A capricorn broke my heart & I need feedback

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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
I met a Capricorn and it was love at first sight, like the love out of fairy tales. Everywhere we went people looked at us and seemed jealous of how 'in love' we were. We were together 6 months but for 3 he worked away. 1 month home, 1 month away. While away this past January he called and ended it. He said he was confused and complained about petty things and accused me of things that were not true. Petty things= the cat sleeping on the bed. Things that weren't true= that I talked negatively to my family about him. No amount of begging or reasoning could get through to him. Nothing I said could convince him he was wrong. He is now gone, disappeared, just like he never existed in my life, like I was nothing to him. I am left with a broken heart and I feel I lost my soulmate. Someone please talk to me explain his actions. If nothing else I need someone to talk to me and help me through this. I've tried to date other guys but none compares to him. I believe I will die alone bc I can't love anyone the way I love him. I'm falling into a deep depression without him and so I have found this website for help. Please help .
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
At least he had the guts to tell you instead of just disppearing from you. Be grateful for that. You got closure.

Just remember that when a guy breaks it off, it has nothing to do with what you've done or didn't do. You're not defective. He just didn't feel it. Can't blame him for that. You can't make yourself feel something for someone. So, it didn't work out. It sucks, but you move on. Life doesn't stop. End the dramatics. You won't end up alone. You now have the opportunity to find someone who will feel it for you.





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anna1
@anna1
11 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 4 · Posts: 717 · Topics: 76
As a Capricorn moon I can say that love at first sight is improbable for a capricorn. Yes we can get infatuated if we see some potential but for love we need to spend sometime with you in order to get to know you and then if you fit our standards then comes love. Its practical thing for us more than emotional. As far as your breakup is concerned maybe he wasn't that serious. The sooner you accept the fact the better it will be. That's all I can say
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SagiSun, AquaRising, LeoMoon, LibraMars+Venus
@SunMoonStars
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1685 · Topics: 200
Posted by truecap
Posted by IamaLibra
I believe I will die alone bc I can't love anyone the way I love him.



Ohhhh....you're dramatic!

Perhaps that's what turned him off....

Just sayin'.
click to expand




^ Listen to truecap 🙂

Caps are turned off by impracticality and dramatics, no matter if they have a bout of carefree wildness. They are thinking about things underneath the surface and weighing out the pros and cons.
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VirgoDragirl
@VirgoDragirl
11 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1077 · Topics: 33
Here is a convo after 8 yrs of relationship, living together and two adopted dogs:

Cap moon: So you want us to take a break, why don't you just move out now?
Libra moon: I don't want to throw all this away (crying!), our life for 7 yrs, I don't want this to end this way.
Cap moon: Why not? All these years, you are just a good lay for me anyway.
Libra moon: ... (sobbing!)

That is after 8 yrs of living together.

So yeah, TrueCap is right, you should be happy that he gave you closure. He could just drag it on for years.
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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
I have to admit, The truth hurts ugh.. it was hard to read these, but I appreciate every bit of honesty and information you all have given me weather it be positive or negative.
My problem is that HE was the one pushing to get serious quickly not me. I was a bit wild at first so HE wanted to be "boyfriend/girlfriend" almost immediately to make sure I wasn't around any other guys. I say love at first sight because that's what he always said and our synastry report of our natal charts describes it as that. We also met during the Super Moon. Is there anyway that this can cause a false sense of attraction? The synastry report is all positive, saying things like, fate brought us together and the word "soul mates" is used along with idyllic love . I have done chart comparisons with other guys since him and none say the things that ours say. I am trying to date but he is on my mind. The only thing that was highlighted as a problem was communication; that we have different ways of handling emotions, and communicating in writing or getting a therapist to help would be beneficial. However, I didn't have the synastry report until after the breakup and then it was too late bc he just wont listen to my reasoning. And don't get me wrong, when I say wild I don't mean I didn't settle down. I did. Anything that bothered him he kept inside and didn't tell me until after we brokeup. I had no opportunity to change things like "the cats on the bed". And the cats on the bed aren't at his house, they are at mine and he complained saying "in the future if we were married I wouldn't want the cats on the bed" Well, that to me is an easy fix , the cats wouldn't be on the bed I would just keep the door closed or push them off the bed. It isn't a reason to breakup which makes me agree with Trucap's comment "Sounds like excuses he's using to have a reason to break up with you" .

