Andalusia
@Andalusia
11 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 372 · Posts: 6468 · Topics: 165
Was I.. friend zoned? by this Cancer?
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LOL, MAH WEE FOXYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Posted by KoniuchaIdk.. probably.
Hmm, he probably had no intention of saying anything to you about fading away, it's just you brought it up.
It's just.. weird. Last Friday he was all "has anyone told you you're beautiful today?" This Friday he "sees me as a buddy".
At least he was honest about it. I'd take him at his word. He's not feeling the chemistry and he wants that, so he's put you on fade. It's up to you if you want to remain in contact knowing this or if you want to part ways. One month isn't a long time to be dating so there's not much invested by either of you. It's life, and not everyone is a match with everyone else.
Posted by febyFunny you mention that. He has a Libra moon, I believe 😆
I would move on and just be nice to him for the sake of work and that's it. Sounds too fency, even for me.
Posted by MoonArtistTrue. And I appreciate his honesty. Just sucks (basically) being told "I'm not attracted to you." :/
At least he was honest about it. I'd take him at his word. He's not feeling the chemistry and he wants that, so he's put you on fade. It's up to you if you want to remain in contact knowing this or if you want to part ways. One month isn't a long time to be dating so there's not much invested by either of you. It's life, and not everyone is a match with everyone else.
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
Posted by DamnataLol, I suppose I'll have to try! 🙂
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
Posted by AndalusiaIt's not even in terms of how things will work out. It's ...empowering if it makes sense.Posted by DamnataLol, I suppose I'll have to try! 🙂
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
click to expand
Or at least a man with Aries placements.
Enough with water suns or moons for a while.
But really...*hugs you*.
Posted by DamnataIf Aries won't friend zone me, I'd love to find one. I'm tired of being friend zoned!Posted by AndalusiaIt's not even in terms of how things will work out. It's ...empowering if it makes sense.Posted by DamnataLol, I suppose I'll have to try! 🙂
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
Or at least a man with Aries placements.
Enough with water suns or moons for a while.
But really...*hugs you*.click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaYeah I am like that too, lol.Posted by DamnataI know a guy with Aries Mars, Pisces sun.Posted by AndalusiaIt's not even in terms of how things will work out. It's ...empowering if it makes sense.Posted by DamnataLol, I suppose I'll have to try! 🙂
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
Or at least a man with Aries placements.
Enough with water suns or moons for a while.
But really...*hugs you*.
He can overwhelm me sometimes and then asks if he offended me. But I will say 100% , that I prefer that over this passiveness.click to expand
Posted by AndalusiaThey always fade away. Insecurities. He was probably scared and nervous and you said what you were feeling so he obliged. He also probably never meant anything he said after the moment he said it. Flaky little creatures.
Been seeing this Cancer guy for about a month or so. We work together and he ended a long term relationship about 7 months ago, so we both wanted to take it slow and keep it out of the office water cooler gossip, so to speak.
He's very attentive, complimentary, and candid. Initiates communication 75% of the time, picks me up, opens doors, etc. He told me a little bit about his previous relationship and is forthcoming with self disclosure because i'm 'gorgeous, poised, intelligent and funny, class A material' and he 'wanted nothing but transparency between us'.
We had plans to attend several events this weekend. I work a lot so I specifically requested off to spend the weekend with him. We are texting Thursday night while im out of town about the event on Friday and he says he's on the fence about going, but that he will let me know before he goes to bed. He texts me the next morning (he's at work, I'm still out of town) that he's "out for tonight". Meaning he's not going.
I say okay, and then start trying to firm up details for the other plans we had made. He is being kinda squirrelly with his answers, so I finally say:
"I could be over thinking, but this kinda feels like the beginning of a slow fade."
Him: "Sort of, yeah. It's odd, but I'm seeing you more and more as a buddy rather than a romantic flame. As cliche as that sounds."
I didn't respond, so he follows it up a couple minutes later with, "Didn't really mean to do this over text."
I again didn't respond, because... what am I gonna say to that? So he texts me several times later that night (paraphrasing because I deleted them):
"I really wasn't trying to being malicious or ill intentioned. I'm just trying to find the life I want."
Then:
"You've inspired me to start writing again. I hope you know how much that means to me."
Wtf?
I dont know any cancer men that are not in a relationship with a woman that constitantly has to reassure them.
