Find'em, Fuck'em, Forget'em
Was I.. friend zoned? by this Cancer? (Page 2)
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Posted by puhleezeIt's my natural inclination to smile when I see people I know. I'll just keep doing what usually comes naturally until it no longer feels forced and/or I'm over it.Posted by AndalusiaOP why should you feel like giving him a smile? if anything don't bother even returning his smile if he smiles. he said no to you, you should be the one feeling mad.. keep your head high and walk like he does not exist.
Yep. Definitely avoiding me. Just past him in the hall. I smiled. He refused to make eye contact and abruptly turned the other way.
Ouch.click to expand
Fake it til you make it and all that.
So it turns out he might not be friend zoning me.. however he *might* be trying to friends-with-benefits zone me..
He was being squirrelly at work, so on Wednesday I sent him a funny, non work related email to break the ice. He responded, we emailed back and forth for a min, and that was that.
He emails me yesterday and we exchange a couple before lunch. After lunch, he emails me asking if I heard about Prince (he knows I'm a huge fan and went to concert last week). We talk about that for a bit, then he's all "I'm sure you have plans later, but if not and you wanna get a few drinks later, let me know." I told I did have plans, but that I'd be at such-and-such later if he felt like joining. He declined.
Then today he emails to say he skipped last night to make this recipe I had previously sent him, and because he figured it would have been awkward to be around my friends.. that he didn't have a specific reason for thinking it would be awkward, just that it would have been off.
I asked why he invited me for drinks if he thought it would be "off". He says "I think you and I could still get along easily, but at least in this time window I figured hanging out with you AND your friends would be weird. And I figured you were distraught over Prince."
He emails me yesterday and we exchange a couple before lunch. After lunch, he emails me asking if I heard about Prince (he knows I'm a huge fan and went to concert last week). We talk about that for a bit, then he's all "I'm sure you have plans later, but if not and you wanna get a few drinks later, let me know." I told I did have plans, but that I'd be at such-and-such later if he felt like joining. He declined.
Then today he emails to say he skipped last night to make this recipe I had previously sent him, and because he figured it would have been awkward to be around my friends.. that he didn't have a specific reason for thinking it would be awkward, just that it would have been off.
I asked why he invited me for drinks if he thought it would be "off". He says "I think you and I could still get along easily, but at least in this time window I figured hanging out with you AND your friends would be weird. And I figured you were distraught over Prince."
you won't let this one go huh
Posted by SensitiveBluesI agree. But we work together, so Idk what else I'm supposed to do.Posted by HouseCleaningshe's acting cool as a fuking cucumber, but doing the exact opposite
you won't let this one go huh
lol hilarious
she's into this guy, but tries to play this im so stoic and rational blah blah
virgos are so fuking annoyingclick to expand
Posted by SensitiveBluesyea thats whats odd. she acting too calm despite being used for a cum dumpster.Posted by HouseCleaningshe's acting cool as a fuking cucumber, but doing the exact opposite
you won't let this one go huh
lol hilarious
she's into this guy, but tries to play this im so stoic and rational blah blah
virgos are so fuking annoyingclick to expand
shes all like yea i'm fine everyone. REALLY... I'm FINE
Posted by cheekyfaerieI am not.
He's definitely trying to keep you on the hook for sex. Up to you if you're ok with that.
Fuck. I hate how stupid and naive I can be.
I told him the situation sucked because I liked him, but if he wasn't feeling it, there wasn't much that could be done. He said my response was "refreshingly realistic".
Yeah. He's not interested.
Yeah. He's not interested.
Posted by SensitiveBluesFeels like it, yeah.Posted by AndalusiaWhat an AHOLE. So he lead you on ...basically
I told him the situation sucked because I liked him, but if he wasn't feeling it, there wasn't much that could be done. He said my response was "refreshingly realistic".