Does anyone think he will change his mind and eventually call or show up and say he is wrong and sorry? I ask this because he is also a retrograde individual with 6 planets in retrograde when he was born and he broke up with me during this past Mercury retrograde.

ViroDragirl, I'm sorry your cap said that to you, I think that was cruel. My cap did not give me closure his last email said "god sent you a good man and you basically spit in his face bc you insinuated to everyone he's cheap with money", which I didn't. It was not something I said or did. He, because of his own insecurities believes I did.
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anna1
@anna1
11 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 4 · Posts: 717 · Topics: 76
Posted by truecap
Posted by IamaLibra

My problem is that HE was the one pushing to get serious quickly not me.



This is a red flag to me because people that get serious quickly, tend to lose interest quickly. Not always, of course, but enough people are like this to make me sit up and take notice to beware.
click to expand




+100
My cappy guy took at least 7 to 8 years in just observing me from a distance. I didn't notice that he was interested because we never talked to each other. after 8 months of observation he approached me and said that he just want friendship nothing else he Wasn't in hurry which was a green flag I got plenty of time to think before he proposed me.
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SureShotCap
@SureShotCap
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 793 · Topics: 6
He does NOT trust you. He may love you with all his heart but loves himself more so before he gets hurt, he will call it quits.
If he believes you DID say something behind his back to whom ever, you are considered a traitor and cannot be trusted, sorry.

Capricorns have problems falling in love because they rather use logic for everything they do, falling in love causes problems because emotions cloud logic, there for leaving them vulnerable. Insecure people hate to be vulnerable so they never enjoy the feelings of love, their lost.

CONCLUSION= If he loves you he will be back. Use the answer below when he returns. Helping him will help both of you to grow into a healthier relationship.
ANSWER= The only way is to make him feel secure of his insecurities. This pertains to every relationship, including friendship...

PS. I hate animals on my bed also, don't know why. Lol

NEVER LET NO ONE TELL YOU LOVE DOESN'T EXIST, IT DOES, EVEN FOR CAPRICORNS...

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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
Thank you SureShotCap. I feel your reply is very very helpful. Maybe because I believe he does truly love me and ]I know this from our synastry chart].
He has told me before that he is insecure saying that if we were ever married he would always wonder if I'm with him for money and not bc I truly love HIM. Then said he didn't like telling me that because it made him feel vulnerable but "there it is."
To me this is absolutely inconceivable , I wish he could see into my brain and see how highly I think of him. I always told him how in love I am with him, how smart and talented he is. I never flirted with other men either. I'm very loyal. And I always defended him. So even if someone said something bad about him, that isn't my fault , I cant control other people , but I ALWAYS defended him to the point where I would almost fight for him. [but not bc well I'm 36 hah but you know what I mean, I stick by my man]
So how do I , if I ever have the chance, help him feel secure?
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asha
@asha
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 261 · Topics: 17
I think all depends on whether he sees you as a catch, meaning better than him in one way or another (best in all possible ways 🙂). If he does chances are good that you have him back. Just don't be pathetic, ask him back strongly but don't bend.

Others said here that Caps and Libras don't make a good combo, which is my impression too. But now you want him so it`s unlikely that you listen to a word of caution.
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SureShotCap
@SureShotCap
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 793 · Topics: 6
Posted by asha
I always told him how in love I am with him, how smart and talented he is

That`s very unnecessary!



Now if you pay attention to details, you would:

Tell him the reasons WHY you love him...
Why you think he is SMART or TALENTED...