Posted by febyLibra moons don't seem that bad!Posted by AndalusiaRun!Posted by febyFunny you mention that. He has a Libra moon, I believe 😆
I would move on and just be nice to him for the sake of work and that's it. Sounds too fency, even for me.click to expand
Posted by ScorpioStarGazerI read your thread.. it also took this guy 4-5 dates to kiss me. And the brush off text came about 4-5 days we slept together for the first (and second, third) time.
At least you weren't face to face with him, asked him for a kiss and THEN he went into the whole friendship speech with you. Oh the horror! That's what happened with me and mister crab guy. I'm still to this day mortified about misreading the signals I imagined he was sending me.
I agree though....be thankful he was honest with you. So many people aren't these days. •
Posted by julietteLeft like what?
i remember when my libra guy friend was left liked this he was never the same. though we were very young, but i think it messed up with his ego for good.
Posted by ScorpioStarGazer^^This. He was honest with you and the spark is not there for him, anymore. You just haven't accepted it. I know it hurts because I've had it happen before.
At least you weren't face to face with him, asked him for a kiss and THEN he went into the whole friendship speech with you. Oh the horror! That's what happened with me and mister crab guy. I'm still to this day mortified about misreading the signals I imagined he was sending me.
I agree though....be thankful he was honest with you. So many people aren't these days. •
*Hugs to ScorpioStarGazer*
Posted by AndalusiaIt does suck, but haven't you ever had someone you weren't attracted to who wanted more from you than friendship? I have and I hate being made to feel like I'm obligated to reciprocate.Posted by MoonArtistTrue. And I appreciate his honesty. Just sucks (basically) being told "I'm not attracted to you." :/
At least he was honest about it. I'd take him at his word. He's not feeling the chemistry and he wants that, so he's put you on fade. It's up to you if you want to remain in contact knowing this or if you want to part ways. One month isn't a long time to be dating so there's not much invested by either of you. It's life, and not everyone is a match with everyone else.click to expand
Posted by MoonArtistNo, I have, but I've never dated or been intimate with them.Posted by AndalusiaIt does suck, but haven't you ever had someone you weren't attracted to who wanted more from you than friendship? I have and I hate being made to feel like I'm obligated to reciprocate.Posted by MoonArtistTrue. And I appreciate his honesty. Just sucks (basically) being told "I'm not attracted to you." :/
At least he was honest about it. I'd take him at his word. He's not feeling the chemistry and he wants that, so he's put you on fade. It's up to you if you want to remain in contact knowing this or if you want to part ways. One month isn't a long time to be dating so there's not much invested by either of you. It's life, and not everyone is a match with everyone else.click to expand
Regardless, I appreciate his honesty and your insight.
another tally mark for "cancer guys that left me"
Lol @ he was honest.
Honestly? He wanted sex and that was about it. You can tell by how he wooed you.
He would have faded away without a word if you hadn't confronted him.
The "you inspired me" speech was to soften the blow, its like adding insult to injury if you think about it.
Honestly? He wanted sex and that was about it. You can tell by how he wooed you.
He would have faded away without a word if you hadn't confronted him.
The "you inspired me" speech was to soften the blow, its like adding insult to injury if you think about it.
Posted by Andalusiai think that is the key. not dating or being intimate if you are not into them. what he did was not being honest, but leading you on till the point of being intimate. maybe he did not mean to lead you on, but he did, if 4-5 days later his feelings have changed. why can't people show some commitment these daysPosted by MoonArtistNo, I have, but I've never dated or been intimate with them.Posted by AndalusiaIt does suck, but haven't you ever had someone you weren't attracted to who wanted more from you than friendship? I have and I hate being made to feel like I'm obligated to reciprocate.Posted by MoonArtistTrue. And I appreciate his honesty. Just sucks (basically) being told "I'm not attracted to you." :/
At least he was honest about it. I'd take him at his word. He's not feeling the chemistry and he wants that, so he's put you on fade. It's up to you if you want to remain in contact knowing this or if you want to part ways. One month isn't a long time to be dating so there's not much invested by either of you. It's life, and not everyone is a match with everyone else.
Regardless, I appreciate his honesty and your insight.click to expand
Posted by Andalusiai don't know if it is a virgo thing though. people find virgos nice so maybe there is nothing to chase for them? btw i am a virgo too. it's like do you have to be unavailable and not care for someone to have to pursue you?Posted by DamnataIf Aries won't friend zone me, I'd love to find one. I'm tired of being friend zoned!Posted by AndalusiaIt's not even in terms of how things will work out. It's ...empowering if it makes sense.Posted by DamnataLol, I suppose I'll have to try! 🙂
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
Or at least a man with Aries placements.