Yeah. He's not interested.click to expand
Posted by SensitiveBluesThe Cap was no talk and the Cancer was all talk, apparently.. asking about my childhood, wanting to see where my parents lived, offering to let me use his toothbrush, emailing g or texting constantly, etc.Posted by Andalusiacompare your experience with the cap and this crab?Posted by SensitiveBluesFeels like it, yeah.Posted by AndalusiaWhat an AHOLE. So he lead you on ...basically
I told him the situation sucked because I liked him, but if he wasn't feeling it, there wasn't much that could be done. He said my response was "refreshingly realistic".
Yeah. He's not interested.
what differences do you notice?click to expand
Given the two choices and the resulting outcomes, I'd prefer the Cap's approach.
Me too.
Fuq crab men. And why the hell you were texting him so much? Girl if he wants you he will text. I learned the hard way believe me.
Posted by victoriageminiI wasn't texting.
Fuq crab men. And why the hell you were texting him so much? Girl if he wants you he will text. I learned the hard way believe me.
Posted by SensitiveBluesMy thoughts exactly.Posted by HouseCleaningshe's acting cool as a fuking cucumber, but doing the exact opposite
you won't let this one go huh
lol hilarious
she's into this guy, but tries to play this im so stoic and rational blah blah
virgos are so fuking annoyingclick to expand
@Andalusia
Unpopular opinion but a thought I had over this:
You know how Earth signs build up stress and a huge release is sex. For that...I think there is a chance to conflate the sex part with the liking part.
If you liked the sex...it doesn't matter how he objectifies you. You could objectify him and go there and get some good sex. I'm not advocating this as...well the path to be taken because your feelings are too mixed right now. But I am saying that for Virgos it's important to learn to differentiate emotions to sex and one way of doing that is experiencing stuff. It also doesn't tie into having no self-respect or anything. It is up to you what boundaries you have and what you can and can't cope with. Just an..alternate view of it. Not pushing you into an already muddy (pun) situation.
Unpopular opinion but a thought I had over this:
You know how Earth signs build up stress and a huge release is sex. For that...I think there is a chance to conflate the sex part with the liking part.
If you liked the sex...it doesn't matter how he objectifies you. You could objectify him and go there and get some good sex. I'm not advocating this as...well the path to be taken because your feelings are too mixed right now. But I am saying that for Virgos it's important to learn to differentiate emotions to sex and one way of doing that is experiencing stuff. It also doesn't tie into having no self-respect or anything. It is up to you what boundaries you have and what you can and can't cope with. Just an..alternate view of it. Not pushing you into an already muddy (pun) situation.
@marissa12 - you only read the initial post, didn't you 😛
Posted by DamnataTrue about the stress and release part.
@Andalusia
Unpopular opinion but a thought I had over this:
You know how Earth signs build up stress and a huge release is sex. For that...I think there is a chance to conflate the sex part with the liking part.
If you liked the sex...it doesn't matter how he objectifies you. You could objectify him and go there and get some good sex. I'm not advocating this as...well the path to be taken because your feelings are too mixed right now. But I am saying that for Virgos it's important to learn to differentiate emotions to sex and one way of doing that is experiencing stuff. It also doesn't tie into having no self-respect or anything. It is up to you what boundaries you have and what you can and can't cope with. Just an..alternate view of it. Not pushing you into an already muddy (pun) situation.
However I don't think I'm at this stage in development yet.
I have a cancer sun libra moon
What is going on him you won't know unless you ask .. However ...as a guess it sounds like there is an ex looming in the background that maybe he's hung up on might or might not be over hard to say but regardless sounds like he's probably likes you but isn't obsessed to the point of can't think of anything else maybe it's an ex or something is a bit missing. He sounds like he is trying to give it a good go and feels bad what he has done to you and is doing whatever he can to make you feel better. It also sounds like he's not wanting to throw it away in case whatever reason is holding him back is temporary hence still being in contact. That may seem bad to someone else but is not done in a bad way it's just how he feels at the time and can't help it.