People are unique for a reason. If you single out the differences you make that person feel special. case closed! If your vague, the words don't mean nothing...
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by IamaLibra
Thank you SureShotCap. I feel your reply is very very helpful. Maybe because I believe he does truly love me and ]I know this from our synastry chart].
He has told me before that he is insecure saying that if we were ever married he would always wonder if I'm with him for money and not bc I truly love HIM. Then said he didn't like telling me that because it made him feel vulnerable but "there it is."
To me this is absolutely inconceivable , I wish he could see into my brain and see how highly I think of him. I always told him how in love I am with him, how smart and talented he is. I never flirted with other men either. I'm very loyal. And I always defended him. So even if someone said something bad about him, that isn't my fault , I cant control other people , but I ALWAYS defended him to the point where I would almost fight for him. [but not bc well I'm 36 hah but you know what I mean, I stick by my man]
So how do I , if I ever have the chance, help him feel secure?



Seriously. You can be loyal, fight for him and give him compliments all day long - if he doesn't feel it he doesn't feel it. And I sure am an astrology noob, but I am pretty darn sure that you can not tell if a person is or is not in love with you from a synastry chart. The time and place you were born will never ever change and people fall out of love, so...

Don't sit there and wait for him. He broke up with you for a reason. I know it's not easy, but you need to get over him somehow and be up and running again. If he happens to come crawling back to you, then let's see if you are available.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by SureShotCap
Posted by asha
I always told him how in love I am with him, how smart and talented he is

That`s very unnecessary!



Now if you pay attention to details, you would:

Tell him the reasons WHY you love him...
Why you think he is SMART or TALENTED...

People are unique for a reason. If you single out the differences you make that person feel special. case closed! If your vague, the words don't mean nothing...
click to expand




+1
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by IamaLibra
Thank you SureShotCap. I feel your reply is very very helpful. Maybe because I believe he does truly love me and ]I know this from our synastry chart].
He has told me before that he is insecure saying that if we were ever married he would always wonder if I'm with him for money and not bc I truly love HIM. Then said he didn't like telling me that because it made him feel vulnerable but "there it is."
To me this is absolutely inconceivable , I wish he could see into my brain and see how highly I think of him. I always told him how in love I am with him, how smart and talented he is. I never flirted with other men either. I'm very loyal. And I always defended him. So even if someone said something bad about him, that isn't my fault , I cant control other people , but I ALWAYS defended him to the point where I would almost fight for him. [but not bc well I'm 36 hah but you know what I mean, I stick by my man]
So how do I , if I ever have the chance, help him feel secure?



This is a key statement and VERY, VERY important for you to pick up on. Obviously he already felt this way or he wouldn't have said it. So, your job was to SHOW him, not tell him, that this wasn't true. It was your job to PROVE it to him.

Here's a difference between caps and libras...
My libra friend and I were talking about upcoming Valentines Day and plans
Me: I don't care if he gets me anything or not. I just want a quiet evening snuggling at home.
Libra: That's crazy. I know I BETTER get flowers and something shiny to wear!!

Not saying you are like this, it's just that Libras project this type of persona sometimes.
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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1


This is a key statement and VERY, VERY important for you to pick up on. Obviously he already felt this way or he wouldn't have said it. So, your job was to SHOW him, not tell him, that this wasn't true. It was your job to PROVE it to him.

Here's a difference between caps and libras...
My libra friend and I were talking about upcoming Valentines Day and plans
Me: I don't care if he gets me anything or not. I just want a quiet evening snuggling at home.
Libra: That's crazy. I know I BETTER get flowers and something shiny to wear!!

Not saying you are like this, it's just that Libras project this type of persona sometimes.



I am a bit like that TrueCap, you are right, except it doesn't need to be expensive, it could be a love letter or a shell off the beach. Don't get me wrong, I love all the fancy shiny things too, I just don't demand them. However he does feel I'm like that. And again, no matter how much I tried to convince him, he didn't believe me. He said I have a "false sense of entitlement" actually.
" your job was to SHOW him, not tell him" , I just don't know how to SHOW him like you are mentioning . I want to ...well wanted to, but just don't know how.

I've been marking off on the calendar eachday I don't contact him. 3.5 weeks now. Is it best NOT to contact him? Or is it better to reach out to him using some of the suggestions I'm getting? I understand many are telling me to move on. I'd actually tell my friend to move on if she was in my situation. But I always think if it was me, I'd want him to never give up on me. Anyways, I don't wanna be a stalker or look crazy so I've been leaving him alone....
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
evalani05
Say she's sorry for what, exactly? The only thing he will take from that is that he got a fake apology and lose all respect for her. Because how do you give someone a real honest apology without even knowing what it's for, and potentionally even for something you don't even regret doing in the first place.

