sure about this... : )
thanks Loony, it's nice to know he might ACTUALLY like me : ). the truth is, i called him up yesterday out of an intense urge to see him (like i feel at every moment frankly) and so we met for a walk. and he actually opened up to me a bit. He said some nice things...like he didn't realize how much he liked me until i told him it was over. but the closest he came to talling me EXACTLY how he feels is when he said he wanted to take me away and be together with me. Is this a sort of declaration of love—?? LOL
he did say that it started out as a physical relationship but that it snuck up on him...the emotional side. which is what you said so... and he was concerned that what he was bringing to the party would be considered by me as 'lame' so maybe you're right about him being in awe too...as if i could think anything he does is lame!
so i will proceed with all fluttery eyes at the party!!!!
thanks for the spot on advice.
Riders Angel...i took your comment to heart and when i saw him i told him the truth about why i broke up with him and that's when he opened up to me. well, cracked the shell a bit anyway! : ) thanks for all the moral support!
so...what IS the best part of a cancer-virgo relationship, and why does it work so well? i've NEVER been with a cancer before...pisces, yes, scorpio (shudder, no offence but...) a few times, but cancer is the weirdest one yet!!!!!!! but i AM totally intrigued. but i have to say, part of me feels like...is it worth all this———? if it's going to be perpetual roller coaster. on the other hand, i do LIKE roller coasters!
sigh....
THANKS for all the moral, and verbal, support. it's certainly helped me react in a better way, not that i'm trying to manipulate anyone, just take things more calmly.
the one thing though is after our talk yesterday, we agreed to have one more night together, but no certainties about the future. and after that, he closed right up, and i felt like he 'got what he wanted' and then that was the end. but he isn't like that. i know i'm probably just paranoid...is there ANOTHER Possible solution— up, down, up, down!!!!!!!!!!
thanks everyone!!!! and good luck to you sweet-p.
Hopelessly...
ps...ok cancer girl, i will definitely try your advice!!!!! i'll keep you posted! : )
hopelessly
hopelessly
Hey Hopelessly, sometimes what we 'perceive' as their current stance in the relationship isn't at all correct. There have been many times I thought my fiancee was thinking something completely opposite of what he was really thinking. Truth be known, I have gone through my 'he's not going to stay' phase and my 'I wonder what in the world he's still here for' phase and my 'What in the world is this man thinking' phase, as well as my 'Hello, can somebody explain this man to me' phase right along with the rest of those brave individuals who choose to love a Cancerian. 😉 Seriously, hun, he may have seemed to close up to you and maybe outwardly he did, but that doesn't mean there isn't a river of emotions flowing inside of him - Perhaps he outwardly appeared to close up 'because' of that river - remember, he won't show you everything until he's ready and he'll fight hard to hide it til then. One step at a time hun... He came a LONG way when he said the things he has already said and believe me, he wouldn't have said them if you had pushed for them. I would say he definitely misses you and, if I had to guess, I think you're going to have that relationship after all - if you take it slowly, one baby step at a time, and by all means, let him lead lol.
I don't qualify to answer the question about the best thing in a Virgo-Cancer relationship, but I can tell you the best thing about being in a relationship with a Cancer, for me, (next to the amazing hugs he gives) is the devotion and loyalty and that great big heart he tries sooooooo hard to hide lol. Well, that's my mushy moment for the day 😛 Good luck to you at the party... you can do it - I have faith in you!
Sweet-P, hang in there sweetie... What's not to love about you? He's just displaying that traditional Cancerian stubborness lol. We adore you, so I KNOW this man has just got to be in complete adoration of what he has found in you. Don't give up hun... We're here for you. 🙂
Hey, Cancerbuddy - Aren't you playing it down 'juuuuuuust a little bit' when you said you guys are really 'something' hmmmmmmmm That doesn't QUITE describe what we're feeling AT ALL... ROFLLLLLLLL
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 2 all
Angel
I don't qualify to answer the question about the best thing in a Virgo-Cancer relationship, but I can tell you the best thing about being in a relationship with a Cancer, for me, (next to the amazing hugs he gives) is the devotion and loyalty and that great big heart he tries sooooooo hard to hide lol. Well, that's my mushy moment for the day 😛 Good luck to you at the party... you can do it - I have faith in you!