The thing though is we need to feel "it" and it's super hard to go for someone without that as much as we want to ...it it's like our rational libra part weighs up the good and why we should but the cancer is either holding on to the past or someone else and needs to feel it on A really deep level (for example the other situation may be bad for us is done but it's been hard for us to move ahead etc) and our rational mind is struggling with our feeling mind ...
I know personally I don't want to throw away the prospect of a good person being I have a tendency to go for things that aren't good for me but I find it hard when I'm not magnetically drawn ..but then those ones are more than likely going to be bad for me..so I "try" to "work" on someone who is a better choice and hope that if I try something different I get a better result and try and work with my libra more And try to negate the cancer ...but I go in waves of being into it and not into it I just need that person to try and stick through it and perhaps give me a bit of anxiety or something such as by not being overly available all the time to give me a chance to "feel" it as opposed to have to think it ..like my cancer needs to feel it out (usually by a disappearing act how that happens) hard to explain .. But Your best bet would be to pull a disappearing act or a I'm too good for this and see what happens so he has a chance to feel the sense of missing out on a good thing and a bit of regret
Hope this makes sense it's hard to explain
What is going on him you won't know unless you ask .. However ...as a guess it sounds like there is an ex looming in the background that maybe he's hung up on might or might not be over hard to say but regardless sounds like he's probably likes you but isn't obsessed to the point of can't think of anything else maybe it's an ex or something is a bit missing. He sounds like he is trying to give it a good go and feels bad what he has done to you and is doing whatever he can to make you feel better. It also sounds like he's not wanting to throw it away in case whatever reason is holding him back is temporary hence still being in contact. That may seem bad to someone else but is not done in a bad way it's just how he feels at the time and can't help it.
The thing though is we need to feel "it" and it's super hard to go for someone without that as much as we want to ...it it's like our rational libra part weighs up the good and why we should but the cancer is either holding on to the past or someone else and needs to feel it on A really deep level (for example the other situation may be bad for us is done but it's been hard for us to move ahead etc) and our rational mind is struggling with our feeling mind ...
I know personally I don't want to throw away the prospect of a good person being I have a tendency to go for things that aren't good for me but I find it hard when I'm not magnetically drawn ..but then those ones are more than likely going to be bad for me..so I "try" to "work" on someone who is a better choice and hope that if I try something different I get a better result and try and work with my libra more And try to negate the cancer ...but I go in waves of being into it and not into it I just need that person to try and stick through it and perhaps give me a bit of anxiety or something such as by not being overly available all the time to give me a chance to "feel" it as opposed to have to think it ..like my cancer needs to feel it out (usually by a disappearing act how that happens) hard to explain .. But Your best bet would be to pull a disappearing act or a I'm too good for this and see what happens so he has a chance to feel the sense of missing out on a good thing and a bit of regret
Hope this makes sense it's hard to explain
Posted by soundsunsceneThere is an ex. He was married for a bit but got divorced earlier this year.
I have a cancer sun libra moon
What is going on him you won't know unless you ask .. However ...as a guess it sounds like there is an ex looming in the background that maybe he's hung up on might or might not be over hard to say but regardless sounds like he's probably likes you but isn't obsessed to the point of can't think of anything else maybe it's an ex or something is a bit missing. He sounds like he is trying to give it a good go and feels bad what he has done to you and is doing whatever he can to make you feel better. It also sounds like he's not wanting to throw it away in case whatever reason is holding him back is temporary hence still being in contact. That may seem bad to someone else but is not done in a bad way it's just how he feels at the time and can't help it.
The thing though is we need to feel "it" and it's super hard to go for someone without that as much as we want to ...it it's like our rational libra part weighs up the good and why we should but the cancer is either holding on to the past or someone else and needs to feel it on A really deep level (for example the other situation may be bad for us is done but it's been hard for us to move ahead etc) and our rational mind is struggling with our feeling mind ...