I think the guy has been very clear with her. He broke up with her and then he vanished. Does that seem like a guy who wants to be around? You even write in your post that capricorns do everything on their own time, and I agree with you - but then let him do just that. If he wants her, then I would suggest to HIM to grow some balls and go tell HER.
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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
So I'm going to ask this, and I may regret it, but here goes.... I had been using his Netflix all along. Even after we brokeup I continued using it but it was for my daughter. You could look at account activity and see it was all children's shows. Yesterday he changed his password. We can no longer use it obviously. Is this simply him changing his password so his ex isn't using the account? Or is this a jab trying to get a reaction from me? [reaction being me to contact him]
I'm not a total nutjob . I "get it" he doesn't need to let me , his EX, use his Netflix. It is probably just a logical thing to do after breaking up....or is it?
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by cancerdreamer9
Don't listen to TrueCap. she is a stalker and follows people around she randomly decides to hate on. She is the only person i've ever even blocked on here besides someone else who was bothering me at the same time as her so i blocked by association. I would be interested to help you,OP,if you would like. You will get through this and i believe that he really did like you a lot,love you and feel the way you know he felt. It is possible for you to get him back. Right now,I encourage you to let it all out,process it,and feel how you really actually feel.



Instead of blocking Truecap, I suggest you read her posts and learn something. Imo, she's pretty much consistently to the point.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by evalani05
Posted by HappyCapper
evalani05
Say she's sorry for what, exactly? The only thing he will take from that is that he got a fake apology and lose all respect for her. Because how do you give someone a real honest apology without even knowing what it's for, and potentionally even for something you don't even regret doing in the first place.

I think the guy has been very clear with her. He broke up with her and then he vanished. Does that seem like a guy who wants to be around? You even write in your post that capricorns do everything on their own time, and I agree with you - but then let him do just that. If he wants her, then I would suggest to HIM to grow some balls and go tell HER.



Do you honestly think that every person who asks here for advice or help says everything there is?Read between the lines HappyCapper,you are missing something because she didn't mentioned all of it.
click to expand




No, I don't, but I cannot judge anything that is not here. I don't know what it is I'm supposed to read. Please enlighten me. In her post I read between the lines that she didn't know what she had done wrong, in his opinion, except for the talking negatively about him to her family(which, according to her wasn't true, hence, she should not apoplogise for) and the petty things, such as the cat. You cannot apologise for things you are not sorry about or for things that didn't happen. I also read that he broke up with her and then vanished; was that not true? What am I missing here? Because if it's just a case of me not being able to read between the lines I'd love to know what I'm missing, cause I would really not want to lead her astray.
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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
Posted by evalani05
"During a fight [ I was drinking] I told him I was going to go sleep with someone else bc he told me to leave his house. It was an argument ad I always thought they were just words during a fight but he must think I would do it even tho at the time I apologized it probably still lingers in his mind. I have no desire to be with any other man. Even after 3.5 weeks and many offers for booty calls I'm not interested. I'm still "his" in my mind.

He does work very hard for his money. You are so right about that! He makes much more than me. How do I show him I'm not after his money. [ And honestly I'm not! ]

Throughout the synastry report it talks about things that may cause problems of course and I'm seeing things that mirror the many things he mentioned or talked about during this breakup. This is my list of apologies. I may or may not include everything, it is alot but maybe you could help me word it so I don't sound like a desperate freak.😉
I am sorry for:
- limitations placed on him ie: complaining about him working on his project, complaining about him being away at work. You deserve freedom to follow your individual interests.
-superior attitude in defence causing him to lose self confidence
-being critical and judgmental.
-being impatient and pressuring you while you were away
-not asking you if i could help with your project
-making you feel that i lack commitment to our relationship
-always comparing you to my ex bfs. this is something I need to overcome. Past hurts and failures in my relationships have nothing to do with you and I need to get over them.I am sensitive because of bad experiences with ex's and have taken it out on you.
- I made you feel that your path is being blocked by my stubborn personality."