Enough with water suns or moons for a while.
But really...*hugs you*.click to expand
I'm curious about the follow up texts hours later, especially since I didn't ask for additional info or an explanation or anything. Just do it and be done with it. seems like over kill if you ask me.
3 f's
Cancer men want to seem like nice guys. He probably wants you to be ok and no cause drama at work. He will try very hard to be your friend now. Probably keep watching you when he thinks your not looking. Let us know how it goes down at work.
Posted by SensitiveBluesYour point?
You slept with a man only after a month of dating him?
I find it bizarre that he would even say something like "I want nothing but transparency between us" - I'm gonna go ahead and say that's his Libra moon, probably very much liking the idea of open, transparency. Not sure if this is true of all Libra (moons), but a lot of the ones I've known have really been all about "the idea" of something. Back to the topic... 95% of the Cancers I've known have been super wishy-washy energetically. Like they just don't know what they friggin want, or if they do, they do not know how to just own it. So unfortunately, it doesn't surprise me that he acted that way... It sounds like he had a lot of the great Cancerian qualities, when things were going well, but with a Cancer/Libra moon, you're probably going to find yourself really frustrated if you want an answer. They seem like people who come and go with the tide, and take a little while to learn what they want... and then it takes a little longer for them to be able to verbalize it...
Also LOL at the "you've inspired me to write again" bullshit. That is a classic Libra-influenced line if I ever heard one. My Libra ex was ALL ABOUT that shit. Like "oh last night i stayed up and wrote this poem about you by candlelight." jesus
Posted by GobshiteWhich advice?
To be brutally honest, I have zero sympathy for you.
Not only do you have problems heeding advice from others, you also completely ignored (or at least refused to take on board) the slew of threads pertaining to Cancer men and their douchebag behaviour.
After being a dxper for so long, you should have known better. So, stop moaning about the state of your bed and just lie in it.
Posted by Andalusia
I'm tired of being friend zoned!
With men being far less fickle than women, maybe you're doing something wrong that makes them reconsider. Think about it.click to expand
Posted by Gobshite? Okay?Posted by AndalusiaPosted by GobshiteWhich advice?
To be brutally honest, I have zero sympathy for you.
Not only do you have problems heeding advice from others, you also completely ignored (or at least refused to take on board) the slew of threads pertaining to Cancer men and their douchebag behaviour.
After being a dxper for so long, you should have known better. So, stop moaning about the state of your bed and just lie in it.
Posted by Andalusia
I'm tired of being friend zoned!
With men being far less fickle than women, maybe you're doing something wrong that makes them reconsider. Think about it.
Since joining dxp. Take your pick.
click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaAhh, gotcha. Yes, that makes sense.Posted by AndalusiaI imagine he is referring to the countless stories on here regarding this type of guyPosted by GobshiteWhich advice?
To be brutally honest, I have zero sympathy for you.
Not only do you have problems heeding advice from others, you also completely ignored (or at least refused to take on board) the slew of threads pertaining to Cancer men and their douchebag behaviour.
After being a dxper for so long, you should have known better. So, stop moaning about the state of your bed and just lie in it.
Posted by Andalusia
I'm tired of being friend zoned!
With men being far less fickle than women, maybe you're doing something wrong that makes them reconsider. Think about it.click to expand
Posted by puhleezeDating for a month isn't really anything to make a commitment over, and being intimate in a month of dating is playing Russian roulette because there's not enough time to know if it's going to be a long term thing or not. That's not to say people can't or shouldn't have sex that soon, just that sex and a month of dating has zero bearing on whether or not there's going to be a long term relationship. Maybe the sex wasn't as in the moment/emotion/passion as he's looking for, or maybe he was leading her on and just trying to get in her pants....either way, it doesn't matter because the end result is the same: he's moving on. That's just how it is in the dating world....lots of misses, and sometimes you find the catch of a lifetime.Posted by Andalusiai think that is the key. not dating or being intimate if you are not into them. what he did was not being honest, but leading you on till the point of being intimate. maybe he did not mean to lead you on, but he did, if 4-5 days later his feelings have changed. why can't people show some commitment these daysPosted by MoonArtistNo, I have, but I've never dated or been intimate with them.Posted by AndalusiaIt does suck, but haven't you ever had someone you weren't attracted to who wanted more from you than friendship? I have and I hate being made to feel like I'm obligated to reciprocate.Posted by MoonArtistTrue. And I appreciate his honesty. Just sucks (basically) being told "I'm not attracted to you." :/
At least he was honest about it. I'd take him at his word. He's not feeling the chemistry and he wants that, so he's put you on fade. It's up to you if you want to remain in contact knowing this or if you want to part ways. One month isn't a long time to be dating so there's not much invested by either of you. It's life, and not everyone is a match with everyone else.
