Sagittarius Woman and Cancer Man

I'm a sag woman born december 9th, and the cancer man I am after was born June 24th. Starting out things were great, he was all about me, wanted to spend lots of time with me -- then after three months he got promoted at his job and got worried he wouldn't have time for me, so we split up. Taking a step back though, we are pretty similar in nature, we are both very sensitive in comparison with other people, and both agreed that we did love one another. We got on very well with common interests, personalities and our fun loving nature. We had a lot of fun and I do not regret a second of it.

He told me he has been working 65 to 75 hours per week, which I do believe to a point and said that he thought I deserved better, and that he wouldn't have much time to spend with me. I understand that work takes top priority with cancers, so I told him that we would get through it, and I can live with that. He seemed okay with that at first, then kept mentioning it, as if he was trying to get me to break up with him.

After that, I was upset and only texted him a bit then left him alone. Two weeks later he's texting me asking how I am, telling me that he misses spending time with me and talking to me, so I took that as a potential advance on his part, then started texting him similiarily to what I was used to doing. After a few texts it was like he was "ignoring" me and not answering me, so I've since stopped.

I've decided that I'm not going to really answer his texts (if he even texts me) for 30 days, is this a good decision? I'm afraid to hurt his feelings, but also want to give him some "tough love" if you will, and also help myself decide if he is the right guy for me.

He's constantly told me that I didn't do anything wrong, and I was very good to him (which I was) and I agreed that he was the same to me. I just think that maybe he is not ready for something serious with me (as it did get pretty serious pretty quickly, which is in my nature not his). I know he does care because he is a sensitive soul, but I don't want to move on and then see him running back either.

I'm a bit perplexed so if anyone has any thoughts or ideas, please let me know. I would like him back into my life, as he's a wonderful person.

would you make do with the little amount of time he could offer to you? if any?

I felt that he was worth it and expressed that I would be able to deal with it.

Thing is I creeped on Facebook today and see that he seems to have plenty of time to see his god daughter, his friend's new baby, go out to eat and so on -- all within this past week.

Now I'm leaning towards him just not being interested in me or interested in a relationship with me.

Posted by belicimabambina
I felt that he was worth it and expressed that I would be able to deal with it.

Thing is I creeped on Facebook today and see that he seems to have plenty of time to see his god daughter, his friend's new baby, go out to eat and so on -- all within this past week.

Now I'm leaning towards him just not being interested in me or interested in a relationship with me.

omg, i think the exact same thing about this cancer i fancy. i thought exactly what you said. EXACTLY

I'm trying to not take it personally, as he did say I am a great person and so on. I think I'm just going to move on, or make a decent attempt to instead of wallowing in missing him and so on. Just sucks and I wish he would have just been more direct instead of caring so much about hurting my feelings and still leaving me with this "false hope" or what I think it false hope anyway. Time will tell I suppose.

does this promotion of his make a "social class difference" between the 2 of you?

Posted by belicimabambina
I'm trying to not take it personally, as he did say I am a great person and so on. I think I'm just going to move on, or make a decent attempt to instead of wallowing in missing him and so on. Just sucks and I wish he would have just been more direct instead of caring so much about hurting my feelings and still leaving me with this "false hope" or what I think it false hope anyway. Time will tell I suppose.

well, im taking it personally and i also see it as a sign of disinterest. theyre not very direct and thats the problem.

wow, you sound exactly like me; especially with the false hope thing and it does suck. I am a 11/25 Sag and he is a 6/25 Cancer.

im not big on waiting, ya know. and im definitely not big on wallowing.

No, no social class difference. We'd actually have similar careers, I am a catering manager and he is now a general manager of his family restaurant.

I make very good money for what I do, and he didn't seem bothered by that at all, yet refused to let me pay for anything, ever. He got a little upset that I bought his coffee once, but it was all smoothed over and he appreciated my gesture because it was my way of trying to thank him without giving him the opportunity to refuse. 🙂 Sneaky, I know.

And DMV, I am trying not to as they are just different creatures than us. Some cancers are players, but others can be complete sweethearts. I've had both sides of that coin. I do know, that this man is probably one the kindest people I have met and will meet in my life. I'm pretty sure he will be back, but if I accept him with open arms is more of what I'm concerned about...

Yeah, well, the OP's story is yet again proof of the Awful Cancers out there.