She wrote me afterwards. How this sounds to you?If you speak faster than your mind can think you'll be missing some details,just a tip!



Just to make it clear you guys, these things didn't happen during this breakup in January. These were previous arguments throughout our relationship.. Already fought and apologized but I think it obviously lingers in his mind. I'm new to the forum so I didn't know how much to include in my writeup. Ask me what other information you need I'll tell.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by IamaLibra
So I'm going to ask this, and I may regret it, but here goes.... I had been using his Netflix all along. Even after we brokeup I continued using it but it was for my daughter. You could look at account activity and see it was all children's shows. Yesterday he changed his password. We can no longer use it obviously. Is this simply him changing his password so his ex isn't using the account? Or is this a jab trying to get a reaction from me? [reaction being me to contact him]
I'm not a total nutjob . I "get it" he doesn't need to let me , his EX, use his Netflix. It is probably just a logical thing to do after breaking up....or is it?



Don't use his Netfix whether it's for your daughter or you or anyone else. I actually cringe when I read this. Sorry, but you wanted to hear an opinion and here is mine.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
evalani05
I think it sounds horrible. Question: how the *** am I supposed to read this in her post? I'm at a loss here. Your little tip there, I think would fit her more than me. I am absolutely shocked. If the guy is even the tinyest bit like me, she can forget about him. There is no way in h**l I would ever even consider talking to a person who treated me that way. I am apparently suposed to have psychic powers here and know what she wrote somewhere else, so maybe I'm missing more, but I truly think she needs to get over this guy. In fact, I wouldn't want a guy who came back after I had done that to him - no self respect at all.

Drunk or whatever; to tell him that she was going to sleep with someone else bc he told her to leave the house is so off putting to me. And it's not just that I would think it would actually be done, but the fact that she said it at all. Omg. That is sooo off all limits. Only that would make me run. And then we have the other things. She needs to learn from her mistakes and cut her losses, and should she apologise? Most definitely! I agree with you there, evalani05. But not with any expectation of getting him back - just to apologise for her behaviour.

OP: I'm sorry to be this harsh, but this is what I truly feel and imo, you need to hear it. I'm not saying these things to be mean, I say them because I think it would help you. You may be hurt today, but in the long run I feel i will be useful. I think you have already learnt from this, though, which is great. We all make mistakes and that's okay as long as we learn from them. I truly wish you all the best!
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anna1
@anna1
11 Years500+ PostsAries

Comments: 4 · Posts: 717 · Topics: 76
Posted by cancerdreamer9
Don't listen to TrueCap. she is a stalker and follows people around she randomly decides to hate on. She is the only person i've ever even blocked on here besides someone else who was bothering me at the same time as her so i blocked by association. I would be interested to help you,OP,if you would like. You will get through this and i believe that he really did like you a lot,love you and feel the way you know he felt. It is possible for you to get him back. Right now,I encourage you to let it all out,process it,and feel how you really actually feel.


Truecap is the one of the most experienced Capricorn out there we all are learning from her logical and honest advices. All her advices are always to the point no crap. Read all her posts and you will learn something valuable from each.
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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
Posted by HappyCapper
evalani05
I think it sounds horrible. Question: how the *** am I supposed to read this in her post? I'm at a loss here. Your little tip there, I think would fit her more than me. I am absolutely shocked. If the guy is even the tinyest bit like me, she can forget about him. There is no way in h**l I would ever even consider talking to a person who treated me that way. I am apparently suposed to have psychic powers here and know what she wrote somewhere else, so maybe I'm missing more, but I truly think she needs to get over this guy. In fact, I wouldn't want a guy who came back after I had done that to him - no self respect at all.

Drunk or whatever; to tell him that she was going to sleep with someone else bc he told her to leave the house is so off putting to me. And it's not just that I would think it would actually be done, but the fact that she said it at all. Omg. That is sooo off all limits. Only that would make me run. And then we have the other things. She needs to learn from her mistakes and cut her losses, and should she apologise? Most definitely! I agree with you there, evalani05. But not with any expectation of getting him back - just to apologise for her behaviour.