Regardless, I appreciate his honesty and your insight.click to expand
Posted by Damnatahow do you find an aries anyways? do you go to the aries dealership and be like i want to try out this model? do you get free movie tickets for doing so?
Pls just go and find an Aries and trust me on this for once.
Perhaps you should do the opposite and see his reaction. By this, I mean bring the flirtatious element back at play without even bringing up the whole "I lost the spark" friends situation. Compliment him. Or ask him out. One poster made a point he was reacting this way because the OP brought it up to begin with. I know this isn't sound advice, but I don't think it's really been done before.
Cancer men are an interesting species. But I also think this guy is doesn't know what he wants.
Cancer men are an interesting species. But I also think this guy is doesn't know what he wants.
@Arielle83
Since you are a Cancer sun Libra moon, I believe.
Since you are a Cancer sun Libra moon, I believe.
I hate men who sleep with woman and fade out, after. This guy is trying to do it nicely. I want her to take her power back.
Posted by Nevermorefor a week until she squirted across the room then he got scared. he thought he broke the pipes.
Wait.. did she got sex before this shit happens??
Posted by Arielle83You didn't do anything.Posted by NevermoreWhy was I tagged in this thread?Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreHuh I'm not even in this thread!!Posted by AriesIntrovert16
@Arielle83
Since you are a Cancer sun Libra moon, I believe.
She's to brutal for this.
What da hell am I meant to have done!!
I meant your placement. You're waay to brutal & not that wishy-washy at all. Perhaps a wishy-washy of drugs & alcohol, but you know your norms.
Drugs and alcohol??
What the hell.
Are you two high cuz I'm not?
click to expand
I posted a [slightly whiny, tbh] thread about a guy I was seeing that I guess has your placements. I think they tagged you for your perspective?
😕
Posted by NevermoreIdk if it was friend zoned or not.Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreBut drugs and alcohol—Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreWhy was I tagged in this thread?Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreHuh I'm not even in this thread!!Posted by AriesIntrovert16
@Arielle83
Since you are a Cancer sun Libra moon, I believe.
She's to brutal for this.
What da hell am I meant to have done!!
I meant your placement. You're waay to brutal & not that wishy-washy at all. Perhaps a wishy-washy of drugs & alcohol, but you know your norms.
Drugs and alcohol??
What the hell.
Are you two high cuz I'm not?
Don't ask me, ask her!! 😛
I only told her that you're just to brutal for this & though of explaining to you that perhaps you didn't understand.
I'm too busy working all the time!!
However, i did go out partying a few times in the last month, but that's cuz I was hypomanic and being a hermit gets boring.
I don't even know what this thread is about.
It's about OP got friendzoned by Cancer male with Libra moon. And the rest I'm to lazy to explains since I'm jumping onward to other threats.click to expand
Posted by Andalusiacancer zonePosted by NevermoreIdk if it was friend zoned or not.Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreBut drugs and alcohol—Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreWhy was I tagged in this thread?Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreHuh I'm not even in this thread!!Posted by AriesIntrovert16
@Arielle83
Since you are a Cancer sun Libra moon, I believe.
She's to brutal for this.
What da hell am I meant to have done!!
I meant your placement. You're waay to brutal & not that wishy-washy at all. Perhaps a wishy-washy of drugs & alcohol, but you know your norms.
Drugs and alcohol??
What the hell.
Are you two high cuz I'm not?
Don't ask me, ask her!! 😛
I only told her that you're just to brutal for this & though of explaining to you that perhaps you didn't understand.
I'm too busy working all the time!!
However, i did go out partying a few times in the last month, but that's cuz I was hypomanic and being a hermit gets boring.
I don't even know what this thread is about.
It's about OP got friendzoned by Cancer male with Libra moon. And the rest I'm to lazy to explains since I'm jumping onward to other threats.click to expand
Posted by NevermoreThis did not happen. Housecleaning is teasing.Posted by HouseCleaningPosted by Nevermorefor a week until she squirted across the room then he got scared. he thought he broke the pipes.