Thank God there aren't too many of them out there, but they do indeed exist.

The fact that he lied to her is pretty disturbing.

I am sorry, but it's total bullshit for him to pull the "I'm too busy" card on her and then take all these photos and FB stuff of him doing lots of stuff in his leisure time when he could easily INCLUDE her in the events.

That's the thing about some of the awful ones. They do not think to do things TOGETHER with a potential interest, but would rather do their own thing and abandon a potential future with someone instead.

Unfortunately, OP, he has abandoned you like some old shoe or something.

If I were you, I would avoid him altogether. Even if you were to somehow rekindle things, you would be putting yourself in a position where he will abandon you at random all over again, and that is not something you want to deal with I assure you.

right. i am as well confused how to handle him when IF he comes back to normal. Like you, im getting crumbs and i dont want that. My worry is that he will do it again and again. do i bitch, have a grown up convo, or just say the hell with it. my interest is already waning.

right again. i dont know if i have a kind cancer or a player cancer.

it does feel like unfinished business.

question, did yours start acting funny right after your date?

Unfortunately, OP, he has abandoned you like some old shoe or something.

If I were you, I would avoid him altogether. Even if you were to somehow rekindle things, you would be putting yourself in a position where he will abandon you at random all over again, and that is not something you want to deal with I assure you

un huh. like an old shoe is right! im proceeding with extreme caution.

Thank you CluelessCancer.

Funny thing is when we chatted two weeks after it happened, I asked him if he talked with any of his friends about it to help him out (he was in a sad mood) and he said that he didn't. I asked him why and he said he wanted to keep quiet about the whole thing. Then I was a bit confused and asked him again (finally got an answer) and he said because they would probably say I "made a big mistake and screwed up." Touche my dear, exactly what I would tell him if I was a close friend of his, but I did not mention that as he was already hurting.

What should I say if we regain contact after the 30 days? My thoughts are to tell him that I apologize for not talking to him, but say that I needed to take some time for myself, which is an honest statement.

And I completely agree. I am more inclined to tell him that I was "too busy" to answer his texts or calls, but I'm trying not to be vindictive. 🙂

do you have water in your chart Bel?

Posted by Scorsagian21

Posted by DMV

Posted by belicimabambina
I'm trying to not take it personally, as he did say I am a great person and so on. I think I'm just going to move on, or make a decent attempt to instead of wallowing in missing him and so on. Just sucks and I wish he would have just been more direct instead of caring so much about hurting my feelings and still leaving me with this "false hope" or what I think it false hope anyway. Time will tell I suppose.

well, im taking it personally and i also see it as a sign of disinterest. theyre not very direct and thats the problem.

wow, you sound exactly like me; especially with the false hope thing and it does suck. I am a 11/25 Sag and he is a 6/25 Cancer.

im not big on waiting, ya know. and im definitely not big on wallowing.

Wow...My ex hubby 06/25 too! and your right they are not direct at all! That's what i hated about him the most.

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i get the whole watery indirect feel my moods thing, but i can definitely relate to the OP. and ive just known this Cancer for less than 2 months. i cant imagine after 3 months of official dating how i would feel.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by ScorpioFish
Yeah, well, the OP's story is yet again proof of the Awful Cancers out there.

Thank God there aren't too many of them out there, but they do indeed exist.

The fact that he lied to her is pretty disturbing.

I am sorry, but it's total bullshit for him to pull the "I'm too busy" card on her and then take all these photos and FB stuff of him doing lots of stuff in his leisure time when he could easily INCLUDE her in the events.

That's the thing about some of the awful ones. They do not think to do things TOGETHER with a potential interest, but would rather do their own thing and abandon a potential future with someone instead.

Unfortunately, OP, he has abandoned you like some old shoe or something.

If I were you, I would avoid him altogether. Even if you were to somehow rekindle things, you would be putting yourself in a position where he will abandon you at random all over again, and that is not something you want to deal with I assure you.

STFU! jesus christ. He's just acting like a dude not totally into her, maybe cause she went to 100% while he still at 40% .

he's no different then many other males so STFU with your anti Crab rhetoric.

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Will you please calm down?

Cancer girls are still my favorite sign in the zodiac, as I have said repeatedly throughout my time here on the site.

Even you have to admit there are some atrocious people within your shelled ranks, as was the case when you said this guy is an idiot.