OP: I'm sorry to be this harsh, but this is what I truly feel and imo, you need to hear it. I'm not saying these things to be mean, I say them because I think it would help you. You may be hurt today, but in the long run I feel i will be useful. I think you have already learnt from this, though, which is great. We all make mistakes and that's okay as long as we learn from them. I truly wish you all the best!



I agree! I was out of line. It was at the beginning of our relationship and it was during the time where I was still being wild. I am not insulted in any way shape or form from what you are telling me. I am humble enough to admit when I am wrong. I have no problem apologizing. I do however feel I should be given some slack. I actually have been separated for 1.5 yr from my husband.[working on divorce]My husband was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. I was taking antidepressants and anxiety meds. My Cap came along and I told him I was still healing and needed someone patient and willing to work with me through this. He was determined to be that person. He said I love you first and wanted me to be "his girl". I agree being drunk is not an excuse. T
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IamaLibra
@IamaLibra
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
cont......
Those meds made me act crazy. My cap wanted me to stop but I was scared of the withdrawal. Now that he broke-up with me. I stopped cold turkey. Went thru all the sickness and stuff to prove to him I'm serious about doing anything to make it work. I think if you are going to be with someone forever weather married or not you should be able to sometimes forgive and forget right? And in order to grow old together you need to sometimes work on things to get through hardships. My cap wasn't perfect either. He wasn't always so sweet and innocent. I feel he has some things to apologize for too. I'm a libra I'm very forgiving and I don't stay mad long at all. Since I was coming out of a marriage I was trying to "learn" to date again. I didn't really know how to act to tell you the truth. I didn't know if I should be offering to help him with his projects , I was scared to be over bearing and smothering. Make sense? I know somethings can scare a guy away. I didn't want to be leachey. I got bad advice from a friend who told me to act like I didn't care and act independent. That's why I said to him there were other guys out there. I have alot of regrets. I wish I had a magic wand. I feel like I wasn't myself with him all the time. I wish I had a second chance. I'm sry you guys I'm a bit emotional today. I've been crying over this all morning.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
OP
Sooo happy you didn't take offence!

I have been through a divorce and know some of what it can do to you. I have also eaten anti depressants(not due to depression, though) and I reacted so strongly to the meds that I had to quit. In short, I know they can mess you up really bad. Problem is: he can cut you some slack due to all this, but he's only human and it's probably not going to be easy for him to understand all this and he can still not accept anything(which I very well know that you also know). Also, you were only effectively together for three months, if I understand your opening post correctly. This(and the knowledge about what the divorce and meds are doing to you) also makes it difficult for him to understand you, which, tbh, is also a reason for you to be extra careful about how you act.

"I think if you are going to be with someone forever weather married or not you should be able to sometimes forgive and forget right? And in order to grow old together you need to sometimes work on things to get through hardships. " I completely agree, but we are all different when it comes to what is acceptable and what is not. And also, you can't expect the same from a person you have known effectively for three months as you would from a person you're married to. You are still getting to know each other.

One thing that strikes me in your latest post is that I get the feeling that you are very dependent on others opinions to make your decisions. There is nothing wrong with listening to advice - on the contrary! I mean, always listen to other people's advice, but make your own decisions. I just feel you need to really step inside your own head and try to figure out what YOU want and what is acceptable to YOU. How do you want to be treated? How do you want to treat other people?

This may actually be something that will prove to be very beneficial to you - it seems to me you are a person who wants to be the best you can be and the progression of your posts tells me that you are really moving forward. You had a lot of bullbutter in your past and I think it's still very much present, but I've got a feeling that you will work through it. Maybe be single for a while and take care of you(and your daughter, ofc).

I know I could be waaay off in my assessements of your story due to limited info about it, so don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions at all. And again: I know I can sound harsh sometimes, but I only mean well.
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asha
@asha
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 261 · Topics: 17

IamaLibra,

Reading your posts it strikes me that you are ready to take too much criticism on you. In my opinion you have done nothing inexcusable to this man. No one is perfect, we all have our moments, may lose control and say things we don't mean. If this is not regular an apology should do.