Sweet-P, hang in there sweetie... What's not to love about you? He's just displaying that traditional Cancerian stubborness lol. We adore you, so I KNOW this man has just got to be in complete adoration of what he has found in you. Don't give up hun... We're here for you. 🙂
Hey, Cancerbuddy - Aren't you playing it down 'juuuuuuust a little bit' when you said you guys are really 'something' hmmmmmmmm That doesn't QUITE describe what we're feeling AT ALL... ROFLLLLLLLL
HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 2 all
Angel
How about an EGO check
OJ? Was that in reference to my last post? 😢 I'm not like that at all hun... I apologize if I came across that way...
At this moment in time, only one word pops into my mind in response to your last statement... "Amen"
Riders Angel,
yes i was able to see that when i thought he was 'closing up' maybe he was just happy and didn't want to get all in my face about it. i AM looking forward tonight...took time out of my busy chopping and mixing to check this board...my lifesaver it seems.
thanks for the good wishes...i will keep you posted on what happens!!
Sweet-P, I like to dig too...but only if i'm going to get to something down there! : ) may there be some treasure. I hope things are looking up with your man. i guess cancer men supply plenty of drama!!!
Ok, here's hoping my fishy tacos do the trick!
HI
yes i was able to see that when i thought he was 'closing up' maybe he was just happy and didn't want to get all in my face about it. i AM looking forward tonight...took time out of my busy chopping and mixing to check this board...my lifesaver it seems.
thanks for the good wishes...i will keep you posted on what happens!!
Sweet-P, I like to dig too...but only if i'm going to get to something down there! : ) may there be some treasure. I hope things are looking up with your man. i guess cancer men supply plenty of drama!!!
Ok, here's hoping my fishy tacos do the trick!
HI
Wishing you tons of luck tonight Hopelessy... Relax and have a wonderful night 🙂
Angel
Angel
fishy tacos.......the sound of that makes me cringe.lol
Hi all,
thanks for the good wishes...
well, mr. cancer guy ATE and DRANK and ATE some more, he really liked it all AND he was giving me some moony looks from those seablue eyes of his...sigh...so I suggested a movie in a week...(i couldn't wait for him to get around to asking!!) and he said yes...so...all systems go?? i think...of course, it's never as simple as all that i guess but still, all feels better. you know when you have the GOOD feeling in your gut, instead of the BAAAAD one!
so after the movie, I aim to get him DRUNK and find out THE TRUTH. LOL ...
so, alls well that ends well??i couldn't have done it without all the moral support!!!! to keep me sane and stable.
one question though...we're going out on friday, should i call him during the week at all or just wait till then—?
: )
oh, it never ends...
big hug to all...
HI
thanks for the good wishes...
well, mr. cancer guy ATE and DRANK and ATE some more, he really liked it all AND he was giving me some moony looks from those seablue eyes of his...sigh...so I suggested a movie in a week...(i couldn't wait for him to get around to asking!!) and he said yes...so...all systems go?? i think...of course, it's never as simple as all that i guess but still, all feels better. you know when you have the GOOD feeling in your gut, instead of the BAAAAD one!
so after the movie, I aim to get him DRUNK and find out THE TRUTH. LOL ...
so, alls well that ends well??i couldn't have done it without all the moral support!!!! to keep me sane and stable.
one question though...we're going out on friday, should i call him during the week at all or just wait till then—?
: )
oh, it never ends...
big hug to all...
HI
I've been waiting and waiting to hear how your night went!
It sounds like it went really good. I am so happy for you.
I'm pretty sure the drinking thing will work 🙂
As far as calling? Cancer/Cancer dont get along too well with each other dating because were too much alike. I am old fashioned and think the guy needs to persue me. If it were me, I wouldnt call. But that may be one reason the Cancer/Cancer combo doesnt work. Maybe others have more insight on this one.
Keep up the good work 😉
It sounds like it went really good. I am so happy for you.
I'm pretty sure the drinking thing will work 🙂
As far as calling? Cancer/Cancer dont get along too well with each other dating because were too much alike. I am old fashioned and think the guy needs to persue me. If it were me, I wouldnt call. But that may be one reason the Cancer/Cancer combo doesnt work. Maybe others have more insight on this one.