Stop confusing my statement as a generalized "bashing" of all Cancers, and try to acknowledge that it's true that some (NOTE I DID NOT SAY ALL) Cancers are truly awful people totally destined for loneliness due to their destructive behavior.

Go back to my original statement, and read it again please.

And take two chill pills with a glass of water before you kill someone.

OP, you don't need to say or do shit with this guy.

He made clear to you that he is "too busy" to see you, so you need to get on with your life.

Go out with your girlfriends and get some phone numbers this week and weekend.

Do NOT limit yourself to this guy, as it will emotionally torture you for some time to come.

If he contacts you, then go from there.

But do NOT initiate contact with him after he basically threw you out of his life like some piece of trash.

i'd ask him...upfront...polite...

i wouldn't play games, for my own comfort....

but, sincerely, i think he lost interest....this usually happens when people rush into relationships. sorry to say that...

good luck

Posted by Scorsagian21
With cancer males especially the sweet ones, since i had a softie. You have to be up front and honest but not brutally honest since you might hurt their feelings. They like you to be upfront with them, they appreciate it because they lack it. You have to do it to get them out of their shell.

Im not good at guessing what someone is thinking so i ask straight out. I dont care if i look dumb or maybe even rejected. I'll have peace of mind once i say what's on my mind.

yes your right. Ive continually put myself out there and dropped hints about, "wish you were here", so forth and so forth. Or i will bring up something not superficial about us and he will answer it with NO talk about his feelings, no talk about us, some BS generic answer.

i tell you what, my texting back to him is about as dry as can be.

The male cancers were telling me that in his mind he feels like were together and he's courting me and he will be torn apart if he sees me with another guy. well dummy, the only way to prevent your self fulling prophecy would be to BE that guy on my arm, that way you dont have to worry about another guy.

this is logical

my heart goes out to you OP. you did nothing wrong but try to love someone.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Scorsagian21
With cancer males especially the sweet ones, since i had a softie. You have to be up front and honest but not brutally honest since you might hurt their feelings. They like you to be upfront with them, they appreciate it because they lack it. You have to do it to get them out of their shell.

Im not good at guessing what someone is thinking so i ask straight out. I dont care if i look dumb or maybe even rejected. I'll have peace of mind once i say what's on my mind.

yes your right. Ive continually put myself out there and dropped hints about, "wish you were here", so forth and so forth. Or i will bring up something not superficial about us and he will answer it with NO talk about his feelings, no talk about us, some BS generic answer.

i tell you what, my texting back to him is about as dry as can be.

The male cancers were telling me that in his mind he feels like were together and he's courting me and he will be torn apart if he sees me with another guy. well dummy, the only way to prevent your self fulling prophecy would be to BE that guy on my arm, that way you dont have to worry about another guy.

this is logical

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What is up with some of these (NOTE I DID NOT SAY ALL) dumbass Cancers out there who voluntarily choose to discard a decent human being like they are trash, then they have the damn audacity to get upset if the "trashed person" decides to get to know other people and have some fun with their lives?

The fucking nerve of some of these awful Cancers is simply outrageous unto itself.

Posted by DMV
my heart goes out to you OP. you did nothing wrong but try to love someone.

Damn right she did nothing wrong.

The guy is an idiot, and he has blown it big time with her.

He is probably an ego maniac and most likely has mental issues.

The fact that he lied to her and discarded her like this is revolting and shameful.

If that ass contacts her, he should certainly apologize and do something to fix things and make them right.

awful is a strong. I say a bit delusional on their expectations regarding others actions considering their actions toward the other person.

Thanks for all your input everyone.

I was joking with the last bit about being vindictive and saying "I'm too busy". It would be a stupid classless remark just to take a stab at him like that. I will admit I am still somewhat hurt though, just trying to move forward though.

I'm not really sure what you mean about your last statement of, "it's not guaranteed things will change especially if you keep doing the same things." Can you please clarify on what these "same things" are?

And no, I'm not a cling on. I do have water tendencies to cling on when I really like someone, but they are not about my entire being (if that makes sense) -- that never results in a successful relationship either.

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by DMV
my heart goes out to you OP. you did nothing wrong but try to love someone.

Damn right she did nothing wrong.

The guy is an idiot, and he has blown it big time with her.



If that ass contacts her, he should certainly apologize and do something to fix things and make them right.

