What to do? Cancer man confusing me...

Ok, so I'm new to posting on this forum, but I really need some advice. I think I really messed things up with my cancer guy. I'm a Virgo (also 2 years older than him; I’m 27 he’s 25) but I’m a lot more inexperienced than him (first real relationship, this is his third). We met in June 2015 on a dating website. I messaged him with the intention of being friends (I was sleeping with a guy casually at that time, but knew it wasn’t going to work with him long-term) so just met up with him to see if something was there. We talked online for about a month before we officially met, but I could tell her really liked me prior. He wrote me really sweet notes and made a lot of effort to get to know me.

We met, and I thought he was cute and really nice but I was uncomfortable with showing that. So I hid my feelings, but he convinced me to date him (we officially started dating a month after we met) and he told me he loved me around the same time. I said it back a week later. We never really had a honeymoon phase, because usually around the time of my period, we’d have a huge blowout over something relatively dumb, I’d break up with him, he begged me to get back and this went on for about 11 mos., rinse and repeat (but probably every several weeks).

In between this, we got very serious. Talked about marriage, I sent him what engagement rings I wanted, we picked out baby names, and I met his family and his best friends very early on. He also wrote me a lot of short stories and poetry, etc. However, I guess the constant breaking up started to take a toll on him (along with some other things I was annoying about, i.e I was picky about what clothes he wore and what his hair looked like, also I had a lot of insecurities about his ex, because he compared me to her negatively one time and I constantly brought her up during arguments) because in June 2016 for the first time ever, he was the one to end things with me. It was brief (I forget how we got back together) but the kicker is, this was a week until we moved into a new place together.

We also had planned a 2 week vacation that he insisted I didn’t break even while we were broken up. This was all last month. So we were together but it was very strained and awkward for me during our vacation (visiting his family and attending one of his best friends’ wedding) because it felt forced and like he didn’t want to be with me. Throughout all this he was still pretty nice (i.e, attentive and always doing whatever I asked of him, paying for mostly everything) but whenever we started arguing (which became more and more frequent ), he kept saying he didn’t like my personality and that I knew he didn’t want to be with me.

After we got back from vacation, we officially started living in our new place together; however, it again was awkward. We weren’t officially broken up, but we weren’t really together either and it was eating away at me because it wasn’t at all like I imagined living with him to be like (I wasn’t able to cook or take care of him like I was used to) so one day I basically broke down crying in front of him( which ive never done in front of him or anyone else) told him how much I wanted to be with him and how much I loved him etc, and throughout this conversation he seemed really stressed and depending on what was said kept saying I do want to be with you, or I don’t want to be with you.

I admit that I started the conversation with saying I was going to move out, and he was really against this always. Anyway, we got together that day, but only that day because later that night we had a bad argument again with him saying he didn’t want to be with me. Then he started to sleep on the couch. Then I told him if he was really done, he would go on a date to prove to me that he was done, because he was giving me mixed messages by being really nice and doing things for me but saying he didn’t want to be with me. He did. I got mad (because I’m stupid) and went on a “date” of my own. After that, I said I couldn’t stand seeing him date other girls in front of me, and got some things and said I’d be going back to my parents for a while (but not moving out) and that I wouldn’t be communicating with him. So that lasted a week, before I found out he deleted me off of facebook, so I messaged him and asked him why.

He apologized then said he just wanted to live together this year as friends. I told him I was madly in love with him and I couldn’t stand watching him date other girls, so I couldn’t be his friend. Then he asked me if he should move out, and I said yes. He told me he applied for another apartment with a move in date of august 22nd. The next day he texted me saying “ I don’t want to be with you, but why does it hurt so much?” I replied because we love each other. He never stopped saying that he loved me, and through all this I felt like he did. Then just yesterday was his birthday. I wanted to be nice, so I got him a present and made a scavenger hunt with clues leading to the present. The notes were very sentimental and were basically my goodbye to him. He texted me after he did it and said he cried 3 times and that I was a special birthday to him.

In one of my clues, I made mention of being happy for him when he found a girl for him (meaning in the future) and he wrote in the text that he had found her. Apparently he was talking to some girl online for the past two weeks and he told me that “she was everything he wanted, but he can’t give her anything because he’s not over me yet”. I got kinda mad and said “was it even real love between us then, if you can move on so easily and find a girl you want to be with” and he said “just because she has everything I want doesn’t mean I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her” or something to that effect. I didn’t respond to him again that night because I got too upset.

Cut to this morning, I woke up and felt really hopeful, so texted him saying don’t give up on us, you belong to me, etc, etc. and we basically talked this whole day, but he ended with saying that he had made the choice to stay with me, but now he made the choice to leave me, and he won’t change his mind. So I said I “only you know what’s best for you, I won’t force or try to persuade you, I just wanted to let you know everything you did for me” and he said thanks, and then a little said “sorry you couldn’t live with me”.

Can you guys help? I really don’t know what to do here. It seems like he really doesn’t want to stop living with me, but I can’t watch him date other girls without wanting to kill myself, even though he said he wouldn’t bring any home. What do you think I should do? Sorry for the length!

Well sounds like he said a bunch of stuff and couldn't back it up which totally sucks...you moved in together after how long?? Seems a bit premature I dunno but id back the fuck off for quite awhile..not sure he just wants to be friends now but ya gotta respect it...and also no don't live with someone if you cant stand them dating others..get away from that!!! Move on and maybe it'll come back together in time.

we moved in together after a year of dating. he asked me again if i couldnt live with him, and i said "no, not if you're going to date other people, because i cant deal with that" and thats kind of where we are right now.

Regardless of the zodiac sign. I won't get back with him - if I were you. The fact he is dating Gosh... I will run a miles and heal the pain.

Another asshole Cancer. He wouldn't wear what you wanted, be what you wanted, stay in that bricked in basement like you wanted.

Really people. Jeez.

i'm confused. I'm the marker, or is he?

I get it P-Angel. I totally get it.