Keep up the good work 😉
hi cancergirl,
thank you for listening! i can't wait till friday to try the truth serum...
however, i decided NOT to call, after looking at what you said, because in this case i had invited him out to the movie in the first place...and i wanted him to pursue me too i guess. but, he ended up calling me! so it worked out ok. we fixed up our plans for the weekend and he said some nice things to me. : )
now i just have to wait till friday...tick tock!!!
i feel VERY fortunate.
but, sometimes i wonder what i'm getting myself into with this cancer man...LOL!
how's life going for you??
HI
thank you for listening! i can't wait till friday to try the truth serum...
however, i decided NOT to call, after looking at what you said, because in this case i had invited him out to the movie in the first place...and i wanted him to pursue me too i guess. but, he ended up calling me! so it worked out ok. we fixed up our plans for the weekend and he said some nice things to me. : )
now i just have to wait till friday...tick tock!!!
i feel VERY fortunate.
but, sometimes i wonder what i'm getting myself into with this cancer man...LOL!
how's life going for you??
HI
Hey Hopelessly,
It sounds like everything is going awesome for you - CONGRATS!!! I'm happy to hear you're smiling and I hope it continues. 🙂
Good luck... and Have a blast!
Angel
It sounds like everything is going awesome for you - CONGRATS!!! I'm happy to hear you're smiling and I hope it continues. 🙂
Good luck... and Have a blast!
Angel
That guy's an fck hole Alantic. Ignore him.
I feel you. Booze is a social lubricant. Me, a bar, room full of women. Bad mix baby.
I feel you. Booze is a social lubricant. Me, a bar, room full of women. Bad mix baby.
Here's my view:
Cancerians (or me) have a low self-esteem and always need to be complimented. Do not, I repeat, do not appear super-social, bossy, or super-successful to cancerians (or at least me). Be down to earth. If I were you, I'd trip on a cord in front of this guy next time I see him...lol.
Cancerians (or me) have a low self-esteem and always need to be complimented. Do not, I repeat, do not appear super-social, bossy, or super-successful to cancerians (or at least me). Be down to earth. If I were you, I'd trip on a cord in front of this guy next time I see him...lol.
I need help BAD. I am involved with a cancer woman and yes she has made me crazy over the last year. She recently hurt me really bad and I was wondering do they feel any guilt? I do not feel like I should make contact. Do they ever make contact first?
Usually she was a very feeling giving person but I have always been the one to go to her during any dispute. I just feel at this point she needs to make ammends this time but unsure if she will. As for proving my feelings for her I know she is well aware of her security with that. Please respond.
VirgoGuy
Usually she was a very feeling giving person but I have always been the one to go to her during any dispute. I just feel at this point she needs to make ammends this time but unsure if she will. As for proving my feelings for her I know she is well aware of her security with that. Please respond.
VirgoGuy
Hey Saint999!
Welcome on the boards! I need some more input on this. How long you guys have not been talking to each other? Are you more than just friends?
At this point there is one suggestion i must give you. Appraoch her this time. She will come around. Virgos do have a way with cancers. Specially if the man is virgo and female cancer. But make sure to tell her that you will always listen to her and would love it if for a change she makes the first move after a tiff. Tell her you want her to make you real randy & the only way she can do is by pushing open the door to your heart forcibly- sometimes. She should be turned on!!! They love to be sweeped off their feet but sometimes can be beautifully aggressive too. Enourage both the faets of ther personality. It is worth it.
Cancer females are less defensive than the male of the same species. So dont go by what you read about the cancer male.
waiting to hear from you.
Looney Bird
Welcome on the boards! I need some more input on this. How long you guys have not been talking to each other? Are you more than just friends?
At this point there is one suggestion i must give you. Appraoch her this time. She will come around. Virgos do have a way with cancers. Specially if the man is virgo and female cancer. But make sure to tell her that you will always listen to her and would love it if for a change she makes the first move after a tiff. Tell her you want her to make you real randy & the only way she can do is by pushing open the door to your heart forcibly- sometimes. She should be turned on!!! They love to be sweeped off their feet but sometimes can be beautifully aggressive too. Enourage both the faets of ther personality. It is worth it.
Cancer females are less defensive than the male of the same species. So dont go by what you read about the cancer male.
waiting to hear from you.