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i agree 100%

And thanks, I know I did nothing wrong -- I suppose these things just kind of happen. Thanks again.

what did he lie about?

Posted by DMV
what did he lie about?

"Being busy"

That is always a LIE.

Fucker could have easily worked an hour into his week to have a drink with her and talk.

"I'm busy" is the biggest lie perpetuated by a man or woman.

Not even the astronauts are too "busy" to have time for a woman.

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by DMV
what did he lie about?

"Being busy"

That is always a LIE.

Fucker could have easily worked an hour into his week to have a drink with her and talk.

"I'm busy" is the biggest lie perpetuated by a man or woman.

Not even the astronauts are too "busy" to have time for a woman.

click to expand

i agree

good point Scors. I will be more direct than i have been. I just hate playing the "man" when it comes to these matters.

Thanks everyone. I will do the whole no contact thing, and then see where it goes from there. I really appreciate the advice.

I'm not an astronaut,

I know. You are hardly even the guy who delivers the nuts and bolts to the crawler maintenance office. Please continue, wise one.

and I don't have time for women,

Most queers don't.

because I'm a man with many ambitions and responsibilities.

Yeah, sure, 007. I have seen over 40 countries, served in the military for 14 years, survived several near death experiences, been decorated a few times, learned 2 additional languages, earned a Master's Degree, have to teach and support over 40 students ALONE this semester...

And I still make time for the ladies.

What's your excuse, chickenshit?

Are you saying that if you were the busiest person on earth, you wouldn't have time for your god daughter ?

What a stupid question. Next.

You have a skewed idea of cancer men.

Wrong. I have a firm belief system in place based on a litany of experiences. What do you have besides your diapers and snot, kid?

Actually, you have a sinister and fucked up one,



That's rich, coming from the limp-dick who doesn't know how to properly manage his time and schedules to include the finer things in life such as a beautiful woman. Please, go on.

because somehow you think that would fool some poor cancer woman into loving you back.

I don't have to fool anyone. I have been quite appreciated by many women over the years, and the best is yet to come.

Reality is, family is absolutely critical to us, cancer men and women.

No shit? Really, Captain Obvious. Are you sure about that?

Seriously, ScorpioFish, understand that hating us does not effect us or fool anyone.

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You are so fucking stupid I am surprised those stubby digits of yours can provide the words...

I don't HATE Cancers in general you stupid fucking toolbox. I have said MULTITUDES of times that there are indeed some horrific Cancers out there, and it makes those of us trying to court and spend time with one confused because the awful ones often masquerade like the good ones. If you cannot handle the fucking truth of the matter, then maybe you should go stick your head into a fucking toilet until you figure it the fuck out.

Dude, I think that's the longest post I've ever seen by you since you joined, lol.
(The one to Scorpiofish)

I noticed the thing towards Cancer men as well.
I thought maybe I was the only one noticing the brownie point thing.

It doesn't inspire us to be good or bad. It just shows us what we really don't want to be.

Yeah, sure. You are defending the indefuckingfensible as usual. Please, go on. I can feed you some more rope to hang yourself with if you cannot carry it yourself.

Hateful,

Wrong again, dickhead. I have said time and time again. Some people don't like me, but that's cool because I don't like some people.

Single,

Nope. I am actually seeing several girls right now, and trying to figure out which one to devote myself to. The girls whom I speak to with regularity on DXP can vouch for me if you would like to consult them.

36 year old men

Hey shithead, at least I have the balls to be honest about my age. How old is a worthless lowlife sack of shit like you?

Pay attention. LunarMaiden said many posts ago that she really likes that cancer men are the most assertive.

Well, good for her! You want a cookie because you were born as a Cancer? God, what a fucking thin-skinned little crybaby bitch and disgrace to the decent Cancers around here you fucking are.

You are the one pissing your pants about how to talk to a Cancer girl you know, when I would have asked her to come for a ride on my bike sometime by now. Do you even know how to ride a motorcycle? No, your mother's beach cruiser does not count, so don't bother asking.

You know what does that mean ? That you will not get any brownie points being a cheesy little bitch. If you insist on learning something about cancer women, learn that. Stop being a pussy. Stop being hateful to protect your inner pussy. Grow up and grow some balls.

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Hahahaha, that is so fucking rich coming from the queen of the pussies.

Jive on, shit for brains. Jive on.