I know personally I don't want to throw away the prospect of a good person being I have a tendency to go for things that aren't good for me but I find it hard when I'm not magnetically drawn ..but then those ones are more than likely going to be bad for me..so I "try" to "work" on someone who is a better choice and hope that if I try something different I get a better result and try and work with my libra more And try to negate the cancer ...but I go in waves of being into it and not into it I just need that person to try and stick through it and perhaps give me a bit of anxiety or something such as by not being overly available all the time to give me a chance to "feel" it as opposed to have to think it ..like my cancer needs to feel it out (usually by a disappearing act how that happens) hard to explain .. But Your best bet would be to pull a disappearing act or a I'm too good for this and see what happens so he has a chance to feel the sense of missing out on a good thing and a bit of regret
Hope this makes sense it's hard to explain
And @soundsunscene, thank you for your response.
😱
I mentioned he ended a long term relationship in the OP. I suppose i should have said he was married though. He filed and they both signed off on the paperwork, so idk if that makes a difference or not.
So for the past week, he's been emailing me at work about non work related things.. telling me what he's been doing and upcoming plans he has and asking the same about me. When I reply, he apologizes if it takes him more than 5 or so minutes to respond back to my reply, for whatever reason. I never ask for an apology, he just gives them - we're at work; if someone doesn't respond right away, I assume it's because they're busy working.
I don't get it. Seems excessive if he's just trying to be nice or friendly.. But yet he still won't really look at/acknowledge me if we pass eachother in the hall.
I don't get it. Seems excessive if he's just trying to be nice or friendly.. But yet he still won't really look at/acknowledge me if we pass eachother in the hall.
Posted by SensitiveBluesI can try :/Posted by AndalusiaHe likes you. Duh. Can you just go with the FLOW
So for the past week, he's been emailing me at work about non work related things.. telling me what he's been doing and upcoming plans he has and asking the same about me. When I reply, he apologizes if it takes him more than 5 or so minutes to respond back to my reply, for whatever reason. I never ask for an apology, he just gives them - we're at work; if someone doesn't respond right away, I assume it's because they're busy working.
I don't get it. Seems excessive if he's just trying to be nice or friendly.. But yet he still won't really look at/acknowledge me if we pass eachother in the hall.
and stop overthinking...please.
click to expand
It seems like he does like me, but I've been wrong before.. just wanted to make sure I wasn't being (completely) crazy.
Posted by tizianiLol! To be fair though, I'm uncertain in most emotionally charged situations, so we can't really blame the Cancer board 😛
Something about this Cancer board is so strange. Even Melly sounds uncertain in this place.
It's the Bermuda triangle of DXP.
Posted by starwarsRuh-roh..
mind you, he lead me on too ^
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??!
omfg
will you do something so you won't be such a victim.
you keep over analyzing the situation because you don't know how the fuck to process what just happened to you. he ditched your ass so fucking fast your head is still spinning. you're beating a dead fucking horse to dust
your instincts are saying "i just got screwed over", but your mind says "lets look at this like a little 500 thousand piece puzzle, but before we assemble it we have to look each piece, clean them, count the number contours, measure them with a micrometer, connect them through a microscope, fuckign do slop, tangent, angle, vertices"
get a gallon of water, a funnel, and pour it into his gas tank so it will hydrolock his fucking engine
i can see it with in the next 20 years you're going to become one of those angry old bags who super glue their pussies shut and become a man hater because they've been victimized by the dick so much
will you do something so you won't be such a victim.
you keep over analyzing the situation because you don't know how the fuck to process what just happened to you. he ditched your ass so fucking fast your head is still spinning. you're beating a dead fucking horse to dust
your instincts are saying "i just got screwed over", but your mind says "lets look at this like a little 500 thousand piece puzzle, but before we assemble it we have to look each piece, clean them, count the number contours, measure them with a micrometer, connect them through a microscope, fuckign do slop, tangent, angle, vertices"
get a gallon of water, a funnel, and pour it into his gas tank so it will hydrolock his fucking engine
i can see it with in the next 20 years you're going to become one of those angry old bags who super glue their pussies shut and become a man hater because they've been victimized by the dick so much
Damn I adore Geminis.
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