No need to sit here and discuss your most intimate issues with strangers. Go to your man, personally, no letters, sit him down and talk to him. Then you`ll see and decide further.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by IamaLibra

This is a key statement and VERY, VERY important for you to pick up on. Obviously he already felt this way or he wouldn't have said it. So, your job was to SHOW him, not tell him, that this wasn't true. It was your job to PROVE it to him.

Here's a difference between caps and libras...
My libra friend and I were talking about upcoming Valentines Day and plans
Me: I don't care if he gets me anything or not. I just want a quiet evening snuggling at home.
Libra: That's crazy. I know I BETTER get flowers and something shiny to wear!!

Not saying you are like this, it's just that Libras project this type of persona sometimes.



I am a bit like that TrueCap, you are right, except it doesn't need to be expensive, it could be a love letter or a shell off the beach. Don't get me wrong, I love all the fancy shiny things too, I just don't demand them. However he does feel I'm like that. And again, no matter how much I tried to convince him, he didn't believe me. He said I have a "false sense of entitlement" actually.
" your job was to SHOW him, not tell him" , I just don't know how to SHOW him like you are mentioning . I want to ...well wanted to, but just don't know how.

I've been marking off on the calendar eachday I don't contact him. 3.5 weeks now. Is it best NOT to contact him? Or is it better to reach out to him using some of the suggestions I'm getting? I understand many are telling me to move on. I'd actually tell my friend to move on if she was in my situation. But I always think if it was me, I'd want him to never give up on me. Anyways, I don't wanna be a stalker or look crazy so I've been leaving him alone....



3 1/2 weeks? He's done. He ghosted. He's moved on. He expects you to get the hint.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by cancerdreamer9
Don't listen to TrueCap. she is a stalker and follows people around she randomly decides to hate on. She is the only person i've ever even blocked on here besides someone else who was bothering me at the same time as her so i blocked by association. I would be interested to help you,OP,if you would like. You will get through this and i believe that he really did like you a lot,love you and feel the way you know he felt. It is possible for you to get him back. Right now,I encourage you to let it all out,process it,and feel how you really actually feel.



Lol!!

I say it like I see it.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by IamaLibra
So I'm going to ask this, and I may regret it, but here goes.... I had been using his Netflix all along. Even after we brokeup I continued using it but it was for my daughter. You could look at account activity and see it was all children's shows. Yesterday he changed his password. We can no longer use it obviously. Is this simply him changing his password so his ex isn't using the account? Or is this a jab trying to get a reaction from me? [reaction being me to contact him]
I'm not a total nutjob . I "get it" he doesn't need to let me , his EX, use his Netflix. It is probably just a logical thing to do after breaking up....or is it?



If you broke up, why should he provide you and your daughter with a free netflix account. It's only $ 9 a month, get your own account. I don't see what is wrong with him changing his password. It's logical. It's not personal, it just makes sense.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by Secret
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by cancerdreamer9
Don't listen to TrueCap. she is a stalker and follows people around she randomly decides to hate on. She is the only person i've ever even blocked on here besides someone else who was bothering me at the same time as her so i blocked by association. I would be interested to help you,OP,if you would like. You will get through this and i believe that he really did like you a lot,love you and feel the way you know he felt. It is possible for you to get him back. Right now,I encourage you to let it all out,process it,and feel how you really actually feel.



Instead of blocking Truecap, I suggest you read her posts and learn something. Imo, she's pretty much consistently to the point.



I don't like to interfere in "dramas", but I have to say something about this. I don't know TrueCap, but she is one of the few people in here from who we can learn a lot from.
And yes, like HappyCapper said, instead of blocking her you should listen to her. When I started coming to this forum I had to go back to the history to read all advices and opinions from her, because they were extremely helpful and logical, I've learned a lot in 40 minutes than in 10 years of real life relations experiencies.
That's why I respect her and everyone should too.
click to expand




Awww, shucks! I feel so flattered. Thank you for saying that. 🙂
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by IamaLibra
Posted by Secret
I completely agree with HappyCapper, why were you using your ex's account? Sorry but I can't see a logical reason here.



He had said it was ok. And HE gave me the password. I wasn't being dishonest. I would never use it unless it had been "ok-d" by him. I'm not using it anymore of course. I understand that it isn't something I should do.
click to expand




Maybe he canceled the account altogether. It happens.
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