Looney Bird
Hi Again Saint999
Maybe I sound like you should be making the first move to makeup- forever. No that is not the case. Afterall I donot know exactly what has gone between the two of you. What i am saying is that the cancer/virgo combi goes real well with male virgo & female cancer. I know 3 of such pairings. The Virgo male treats her like a perfect lady. But the virgo also shows the limit, if her crankiness affects him beyond a certian limit. And the cancer lady in her turn teaches the virgo how to be less critical & give a break to his heart for a moment. LOL
Maybe I sound like you should be making the first move to makeup- forever. No that is not the case. Afterall I donot know exactly what has gone between the two of you. What i am saying is that the cancer/virgo combi goes real well with male virgo & female cancer. I know 3 of such pairings. The Virgo male treats her like a perfect lady. But the virgo also shows the limit, if her crankiness affects him beyond a certian limit. And the cancer lady in her turn teaches the virgo how to be less critical & give a break to his heart for a moment. LOL
Hey LB,
We had been together through a tormenting year. She was indecisive concerning letting go of her past and ended up returning for who knows what as I have been told he is real negative towards her. It was at this point that we have remained in contact and some flirting but through all of the 7 or so flights of fear she took I always went to get her back. I do not feel I should do this this time but wanted to know if they are so stubborn they will cut off their own nose rather then break the silence.
We had been together through a tormenting year. She was indecisive concerning letting go of her past and ended up returning for who knows what as I have been told he is real negative towards her. It was at this point that we have remained in contact and some flirting but through all of the 7 or so flights of fear she took I always went to get her back. I do not feel I should do this this time but wanted to know if they are so stubborn they will cut off their own nose rather then break the silence.
LOL C-B sure you would like this one. Please sympathise with this guy.
Saint999!
Oh sorry to hear about this. From what I can see is that your cancer lady is still very much into her ex. Many Cancerians take a very long time to get over a relationship.They have such difficult time in letting go.(LOL how come I am such an exception😉)If a guy treats me bad, I jsut dont waste time to look back..specially if a virgo is in love with me? .....gosh never.
She found a good friend and therapist in you. And you are truly in love with her. Well, I wouldn't ask you to go after her. She will return, I guess. It is then that you clearly state your feelings for her. If she doesn't return, well - you move on.
Keep posting
Looney Bird
Saint999!
Oh sorry to hear about this. From what I can see is that your cancer lady is still very much into her ex. Many Cancerians take a very long time to get over a relationship.They have such difficult time in letting go.(LOL how come I am such an exception😉)If a guy treats me bad, I jsut dont waste time to look back..specially if a virgo is in love with me? .....gosh never.
She found a good friend and therapist in you. And you are truly in love with her. Well, I wouldn't ask you to go after her. She will return, I guess. It is then that you clearly state your feelings for her. If she doesn't return, well - you move on.
Keep posting
Looney Bird
errata!
The sentence
I jsut dont waste time to look back
should be read as
I just wont waste time in looking back
Looney Bird🙂
The sentence
I jsut dont waste time to look back
should be read as
I just wont waste time in looking back
Looney Bird🙂
Did this help you understand what to do next?
The chase dynamic in Cancer men and Virgo comes up again and again in real conversations. If this helped you understand the pattern, consider supporting dxpnet.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I am a cancer male -that fell in love with a virgo male. We broke up 2 months after a very intense, loving, yet he drove me crazy emotionally - was very confusing and selfish. Even though I would never revisit that relationship, I am hurting - He lost a g
It can work if both sides are respectful towards each other's sensitivities.
I just found this board in my desperate search during sleepless nights...
how can i tell if this cancer man i'm seeing is REALLY into me? i recently told him i loved him, he seemed happy about it but did not reciprocate. about a week later (new years eve!!) i saw him again socially but there were a lot of people and i talked to other guys and gals (i am very social, which he has said is one of the things which he was attracted to)... and the next time i saw him he was friendly but distant. after reading the cancer board, i'm afraid i've offended him mortally and that he won't ever feel about me now how i feel about him. i don't think i'm a typical virgo cuz my house is a mess plus i'm totally crazy about this guy! my first cancer!!!
i'm sorry to blab on but i'm at my wits end with him, why won't he tell me how he feels—— what should i do now—?? we are getting together tomorrow (a weekly occurance) during the day. i asked if he wanted to go out tonight (we do sometimes go see a movie) and he said he was too tired. first time he's turned me down. should i just play it cool and act like i don't care? should i apologize for being too friendly with others? should i ask him what's wrong? should i tell him to get stuffed? : ) thanks everyone
by the way, sorry for all you cancers out there screwed up by a virgo : (.