Wait.. did she got sex before this shit happens??
I was to slow with this updated.click to expand
Posted by HouseCleaningHIIIIIGHWAY TOOOO THEPosted by Andalusiacancer zonePosted by NevermoreIdk if it was friend zoned or not.Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreBut drugs and alcohol—Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreWhy was I tagged in this thread?Posted by Arielle83Posted by NevermoreHuh I'm not even in this thread!!Posted by AriesIntrovert16
@Arielle83
Since you are a Cancer sun Libra moon, I believe.
She's to brutal for this.
What da hell am I meant to have done!!
I meant your placement. You're waay to brutal & not that wishy-washy at all. Perhaps a wishy-washy of drugs & alcohol, but you know your norms.
Drugs and alcohol??
What the hell.
Are you two high cuz I'm not?
Don't ask me, ask her!! 😛
I only told her that you're just to brutal for this & though of explaining to you that perhaps you didn't understand.
I'm too busy working all the time!!
However, i did go out partying a few times in the last month, but that's cuz I was hypomanic and being a hermit gets boring.
I don't even know what this thread is about.
It's about OP got friendzoned by Cancer male with Libra moon. And the rest I'm to lazy to explains since I'm jumping onward to other threats.click to expand
CANCER ZONE!!
-Kenny Logans
Posted by Andalusiai'm going to housecleaning zone youPosted by NevermoreThis did not happen. Housecleaning is teasing.Posted by HouseCleaningPosted by Nevermorefor a week until she squirted across the room then he got scared. he thought he broke the pipes.
Wait.. did she got sex before this shit happens??
I was to slow with this updated.click to expand
He's been ignoring my emails (work related of course) all day. Hopefully this will stop soon. Other wise, damn. This is gonna be a bumpy ride.
Yep. Definitely avoiding me. Just past him in the hall. I smiled. He refused to make eye contact and abruptly turned the other way.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Posted by cheekyfaerieright, what is there to win him back for. OP should be mad at his actions and ignore him and avoid looking at him even if he is right in front. let him know you can't even bear to see him. even if it was just a month and too early, i think it was also too early to decide that it is not working esp. if you have been intimate. there should be some effort made for that sake at least. why in the name of dating people think it is cool to get close and not commit and also be free to date other people?
Ugh. This is kinda how things ended with the Taurus and I. I called him out and he told the truth, but only cause I brought it up. He'd have slow faded me even more if I hadn't. In my case, I'm almost positive he was still hung up on an ex. Maybe yours is too. Regardless, I disagree with the "try to win him back by being flirtatious" angle. Consider your win that you didn't waste any more time on him.
Posted by AndalusiaOP why should you feel like giving him a smile? if anything don't bother even returning his smile if he smiles. he said no to you, you should be the one feeling mad.. keep your head high and walk like he does not exist.
Yep. Definitely avoiding me. Just past him in the hall. I smiled. He refused to make eye contact and abruptly turned the other way.
Ouch.
Posted by KoniuchaBecause douchebaggery runs rampant in today's world and even the littlest honesty has become rare, so rare that it deserves praise.Posted by thinktoomuchHe did not. He only said something because she brought it up. After having sex.
I think we should all take a moment here and say: what the fuq??!!!! A (cancer) guy that just told her straight up right away.
Yes it sucked, that it was over text, but would be weird to get together with you just to end it too perhaps.
I think this is a happy situation yes?! You got to keep your pride and can live on as a happy, free woman 🙂
Why is this guy being given so much credit for 'being so honest'?click to expand
Posted by Cuddlemonster666Hilarious! True say. I have a libra moon friend who said the following to this girl who told him she likes him.
Also LOL at the "you've inspired me to write again" bullshit. That is a classic Libra-influenced line if I ever heard one. My Libra ex was ALL ABOUT that shit. Like "oh last night i stayed up and wrote this poem about you by candlelight." jesus
Girl: I really like you.
Libra moon guy friend: I like talking to you too.
LOL
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I didn't respond, so he follows it up a couple minutes later with, "Didn't really mean to do this over text."
I again didn't respond, because... what am I gonna say to that? So he texts me several times later that night (paraphrasing because I deleted them):
"I really wasn't trying to being malicious or ill intentioned. I'm just trying to find the life I want."
Then:
"You've inspired me to start writing again. I hope you know how much that means to me."
Wtf?