Too bad we can't step outside and solve this problem in real life. I may be 36, but I can confidently say I would kick your ass into next week. ....And you would look really funny with your own hand stuffed into your asshole after it's over.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Dude, I think that's the longest post I've ever seen by you since you joined, lol.
(The one to Scorpiofish)

I noticed the thing towards Cancer men as well.
I thought maybe I was the only one noticing the brownie point thing.

Throwing your sentiments over to J9?

Thanks for showing your true colors.

most assertive? as compared to what?

Posted CancerOnTheCusp
Dude, I think that's the longest post I've ever seen by you since you joined, lol.
(The one to Scorpiofish)

I noticed the thing towards Cancer men as well.
I thought maybe I was the only one noticing the brownie point thing.

Since I joined, actually.

@Scorpiofish
Come on man. That's the second time you have made a physical threat at someone on this board.
Why? I understand if you're irritated, but threats make you look weak (and Im not talking about physically).

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted CancerOnTheCusp
Dude, I think that's the longest post I've ever seen by you since you joined, lol.
(The one to Scorpiofish)

I noticed the thing towards Cancer men as well.
I thought maybe I was the only one noticing the brownie point thing.

Since I joined, actually.

@Scorpiofish
Come on man. That's the second time you have made a physical threat at someone on this board.
Why? I understand if you're irritated, but threats make you look weak (and Im not talking about physically).

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Your fucking idiot friend needs to learn to watch his fucking mouth around here.

I didn't start the shit, but I will fucking finish it.

And yes, your chickenshit friend would look really fucking funny with his own hand stuffed into his asshole if he had the fucking balls to talk like that to my face.

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Dude, I think that's the longest post I've ever seen by you since you joined, lol.
(The one to Scorpiofish)

I noticed the thing towards Cancer men as well.
I thought maybe I was the only one noticing the brownie point thing.

Throwing your sentiments over to J9?

Thanks for showing your true colors.

click to expand

I'm being honest.
I noticed the snark. Maybe it wasn't intended that way, but that's is the way it came off.
This isn't about "taking sides'. Go back and objectively look at some of your posts

Posted by J9

Posted by DMV
most assertive? as compared to what?

She was comparing us to the other water signs.

+ I don't think we are the most assertive. It's probably Scorpio > Cancer > Pisces. Just like everything else, I suppose.

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I concur

Finally thought was only me that noticed that scorpiofish was a bitch,lol. Seriously dude everywhere you go a person not even on ur dick and u wanna jump on theirs,lol. You take things waaaaaaay too serious!even the post i did with optimus prime.jesus christ.lol. Anyways back to the post though sag lady if he aint got the time for you let him go, he may come back. But saggis are by the most part very sweet on cancers.

Wow CluelessCancer, you smart as hell lol. Majoring in Math with degrees in it!, you gotta be a genius to do all that great stuff. Your IQ must be 30000 lol. You have my respect 🙂. Besides you don't have to explain anything to no one. especially your personal life. remember what you told me, haters gonna hate 😉

That's why we rule the world. One day at a time

@belicimabambina IF your Cancer really cared for you, trust me you wouldn't be here questioning his mannerisms. If he truly loved you, he'll make the effort to make time for you & be in your life. You wouldn't have to question anything. Plus if a Crab loves you hun, he won't let go at all. His claws will stay around you lol. This guy just can't offer that, so why force it. It's not real compatibility, if you gotta alter who you are as a person, & forcing the attraction. So don't blame yourself for his mistakes ok. Cheer up, your Saggi 🙂

Well @J9 you are one of the awesome Crabs i ever met lol. You & CluelessCancer 🙂. All us Cancers are amazing. Such smart, mesmerising, unique individuals we are huh. Sorry about the confusion. #CancersRule! I love my sign, not the disease lol

Posted by CluelessCancer
Damn J9 is looking very hot to me right now.

Yeah. Amazing. 🙂

Posted by J9
You know, I don't actually hate ScorpioFish. I strongly dislike him, but hate ? No.

You know what I hate about ScorpioFish though ?


That he takes forever to respond. He takes time to stop crying and gather the courage and hope to start thinking about how to respond and then takes more time to think of a strategy or assault/come-back and then he responds something useless and dumb.

Such an unworthy adversary. I've got shit to do, man. Work on it. It means your life, of course.

Lol so that loser is still lurking around.